Chapter 1: The Problem

Nami, navigator and cartographer of the Straw Hat Pirates, was an expert on weird. She'd climbed a mountain with a ship, promptly been eaten by a while, seen dinosaurs and giants, been eaten by a giant goldfish, had fallen ill due to a tick that was supposed to be extinct, crossed a desert island with a princess in tow, and visited an island in the sky.

But this... this was another concept altogether.

"I still don't get this," Luffy said, pouting and grabbing at the two rather large, and very awkward, orbs now hanging off his chest. "What the hell's going on, anyway?"

Zoro growled in anger. "I'm nowhere near as strong as I was yesterday. What the hell!? Maybe Kuina's dad was right about that whole thing about girls being weaker than guys. How did this even happen in the first place?"

Nami sighed. "We've been through this, Luffy and Zoro... er, Lucy and Zoe."

"Eh!? Why Lucy!?"

"Don't call me Zoe..."

"It's because you're, well, not boys anymore, Luf - - Lucy, Zoe. Think about it. What if this... er... condition lasts for a while? What if at the next island we stop at, the locals hear us calling you 'Luffy' and 'Zoro?' They'll think you're weird, and you still look enough like you did before that the locals might start making connections. Until Chopper finds a way to reverse this, you're gonna have to get used to it."

Even for the Grand Line, this situation redefined the word 'crazy.' Nami wasn't quite sure whether to laugh at her captain and first mate's obvious discomfort in their new bodies, or to sympathize with them. She thought back to the source of The Problem, as Usopp had ever so creatively coined it. Her memories of yesterday weren't very clear, considering she'd been having a drinking contest with the locals of the last island, but she seemed to recall something about Luffy eating a strange-looking pink fruit and Zoro sipping from a weird-ass fountain with pink water. The villagers, of course, had warned them against eating or drinking anything on the island colored pink, but Zoro and Luffy, being the idiots that they were, ignored the advice and did it anyway.

Now they were...

...Girls.

They both actually made quite cute girls, and Sanji probably wouldn't have been able to recognize them if not for the fact that he'd been there at the time they ate and drank the pink stuff. As it was, when the crew had discovered the change earlier that morning, the ero-cook had locked himself away in the kitchen and refused to come out until a cure was ready.

Luffy... er, Lucy, was even shorter now than he had been before. He had lost at least two or three inches, and he hadn't exactly been tall. Or even medium-height. To tell the truth, Luffy was probably the shortest of the entire crew, girls included. But now that he had been genderbent, as Robin had put it, he was about the height of a tall midget. By Nami's estimate, the newly-turned girl was a whopping 5'4". He had long, smooth black hair flowing down his back that seemed to fascinate him. As he whined and complained about loosing strength and his off-center balance, she saw him run his hands through his new hair. Luffy's other features had also turned rather feminine. His innocent, wide onyx eyes had shrunk a little and grown even softer. The scar present over his left eye had become so thin it was almost non-existent. His hands were smaller, more delicate, and he had curves that almost made Nami jealous, his breasts (at least a D-cup) almost spilling out of his tighter-than-normal red vest. How did her boy captain have a better hourglass figure than her? It just wasn't fair!

Zoro - - Zoe - - had a more tomboyish look, on the other hand. The swordsman (swordswoman?) had managed to keep his hair at shoulder length, whereas Luffy's touched the small of his back. His hair had also become slightly greener, though it made him, dare Nami say it, a bit cuter. His face had morphed into a heart shape, but he was kind of flat chested, and unlike Luffy, had actually grown taller since last night, though he had clearly lost a lot of the muscles he'd trained hard for.

Both of them were absolutely horrified by the loss of their 'package' - - though Luffy apparently called it his 'family jewels.' A bit too much information for the poor navigator.

She had brought the two ex-boys into the women's cabin to find them something to wear, but that had been what seemed like hours ago. With Zoro and Luffy's constant complaining, she hadn't been able to get anything done.

"I still don't get what the use for boobs are," Zoe grumbled. "They're big and awkward and kinda itchy."

Lucy glared daggers at him. "You're flat chested. Don't complain when you don't have boobs the size of watermelons, like me."

Nami raised an eyebrow. Since when did Luffy know anything, or care, about female parts?

Zoe's eye twitched. "Did you just say I'm flat chested?"

"Yeah," Lucy confirmed icily. "Got a problem with it?"

The two erupted into a flurry of sloppily placed kicks and punches, leaving the redhead to conclude that Luffy had become slightly more aggressive since the change and Zoe even more prideful. That was a bit surprising. And it came as a bit of a shocker that they were fighting over the size of their chests. Was Zoro actually jealous of Luffy? Nah, that couldn't be it. Maybe it was his confused hormones speaking. If the twos' bodies were anywhere near as confused as she was at the moment, then the genderbent captain and first mate must be feeling like a mini war was waging somewhere inside them.

"Girls, girls," Nami interjected. "You're both pretty. Now shut up and listen." The two froze and looked at her, shivering. The navigator wondered why they were always so scared of her when they were such monsters, but didn't ask any questions and took a deep breath. "Okay, as I said before on that last island we landed on - -"

"Taiyo Island," Lucy added helpfully.

Damn was it confusing having to think of them in their girl names...

"Yes, Lucy, I know," she sighed. The other girl grumbled about the feminized name, but fell silent again under the redhead's gaze. "As I was saying, on Taiyo Island, you ate some weird pink fruit. Zoro drank out of a pink fountain. Now, the rest of us were warned not to eat or drink anything pink, because it would be cursed to swap your gender, but obviously you morons weren't listening."

"Luffy was running off to look at something," Zoe said. "I was just making sure he didn't get lost, but the next thing I knew, he had disappeared and I was really thirsty and there was a fountain nearby. So I drank from it."

Nami nodded. "Like I said, you're a moron. Sanji ran after you and he knew better than to eat or drink pink. Well, now you two are girls. And being girls, you have slightly different centers of balance, which is why you two keep tripping all the time. Also, while it may be true that girls are generally less powerful than guys, we make up for it in speed and agility, so if you can just get your balance back, you should be able to fight on somewhat equal terms as your male selves."

Luffy - - gah, Lucy - - had been strangely quiet throughout this explanation. "Oh. I think I get it. So we're less powerful, but we're faster? And we need to practice walking?"

"Uh... yeah." Nami blinked and added being smarter to the expanding list of things that had changed since the genderswap. "Until you can get your centers of balance back, we may need to keep you away from any battles. It will also be a problem if we encounter Marines... Say, Lucy, is your body still rubber?"

The now-female captain of the Straw Hats stretched out his fuller-than-usual lips. "Yup."

"Okay, well, I guess whatever was wrong with the stuff you injested, it doesn't affect Devil Fruit abilities. That's good."

Zoe muttered something under his breath.

"What was that?" she asked. "I didn't catch that."

"I said, 'at least you get to keep your fighting abilities, Luffy,'" Zoro... ZOE!... grumbled.

Come to think of it, if they were girls now, so wouldn't the swordsman and the captain technically be she's, not he's? Nami figured if she called them by their appropriate genders, it might be easier to differentiate from their male counterparts.

Luckily, Lucy kept quiet after this remark and Nami was allowed to continue. "Yeah. Anyway, Robin and I will need to dress you up and make you two look your parts. After all, what if you went out in public looking like this? People would either think you're homeless, sluts, tomboys, or all three. Here that, Robin?" She eyed the detached ear and eye that had been keeping tabs on the situation inside the girl's cabin.

"But we are tomboys," Zoro cut in. "If I'm gonna be forced to be a girl, then I'm not gonna prance around in some shitty pink dress or frills. No damn way!"

"Me neither," Lucy agreed, nodding so quickly his, no, her, hair fell in her face. She frowned in annoyance and pushed the night-colored locks back. "And I ain't dressin' like you or Robin. I dunno, it just makes me feel embarrassed even thinking about that."

Okay, some serious changes must have been made in the two's mind frames. Luffy had never cared about how much he showed before, wearing a shirt that pulled your attention to his surprisingly firm-looking six pack. Which, Nami noted with some disappointment, had all but vanished since last night.

"Sorry, but that's pretty much all we have. I'm sure we can find something, though," Nami soothed quickly, seeing her soon-to-be roommates' anger flare up at her first assesment. "We'll just have to search. Hard."

A second later, Robin entered the room through the hatch in the storage room. "I'm here, Navigator-san," said the large-chested archaeologist. Nami really wished she would just call them by their names already. The beauty caught sight of Lucy and Zoe and blinked. "Ah. And here I thought my eye was playing tricks on me. Swordsman-chan looks rather cute, doesn't she?"

The Marimo's face heated up, though whether it was from anger or embarrassment, Nami couldn't tell thanks to this damned genderbending. "Oi!" she complained, looking like she was itching to pull out her swords, though they were currently leaning against the far wall. "Since when did you have the right to call me that!? And I'm not cute, dammit! I'm a guy! A GUY!"

Nami burst into snickers as Robin raised an eyebrow at her. "Your body certainly doesn't look like a man's."

"I don't have boobs! I can easily pass as a man! Just you watch! I'm a man anyway, so it shouldn't be too hard."

"But your eyes are so cute now, Swordsman-chan. They'd give it away immediately."

"...I'll wear glasses, then."

"Your butt is larger than any man's."

Zoe's eye twitched. "Dammit, woman!"

"Shishishi!" Lucy giggled, which actually sounded very beautiful in a girl's voice. Nami's cheeks tinged a little red at the thought of anything about Luffy being beautiful. "You can't look like a man~! You can't look like a man~!"

"With a chest that size, you're not one to talk," the other newly-turned girl pointed out.

And thus they started fighting. Again. Robin watched in amusement.

"They seem to act rather like Zoro does with Sanji, don't they?" she mused.

"Yeah," Nami said. "This day just keeps getting more and more confusing."

One sighing in vexation and one giggling, the two girls delved into their closets to search for anything that their fellow females might be able to wear without complaining. Lucy and Zoe, caught up in their angry fight (how they were moving so smoothly with a largely reduced balance was beyond Nami), didn't notice.

Hiding in the kitchen, Sanji shivered.

"Luffy and Zoro... are girls..." he muttered in horror.

He wondered whether he should run screaming or be blasted back by the mother of all nosebleeds.

Lucy's boobs were quite large.

And so the first chapter of my newest fanfiction is complete. My previous girl!Luffy one-shot, Of Navigators and Captains, got a good enough reception that I decided to make another fem!Luffy fanfic different from my major series, One Piece: Full Blast. Of course, this is a genderbending fic, whereas ONC was Luffy born a girl. Well, I hope you enjoyed this new story! Stay tuned for more! This fanfiction will actually have a significant plot, trust me. I already have everything planned out. Now I just need to put it to words.

Oh, and sorry, but there will not be any omake theaters for Gender Confusion Confusion, although I will still be replying to reviews. Speaking of which, please review! And don't forget to follow and/or favorite! Following will allow you to be updated whenever I post a new chapter of GCC, which will be a lot slower than OP FULL BLAST. Favoriting will show you really, really like this. And reviewing lets me know your exact thoughts. Note that although popularity is appreciated, it is not needed in any way, shape or form.

Happy Valentine's Day!

-TheRealEvanSG