A/N - The other night, me and Molly were watching the episode in which Amy gives Penny the big, ugly painting - and she mentioned, 'I wonder what Leonard's reaction was' … so I wrote it. It was fun. Because they'd only just re-started the relationship but I can't image Leonard thinking she looked good in it at all, ha! Hope you all enjoy :)
"Hey honey, I picked up the takeaw- holy crap." Leonard stopped dead as he looked up from the small bowl into which he'd just placed his keys, beside the bag of takeaway he'd placed down on the surface.
Hanging on the wall which had previously been bare was the largest painting he had even seen in real life. A painting of Amy and Penny. Well, he guessed it was Penny; otherwise it wouldn't be hanging on her wall. He wondered if it was wrong to think his girlfriend looked like a man in the painting. And that if it was bad that that had been his first thought. He had seen her dressed up to the nines, and he had seen her sick and unrested, and everything in between. But she'd always been attractive. In this painting, attractive didn't really come to mind. Masculine and creepy, on the other hand, did. Well, this would certainly teach the guys who used to bully him in school that he definitely wasn't gay. Even firmly reminding himself that it was Penny in the painting, and that real life Penny was attractive, didn't help make the painting any better.
"Sorry sweetie I was just-" Penny froze as she saw Leonard staring at the picture. "Oh my God, do not even start."
"You look-"
"Do not even-" Penny rushed over to him, stopping next to him and wincing as she took in the painting for... well, she'd looked at it one too many times already. "It's..."
"It's... it's really big." Leonard managed to get out, not sure if he wanted to laugh or beg her to take it down. "Your face is... Amy is... that is one big painting."
"I know. It's huge." Penny bit on her lip, scrunching her nose. "Who even makes paintings that big! It should be illegal! How did Amy even find someone who'd do this?!"
Nodding in agreement, Leonard turned to look at Penny, who looked halfway between sobbing and hysteria, before back to the painting. "Umm... yeah. It's definitely big." He tilted his head. "And you look like-"
Penny's head snapped to look at him. "Don't!" She warned, her brows dangerously high. After a few seconds, she relaxed slightly, linking her arm with his as she too, tilted her head. "Leonard?"
"Yeah?"
"It's not that bad, is it? I mean... do I look... am I overreacting?"
Hesitating, Leonard turned to look at his girlfriend. "I'm not sure what answer you're looking for." He said, truthfully.
With a sigh, Penny's face dropped slightly and she reluctantly told him, "the honest answer."
Looking back at the picture, he studied it for a moment, trying to find a way to say it without sounding so harsh. After a few seconds, he realized that wasn't possible. He turned back to her. "Honestly? Honestly whoever that blonde is in the painting, is definitely not my girlfriend, but also definitely looks like a man. I'm sorry." He added the last part quickly, as though it was going to make any difference.
"Ugh, I knew it!" Penny threw her head back in exasperation. "I have a giant painting in which I look like a man that I can't take down because it will offend Amy but every time I look at it I want to cry!"
"Well, it's-"
"And my boyfriend thinks I look like a man!" Penny half-sobbed, half-whined.
"If it helps, just to clarify, I only think the person in the painting looks like a man. You don't look like a man."
"But it's a painting of me! Amy looks like... like Amy, and then there's me looking like I just had a botched up sex change!" There was silence for a moment, before she turned to look at him again. "You're not even disagreeing!"
"I really want to say that you don't..." Leonard paused, looking once more from the picture to Penny, "but I can't. However, I think it's important to point out that it's only the painting that makes you look like a man. You, Penny, look beautiful and nothing like a man."
Just him calling her beautiful brought a smile to her face. "Aww." She turned her body to face him. "That's sweet. But I still look like a man in the painting."
"Yeah. You do. But you don't in real life. Just in that... that giant painting. Which looms over the entire apartment."
Penny shuddered. "Forever."
"Here."
Leonard stepped towards the painting, extending his arms to either side before grabbing the frame and hitching it off the wall. He carried it around the room, placing it down behind the couch. Penny felt a shudder run through her body that had nothing to do with the weather and a lot to do with the muscles at work beneath those layers of his.
"You okay?" Leonard asked, noticing her staring.
"Huh?" Penny blinked. "Yeah, yeah, I am great. Thank you for taking the painting down." Clearing her throat, she tore her eyes away from his arms. "So, uh, you'll have to put that back up for the next time Amy's here."
"I know. But, no offence, I don't want that painting to be looking at us while we eat."
"Yeah, no, I agree. As long as you're going to put it back up."
"I'm sure you're strong enough to do it yourself, Miss Nebraskan Man-Hands." Leonard chuckled.
"Okay, all man-hands jokes are temporarily banned because of the painting in which I look like a man." Penny glared at him for a moment, before smiling as she returned to her original point: his muscles. And the painting. But mainly, his arms. "And I could, but, I'll probably be doing it so much for when she does her spontaneous visits, I don't want to tire my arms out. Besides, it's the boyfriends job to be masculine, duh."
"Alright..." Leonard raised a brow. "Well, let me know, and I'll come over and do it for you."
"Perfect." Penny grinned. "Alright then, Mr., let's eat."