Chapter Four: Making Amends

Ben was asleep almost before they took off. Mara felt her heart go out to her tender-hearted son. She loved this little boy with all of her heart, and she knew she was blessed have him call her mother. He was the best thing to happen to her since her husband.

Her husband.

Mara felt the stabbing guilt return like the rushing of water through a cracked dam. She had treated Luke so terribly, and all he had been trying to do was help Ben's special date go off without a hitch.

Oh, Luke, I'm so sorry! Mara thought.

She reached out with the Force, trying to touch his presence. But he was still closed up, and Mara felt her shame grow. Mara glanced at Ben's sleeping form, biting her lower lip. She made up her mind and punched in the com codes for Solo's apartment.

Leia answered, looking disheveled and worn. "Mara? Are you alright?"

"Leia, I'm sorry it's so late. I need a huge favor."

Leia probably saw something in Mara's face or heard it in her voice. "Whatever you need."

"Would you mind watching Ben tonight?"

"Of course, bring him over."

"Thank you, Leia!"

Half an hour later, Mara returned to the speeder; she slid into the passenger's seat and simply sat there. What now?

She had no idea where Luke had gone. She had a thought, and drove back to her apartment building to start from the beginning. Mara parked, went to their apartment, and stopped. She stretched out with the Force and found the echo of Luke's presence.

Mara followed it out of the building, walking a surprising distance. Several times she had to stop and re-establish the trail because every now and then it wound its way through the few parties still going full swing even at this hour.

She finally stopped at a secluded park in deep shadow and stopped at a disheveled patch of grass. She bent to feel it.

Her fingers touched cold grass, which meant that if Luke had been here, he had left a long time ago. Mara winced at the mingling residue of the hurt Luke had released on this spot. She had really wounded her husband, and like the incredible man he was Luke had simply walked away rather than fight her.

Luke was also very sensitive to her wishes and demands, even and especially when she directed her full-fledged anger at him. So when she had told Luke to get lost, he had done just that.

Mara sat, abruptly overwhelmed.

Why did I have to take my frustration out on Luke? He didn't deserve it. He never does, but he takes it anyway.

Mara wept bitterly, allowing her harsh emotions run their course so she could start fresh. Her days as the Emperor's Hand were long behind her, and she worked hard to keep it that way. But every now and then, things came up that weakened that resolve… such as a holiday celebrating the death of her once-beloved Master.

Mara waited for the tears to stop, and with them gone, she flung her sadness as far from her as she could. She breathed deep, clearing her foggy mind.

Luke would have had to find a place to sleep, Mara reasoned. And after the way she had shouted him down, she did not blame him for not returning home tonight.

Maybe he went to the ship. Mara thought, standing.

She made her way to the hangar where the Jade Shadow was berthed. Sitting beside it was Luke's X-wing, its canopy raised as though someone had been doing maintenance on it. Mara opened the hatch and boarded the Shadow. She checked their cabin, and frowned at the untouched bed. Mara found similarly untouched beds and furniture throughout the rest of the yacht.

Trying one more place, Mara checked the cockpit. Empty.

Is he in the cargo hold?

But no luck there either.

Mara returned to the cockpit and slumped wearily into the pilot's chair and let out a great sigh. She glanced up to see Luke's X-wing outside the viewport… and spotted the dark figure within the starfighter's cockpit.

Mara leapt to her feet, and ran down the boarding ramp. She practically leapt up the ladder, wondering why, if Luke was in the X-wing, he hadn't reacted to her coming into the hangar initially.

She paused halfway up the ladder.

Is he angry with me?

Mustering her courage, Mara climbed the rest of the way up. Her answer came when she saw him slumped back in the pilot's couch, head resting on the side of the cockpit… and snoring softly.

Mara's heart clenched as she saw him crammed into the tiny cockpit. She spotted something in his grasp, almost as though he had fallen asleep while working.

Mara gingerly took the datapad from his slackened grasp and descended the ladder. She heard a soft snort, and glanced up, but Luke was still fast asleep.

She tapped the display to bring it out of sleep mode, and saw the draft for a rather lengthy letter. Mara scrolled to the top, and began to read.

My Dearest Mara,

Ben was so worried about you that he asked me to help him prepare a special date for just the two of you. I am so proud of that boy! And he loves his mother to the moon and back. Ben was so excited that you were asleep when we got home so he could hide his gifts from you.

I hope you two had a pleasant evening. I thought I would… give you two some space.

Mara…you know how much I hate to pull rank on you. I detest it, because somehow it makes me feel like I am treating you as less than my equal. You deserve far better than that.

"Oh, I don't know about that sometimes, Farmboy." Mara murmured.

But please know that when I do pull rank, it is only because I am trying to do the right thing, even if it means I must stand alone for a time. But it does not mean I love you any less. Quite the contrary.

Please forgive me, Mara. Don't hate me for what I did back there. I hate fighting with you.

Mara closed her eyes. Only her beloved, utterly devoted husband would apologize for her screaming at him.

I love you so much more than any words could ever describe. Being a man, I fall short on the appropriate words, but I shall try nonetheless.

You are the sun that gives my world light. Without your radiant smile to greet me each morning, my day is dark. If not for the bright color of your indescribably beautiful green eyes, my own world would be lifeless.

Your embrace brings warmth to an otherwise cruel and cold galaxy. And the silk of your hair reminds me of a nebula, untamed in its ethereal beauty. When we make love, it is utter and amazing bliss. Your skin is intoxicating, and I get lost in your truly unique scent.

And your lips… oh, Mara! Your kisses are sweet nectar, your lips as soft as your words can be harsh.

Mara fumbled numbly for the scroll key, taking that last word hard because of their fight.

You are so strong, Mara! Your witty intelligence is unsurpassed, and your devotion is unbreakable.

I do not know what I would do if I ever lost you. My world… I… would fall to pieces. You once asked me to never leave you, Mara. And I swore then, as I swear now, that will NEVER happen! The day I leave you, Mara, is the day I die in the Force, and cease to exist.

But, if I may ask something in return. Please promise that you will never leave me, no matter how much of a blockhead I can be at times.

"You're the blockhead, Skywalker?" Mara asked, shaking her head. "I don't think so… at least, not all the time." She added slyly.

I cannot tell you how happy it makes me to know that you are my wife, and that you are the mother of my child. You are an amazing mother, Mara. I know you had your doubts, but believe me when I say you are exceeding all expectations.

The happiest moment of my life was when you said you would marry me… no, scratch that. The happiest moment of my life was when you said "I Do". Oh, Mara, how my heart leapt when I heard those words.

And I cannot describe how incredible you looked on our wedding day… and especially on our wedding night!

I love you so much Mara! So much! Thank you, thank you for being my wonderful wife!

Forever and always yours,

Luke.

Mara didn't realize she was weeping again until a few tear drops landed on the datapad display. She wiped it dry with her dress, and clutched the device to her heart, as though the tender words could somehow move from the datapad to her spirit.

Mara also realized that at some point during the letter, she had moved into a sitting position on the floor. She moved to stand, and when she straightened, her dress snagged on her heel, catching her off-guard and sending her scrambling rearward. She grappled blindly for the ladder, but missed it and smashed unceremoniously into a work cart loaded to the gills with tools.

A tremendous crash reverberated around the hangar, and Mara had to cover her head protectively when tools rained down on her.

00000

Luke jerked awake when a huge crash sounded just below his ship. He felt a flash of pain and embarrassed chagrin.

Luke glanced down and spotted a scattered set of tools just visible under the wing of his starfighter. And among the mess, he caught a glimpse of something purple… attached to a very familiar presence.

"Mara?"

Luke clamored out of the cockpit, and then saw the full picture. She lay half sprawled, half defensively curled among a multitude of heavy tools. And even worse, the large, heavy equipment cart was lying atop her.

"Mara!"

Luke rushed to her side, hurling the cart away from her with the Force. She was trembling slightly, probably from the shock of the impact. Luke cleared away the rest of the equipment surrounding her.

"Are you alright?" He inquired worriedly.

Luke used the Force to check for any major damage, but she pushed his hands away.

"I'm fine, Luke." She said kindly. "I tripped; it's nothing to worry about."

Luke helped her up, wondering why she was here. When last they had spoken, she'd made it very clear he wasn't welcome.

"Luke," Mara began, taking his hand. "I was wrong to treat you as I did. And now that I know why you did what you did… I feel awful!"

Luke closed his eyes. "But there was some truth to your… accusations." He said softly. "Sometimes I think I do put our family in second place, even when I don't realize it."

Mara placed a gentle hand on his cheek. "No, Luke, you don't."

Luke shook his head, breaking away. "I understand now why you were so upset. I know you always have a hard time with the Endor Days celebration: so do I. I've learned to live with, but I know why it's harder for you."

"But when someone threatens Ben…" He sighed bitterly. "I should have responded more to that, it's just…"

Luke broke off, not really sure what else to say. Mara touched him through the Force, and he winced.

"Please look at me." Mara pleaded gently.

Luke obliged, and when their eyes met, he felt her warm caress.

"I overreacted on the Ben thing, Luke." She informed him. "And because I was already worked up over this stupid holiday, it just kept stacking up. And finally I just lost it… as you well know." She offered her most penitent gaze. "I am so sorry Luke. I never should have taken my anger out on you. I guess my anger exploded, and you happened to be in the crosshairs."

Luke came forward, and rested his forehead on hers. "Mara, we both knew that when we had Ben, everyone would expect great things from him, simply because of his name. And yes, when people pin nasty things on him, it bothers me. But I try not to let it overwhelm or control me." He looked at her. "But it does not mean I love him, or you, any less."

"I know. I really do Luke." She said. "And I promise I will try to do the same."

She brought her hand up again, gently cupping his face. "Please forgive me, Luke."

He tenderly took her chin in his own hand, and brought her lips to his. He opened to her, allowing his Force presence to merge with hers. He allowed his love and acceptance to flow into her, telling Mara without words that he would always forgive her, no matter what. She snaked her arms around him, pulling him close and deepening their kiss.

When they broke apart, she laid her head against his chest, listening to the comforting beat of his heart.

"You are always so good to me." Mara whispered. "Sometimes I feel like I don't deserve you."

Luke tightened his hold on her. "Don't ever believe that for one second, Mara. You are my world."

She smiled against his chest. "I know. I, uh, found your note."

"Oh." He chuckled. "Well, good."

She pulled back, settling a wry look at him. "So did you taste the nectar?"

He offered a happy smile. "Indeed I did." He winked. "And it tastes so much sweeter when you're making up to me."

She punched his arm in mock anger, and he laughed.

"Where is Ben?" Luke asked, suddenly thinking of their son.

"With Leia." Mara answered, running a finger along his arm. "She's keeping him for the night, so that I can make up to you some more."

He smiled, and she tugged on his tunic, pulling him toward the Jade Shadow. Luke willingly followed, and Mara closed the hatch behind them. She then pulled him close, and kissed his cheek.

"You look beautiful by the way." Luke said in her ear as he nuzzled her neck.

"Ben really has good taste." Mara replied, glancing down. "Help me out of it?"

Luke grinned. "I like this making up business."

"I'll bet."

They retired to their cabin, and welcomingly spent the rest of the night together.