TMNT is taking over my life...
And this is what happens. I regret nothing.
Warning; This story will contain T-cest. No like, no read.
Pairing; Leonardo/Raphael (Slightly Leo/Karai)
Rating; M
Disclaimer; I do not own TMNT.
Based on the 2k12 series.
Enjoy your stay!

"So, ya wanna tell me the reason ta how and why ya got me alone and hidden here on tha roofs with ya? Ya got my attention long ago pal, and I'm all ears now so spill it."

Casey was frowning; his lips tightly pressed together and both arms crossed over his torso as he glared down towards the green form sitting on the edge of the building. With his battled and scarred shell facing his human friend, Raphael let out a tiresome sigh and rearranged the sentences in his head once again as he still wondered if this was a good idea to begin with. Never had he thought that this would come out-never had he dared to even utter these things he was about to reveal-. It was a horrible thing he'd been keeping locked up in his heart and mind; hoping for it to never creep up and turn the people he loved against him on its way.

Nonetheless here he was; alone with his human friend on one of the many roofs that stood high and mighty in the big city, not ready in the least to spill his gut to the other, but still he found himself preparing for the worst outcome possible. And who could really blame him? Raphael was known of many great things- great at expressing his emotions, great at acting on his instinct rather than orders, great at combat fighting- but being great at talking about himself was none of them great things he was known for. At all.

Sure there had been some occasions where he'd been almost forced to speak of his inner feelings and thoughts. One of them being when Spike-or rather Slash now- had become mutated, and Raphael had to go up against him. It was a horrible experience-feeling such as hate, loathe and anger dwelled inside of the red-clad turtle- since Raphael knew that if he didn't fought back, Slash would go after his brothers again and this time finish the job. At the same time he felt sadness, compassion, he was afraid-scared of the fact that if he didn't finish him off his brothers would suffer more than they already had- but most of all he was afraid of the simple fact that he might lose his one best friend forever.

In the end the inevitable and worst outcome possible occurred and Raphael kept himself locked in inside his room for days after that incident. He refused any company or comfort from his family, and the only times he went out of his room was to get a snack to eat or go to the bathroom, which only occurred once everyone was soundly asleep in their beds.

One night though was different. On one of these night when the red-clad turtle just had gotten something to ease his hurting throat with and was about to retreat to his room, he'd found himself caught under a gentle but sad stare and later two arms that wrapped themselves around his muscular body and shell. Raphael became frozen in place, so to speak, but it didn't last long as he then begun to struggle for freedom under his blue hued older brother grasp. Said older brother however did not only tighten his hold on the hot-head, but also whispered small soothing words with such gentle tone in his voice that Raphael almost doubted that it was the same leader-Leonardo before him. His words were effective nonetheless as Raphael not only ceased the struggle, but also brought his own slightly quivering arms around the thinner torso before him and awkwardly returned the embrace. It was then he cracked. Small whimpers dared to escape from his mouth as his older brother continued to ease his shell with light strokes along with those tentative and calming words which only made Raphaels already made resolution of not crying cease to exist, and in a matter of second he found himself clutching closer to his brother; crying freely and desperate against Leonardos plastron.

Even though that happened months ago, Raphael had not been confronted nor asked about that whole scene from none of his brothers or father. Raphael had guessed that his dear oh-so-formal brother would walk straight to Splinter and tell him about Raphaels cracking self and emotional crises, but not even once had his old man made any signs that he knew of the little...'incident' that took place in his own kitchen. Leonardo himself has not said anything nor done anything regarding the whole event that took place all those months ago. Not that Raphael complained, he'd rather let his still fragile feelings sort themselves out and calm down until he even dares to speak about them again, but at the same time it wasn't like old fearless to go soft on him and give him some time alone. He appreciated it nonetheless, but this new aspect he'd gained regarding his brother, the days he'd been watching him and waiting for him to confront him, had grown and starting to get on his nerves since his older brother had been on his mind a bit too much for his liking.

It wasn't until maybe 2 month after that incident that Raphael had started to notice these small things that Leonardo did occasionally and unwittingly. Like for instance when he ate a slice of pizza he almost always let his chin touch the tip of his fingers once he was done eating, or when he made a cup of tea he always let the cup rest on his pinky finger instead of letting it stand on the table. These were all small things that Raphael had never paid attention to before, and he found it slightly disturbing for being able to see them now. These small gestures were not even that big of a deal, but heck did them all have the power to make him stare in amazement like he'd just found out the cure for cancer or what?

These...small motions and habits which the older turtle subconsciously gave away was only the beginning though. Three or four months after when he'd started to notice them he'd also found himself inhaling his brothers scent once he was close numbers of times, or even worse he'd found himself giving in to Leonardos orders just because said brother had been staring him down with those deep blue hues of his. He'd even felt guilty one time when he had given his older brother a good right fist shoot to the face after they had started to argue about something which he now could not remember. He had not apologized for the hit, but he'd felt, as said before, guilt dwell up inside of him the second his right fist met with his brothers smooth green skin.

After that Raphael begun to confront his own thoughts and emotions as there clearly was something wrong with him for reacting completely different than what he usually did when being around his blue-clad brother. But nothing of what he could think of did neither make sense or didn't match with his abnormal behavior in the slightest.

The days become longer for Raphael the more he thought of it, and even as he himself thought it was pretty obvious that he was acting weird- or weirder than normal as Mikey would put it- none of his brothers asked him what was wrong, or maybe they didn't even know? Maybe they just didn't pay attention to him, or maybe they just thought it was something concerning a small matter and wasn't important in the slightest... Either way he was happy they hadn't asked as he was sure he wouldn't know how or what to answer them.

It wasn't until a month ago that he finally got a grip of what it was that had started to grow inside of him under these many months. They had been on their usual mission on finding the mutagen down town, and after 2 hours of searching they finally found the canister in a deep alleyway in the more 'filthy' part of the big town. While making their small triumph and Michelangelo dancing in happiness, they didn't notice the unwelcome guests up on the rooftops until it was too late for them to retreat. Footbots were everywhere and nowhere as they kept attacking the 4 terrapin creatures; adapting to their every move and skill and hit back with 10th times the strength as the last blow that they had given. It wasn't until their dear and oh-so-not-beloved- Karai joined in on the fun and decided to stubbornly fight the oldest of the turtles alone in a one-on-one combat fight while the rest of them got to dance with the remaining footbots. It wasn't that Raphael was afraid that Leonardo would get hurt, he was well aware that his older brother could take care of himself against someone equally as strong as himself, but deep down in his subconscious screamed a voice high enough to be heard that it was a bad idea to let him fight Karai alone on this specific night.
Although before he could act on his instinct and join his leader side it was already too late as he found himself now staring at his older brother and their arch nemesis daughter exchanging breathes and saliva with their lips tightly pressed together.

What first hit him was the unendurable disgust that turned his gut upside-down, but when he noticed that Leonardo didn't do anything to fight back the sneaky bitch but instead let her continue with harassing his mouth, something else in Raphael cracked and he could literally feel the cringing pain that welled out from inside his chest area and crept around in his arteries.

It was like someone suddenly poured icing water on him as he in that moment finally figured out to what these abnormal feelings had been this whole time. He'd been oblivious to the obvious and simply ignored that these feelings might actually be...

That was one month ago, and he still hadn't confronted his older brother and asked to why he'd been making out with their enemy, with her. Not that he'd ever dared to ask now, but he'd expected Leonardo to at least apologize for being all lovely-dovely with the enemy, but no. He didn't even glance over at his brothers in an apologetic stare or anything! Nothing proved that he was truly sorry for what he'd done in that alley, which shouldn't be much of a surprise to anyone since they all knew Leonardo held special feelings for Karai, but making out in the middle of a fight? Was he that desperate to get together with her? Apparently that was the case...But Raphael still couldn't comprehend these affections he held towards brother which he'd recently realized, and although he'd been telling himself many times that it's practically impossible and the chance is second to none, he still couldn't shake them off and he found himself unconsciously staring at his brother more than once every day.

This all bring us back to why he's on the roof together with his human friend Casey, and he's finally ready to spill his gut to the one person he's expecting to keep quiet.
In these past months he have been going crazy just being in the same room as his brother, and recently he have even been having these fantasies of his leader which always leaves him hot and bothered with a cold shower. In short, he's tired of keeping this inside, and he's willing to risk his friendship with Casey just so he can get someone to know about these...feelings.

"Gettin' old here dude..."

Finally Raphael cleared his throat and started off with a light voice tainted with a hint of embarrassment. He prayed to the lord that Casey didn't catch it.

"I- I just need ta get this off of my chest, and yer the only one I can really talk ta 'bout this so...Hear me out, 'kay?"

While he still had his shell facing Casey, he didn't need to turn around to know that his human friend held a confused expression on his face. It made the turtle slightly nervous of what he was about to tell him since he know that he's risking his friendship if he do tell him, but Raphael is desperate and if he doesn't do anything now he feel he might just explode out of exhaustion.

"Sure pal, anything you say. I'll listen." Casey assured him, and believe it or not but those few words made the hot-head feel like he might actually manage this and keep his friend at the same time.

Here goes nothing...!

"I've got feelings for someone...Like, the pesky kind of feeling where ya can't stop wanting ta touch them or watch them." He started, still not turning around to face the other behind him. Not that it would have mattered now anyway since Casey took the pleasure of seating himself next to Raphael.

" 'kay, well nothin' I expected to hear from you, since well yer a turtle. Ain't that many chicks that swing that way, man. No offence."

"Some taken..." he replied dryly but couldn't surpass a small smile as he heard his friend's small snicker and apology. "Sad ta say it ain't a girl I'm fallin' for then."

That however made the human snap his head towards his reptile friend and stare in a somewhat puzzled expression, or rather a more conserved one perhaps? Either way Raphael have never felt so open and vulnerable, judgmental and scared in his whole life. He was fully open to his friend who could now judge him or simply go along with it. He felt so small compare to his friend who at the moment took the opportunity to sigh loudly and place a hesitated hand on Raphaels shoulder as of showing comfort.

"Raph, yer a cool dude an' all, but you of anyone should know that I'm targetin' a certain-"

Quickly Raphael cut him off with a single motion with his hand, slowly frowning but later laughing as he found himself staring at a really bashful Casey Jones. Clearly Casey had gotten this all completely wrong in the most humorous way possible.

Finally between laughs and gasps he succeeded in forming words."D-don't flatter yerself, vigilante. 's not you I'm havin' trouble not ta touch."

Snorting, the human frowned at the insult but felt relived nonetheless that it was not him that Raphael had the hots for. But this only meant that there was someone else that Raphael had feelings for, which also weren't a girl but a guy.

"Then if it ain't yer handsome neighborhood vigilante, then who-"

"If I say it ain't a girl or a human, does it make things easier for ya?"

This seemed to snap something in Casey as his face suddenly lit up with first a shocked expression, then later a more understanding and smug one. Raphael wasn't so sure if he liked the look Casey was giving him as it felt to Raphael like Casey knew something which he didn't. Nonetheless Raphael was pretty sure his human friend finally caught up and understood what it was he was trying to admit.

"I knew ya and that fish stick had somethin' goin' on!"

But once again he was proven wrong...

Raphael could only stare in amazement and disgust at his friend's stupidity. Had he just heard right? How could Casey even think that him and Fishface-

"HOW do ya put two and two togetha and make it so that I've got tha hots for the fish?!" He voiced his inner question, mentally face palming himself over how incredibly stupid this human was. It was almost equally to Mikey.

Casey only shrugged and glanced down on the empty streets below.

"Ya gotta admit that that fish and ya have a bond that's not only with ya bein' the hero and him bein' the bad guy." He simply stated, and Raphael could do nothing but shake his head in defeat.

"Look, Fishface is nothin' more than a bad guy who I just happen ta enjoy beatin' up more than the regular ones. There's nothin', repeating nothin', else there is ta that. I've got no feelings for him in the slightest!" he spat out, grimacing as he thought of the idea of him and fishface ever being more than enemies.

"Geez Raph, could've just said so. No need ta get that worked up 'bout it." came the calm and slightly humoring reply from the man. "So, it's no bad guy ya got-"

"No." Raphael cut him of, frowning and now not even bothering to turn to watch his friend's expression as he was too fixed with his eyes on one of the street light below.

There was a pause for a moment, and although Raphael couldn't-or rather wouldn't- see the others face he felt in the air around them that Casey clearly wanted to ask something but hesitated to do so. That is until he finally dared to speak.

"Is it one of yer brothers?" he asked timidly, which Raphael was grateful for 'cause hearing him say that only made him feel like he'd committed a crime of some sort.

There was another moment of silence and the terrapin felt more awkward that words failed to describe how horrible he felt. Once again he found himself at the mercy for his best friends' judgment and he could only wait for Casey to start questioning him.

"...Yeah." he finally said, nodding slowly towards no one but the street below them.

" 's it Mikey?" he then suddenly asked, sounding completely serious one can get and Raphael hastily turned around with a clear frown and disgust on his face.

"Heck no! Why would ya even think him and I- ya know what, never mind. I don't wanna know."

" 's it Don then? Ya and him got lots of things in common." He continued, not even bothering to get mad about Raphaels behavior.

The red-clad turtle only sighed and once again turned around so that he faced the street. "No... 's not him either."

"Then-"

"Yeah, it's Leo..."