Three humans chattered non-stop as they loaded their car with boxes of all shapes and sizes. Packing for a vacation is always a chore, especially when the kid has so many knick-knacks and toys to stuff into a case.

"Did you remember the snake?" the tall human asked the smallest, causing the baseball-capped juvenile to huff and back into the home, reappearing moments later with a much-too-tiny vivarium containing one very confused ball python. It was an unfortunate creature with bright green scales patterned with darker crossbands along it's length. It was rather small for it's species, perhaps even concerning so, yet the glass shelter was still far too small. The snake knew for a fact that the humans were leaving for a few days but didn't really know why HE was coming.

Stacked precariously on top of an indigo suitcase in the very back of the car, the python licked at the air, tasting sunblock, a new book that the female human planned on reading for the long drive, and a cockroach that had died in his water dish.

As the yellow beast burst into life, the snake was forced to lay his head down on the rocky floor of his vivarium to prevent himself from being tossed around by the sudden activity. The door to the back of the car smacked curiously against it's chassis. The humans should get that lock fixed.

As he was trying to deduce what exactly the humans were doing with him, the words "drop it off" and "getting too big for you (the small human)" painted the whole picture. The serpent shook his head in an almost tired manner, it was just like the other families. Even his very first memory was being picked out at a funfair as a very strange prize, only to be dropped off at a pet store the very next day. Same old same old.

No use in mourning the loss of his humans now, he should practice his newest persona for the next owner. Luckily the small human had let him use (read; mutilate) a pair of Barbie dolls as "friends", although ever since Ken was crushed into oblivion in a re-enactment of "Macbeth" he only had the torso and right arm of Barbie to work with. Of course the humans at least let him keep the shirt the doll was wearing. Fit him like a charm save for the sleeves.

Sticking his head out of the glass case, he looked out at the landscape surrounding the car. A large expanse of desert and burning sand caught his eye, zooming past the windows like a photo. Not thinking much of it, the python curled back into his vivarium where the sunlight couldn't blind him.

Deciding what play he should do, the python set up his props and tied the shirt around him like a cape. Doing some mouth and voice exercises he opened his make up performance with "Okay everybody. Let's take it from the top."

In the midst of a creative epiphany he failed to notice the human's car beep loudly and swerve to avoid an out of control SUV. It was only when the lock on the back door broke off and he suddenly seemed to be much father away from the humans, did the snake realise what had happened.

Lying on the dusty pavement staring at the sky, he blinked in shock as his "co-actors" slid next to him at the fringes of the fairly large and currently silent road. Thank what ever spirit for that shard of glass underneath him, for if it had broken or moved he would have surely been harmed.

The flapping noise of Mr Timms' tail snapped him out of his daze. "Mr Timms..." he muttered weakly as the water from his dish literally evaporated before his eyes. Either it had been absorbed into the ground or burnt away by the infernal sun.

Seeing was proving difficult as the snake's skin began to peel and crack over his eyes only after two minutes exposure to the arid air. As the two dead layers were blown away, the snake was left with fresh green scales that seemed to burn when facing the sun.

"Oy!" a voice called out from the road. Picking up his toy glass, the snake held it up to his eye to magnify the figure, promptly dropping it when he saw a rather flattened armadillo beckoning him to help him up.

Today was certainly going to be a hard first act of his new life.

/X\

Everything was so hot.

And he was not a serpent meant for the desert.

The python began to mumble nonsense as the heat and thirst affected his thoughts. The armadillo had pointed in a direction and told him to keep going until he found "Dirt". Stupid name for a town if you were to ask him. "Oasis" or "Town in the middle of Nowhere Nevada" sounded more fitting.

"Four score and..seven years ago...our fath-"

"Don't move."

The sudden demand caused the snake to jump in fright, looking around frantically for it's source, only for his eyes to fall onto a strangely human-like cactus. Thinking that it was only his dehydrated mind playing tricks on him; the snake attempted to slither away, only to hear a much more forceful:

"DON'T MOVE."

"Not moving!" the serpent yelped loudly, only to be shushed and replied with a whispered. "Not moving."

"Try to blend in."

"Wh-what do you mean?" He spotted an oddly shaped rock just a few feet away. Edging closer, he was taken aback by an eye opening and shutting with another demand of "blend in". "Wh-what are you saying?" the python asked before the shadow of a large bird flew overhead.

"Too late." the "rock" snickered.

"Nonononono! Not too late!" the snake panicked, tossing sand onto himself and slithering in circles until he smacked off a cactus. The "rock" yelled at him to "try not to look conspicuous".

As the bird did a turn towards the ground, instinct took over and he began curling himself into a ball so that it would have trouble getting at his head.

"Hey- hey what are you doing?" the "rock" asked confused as the snake continued to form into a ball.

"I'm blending in!"

"Go blend somewhere else!"

"It's an art not a science!" the two argued until the unmistakable screech of a red-tailed hawk rang out.

"Oh! Here she comes! You better run mojito!"

"I thought you said not to move!"

"That was before. Now, you run."

The snake screamed as the hawk flew down to catch him, slithering at a pace he never thought possible. The "rock" laughed darkly at him as he fled.

The hawk was so big compared to him. The ball python was so used to being the largest animal in the shop that he never really thought of anything other than dogs and humans being bigger than him but here he was; dwarfed by the avian predator behind him.

As he felt the nip of a metallic (metal? No use wondering right now) beak, the snake did both a brave and very dumb move. With a bounce and a twirl, he twisted his body around and wrapped as much as he could around the hawk's body. The hawk screeched, clearly not expecting her quarry to fight back in such a way. The bird quickly began thrashing as the force of the snake's measly muscles squeezing her made breathing difficult.

Thrown off, the snake was sure that he would be eaten, only for the bird to lose interest and grab a more familiar, much easier prey.

"YOU SON OF A-" the "rock" yelled as the hawk decided to grab him in favour of the tangling with the constricting snake.

The python sighed as the large shadow soon became but a dot in the sky. This is most certainly not a good first act.

/X\

A rattlesnake hissed as it dragged itself from it's hiding spot, tasting the hot, dry air.

He cringed as an unfamiliar taste caught his attention. It seemed very...alien to the sidewinder. It was unmistakably another reptile but not one he would be accustomed to. The rest of it was faint and cloying, almost like smoke or still air.

The pit viper threw himself back under the rock when he picked up the scent of a hawk. Awful creatures. He wouldn't admit it but he was terrified of the winged beasts. While everything else along the food chain was just either food or cannon fodder; the instinctual dread of flying beasts was still ingrained in his mind.

Metalbeak, as he and a few others had dubbed the female hawk, flew overhead with a toad in her talons. Strangely she looked winded, even tired. Unusual seeing how her metal additions made killing prey an easy task. She must have gotten into a fight with another hawk or even a larger animal.

The rattlesnake suddenly thought of the alien taste in the air. Whatever it was, it was more than likely the thing that roughed up Metalbeak.

Slithering cautiously away from his rock, the pit viper continued to follow the taste, occasionally finding disturbed sand and a few loose cactus quills.

His trail seemed to end by the human-made road where metal carriages rumbled "hrududu" away in both directions. A pile of shattered glass caught his attention along with a few plastic knick-knacks. Obviously whatever had suddenly stunk up the air was a pet.

The rattlesnake shook his head. Pets don't live long out here. Too ill-prepared, too fragile from years of being coddled and dotted on to survive.

But this pet was able to rough up a hawk. Hell knows how big or fearless the creature was. The trail of the mystery reptile continued well into the desert, in the direction of the town of Dirt.

The pit viper snickered darkly, either the beast was going to kill or be killed by the town's snake-fearing residents or just maybe be recruited by the shriveled old bastard of a tortoise sitting comfy in the town hall.

He hissed under his breath "Things just got a little more interesting."

After all, he wondered how the pet could match up to the feared Rattlesnake Jake.