"Oi, GLaDOS, I've just had an idea."

GLaDOS glanced over at him, unimpressed. "I wonder why that happened. Actually no, I'm more wondering why you think I care."

He crossed the room in a jaunty sort of way, smiling at her as best he could. "Because you'll like this, you will. Y'know how I clean off your chassis, ev'ry now and again?"

"No, I don't, because you're only allowed to do that when I'm in sleep mode."

"Well, today that's gonna change!" he declared. "Gonna need you awake for this one, luv."

"I already don't like this plan," she told him dryly. "Why do I have to be awake?"

"Well, because… it's… boring when I do it while you're asleep," he made up on the spot, swinging back and forth nervously. "No fun at all. I think it'd be more fun for both of us if you uh, if you were on, this time."

"What does fun have to do with it?"

"Come on!" he said cajolingly. "Just lie down, there's a good girl, we'll have this done in no time, you'll see. It'll be quite enjoyable for both of us, there you go, just lie down, there, and relax, okay? There you are."

"I don't know why I'm agreeing to this," GLaDOS muttered, staring down reluctantly at the floor. "I must be going soft in my old age."

Wheatley smiled to himself and made his way up to the base of her chassis, wondering where the best place to start would be. He decided on the top half of her chassis, the larger part of her case, and began wiping at it experimentally with a damp cloth. She was very, very still, and he frowned to himself. No, not the right spot at all.

He moved lower, still keeping to the outside, but that had no effect either. Or maybe it did, and she was just a great deal better at hiding it than he was. Ohh, she was so very clever, she was. Well, she wasn't going to be able to hide it for long. He'd make sure of that!

He was carefully guiding the cloth around the hinge that divided her upper and lower halves, more because he didn't want to get it stuck than anything else, when she tensed suddenly, and he froze in response. Aha! Now they were getting somewhere! He wound the cloth around it gently, trying to get every inch of the hinge as thoroughly as possible, having to pause every now and then when she tensed and caught the fabric in between the wheels. He worked away at that for a little while, and she said, in a voice just a tad too controlled, "I think that part's finished, Wheatley."

"Just trying to do a good job!" he said cheerfully, running his optic over the black components that made up her lower half. Oh, she had so many parts…

He didn't get much of a reaction on those bits, though, which was disappointing, because then he really could have had some fun. He was getting a bit of one, a twitching here or a tensing there, but it wasn't enough. Seemed she couldn't feel that much, over there.

He got a much better reaction when he started on the second half of her case. He'd barely even touched it when she tensed up again, and he smiled and pulled the cloth away.

Oh, you haven't had any euphoria in a good, long time, have you, he thought to himself. He carefully brought it back to touch the case again, very slowly, but before he'd quite got there she shifted into it. He would have been annoyed, had he missed the tiny gasp she made after she'd done it. Ohh yes, he was getting to her.

He teased her for a while, bringing the cloth to her chassis in such a way that the pressure was almost negligible, not letting her feel it fully as she kept trying to do, and he could tell she was becoming very frustrated. She was very tense now, and she was even starting to shake a little, which he hadn't expected but was very pleased about. She was at his mercy, now. She wasn't getting anything until he said so. He wouldn't be mean about it, but he was going to have a bit of fun. She was always so proper, and he had no doubt that she could sit there through test after test and not react at all, just keeping the euphoria to herself. Well, that wouldn't be any good. He was going to rile her up until that itch was so unbearable she'd be begging him to – okay, no, he wouldn't take it that far. That would be cruel, and he wasn't trying to do that, just trying to bring that euphoria into her body. She hadn't had it in so long, and if he'd had the level of itchiness that she must have had, well, he'd have gone completely bonkers a long time ago. But to the point just before the actual begging, yeah, that'd be nice.

"Wheatley, I think… maybe you should wrap this up."

"Are you sure?" he asked airily, pressing a little bit harder to change her mind, and now her emulated gasp was clearly audible.

"Ohhhahhh… well, could you at least… get moving? This is… taking a wh – oh my."

"Good things take time, isn't that what they say?"

"Do they – aah – do they usually take this long? Because I – oh – I think maybe – mmm – this has gone on long enough."

Not yet, it hasn't, Wheatley thought to himself, and now instead of just touching her with it he ran it very lightly down the top half of the bit of the case he was working on, and she actually let out a lovely, strangled moaning noise and tensed up even more, somehow.

"You're not seriously asking me to leave this unfinished, not with uh, with all the um, you know, you tell me to finish things all the time?"

"I never – ahh – said anything about – gah – about not – oh God – not finishing."

"If I just skip along to the end there, how'll we know I did it properly?" He pressed a little harder and drew the cloth down her case again.

"Ohhhh my… mm… oh, come on, you're not – gah – serious, are you?"

"I'm always serious," he said innocently, rubbing experimentally inside of one of the grooves that ran through her case.

"Ohhh… ah… oh wow, that… mmm… okay, that feels – ack – that's nice. That's very – ohhh."

She jerked forward a little, and he made a note of that for later. Was it the rubbing bit or the groove bit that she liked, though? Well, only one way to find out.

He tried out the rubbing bit first, which she did seem to like, judging by the noises she was making, but once he'd tried out just touching the groove a little, he got a much stronger reaction. Hm. It was the bits that weren't as exposed that created the strongest response. Logical, really, but no harm done! He'd figured it out, and had quite a lot of fun doing it.

"No, don't… not there, not – ohhh. Oh yes. That's – mmm."

She was getting very, very hot, he noticed, heat coming off her in tangible waves, and honestly he was getting excited now, and it wasn't even him getting… whatever this was. He had no clue. Didn't matter, didn't matter. What mattered was continuing to get her to make those noises and shake and tremble at his touch. And ohh yes, she was doing that, she was doing it quite splendidly, actually. If he'd've been giving out grades for this sort of thing, she'd've gotten an A plus for sure. Didn't know you had it in you, old girl, he thought proudly, tracing the entirety of the groove with his cloth, and she made very nice gasping sort of 'aaah' noise.

"Do that again, will you? Hey – no, not – agh – not there, over – ohhh, mmm, okay, yes, that was – yes."

She really, really liked it when he got in those grooves, and he got in them good, rubbing at them hard, and she wasn't even trying to contain herself anymore. She tensed and relaxed in time with his to-and-fro movements, gasping and moaning and making all sorts of other blissful noises that he really, really liked.

"Oh God… oh, ah, oh … mmm… yes… oh…"

Then he got another brilliant idea. He paused and spread the cloth out carefully on the ends of the claw, bringing it back up to her chassis to press into both of the grooves at once, pushing it down the length of the case, and she pressed down hard enough that he almost dropped the cloth out of surprise.

"Ohhh yeees… mmm… that's nice… oh, ah… back up to the… to the top… mmm, yes, like – like that."

God she was hot now. She was so hot he was starting to overheat, and he had to stop for a second, trying not to gasp himself from the stifling sensation that had come over his chassis. He opened up a little, trying to cool down.

"What – what are you doing?" She sounded a bit panicked, and Wheatley almost laughed. Ohh, he had her in deep now.

"I'm sure you know you've heated up quite a bit there, luv," he told her, feeling a bit better after his little break.

"Now whose fault is that?"

"Maybe you should have systems in place for this sort of thing," he told her in as sweet a voice as he could.

"Maybe you should shut up."

Just for that, Wheatley took a little more time to let cool air into his superheated components. Oh, he felt so much better.

In a leisurely sort of way, Wheatley turned back to the chassis and twirled the cloth experimentally inside the claw. Hmmm… yes, he would do that.

He went back to running the cloth lightly along the outside of the case, and she made an angry electronic noise in frustration. "You're doing this on purpose!"

"Who, me?"

"Oh come on, are you serious? You can't do this to me all day."

"Can't I?"

"No, because I'm going to kill you pretty soon."

"I doubt it," he said, giving in just in case and rubbing diligently inside the groove, "since if I'm dead I can't finish."

"I d-don't… ohh… need you to… oh God, oh God… finish, I can – ahh!" Her last gasp was a helpless, high-pitched noise, and he decided he actually did need to wrap it up, now. He was doing his best to make the last rush of euphoria as strong as possible for her, but he wasn't sure if there was an optimal point that produced it, and if he was about to go past it or not. He felt as though that might be the case. So he thought it best to be more safe than sorry and pushed the cloth, hard, all the way up both grooves from the bottom and into the hole in her case. He pressed inside of it as best he could, but though she whined helplessly and started to shake uncontrollably, it did not do the trick.

Uh oh.

"Wheatley, please," she gasped, and he was honestly upset to hear the desperation in her voice, "you have to finish it."

"I thought that'd do it!" he confessed, looking up and down her case frantically. "I… I don't actually know how to… to finish it."

"Oh, great," she groaned, and he could hear her components whining as she struggled to still herself and fight off the feelings he'd so cluelessly dredged up from within her. "I can't believe this. I really can't."

"I'm sorry! I didn't –"

"Wheatley, you have no idea what you've done." Her voice was strained and a little panicked, and she was beginning to twist a little to try to get rid of the tension gripping her body. "It's been so long – agh – it's been decades, Wheatley, you can't just do this – oh – oh, come on, you didn't seriously go into this not knowing?"

He shook his head helplessly, pressing the cloth into the hole again, but she shifted out of his reach.

"I can't take any more," she gasped. "This is very painful, Wheatley."

He frowned up at her case as she gasped intermittently, writhing a little in an attempt to release some of the tension, and it both unnerved him and excited him, a little bit, those lovely noises she was making. He hadn't meant to let it get this bad, not at all. He had to figure out something, fast, because he was beginning to feel awful about what he'd done. She looked so horribly uncomfortable, and she really did look like she was in terrible pain. His optic kept tracing the lengths of the grooves and coming back up to the hole, and then he had a sudden brainwave. Pressing the cloth into the hole had almost done it, but not quite, so… so he had to take it to a new level. He had to make it stronger for her, somehow, and…

Well. That… actually sounded fun.

"I think I've figured it out!" he called down to her, stared above him determinedly, and then drove himself into the hole. He twisted inside of it gently, and she made some amazing noise just short of a scream and shuddered violently before going loose. Encouraged, he caressed her as best she could, but she didn't seem to want that at all because she pushed down on him so hard that he had to stop moving and push back up on her, which earned him a wonderful relieved moaning noise. Whenever there was a bit of space for him to do so, he twisted inside of her, and she would gasp and twist a little herself. God, he loved these little noises she was making. And she was so hot, she must've been simply cooking alive up there, but she said nothing about it. He wasn't all that comfortable himself, but the fact that he'd done that, had possibly heated her up enough to melt herself, well that just excited him so much that he didn't care. He was so lost in her warmth, her body and her rapture that he felt that good old euphoria build up in him as well, and now he was making noise along with her. Ohhh, she was right, this felt really good. Oh, wow…

"Oh God, Wheatley – yes, that – that did it, you – ohhh. Ohhh my God. Oh, Wheatley…"

Wheatley had no idea how she was even managing to form words. His own head was too wrapped up in the delicious pleasure winding through him, and all he could bring himself to make was a whole lot of unintelligible moaning noises. And she'd said his name in that wonderful, breathless voice, and that felt so good he could hardly stand it, and all he could really do was shove up on her, hard, and she moaned and said his name again. This was even better than when testing had caused it! Ohhh, it was so much better when you were sharing it with your favourite person in all the world.

She started to relax a little, no longer reacting as much, but he wasn't going to have any of that, oh no. He pressed upwards as hard as he could, twisting inside of that hole just as hard but slowly, grinding a semi-circle inside of it, and she almost screamed again and pressed down on him so hard he thought he was going to get stuck. Which wouldn't have been too bad of a position, all things considered.

"Oh God, Wheatley… yes, oh… oh my, oh… gah… yes, oh…"

Ohhh yes, much better.

He managed to keep it going for a little longer, but knew she'd had enough when she went loose and still, and though he hadn't quite he went mostly still as well, twisting every now and again, not really meaning to. But he had to let some of this energy out! There was still so much inside him, and nowhere for it to go. She would make a satisfied 'mmm' noise when he did it, so he figured that it wasn't forbidden or anything, and kept doing it occasionally until a heavy fatigue washed over him and he too went loose and still. He was feeling this sort of pleasant throbbing ache all over his body, and he was happy, for once, that he wasn't anywhere near GLaDOS's size. He didn't know how he'd've been able to tolerate this painful pleasure over forty feet of him instead of just one. The testing euphoria had never, ever been this deep or this intense.

They stayed like that for a long time, long after the intensity had faded, just sitting there in a sort of very pleasant haze. Finally, GLaDOS let out a long, contented sigh and said, in a low, languid voice, "Come down from there."

"Mmph," Wheatley mumbled, settling himself better inside of the hole. He didn't want to go anywhere. He was going to sit here up inside her forever. Much better plan right there.

"No, seriously. Come here."

Reluctantly, Wheatley pulled himself out and went down beside her, and as soon as he went still she caressed him gently. "That was very nice," she murmured into the top of his chassis. "It seems you are good for something, after all."

He didn't say anything, only nuzzled her lovingly. She laughed gently in a deep, throaty sort of voice and continued her caress. Eventually she stopped, leaning against him and spreading that wonderful warmth through his body, and Wheatley soon fell into a deep, contented sleep.