So it's been probably too long again, sorry. I know I suck with regular updates but I haven't abandoned the story, I promise.
Marcus turned to Mike who looked angrier then he had seen him thus far. Marcus could practically curse his brother, for being such a fucking closed off idiot sometimes.
"You know your dad might have a shitty way of showing it but you are the most important thing to him in this world. Trust me, Mike. I know," Marcus said gently taking in his nephew's expression.
"No offense, Uncle Marcus, I know you love him and all but I realised a long time ago that the most important thing to Harvey Specter is Harvey Specter. Then, probably his job," scoffed Mike. He refused to make eye contact with his uncle. Mike couldn't help the anger that had built up, particularly in the last few years, regarding his father. He had done everything to be the good son. To be a son that Harvey was proud of, that anyone would be proud of. He was done though. Harvey was not the kind of Dad that Mike was proud of. So what right did Harvey have to expect anything in return?
"Mikey, my boy if you knew half of what you're father has done for you…" Marcus said practically to himself.
"Like what? Send me to live with Grammy when I was just three years old till I was five. Let Nina take me. Throw me off on whoever there is still left in this tiny family of mine that can actually bare to spend the summer with me or send me off to camp if he can't find anyone. Tell me Uncle Marcus did I forget anything else Harvey has done for me in the few thirteen years he has known of my existence," Mike practically spat. Mike couldn't stand it; he had blown up and exposed himself. And he hated his father even more for being able to stir these emotions in him. If he could have inherited anything from Harvey, why couldn't it have been his coldness? He pushed his plate away from him and without a second of hesitation ran out the door and down the street. Not giving Marcus an opportunity to say anything or even attempt to stop him.
When Mike reached the park, he pulled out his phone dialing Trevor's number off by heart. It rang for a beat or two before the usually raspy answer came through the phone.
Mike practically laughed in relief, "What are you on this time, Trev?"
"Mikey, my boy, mi amigo, my brother from another mother, whoops wait you don't have a mother," Trevor slurred down the phone.
The familiar pang of hurt stung his chest but he pushed the emotion aside. Anything would do right now to dull the pain.
"Trev, you at home?" Mike asked.
"Of course, the old ones are gone for the day," Trevor responded somewhat coherently.
"Okay, don't move a muscle. I'll be there in twenty," Mike said hanging up the phone and running to the subway station.
"What exactly do you mean you lost him?" Harvey yelled down the phone. His anger was palpable and if the terrified associate's face was anything to go by, he probably looked like he was capable of murdering anyone who came before him.
"Well now, Harvey, if you hadn't abandoned your son to go and play big angry boss somewhere, perhaps the day could have proceeded as it had been." Marcus retorted.
"I only left, Marcus because he would barely look at me, let alone talk to me. I wanted you to work your favourite uncle powers and find out how the hell I am supposed to rectify this god damn situation that I am currently stuck living in," Harvey bit back.
"Well maybe Harvey did you ever think that that is the problem you keep shrugging off your parental responsibilities onto other people when it gets hard. Stop running from him and just parent him. He doesn't need to be abandoned again," Marcus shouted. He definitely gave as good as he got but the minute the words left his mouth he regretted even thinking them, let alone voicing them.
Harvey could barely breath. The comments had cut him deeper then he would like to admit because he knew there was truth behind them. In the past Harvey had looked for easy ways but he had always assured himself it was the best thing for Mike. That Mike was his primary concern and he would always put Mikes needs before his own. He loved Mike more then words could possibly articulate and he had never in his own mind abandoned him. Maybe he had though, maybe he was a terrible father, why else would Mike act out this way?
"Harvey, I'm so sorry. I… I didn't mean it, I swear," Marcus stumbled over his words rushing to reassure his brother. The silence coming from Harvey could only mean one thing though. The words were raking through his mind and twisting a knife thoroughly in his gut.
After a moment of silence, Harvey finally responded. "It's fine Marcus, just go back to the apartment I'll go find Mike and meet you there," His voice was low and dead pan, no emotion betraying it.
Marcus sighed on the other line and reluctantly agreed.
"You know your dad will go ape if he catches us," Trevor said passing the blunt to Mike.
"Ugh Trev, could we maybe talk about anything but him," Mike sighed before inhaling deeply. The last breath of air felt lighter as his body began to relax and so did his mind.
"We should order a pizza, or two actually. Richie rich you got any money on you?" Trevor asked holding the phone against his ear.
Mike emptied his pocket pulling out two twenty dollar bills and his phone. He saw the twelve missed calls from Marcus and four from his dad. Of course Marcus would be the one more worried about him then Harvey. At least he always had Marcus and Grammy. He could be unlucky he and have no one. Mike took out another bud from the bag and began to roll another joint. After that thought, all he wanted was to relax.
He was nearly finished the second joint when a knock came at the door.
"About time," Trevor yelled picking up the money from the floor and heading towards the door.
Mike followed behind, joint in hand.
When the door swung open though, Harvey stood behind it. His face clouded with shock and then anger. He reached out grabbing Mike's arm and pulling him through the open door.
"Say goodbye to Trevor, Mike because this is the last time you will ever see him," Harvey threatened, his voice deep and seething with anger.
Mike was so taken aback that he willingly followed Harvey to the car. As Harvey reached forward and forcefully flung the door open, Mike seemed to snap out of it.
"No," Mike stated firmly as Harvey waited for him to get into the car.
"In the car, Mike. Now," Harvey said pushing him towards the door.
"Back up, Harvey," Mike yelled.
Harvey just stared and it was all it took for Mike to slip down reluctantly into the seat.
Harvey sat fuming in his seat, the anger was pulsing through him and he wanted to hit something, to break something. But wasn't breaking his son enough, he reluctantly thought. Harvey shock his head, he didn't need or want a pity party. Instead he looked at Mike, really looked at him. The bruising was still fresh on Mike's face. His eyes were almost electric blue because of how red the whites were.
"Mike. Please tell me how I can fix this?" He asked almost begging and Harvey didn't beg. "I just want to fix this."
Mike met his eyes and they were wet with unshed tears. Harvey nearly gasped but restrained himself. He hadn't seen his son this upset in a long time.
"What did I do Dad? What did I do Dad, that made you want to get rid of me so easily? That made you hate me?" Mike cried, unable to hide his pain.
Harvey felt his heart tighten and sick rise in his throat as he watched his son break down. It took him a moment to be able to collect himself and his thoughts.
"Mike, I don't hate you. I could never hate you. I know I messed up kid, I'm sorry. I swear I thought I was doing what was right, everything I did was for you kid. All I have in this world is you. I love you so much, Mike and I'll try better. Okay? I'll try," Harvey said.
Mike was staring at him, the tears still flowing from his blue eyes. He nodded in agreement.
"Nina, I'm only giving him to you because I have no choice but I swear if you so much as hurt him, in any way…" Harvey practically yelled.
"You'll what Harvey?" Nina taunted. "The judge agreed we have both made mistakes. So get off your high horse and stop pretending you didn't leave him too."
Harvey wished he could slap her, but he knew it was wrong and he knew she was right.
"The difference was I saw him, every chance I could and I came back for him. You on the other hand haven't seen your son in five years." Harvey said trying to keep him calm.
"This big bad lawyer act doesn't work Harvey. Hell you couldn't even keep your own son, some lawyer you must be," she said walking away from him. She turned around only to add one last remark. "Have him ready by five, okay?"
Harvey looked back at the courthouse, the custody case was finally settled after nearly six months of fighting and yet in one day his whole world was about to change.
He got into the car, not saying a word to Ray, other than to take him to Mike's school.
Harvey walked up to the classroom door, pulling Mike out of school early. He watched as Mike excitedly packed his schoolbag and ran out towards him, jumping into his arms for a hug.
"Where we going Daddy?" Mike asked unable to contain his joy about leaving school early and to hang out with his dad.
Harvey wished he had made more effort and that he had worked fewer nights. That he had spent most of his free moments with his son,
"Well, where do you want to go?" Harvey asked smiling.
"Mmm," Mike said, tapping his finger against his mouth, smiling secretively "I know," he said jumping. " Let's go to the zoo."
"That sounds like a good idea," Harvey responded.
Mike ran all over the zoo, excitedly pointing out all his favourite animals and anything they did which he thought was interesting, which was nearly everything. Harvey couldn't help but feel proud when he would sprout off random facts about each of the animals, facts that he had picked up from god knows where. When they finally hit the penguins they watched as one of the penguins protectively watched over a baby penguin. Mike laughed and pointed the penguin out to Harvey.
"That's you, Daddy and the baby, that's me," Mike said innocently.
Harvey nodded unable to form words and wishing he had the power to protect Mike from everything bad that he would ever face in life.
They got milkshakes and hotdogs and ate them on the way home.
"Daddy, this is the best day of my life," Mike said as took a long sip of the ends of his milkshake, sighing satisfied when no more would come up the straw.
Harvey nodded, unable to tell Mike about what was coming next but knowing he would have to.
When the clock started drawing closer and closer to five, Harvey sighed reluctantly. He sat down on the couch and pulled Mike up onto his lap hugging him. He hadn't held Mike like this in a while and it didn't feel like enough now. Mike looked up at him, and Harvey knew, he knew something was up. Mike was too bright for his own good.
"Hey buddy, I have something really important to tell you okay? I need you to pay attention and listen to what I have to say," Harvey began to explain.
"Okay," Mike said looking up at his dad patiently.
"Your Mummy, Grammy's daughter, Nina, remember you saw her last weekend with her new husband James. Well she wants you to go live with her and James and you can see me most weekends. Three Fridays, Saturdays and Sundays of the month. Which will be good," Harvey said more trying to convince himself than Mike.
"I don't want to go. I want to stay with you, Daddy," Mike started to cry.
"I know bud. This will be the best thing though, you'll see. You will have a Mummy and she'll have more time to do things with just you, that I can't do. You'll be happy, Mike. I promise you'll be happy," Harvey insisted.
"Why, Daddy? Why? What did I do wrong?" Mike insisted, tears flowing free.
Harvey's didn't think his heart could break anymore but it did.
"You did nothing, Mike. Nothing. Your Mummy, she really wants you and I want you too but I don't have all time she does to spend with you," Harvey thought this was better than telling the truth. He didn't want Mike to be angry with the person he would be living with for most of his life.
"I don't want to," he said stamping down his foot just as a knock sounded on the door.
Harvey answered the door reluctantly. Nina stood there beside James. James looked uncomfortable, almost as if he wished he were anywhere else in the world and Harvey didn't blame him.
"Where's Michael?" She asked.
"I'll get him," he sighed.
"Mikey, your Mummy is here," Harvey said, trying to sound happy and enthusiastic about the situation.
"Noooo," he screamed.
"Michael, please. Be a big boy, be brave." Harvey insisted.
"I hate you, I hate you, I hate you," he screamed over and over. His sadness began to turn into anger.
They walked over to the door Mike's face was red and patchy from crying. The tears came more forcefully, unable to hide any of them. His dad pulled him in for a tight bear hug, not wanting to let him go. He kissed his cheek and ruffled his hair.
"Don't worry Mike. I'll see you in two days, okay?" Harvey said reassuring him.
Mike didn't answer refusing to remove his hands from around Harvey's neck. Nina tried to coax him away but he wouldn't move. Harvey finally sighed and pushed him away. He handed a bag he had packed for Mike to James, silently.
"I love you, Mike," Harvey said to his son.
"I take it back, this is the worse day of my life," Mike said tears no longer flowing free, as he followed Nina reluctantly.
Harvey stood in the hallway watching until he was sure they were probably in the car and driving away before sliding down against the back of the door and crying for the first time since his father died.
Hope you enjoyed. Please review and let me know x