Disclaimer: The Tomorrow People is the property of the CW. No copyright infringement is intended.

~ X ~

John picked up the tiny screwdriver and delicately inserted the board into the slot. He heard the slight displacement of air caused by a mediocre teleporter. He placed the screwdriver down and slipped his hand under the papers on the kitchen table, jumping up and whipping around to confront a startled Russell with a pistol.

"Wow, John . . . No . . . It's me." Russell put both hands in the air, protesting loudly.

John took a deep breath and then relaxed, slipping the pistol back under the heap of papers.

"You make too much noise when you teleport." His comment was made with the air of an instructor lecturing a pupil.

"And I think I just soiled my pants, man." Russell grimaced as he checked himself, front and back. "Not cool."

"How did you find me?" John, hands on hips, demanded.

"Stephen." Russell, seeing John's disgruntled expression, was quick to defend him. "Don't blame him. We begged . . . We need you, man."

John sighed and sat back down. "I thought I heard two of you."

He waited and sure enough Cara quietly walked in from the living room. "Hello, John."

"You shouldn't be here. You're putting us in jeopardy. We've been in this place for four months now and managed to stay below the radar."

"You look good, John." Cara looked him over closely. "I've never seen you with a tan before."

"Yeah, well it's tough to tan when you live in an underground subway station." He paused and added sarcastically, "Guess I should thank you for throwing me out. Got to see the world above again."

Russell had the grace to look embarrassed while Cara maintained her composure. "John . . "

"What are they doing here?" Astrid coolly asked leaning against the doorframe. She had quietly followed Cara into the kitchen.

John turned to her. "Hmmm. Seems Stephen told them. Now since only you and I knew where we were, and I didn't tell him, I think that narrows the field down."

Astrid switched her gaze to John, and a huge smile lit her face. She raised one hand. "Guilty! You know we keep in touch."

John smiled back at her, and it was obvious to everyone that he wasn't really upset with her.

Cara's face stiffened when he directed that smile at Astrid. There was a time when he smiled at her that way. Back in the days when he was the leader, and she would cross him. He always forgave and always with a smile that showed how much she meant to him.

"This is Tomorrow People business, John. Send her away."

Astrid left her post in the doorway to stand behind John, wrapping her arms possessively around him. She lifted her chin challengingly. "She's talking just to you, isn't she?"

John rested his head back against her and looked up. "You're getting really good." He lowered his head and placed his hands on top of the ones she clasped on his chest, facing Cara and Russell. "We're a team. We're on the run together. What I do affects both of us."

Cara's eyes narrowed. "What about what you owe to your people? Your family?"

"His people, his family, threw him out on the streets. Wasn't that basically a death sentence?" Astrid didn't give John a chance to answer.

Cara bit her lip. "I regret that, but John forced my hand."

"Forced your hand, huh? By saving me from death at Ultra? Help me out here . . how was that wrong?" Astrid threw her words out like punches.

"It didn't do any good though, did it? The Founder sent his kill squad after you anyway. I lost a valuable bargaining chip because of John's insubordination." Cara fought back.

"Yeah, but I would have been dead if he hadn't and it turned out okay. I'm alive."

Astrid and Cara locked eyes.

"You're human, and he's a Tomorrow Person. What could you possibly have in common?" Cara's lip curled scornfully.

Russell 's eyes were wide as he watched the two women, and his head ping ponged back and forth between them.

"Hmmm. Let's see. We surf, and we're both pretty good. Right, hon?"

John smiled and moved away a little bit so he could turn to look up at her. "Hey, we're really good!"

Russell was interested. "Really, dude? You surf now?"

John turned, a shy grin on his face. "It was on her bucket list, so I added it to mine."

"Awesome!" Russell's grin was wiped off his face by Cara's strident reminder. "We don't have the luxury of bucket lists. We're trying to survive."

John turned back and sobered up. "I know. I led that life." He shook his head ruefully. "If you could call it a life." He stopped and thought, then reiterated. "I really do owe you for throwing me out. I would never have left you to guard Astrid."

Astrid ruffled the blonde hair bleached lighter by the sun and surf of California. She reached down to kiss his head, while lifting her eyes to Cara. "Not as much as I owe her."

She straightened up. "Thank you for John, Cara."

The two women's eyes narrowed and locked as they weighed each other up. You didn't need to be a telepath to feel the tension between the two. Russell's eyes darted back and forth, and he met John's gaze. Both men raised their eyebrows.

John cleared his throat. "Sit you two and tell us why you're here."

Russell pulled out a chair and flipped it around to straddle it. Cara stiffly pulled out a chair and sat. Astrid didn't move until John pulled a chair out and patted the seat. She made a face, but sat, and he moved the chair closer to him so he could wrap an arm over her shoulder. She leaned back into him, resting a hand on his thigh.

Cara refused to look at either of them. The unyielding set of her shoulders and her grim expression did not bode well for a friendly conversation. Russell, taking note of Cara's attitude, shot a pleading look at John. Astrid intercepted it and came to a quick decision. "John, I think maybe you and Cara need to talk a few things out privately. Russell and I will make dinner."

John and Russell spoke together. "You sure?" "I will?"

"I'm sure and you will." Astrid answered both at the same time.

Russell sighed dramatically while John and Cara rose. He led her out the back door through the tiny fenced in yard. She took a quick approving look around the small neat garden and the many flower pots.

~ X ~

Astrid eyed Russell. "So, are you better at spaghetti and sauce or salad or garlic bread?"

"I'm really good at setting the table." Russell figured he had nothing to lose by pretending ignorance.

"Not an acceptable answer. Go to the frig and get out lettuce, carrots, tomatoes and get a can of olives from the cabinet." She watched and then directed. "Nope, middle cabinet."

"Yes Sir, General." Russell good naturedly snapped to attention.

"What, no salute?" Astrid joked, and the two shared a grin.

Astrid opened a jar of sauce and started doctoring it up, while keeping an eye on Russell.

"No! You wash the lettuce before you put it in the bowl. There's a colander in the bottom cabinet. She shook her head as she turned back to the sauce, muttering under breath. "Guys!"

"Wow, do you have John trained?" Russell quipped.

"Yup." Astrid was definitely proud of the fact. "He wouldn't dare eat anything raw without washing it." She added as an afterthought. "Unless it came from our garden. It's just starting to come up, but the tiny veggies are good."

"You have a garden?" Russell couldn't decide if he was envious or awed. He took the time to really look around the kitchen, liking what he saw. The curtains on the window weren't expensive, but they were neat and clean and tasteful. He liked the jelly jar filled with fresh flowers on the window sill. There were little touches all over the small kitchen that showed someone cared. The table and chairs were the same; inexpensive wood that had been painted and stenciled. Everything was spotless. Russell searched his mind until he found the right word. Homey. Yeah this place feels like a home.

Astrid, satisfied with her sauce, put a pot of water for the spaghetti on the burner. She moved to the table to work side by side with Russell. She started on a loaf of Italian bread slicing it in half. "What do you really want John for?"

Russell concentrated on the carrots he was slicing for a moment before stopping and turning his head sideways towards her.

"We're in trouble. They're whittling us down. We aren't saving the new breakouts and most things we try we lose at least one person. We don't know Ultra, and we don't know how Jedikiah thinks. Stephen's off protecting his Mom and little brother. The TP teams they've got are stepping up. We're hard pressed to match their numbers and their skills. John could tip the balance."

Astrid spread butter slowly on the halves of the loaf. She seemed to be digesting the information, and when she spoke she got right to the heart of the matter.

"He can tip the balance because he can shoot. Because he can kill, right?"

Russell nodded. "Yeah."

"Why can't the rest of you shoot as long as you don't aim to kill?" Astrid was truly curious.

"Because we know the gun is for killing, and that we could kill, and we can't shoot. It's . . it's . . it's indescribable."

"Yet knowing how much it affects you, you still ask him to do it?" Astrid buttered the bread so savagely she tore it. "Oops."

"Because he can," Russell said simply. "It doesn't affect him like it does us."

"That's not true. He feels it. It eats at him." She sighed deeply and put down the knife. "I know. We've talked a lot since we've been on the run. He's really opened up to me."

Russell sighed, looking uncomfortable. "We're trying to survive, Astrid. There's a lot of sacrifices going on."

Astrid nodded and then drummed her fingers on the table. "Can I ask you something Russell?"

Russell screwed up his face. "I really wish you wouldn't!"

"Tough. I'm going to. Does Cara want him back just for what he can do or is there more to it?" Astrid shrewdly asked.

Russell groaned. "I do not want to mess with girl turf issues."

"Russell, I have a knife, and I'm human and can use it." She aimed it at him to emphasize her point. "Now spill your guts or I'll spill them for you."

Russell asked uncertainly, "You are joking, right?"

"Just talk."

He started on the tomatoes while he talked, relieved he had something to look at other than Astrid.

"You have to understand Cara always had John to herself. No one went after John. The girls all knew he was off limits. And then things changed. Morgan came in, and she didn't know the unwritten rules. Maybe she didn't want to learn them, but she flirted with John and John . . . I don't think he meant anything seriously with her, but he smiled back, and then he crossed Cara to save her when Cara wanted to dump her at Ultra as revenge."

Russell really gave the tomatoes his full attention now. "And then you. You made it clear at Stephen's little pizza party that you thought he was good looking."

"What? I didn't say . . . Oh . . . telepaths."

"And then he risked everything to save you when Ultra tried to kill you. Took a bullet for you and then made off with Cassie once again going against Cara for another woman."

"So if it had been for Stephen, no problem, huh?" Astrid's mouth twisted in anger.

Russell scratched his head. "Well you gotta remember that other things had changed. They're both strong willed, and they clashed when he was leader, but he had always led. He could take challenges to his authority, take it in stride." Russell waved his arms trying to express himself. "She was brand new. Uncertain, insecure." Russell struggled to find the words he wanted. "She always overreacted. That's what she did when John took Cassie to rescue you. As soon as she did it, she regretted it, but she didn't know how to reverse what she had done without looking weak to the rest of us."

Russell stopped and frowned. "And then Ultra went back on their word and sent the kill squad after you and well you know . . . Stephen asked John to watch you, and you and he disappeared."

Russell started chopping again.

"Yeah, I know." Astrid eyes were a million miles away, maybe in the past. "We were both lost. Okay, I admit I always thought he was good looking but . . . . it's not that." Astrid made a face. "I don't know why I'm telling you this, but he's such a take charge man and at the same time he's as vulnerable as a little boy."

A fond smile made Russell grimace and ask, "Are you going to embarrass me?"

She laughed. "I hope so. We want so much of the same things. He never dreamed he could have a family, but he wants one."

Russell looked thoughtful. "He never told me everything, but I kind of picked up that his life was rotten."

Suddenly Russell's face scrunched up like he smelled something bad. "Ugh, what am I saying? How could it have been anything but bad if the closest thing he had to a father was Jedikiah Price. That's disgusting."

"I agree. Revolting!" Astrid wrinkled her nose as if she had picked up the same noxious smell. But he's not a caveman you know, " Astrid continued. "He listens and if he's wrong he has no problem saying it. If he thinks he's right, he explains why. We make decisions together, and the one who is more knowledgeable takes the lead."

Astrid smiled slyly, a mischievous grin on her face. "He usually takes the lead in bed."

Russell covered his hot cheeks with his hands. "No! Don't do this to me!"

Astrid laughed happily; pleased she had made him blush. She quickly sobered up. "I need you to know one thing Russell. I don't want him hurt. He's been hurt enough, and I'll use every bit of influence, everything in my power to stop this."

Russell looked torn. "He's my friend, Astrid, probably my best friend, but we're going down and I do think he can tip the scales."

Astrid nodded. "Understood."

They finished up the salad together and Astrid, looking at the boiling water and the hot sauce told Russell. "Call them back and then set the table."

"OMG, always with the orders." But he said it without heat, his tone indicating he was amused.

~ X ~

They walked along the cracked sidewalks of the shabby neighborhood. They both took the same long strides, and Cara couldn't help thinking how well matched they were.

John was startled when Cara reached for his hand. He hesitated and then maintained a gentle hold.

They walked in silence for another block until Cara pulled him into an alleyway between two small houses. He searched her face uncertainly, surprised when she wrapped her arms around his neck, pulling him into a deep kiss. He didn't pull back, but he didn't respond either.

"I've missed you. I've missed this."

He gently unwrapped her arms from around his neck and stepped back clasping her hands in his. "Cara . . . you know I'm not what you want."

"You are."

John shook his head from side to side. "We've been through this, Cara. You want someone who shares everything. I can't share most of my memories. Hell, I don't want most of my memories. And when I kill . . ." His eyes betrayed his misery.

"I can help you bear the pain."

He dropped her hand to run his through his hair.

"We belong together," Cara insisted.

John's mental voice was stiff. "No, Cara, you belong with someone who can share everything. Someone like Stephen. Someone with no dark places."

"How can you forget what we had together? How good it was."

"I can't. I won't. I don't want to forget, but you ended it, Cara. You forced me to move on." His eyes were introspective. "And I had to, Cara. I had to move on or die."

He looked down, and when he looked up the hurt on his face caused a pain in the region around her heart. He switched to voice as if he couldn't bear to send the thoughts. "I was lost, Cara. My sole purpose in life was to protect our kind and love you and you took it all away in one blow. It was move on or die." He shrugged. "I found a new life." He hesitated and then softly added. "A new love."

"Astrid." The word was bitter. "She's human. She can never give you this." She sent a blast of love so strong he closed his eyes and let the warmth engulf him.

He sighed deeply and opened his eyes. "Cara, I didn't leave you. You threw me away."

"It was a mistake, John. Weren't you the one that said you learned to lead by trial and error, mostly error?" Cara pleaded for his understanding.

"It's more than that. I have a real life now, Cara. We have plans. We learned to surf. Astrid's singing in the local restaurant. She's really good. I work at a computer place and make extra money repairing things on the side. We share the things we can share, and when my memories get to me she understands. We are just so well matched." He was lost in thought for a moment. "We haven't been followed for six months now. I come back, and I'll be in Ultra's crosshairs. So will she. It's not just me anymore. I'll be putting her at risk."

"Leave her some place safe," Cara urged. "Send her to Stephen. I know she cares for him. She loved him."

John laughed. "You don't know Astrid. Nobody tells her where to go or who to love."

They both heard Russell. "Come back. The slave driver says supper's ready."

Cara's lips twisted. "She sounds bossy."

John smiled mischievously. "I've always been attracted to bossy women."

She couldn't hold back an answering smile. Another thing she missed . . . that playful smile that made him look like a naughty boy. "John .. "

He gently cut her off. "Let's go back. I'm hungry."

They retraced their steps in silence, Cara lost in thought. The kitchen was warm and the smells in the small room appetizing. Russell was openly proud of his salad and pressed it on everyone. It was a simple yet delicious meal, but the conversation was constrained, making things uncomfortable.

Russell and Cara pressed John hard. He was taken aback because Astrid said little beyond expressing her view that it was no longer John's battle, and they were taking advantage of him. She let them know in no uncertain terms that what they were asking would hurt John and tasked them with thinking only of themselves. And then nothing. She just listened carefully.

He kept darting looks at her, disconcerted by her silence.

He finally asked her outright. "What I do doesn't just affect me. I'm putting you at risk too. What should I do?"

Russell and Cara held their breaths.

"I can't . . I won't make that decision for you, John. My decision will be if I go with you or not."

"Help us with what we have planned next week. Just review what we're doing. See if it makes sense. Do that one thing for me, John." Cara begged. "Please. I need your help. And your family does too. They were your family, John. Admit it . . . family has to be protected."

John bent his head. Astrid knew what he was thinking. This woman had risked her life to save both of them. He was not the type of person to turn his back on her. And in a way the people living in that subway station were his adopted family. He had cared for them like a father. Astrid's lips twisted with the bitter taste of defeat.

Cara knew it and flashed a triumphant smile at her that she quickly suppressed when John lifted his head.

"I'll come back for this one mission. But that's it. Understand?" He held Cara's eyes.

"Thank you, John."

John gave a resigned sigh. "Okay, we can't do anything else tonight. The only thing we can offer you is the floor or you can sleep sitting up in the living room chairs."

Russell piped up. "No problem. We can bunk at the safe house you showed me. We'll catch up with you in the morning."

Cara smiled. "It's good to have you back, John."

As soon as they teleported out, John turned to Astrid. "You got awful quiet. What's wrong?"

"I've been rethinking this. If you're determined to go then I want to stay somewhere safe." Astrid wouldn't meet his eyes.

"Wha . . . . sure, whatever you want." John was stunned by this turn around. This just wasn't like the Astrid he knew.

They went to bed, John still puzzled. He sneaked a peak at Astrid's mind, but it was clamped down tight on one thought the way he had taught her. He regretted those lessons now, but she had asked, and he would do anything for her.

She was different tonight when they made love. She had always been tender and eager for him, but tonight she was fierce and demanding; insistent upon taking charge, riding him, loving and touching him as if she could never get enough. She stroked every inch of his body as if memorizing him. When they were finally sated, John quickly feigned falling asleep. Astrid's decision to separate from him was disturbing, and he needed to get to the bottom of it.

He evened out his breathing, and soon enough he heard the faint sound of quiet sobs. He caught her thought and shock made him stiffen and stop pretending to breathe heavy.

She caught the change and jumped up to her knees. "Are you pretending to sleep?"

When he opened his eyes, she pounced on him, beating him with her fists. "You skunk. You promised. You promised you wouldn't read my thoughts."

He caught her fists and kissed first one then the other. "Why didn't you tell me?"

Then as a thought hit him, he dropped her hands, devastated. "Never mind, I know."

Now it was her turn to insist. "John, don't you dare turn away from me. I don't read minds. Tell me what you think you know."

He hung his head. "You don't want me around. You don't think I'll be a good father."

Her mouth dropped opened, and she started to pummel him again, timing her words to her punches. "You . . John . . Young . . are . . an . . idiot!"

"Stop! Stop!" he begged. "We made a pact to be honest with each other when he went on the run. This is the wrong time to have secrets."

She sighed and sat cross legged. "Oh, John. I know, but I've been so confused. I wasn't sure until a week ago, and I wanted to wait until . . you know I was further along. Until I could sort out my feelings."

She covered her face with her hands. "I was so torn when I suspected. I've always wanted children, but to bring a child into the world when we live in such turmoil . . when we never know from one day to the next if we'll have to pick up stakes and run. I would school myself to only think about it at work. I would be thrilled one moment . . . scared the next."

"I thought you were on the pill?" John said.

She scowled. "I ran out remember, and then you got carried away."

He grinned. "You're right. It's all my fault."

She shot him an evil look, sniffing and then relented somewhat. "Okay, so I got a little carried away too, but if you weren't so good I could have kept my wits about me and said no."

He grabbed her hand again and kissed it, his face serious now. "I know I don't know much about being a father, but I swear I will learn. I'll protect our child with my life. I will never let a child of mine go through what I went through."

"John." She bent over and kissed him. "I never doubted you."

She pushed him to sit up against the headboard and then snuggled under his arm. "I know how long you led your people. I know how you struggled to keep them safe." She made a face. "I know Cara wants you back, but she did risk her life to save us. I couldn't ask you to not go, and I had every intention of going with you. And then it hit me. What you said was true for me now too . .. I wasn't just risking my life. I was risking another life. That's why I said I wasn't going with you."

John kissed the top of her head. "We have another life to protect. Not just you . . us. We've got a bucket to protect. Maybe we should name the kid 'Bucket'."

Astrid twisted around to look at him.

"Did you really think I would desert you and our baby?" John asked softly.

Astrid just smiled. "I love you, John Young, but you will never name a child of ours 'Bucket'."

In the morning when Russell and Cara teleported in, they found the house deserted. A note was on the counter.

You're right. You have to protect family.

~ FIN ~