A/N: Thank you for holding on with me this far.
Please review and let me know what you did and didn't like. :)
Also, as always, unfortunately I do not own these characters. :(
Okay, here we go.
Chapter 14
It wasn't the most comfortable position in the world but it was enough to have woken wrapped gently around the brunette, the surge of emotion she felt at hearing deep breaths beside her instead of shallow was overwhelming to say the least and she couldn't recall any other person evoking the feelings she had been having for a while now, the ones she was currently feeling washing over her, it wasn't so much the feelings themselves than it was the intensity to which they engulfed her and quite literally feeling half the time she looked at the other woman that her chest was about to break and she could barely breathe. She was unaccustomed to feeling things quite that intensely.
Neal, sure, she had loved him but the difference was immense and what she had with Regina, whatever it was, to which she knew it was stronger than anything because the brunette's kiss had been powerful enough, even with the slight pressure of their lips had restored her original memories and everything she had been feeling flooded back twice as consuming as she felt them previously.
At first, when Hook had told her that her memories were false she had fought resiliently, mentally and emotionally to hold strong to them, needing them, but now that her memories had returned and even though the implanted ones were only steadily making a slow retreat from her mind, she found that the void that she feared would be there... wasn't. Instead, Regina was there and though she realized that the woman was unaware or at least not privy to the change occurring within the blonde, it reassured her greatly that even though the best years of her life were false... she also knew they were special because they were Regina's memories and an ache presented itself in her chest at the thought of what Regina had felt upon giving up Henry and letting Emma go knowing that she would remember everything.
It was only the shift of the brunette's breath that made her open her own eyes, the shock of the bright light from the window that plastered their room made her hiss and rapidly shut them again, a few seconds later, needing to see the beautiful chocolate orbs in front of her, she tried again slowly, blinking carefully until her eyes adjusted and she was glad they did, not only because of the fact there was no longer a searing pain but mainly because when they refocussed they honed in on the one thing she wanted to see, the sepia she was craving that was currently staring right at her.
A small sheepish smile worked it's way onto porcelain features and she felt a heat flood her face as she blushed.
An answering smile appeared on the older woman's face and she gently brought her fingertips up to dusk light upon the splattering of colour on planed cheekbones.
Emma sighed softly, desperately wanting to lean into the caress but fear gripped at her, forbidding her to worrying that the intimate gesture would be too much too soon and an ache entered her chest, the thought of messing things up between them before they even fully began hurt greatly.
"How are you feeling?" She whispered quietly.
"Like death warmed up," Regina's broken voice greeted her ears.
"What can I do? Where does it hurt?" Emma gushed and felt her face flush again.
"Time and rest is really all I think will suffice for the moment. Though I would love some form of pain relief but the medical form of it here is paltry at best and the aid leaves a lot to be desired," She quipped huskily, absently running the pad of her thumb over the soft skin of Emma's face where she still had her fingers pressed.
"Are you hungry?" Emma asked gently instead of focussing on the blossoming of nervous fluttering in her stomach that the brunette's touch evoked.
"A little," She started, "It's been so long since I've eaten a proper meal, Lilith replenished my body as if I had eaten with magic... when she remembered."
"That explains it," Emma mumbled and at Regina's curious look she faltered, guilt pooled within her at what she had been reduced to with Lilith, more importantly, willingly succumbing to her ministrations to somewhat fuel a desire that she had no clue as to why she had in the first place, but that in itself held no excuse, "Explains why I didn't feel hungry and why she didn't ask."
Regina simply gave her a half smile in response, the answer didn't entirely satisfy her as it didn't explain the look that had taken over the young blonde's face, the flush to her cheeks, nor the rapid nervousness to her breathing pattern, it left the brunette with the distinct feeling that there was definitely something more that the blonde left unsaid.
"Emma," She hesitated unsure how to continue and the fact that the other woman wouldn't meet her gaze she crumbled slightly, "Whatever happened... you can tell me, you know that right? I know we weren't exactly close before but I do feel things have changed greatly between us in these last couple of days..."
"You're right," The blonde mumbled quietly and guilt ridden green eyes lifted to stare into confused chocolate orbs, "Something did happen and I don't want it to change things between us now."
Regina exhaled, running her fingers softly down Emma's bare arm until her fingers rested between the blonde's.
"Whatever you tell me... I can't tell you I won't get mad but it doesn't mean that my feelings for you are interchangeable as if that was the case I wouldn't have been attracted to you in the first place as you have proven, on quite a few occasions, that you can be quite infuriating at times."
Emma laughed, the sound itself causing the brunette to smile softly as she watched the other relax, a warmth spread through her knowing she was the one that had elicited that reaction.
"Oh gods, I am glad I'm not the only one," Emma gasped and then dropped her gaze to the brunette's with a small smile, "But in all seriousness... it's not as simple as that either."
"Go on," Regina encouraged quietly, her own smile faltered and she grew serious once more but her demeanor oozed a gentleness that Emma had never seen from the brunette before that was directed at anyone other than Henry.
"If it wasn't something I thought was important for you to know or something I thought wouldn't come up sooner or later I would just let it be... but that doesn't sit right with me either and I know if I don't tell you now and you find out later... it might ruin whatever we... I mean whatever this thing between us is."
"Okay," Regina responded, her dark eyes scanning the other woman's pale face, she noted the shaking of Emma's hand that she held within her own and she squeezed it.
"When Lilith had me... I mean when I was under her control... when she was feeding..." She hesitated and upon seeing the look of recognition at her words within chocolate depths she continued, "She attempted to seduce me several times..." Emma exhaled, "She tried and she failed..." She paused feeling a weight settle in the pit of her stomach, "But when I realized what I felt for you... and even though it wasn't you and I knew it wasn't you... it kept getting harder and finally it became too hard not to... even though I knew it wasn't you and she even goaded me with that... bringing up that nobody would know, that you wouldn't know... because at that point she had told me you were dead but I didn't entirely believe her but it still made me falter... at one point she even tried to be you for me... I..." Before she could continue though Regina had removed her hand from between Emma's and delicately cupped the blonde's face.
"Emma," Her name fell off the other woman's tongue like honey and stirred her within, a sudden surge of arousal spread swiftly through her body at the way her name was uttered, pooling at her center and she swallowed audibly as sepia orbs searched hers, "Did you not realize what my dreamscape was when I thought I was dying?"
"But that was diff..." She started with a frown that pulled her eyebrows downwards but Regina interrupted her again.
"How?" Regina asked, her face completely serious, "Just because Lilith manipulated the situation? Even so, looking deeper at it, it's no different... we both thought we were going to die and our desires played out because we thought it was our last chance."
"I guess I see what you're saying," Emma answered carefully still not entirely convinced.
Dark thumbs brushed tenderly across the planes of her cheeks and they stared at one another for a moment before a knock at the door interrupted them and a dark head poked around the entrance.
"Emma, great! You're awake," Snow smiled and then moved into the room as Regina removed her hold from the blonde's face, her ears were greeted by a gasp, "You're awake!" She turned her bright face towards the other brunette before flickering back to Emma's and noticed the difference in her gaze immediately, gone was the harshness every time the blonde looked at her and instead replaced with a familiar gleam, "Emma?"
The Saviour slowly sat up, cringing at the effort it took to do so but tears welled and she held her arms out toward her mother, who moved faster than she had ever seen any pregnant woman move before and wrapped her arms firmly around the blonde.
They clung to each other for a what seemed minutes until Snow's fingers threaded through blonde tresses, over and over, her gaze caught Regina's who glanced away immediately as the awkwardness of the situation settled over them until Snow drew back, lifted Emma's face with her hands and sighed softly.
"How?" She breathed.
"I..." Emma attempted, stopping short of blurting something she would regret later having not known what had gone on between them all in the past year and she settled for a more vague answer, "I'm not entirely sure," She lied and she felt rather than saw the look that she knew she was getting from Regina penetrating into the skin on her back.
"It doesn't matter!" Snow gushed, stroking her daughter's face unaware that moments ago that Regina had been doing the same thing and Emma silently wished it was still the older brunette and not her mother's touch, "You're back... that is the main thing!"
"Henry?" Emma questioned suddenly only to be met with a sad shake of her head, "Well, I was hoping," She gently pulled her mother's hands from her face suddenly feeling very self conscious.
"Where is Henry?" Regina asked from beside them.
"Learning Prince-ly things," Emma quipped as she turned to look at her only to be met with a more closed off look and she frowned, trying to figure out what had caused it when she realized she had dismissed the returning of her memories, dismissed the brunette's feelings as if they were nothing in fear that she would lose her mother and then quietly followed with, "Snow, would you mind giving us a minute?"
"Sure," She frowned and when Emma wouldn't meet her gaze again, continuing to only look at the other woman she followed hesitantly with, "I'll be right outside," Upon being answered with a fairly clipped affirmative, she left.
"Did I fuck up?" Emma asked hesitantly as her insides plummeted in dread, "I very nearly told her exactly how I got my memories back but I don't know what happened this last year... and... I... I just got you back and Snow back and..."
"It's hard to believe... but your mother and I actually grew much closer... though you're right... this is new ground for the both of us and though I still desperately want to rub it in her face that I am in love with her daughter," She joked and Emma sighed in relief when the hurt look was replaced with a more relaxed one.
Emma couldn't help it then, the moment that Regina blurted those words in passing, whether she realized it or not but Emma's world ignited and as she leaned forward and tenderly pressed petite pink to full lips, she couldn't help but moan at the fireworks that lit inside her, as cliché as that sounded but she finally understood.
She pulled back after a few moments and smiled brilliantly at the brunette, "Not that I'm complaining..."
"You said you were in love with me..." Emma whispered, her emerald eyes gleaming and Emma watched the hesitant reaction and the emotions that crossed the other woman's face before she captured it gently within her grasp, "I do too."
"Do what too?" Regina snapped, trying desperately to pull some of her walls back up after being surprisingly disarmed by the blonde in seconds with just her mouth and a rush of desire swept through her when she thought of exactly what else Emma could do.
"I love you too," Emma muttered not daring to remove her gaze and she suddenly felt her confidence swell as well as arousal at Regina's words.
There was another knock at the door at the moment and Emma growled somewhat angrily, unaware of the reaction the noise elicited in the older woman before she yelled at the closed door, "In a minute!"
"Ma?" Henry's hesitant tones replied somewhat muffled through the heavy wooden doors.
She cast her gaze to the door before it flickered instantly back to Regina who simply nodded at her but Emma could see the pain locked behind chocolate brown and she kissed her briefly before she sat up and called out for the teenager to enter.
"Ma, I'm sorry," Henry blurted as he rushed to his mother's side and held her in a gentle embrace, standing beside the bed he was taller than her and the thought itself was disconcerting to both mother's.
"It's okay," Emma whispered.
"No, it's not... I should never have spoken to you like that..." He mumbled quietly and his hazel eyes took in the older woman who stared at him, openly, with an expression he couldn't quite make out but he knew from what they told him, that she was supposed to be his mother too and though it confused him greatly, not remembering any of the life they told him about, they had spoken with absolute certainty that whatever she had done had been to protect him, he couldn't fault her entirely, not when they told him of her attempts to redeem herself, mainly for him but now he wondered if there was something more. So he decided after his anger had dissipated he would give her a chance but he still couldn't help the wash of hurt that ran through him at the thought of his father finding out that he didn't have a chance with the woman he loved.
"It's okay," Emma repeated before pulling back and looking him square in the face and that was when he realized something was different, in the way she looked at him but he shook it off, "It's okay."
"I will try harder, I promise," He said and he glanced back to the brunette who offered him a weak smile this time, there was a tenderness in her gaze and he smiled at her sadly, "I wish I could remember you, maybe it would make everything make a little more sense and I'm sorry I don't."
"It's okay," Regina reiterated Emma's wording easily, watching her sooth their son calmed her which she found somewhat amusing considering the rage it used to provoke when she would see her son with the blonde woman and she smiled softly, realizing that even through the fear of losing her son at that point, there had been from the very moment that Emma Swan had entered Storybrooke a pull, an attraction that she never understood until now.