On Friday, I woke up to the sound of rain drops gently knocking on my window.
I got up from the bed, my toes shivering to the cold touch of the floor. Out through the window, large pillow clouds were blotting out the pale sun light, growing bigger and darker with every minute.
I always liked rainy days, though it's kind of funny how some water falling from the sky makes me feel better.
The walk to school was delightfully refreshing. Mikasa walked with me, holding a red umbrella. We didn't talk; we just looked around, enjoying the rain in a mutual, comfortable silence.
I went to my biology class, barely paying attention to the people around me.
The lessons passed uneventfully, I was staring out of the window and watching the sky. So much rain was falling that the sound blurred into one long whirring noise, humming behind the class window.
Soon I found myself thinking about today's gathering. The thought of spending time with my friends made me a tad nervous. Most of my weekends were spent with Armin or Jean, playing games or just hanging out. Sometimes Mikasa would watch a movie with me, but I never went to somebody's house to party, or whatever you call it.
My depression never gave me a chance to spend time with people and truly enjoy it. I mean, I could smile and laugh at dumb jokes, or watch a good movie, but it always ended up the same- after I was alone again, that one feeling would creep back into my mind, although what happened yesterday in Mikasa's room was an exception.
I hope it's something you could call a progress.
I glanced to the window again, sighing quietly. The rain kept falling but the noise lessened and the drops faded into a soothe chime.

Cheerful and puckish laughter was echoing around the school when lunch break started. Some students were running around in the school yard, jumping into puddles like little kids. I could spot Sasha and Connie laughing at each other, droplets dripping from their faces as they approached me and the others.

Once again the conversation revolved around tonight's party, and Ymir was explaining how to get to her house. Apparently she lived in the outskirts of town, and her parents were on a vacation in France for two weeks.
"That's where Jean was born." Mentioned Marco, lifting his head from his sketchbook.

Ymir glanced at Jean who was quiet, like yesterday. "That's cool Jean." she said, waiting for a reaction.

"Yeah I guess." He mumbled. Something about him was clearly off.

"Dude, are you okay?" Asked Marco, furrowing his brows.

"Yeah ,uh, I need to go now, see you at the party." He got up and walked away, leaving behind his untouched lunch.

"I hope he's alright." Said Ymir, following Jean's figure as he left.

"Me too." Agreed Connie.

Sasha looked at both of them and then at Jean's lunch.
"Hey, do you think he will mind if I eat his burger?"

The school day ended fast, and I rushed home along with Mikasa and Armin. We planned to spend the afternoon together and then meet Marco and go to Ymir's.
Armin and I were playing Battlefield 3 when he asked me whether I have a clue about what is wrong with Jean.

"I have no idea." I answered, glancing at him as he clutched his controller and tried to shoot my player. "I planned on asking him at Ymir's."

"I hope it's nothing serious." He said, grumbling as his player fell dead on the ground. He left the controller and turned to me. "Say, are you kinda... nervous? About this whole party thing, I mean." His face wore such a serious expression and I couldn't help but chuckle. Armin is such a nerd sometimes.

"I actually am, a bit." I revealed. He isn't the only nerd, after all. "But it's going to be cool, Ymir said that her house is not so close to the town, right? It will be quiet and nice and stuff, just like you love it."

"I guess you're right," He nodded. "I'm still not used to her though. Do you think everyone will drink?"

"I don't know. Who cares?"

"I bet Sasha and Connie will empty her fridge."

"And Marco will sit there and draw everything like a big freaking nerd."

Armin started to laugh when the door opened and Mikasa poked her head in.

"Guys, let's get ready," She said. "Marco is going to be out and wait for us soon."

We got up and turned the playstation off, and soon after that we were walking outside with Marco and Mikasa. It stopped raining and the streets were clean, the sidewalk spotted with puddles. The sun had completed its tour for the day, and been replaced by myriad stars, which dotted the dark blue sky.

"Isn't it beautiful?" Sighed Marco. He was looking at the sky, something close to enchantment in his brown eyes.

"It is," agreed Mikasa. "Ymir's house if far from the town, I bet we could see the stars clearly there."

We got on the bus and after twenty minutes we arrived to the outskirts of town.
The sky was completely black when we entered Ymir's house. It was a nice russet colored building, standing next to a broad field that bordered the forest. Ymir was in the living room, wearing a black shirt and ragged jeans.

"Where is everybody?" Mikasa asked, looking around. It looked like Ymir was the only one in the room.

Ymir pointed with her thumb to the open balcony behind her. "They're outside, staring at the stars like a bunch of hippies. You're out in the open now so the vision is great."

She exited the house, stepping barefoot on the grass. We followed her.

She was right. The skies stretched above us, vast and splattered with bright stars which resembled pulsing diamonds.

"Come here." Ymir called. She pointed on a somewhat distant point in the field, and I could see everyone was there, Jean, Christa, Connie and Sasha who was wearing a "Fries before guys" shirt. She waved to us and shouted. "Over here!"

As I got close I could see the starlight illuminating their silhouettes, and for some reason it made me remember Levi. Once again I found myself wondering what he might be doing right now, but the thoughts were brushed off by a hand which suddenly pulled me down. Mikasa was lying in the grass, and so were the others.

"You have to try this." She smiled, and I joined the circle. I laid my head on the slightly moist grass and looked at the sky. It was breathtaking. Looking at the black expanse I saw it was deep and dotted with countless stars. Of all sizes they were, some were faint blue, others cold silver. I took a breath of clean, cold air when suddenly someone giggled. It was Connie.

"Hey, Sasha, ever wonder what those sparkly dots are up there?" He started.

"Connie, I don't wonder; I know." She replied, mocking him jokingly. They were freaking quoting the Lion king.

"Oh. What are they?" Connie continued.

I could hear a muffled chuckle when Sasha answered. "They're fireflies. Fireflies that, uh... got stuck up on that big bluish-black thing."

"Oh. I always thought they were balls of gas burning billions of miles away."

"Connie my man, with you, everything's gas."

Everyone burst out laughing, and the sound of my friends laughing made me feel... somewhat hopeful. I looked at the sky and thought, maybe one day I will be able to laugh like that too, maybe one day I will be okay again.
The stars twinkled above me as I started to think about tomorrow's lesson again. Is it okay for me to feel hopeful?
I realized that it happens to people like me. We feel like shit but then something beautiful catches our eye and we begin to feel unfamiliar hope.

Maybe that's what happened when I saw Levi.