I don't own Harry Potter, but I am a co-owner for WWW.

"Gred, old boy?"

"Yes, Feorge, old chum?"

"I reckon by now all those ickle firsties will be-"

"-snug in bed? Relaxing after-"

"-not needing to fight a troll? Not even-"

"-thinking that some right respectable-"

"-handsome-" Both boys chimed in together.

"Right. Handsome, young lads might be-"

"-getting ready to welcome them properly to our school?"

"Mate, you took the words right out of my mouth."

One twin looked at the other, and identical grins spread across their faces. Bright shocks of hair were well hidden beneath two identical black knit hats as the boys crouched in a dark corner of the Common Room and waited. They had been anticipating this night for the last two years. The night when their ickle brother came to Hogwarts. Because as satisfying as it was to prank the new Gryffindors, it was infinitely more satisfying now that their baby brother was part of it.

Chuckled to themselves they readied their ammo of dungbombs, feathers and glue and checked over their plan once more. They had always felt lucky that their twin magic gave them an edge in their pranks. They never needed to say much to be perfectly understood by the other. So there was very little chance of their being overheard and caught.

"First, ickle Ronnikins. Then to the left."

"Then to the right. Light the bomb-"

"-set the wires-"

"Then run like the dungeon bat himself was after us!"

"Brilliant." They agreed as Fred pulled a faded piece of parchment out of his pocket.

"Care to do the honors, George?" He unfolded it and presented it like a crown to a king.

"With great pleasure, Fred!"

Clearing his throat dramatically, George tapped the parchment with his wand and intoned, "I solely swear I am up to no good!"

The magic of the map spread across the parchment and the familiar greeting from the Mauraders filled the page. Grinning both boys leaned over the map and found the fifth year boys dormitory.

As they scanned the map they smirked. It seems they were in luck. Prefect Percy was tucked cozily in bed, nary a care in the world. Well, it was certainly time to do something about that!

"Excellent. Right, brother of mine let's-" Fred started to fold up the map and stand, but George put a hand out to stop him, a confused look on his face.

"Just a moment. Hello, what's this?" He spread out the map again and trained his eyes on the first year boys dormitory.

Fred followed his twins line of sight and looked for what the other red head had spotted. It didn't take him long, and when he did both boys shared a look and a low whistle.

"Fred, unless the map has lost it-"

"Which is highly unlikely."

"True. Then some slimly old codger is in our little brother bed right now."

The twins sat still for a moment more before coming to a silent agreement. Nodding they stood and crept silently up the stairs, carefully to step over the trick step. Moving like two shadows they entered their little brothers dormitory and over to his bed.

The drapes were drawn shut and their older brotherly instincts were yelling at them that this was not good. So carefully they eased one of the corners open, wands drawn and ready to start hexing the daylights out of someone. But they were surprised to only see Ron snoring away with his pet rat on his pillow snoring just as loudly.

They eased back out and pulled out the map again. Sure enough there it was, 'Peter Pettigrew', showing sitting just to the left of Ron. But there was no one there but the bloody rat! Fred stared at the two for a moment more, then froze as a horrible thought crossed his mind.

Motioning frantically to his twin they hurried back down to the Common Room.

"Odd, the map must be on the fritz. The only living things there are Ron and that stupid fat rat." George looked at his twin and frowned at the serious look on his face. "Or not…"

"George, how many times have we kept clear of Mrs. Norris because of the map? Does it ever show anything but her name?" He already knew it didn't, but he needed to see if his twin would think the same way.

"Never, it only shows real names, even if they don't want you to know their real name. Odd, I wonder why Scabbers didn't show up on…the…map….Unless he does. Just not as Scabbers." Two pairs of brown eyes were wide in horror as it clicked. Some bloody sodding git was pretending to be their little brother pet!

With a shared sigh they stood up and walked towards the portrait hole.

"McGonagall's not going to like this one bit." Fred reasoned as they made their way to their head of houses' chambers.

"True," George said with a shrug. Then with a small grin he said, "But I'll bet the memory of when she-"

"-catches the dirty rat will go for-"

"-ten galleons a piece when we sell it."

Clapping a hand on his twins shoulder Fred grinned back, "Brother of mine, I like the way we think!"

A/N's: I hope you enjoyed that one shot! It occurred to me that Fred and George have a magic map they can use to see anyone in Hogwarts and for three years they have to have seen some creeper named Peter hanging around their little brother, but they do nothing. What?

Thanks to Shona-Ann for reading my insomnia scribbles again!

This will remain a oneshot unless inspiration falls from the sky in the form of a muse, or reviews *hint hint*. Have a nice day!