Alison's POV (Alison's Basement):

I sigh and set my wine glass down on the table. She's gone. Beth's gone. It has to be my fault. I shouldn't have let her know that I liked her, that I had feelings for her, I did and now she's gone. She's gone and it's all my fault. I'm the reason that she's not here anymore. I sometimes wonder what would have happened if she didn't die. What would be different? We might not have met Sarah. I don't think that I would mind not having met Sarah though, if I got Beth back in return. I needed her. I still need her.

I wonder if she would have liked Sarah. I think she would have. I think that if she was still here she and Sarah would be driving me crazy. I sometimes wonder if Sarah could have saved her. If she had seen her fast enough, realized what was happening fast enough, then I wouldn't be here alone right now. Every time I think of having her back here, I remind myself that there is a reason for everything. That doesn't work though. Saying that there is a reason for it doesn't make the hurt any better, it just makes you feel stupid for feeling it. I wonder if I would have divorced Donnie had she still been here. I probably would have. I probably still going to. She would have wanted me to, with all of this monitor stuff happening. I think she just wanted me to be safe.

I'm tired and I long to go to sleep but I know as soon as I head upstairs I'll think of her. I need a night where I don't think of her. Where I don't see myself in the mirror and then cry myself to sleep, because she's not here anymore. So I pick up my glass and I drink. It helps drown my feelings and that feels good. I've had at least a glass a night since I found out, normally more. It's becoming a habit and I know that she wouldn't want that. I know that she didn't want me to ever hurt so she probably wouldn't want me hurting now but that's her fault. She left without saying goodbye and now I cry myself to sleep every night unable to go a minute without thinking about her.

A/N: So, I've decided to write a series of Soccer Cop drabbles basically whenever I get inspiration or requests. If any of y'all have a request I'd love to write it (Keeping it T & under). (Excuse any writing errors, I'm just typing this in the Copy-N-Paste section and reading over it a couple of times before I post it so any errors are because I'm over tired.)