BPOV

I sat there huddled on the floor, after another beating from my step-father. Wondering when it would all end. How much more could I take? I have no where else to go, my father passed away a few years ago. My mother doesn't care about me, never did. The only reason I live with her is because I'm still a minor, and she needed someone to cook and clean for her and Phil.

Tonight the beating was worse, I don't know how I'm going to cover the bruises enough to go to school. I guess another day of a dark sweatshirt and sunglasses.

How many more times can I say that I have a migraine?

Seriously Alice is already suspicious and wants me to see her father for my migraines. I guess that is the hazards of having a best friend, who's father is a doctor.

I think I can handle her tomorrow.

I'm worried about her brother, Edward though. He seems to watch me and I think he is figuring it out. Or at least he thinks he is.

I will just have to be careful tomorrow.

Sometimes I wish the pain would end, or that I could make it end.

I've stored up several bottles of my mom's sleeping pills. I'm just not sure how much it would take to do the job.

I could always cut my wrists.

But there's a chance of someone finding me and then I'd be left with a nasty scar that everyone would see and know what I tried to do.

There has to be a way to end this torture.

Finally I crawled into bed and sleep overtook me.

The next morning I awoke and got out of my bed.

Every bone in my body hurt, maybe I should call off of school.

No, I'm sure that would only earn me another beating and God knows I can't handle another one right now.

So I jumped in the shower and cleaned up.

Then I went to get dressed, I left my hair down and then threw on my sweatshirt and put my sunglasses on.

I knew that they were already gone, so I wouldn't have to deal with them until later.

I grabbed my backpack and headed downstairs.

Once in the kitchen I grabbed a granola bar and a glass of milk.

Laying on the table was a note from my mom.

Bella, Phil and I will be gone tonight. Left you money for pizza. See you tomorrow night.-Mom.

Awesome, no beating tonight for whatever I might do.

I put the money in my pocket and went out the front door.

Today might just be a good day, I thought as I walked to my car.

But I won't get too happy about it.

Since I have to spend most of the day in school, but I do get to sit next to Alice's brother in bio and that is awesome. Even though we don't talk much, but he does acknowledge my existence and we work well together on the assignments.

Oh well, another day at Forks High School.

I pulled into my parking spot and grabbed my backpack as Alice came running up to me.

"Bella, another headache?" she asked while sighing.

"Yeah, they just won't leave me alone," I said shrugging my shoulders.

"That's three in one week, I think you should go and see my dad."

"No, it'll be fine. I'm taking some medicine for them and they don't last that long anyway. Don't worry Ali."

"You're my best friend and I get to worry about you," she said as she smiled at me.

"Okay, you win that one. So how's Jasper?"

"Good, you should so go on a double date with us sometime."

"Yeah and who would be my date?" I asked, half afraid to hear her answer.

"My brother of course."

"Yeah right and what have you been drinking so early in the morning?"

"Nothing, I think you'd be perfect for him," she said as he walked by us.

"Hey Bella," he said as he passed by.

I smiled at him.

"See, he didn't even notice me standing right beside you," she giggled.

"Yeah whatever, Ali."

We walked to class as we talked.

"Would you go if I got him to ask you?"

"What?" I shrieked.

"If I got my brother to ask you out on a date, would you go?"

"Alice that will never happen so I refuse to answer that."

"You so would and I know it."

"Whatever," I said as we passed kids that were handing out flyers for the teen suicide line.

Alice crumpled hers up, but I stuffed mine in my backpack.

Walking into Bio, Edward was already at our table.

Tanya was leaning next to him but he was doing his best to ignore hier.

"Good Morning Bella, I hope you are ready for the quiz today," he said as he looked down at his notes.

"Eddie-kins, why do you even bother talking to her. She's such a nobody," Tanya sneered as she looked at me.

"Tanya, go back to your seat. I don't like you hanging on me and my name is Edward, not Eddie-kins," he said as he pushed her off the corner of the desk.

"Hmph.. whatever," Tanya huffed as she walked away.

"Bella, I'm sorry about that," he said as he turned to look at me.

"It's okay, that's how everyone treats me," I said looking over at him.

"They shouldn't," he said as Mr. Banner came in the room.

He started to hand out the quizzes and then he said that when we were done, we could read the next chapter and answer the questions.

I finished my quiz a few minutes before for Edward did.

I slowly got up from my chair, my back hurt a lot from where Phil kicked me.

I must have whimpered or something since Edward looked at me.

I just smiled and walked up to give Mr. Banner my paper.

Once I sat back down, I noticed a piece of paper laying there in Edward's handwriting.

"Are you okay? "

I looked over at him and said that I was fine.

"If you ever need to talk, I'm here."

I nodded as the bell rang.

The next classes flew by and it was time for lunch.

I sat under the apple tree and read over some poems I wrote.

One in particular seemed to fit my mood today and it sums up how I totally feel about my life. But it's also one that I have never shared with anyone.

If someone else read it they would know that sometimes I think about suicide.

Darkness

I sit alone and watch as the blood

drips from my wrist.

Each drop of blood represents

a hurtful word spoken.

Words of hate,

words of anger pierce the skin.

Creating minute holes along the skin.

Blood slowly trickles down my arm.

Why do words hurt so a bad?

When will darkness come

and take me away from all this pain?

I folded the paper and stuck it in my notebook.

I looked at my wrist and wondered what it would feel like to watch the blood drip down my arm. How long would it take before darkness overtook me?

These are the many things that I think about.

I saw Alice walking with Rosalie, sometimes I wish could just sit with them like "normal" people do, but I'm better off alone.

Alice waved and I waved back, but I don't feel that I can go over and sit with them. Even though they are my friends.

I go back to doodling on my paper, and I felt someone sit down next to me.

Peering up from my paper, I saw Edward sitting there.

I quickly looked back down.

"Hey there," he said with his trademark smirk.

"Hey," I mumbled.

"Why do you like to sit all alone?"

"I just like to. Why are you over here instead of with them?" I motioned to his friends that were looking this way.

"I wanted to talk to you and I hate seeing you alone," he said as he nudged my shoulder.

"Oh, aren't you worried that they will say something about you hanging out with me?"

"No, I don't give a shit about what they think. I do whatever I want to do," he said a bit defensively.

"Oh," I said as I looked back at my notebook.

"Do you want some?" he said holding out a bag of Pretzel m and m's.

"Sure," I said as I held out my hand.

He put some in my hand.

"Thank you," I said quietly.

"Your welcome, these are so good," he said as he popped a few in his mouth.

I could feel Tanya's eyes on us and I was starting to feel very uncomfortable.

"I should go," I said as I scrambled to get up.

He reached out his hand and placed it on my elbow.

"Bella, don't let her intimidate you. She doesn't interest me. I want to be over here with you. Please don't run off," he said imploring me with his eyes to stay.

I dropped my gaze - I don't know what to say to him or understand why he wants to sit with me.

"So, what do you like to do for fun?" he asked.

"Nothing, why do you care?"

"Don't be upset, I was just curious."

"Sorry," I mumbled. "People don't really ask me questions."

"I'm sure my sister asks you plenty of questions."

He had me flustered with his directness, "Well strangers don't ask me questions."

He puts on a fake frown, "Hey, I'm not a stranger."

I hid my smile behind my hand.

He pushed his shoulder against mine, "I see that smile, admit it, you're having fun with me."

"I am," I said quietly as Tanya walked over to us.

Edward groaned when he saw her.

"Eddie-kins, why are you sitting over here all alone?" she asked him.

"I'm not alone I'm here with Bella and please don't call me that ridiculous name."

I pulled my hoodie down further over my face, wanting to hide away more than before.

"She's nobody, why waste your time with her."

"Don't talk about her like she's not a person! I would rather hang out with her than you."

I started to get up to leave, but he grabbed my hand, "Don't go anywhere."

"I don't want to be alone with you, Tanya, when are you going to get that?"

"This isn't over," she huffed as she stared at me. "See ya around Bella."

I ducked my head down and didn't move.

"Don't let her rattle you, she's wrong you know?"

"About what?"

"About being nobody," he said.

To my surprise I felt his hand touch my chin, nudging my face upwards to meet his eyes, "You are somebody, Bella - you are."

"You don't know me."

"I want to."

"Why?"

"You're smart and pretty and I think fun if you would let yourself have some."

I dropped my gaze to my lap again, as I heard the bell ring.

I got up quickly and walked off without a word.