DISCLAIMER: Don't own the show. Shocker.
I really have no idea where this came from.
Regina didn't know what she had expected.
Emma was hardly an apt student at magic; there was no reason Regina should have anticipated she'd be any better at learning to horseback ride. Regina resisted the urge to just give in to frustration and took a moment to collect what little patience she had left. "He isn't going to hurt you, Emma," Regina repeated for what felt like the thousandth time. "He's been well trained, and this particular horse has a very calm temperament. You don't need to be afraid of him."
Emma was still eyeing the gelding with some apprehension. "I don't even like dogs, Regina. What the hell makes you think I can do this?"
"Because you need to," the brunette answered curtly. "Now watch me." She held out a hand, and the bay horse's ears pricked as he turned toward her before stepping forward and sniffing at her. Warm breath blew onto her palm, accompanied by the soft tickle of whiskers, and Regina had to bite back a sudden sob as she remembered nights spent crying into Rocinante's chestnut neck and the way he always seemed to know when she was feeling sad. Thankfully her back was facing Emma, so the blonde princess didn't see the momentary gleam of tears in Regina's eyes before Regina was able to wrestle them back. Lifting a hand to pat the gelding's neck, she turned to Emma and motioned. "Just let him smell your hand; it's his way of getting to know you and saying hello."
Regina swore she heard Emma whimper slightly, but she slowly approached, the tension radiating off of her in waves. Catching the younger woman by the arm, Regina said, "Relax, Emma. He can sense that you're nervous. There's nothing to be afraid of, and if he does start acting up, I'll help you."
Emma took a deep breath and nodded. "I'm sorry, I just….I've never been much of an animal lover, and I've never been around a horse in my entire life. They're huge."
"You're just not used to them." Regina released her grip and stepped back slightly, giving an expectant tilt of her head. Emma visibly forced herself to relax, lifting a slightly shaking hand toward the gelding. The horse gave a low nicker, and Emma flinched, but then he nuzzled her palm and she giggled slightly.
"It tickles."
"It does," Regina affirmed with a small smile, watching some of the tension drain from the blonde's body. Gently Emma rubbed the horse's velvet muzzle, a grin slowly appearing on her face as he pushed his head against her fingers. Her free hand came up to lightly touch the horse's dark mane before pulling back quickly, as if afraid of being bitten. The horse snorted and flicked his tail but otherwise didn't react to the abrupt movement. "Don't move suddenly," Regina warned as she smoothed a hand down the gelding's neck. "It can spook them."
Emma cast a curious look at the brunette. "You know a lot about horses. I mean, I know everyone in this land rides, but you sound like you really know what you're talking about."
Regina looked away from Emma, focusing on the door of the stall. "I always loved them," she said quietly. "They never care who you are or what you're doing with your life. Treat them well and you'll have a loyal companion." Daniel's voice echoed briefly in her head, seeming to come from lifetimes away as she repeated his words. "And there's nowhere you can't go together."
Emma didn't say anything, just scratching the horse's forehead and tracing the outline of the small white patch that stood out against his dark brown hair. Finally she looked up at the former queen, a softness in her eyes that Regina had never seen there before. "What's his name?"
"He doesn't have one, actually," Regina replied after a moment. "You should fix that."
Emma looked up at the horse, and a sad smile crossed her face. "Gold. His name is Gold."
And Regina had to agree it was a fitting tribute.
"Well done," Regina called, reining in her mare as she watched Emma smoothly transition from a trot to a canter. The blonde hardly even looked nervous any longer at the faster gait, managing to find her seat admirably well for a beginner. At the beginning of their first lesson almost three weeks before, Emma could barely figure out how to balance in the saddle, but now she was able to take small jumps with barely any effort at all. Regina had been somewhat surprised at the younger woman's progress; although she had much less experience than any of the other denizens of the Enchanted Forest, Emma possessed a certain knack for horses.
Regina urged Battlefire into a trot, intending to tell Emma to drop back to that same gait, but then she caught a flicker of movement out of the corner of her eye. A hare flashed out of the undergrowth, undoubtedly startled by the thundering of Gold's hooves near its hiding place. Horror surged through Regina as Gold whinnied in alarm, rising up on his back legs and pawing the air before taking off. She could hear Emma scream and caught a glimpse of the blonde hauling on the reins before Gold vanished over the other side of the hilltop.
For a split second Regina felt as though she were in a time warp, watching a small black pony racing through the pastures of her childhood home with a dark-haired girl clinging to its back and screaming for help. A sinister whisper slithered through the back of her mind: Look at what happened the last time you saved someone. If you let her die then you'll be safe…
But she was no longer the Evil Queen and Emma was not only the mother of her son, but also her friend—a gift she'd never expected to obtain after everything she'd done. "Hah!" Regina roared, digging her heels into Battlefire's gray flanks, and with a neigh the mare leapt into a ground-eating gallop. The former queen bent low over her horse's neck as they crested the hill, eyes fixed on the alarmingly small figures about four hundred yards away. Dammit, Snow White, can you and your family never cease to cause me trouble?
Battlefire was a bit smaller then Gold, but she managed to gain on him as they sped over the grass. The ground here was uneven and if Gold stumbled or fell, he could easily hurt Emma—even kill her, she thought with a chill. Adrenaline pumped through her veins as Battlefire leaped over a ditch, and in spite of the panic Regina couldn't help but feel a small jolt of excitement and joy. It had been far too long since she had just let herself be one with a horse, feel the movement of her mount beneath her and take happiness from the wind in her hair. For just a heartbeat, the former queen closed her eyes and concentrated solely on the drumming of Battlefire's hooves, feeling the beats resonate in her bones like a song she wasn't even aware of knowing until she heard it.
But this wasn't the time to lose focus. Regina's eyes snapped open and refocused on the panicked horse in front of her. They were almost level with Gold's hindquarters. Just a little more and she could grab his reins, slow him down…
Regina asked for even more speed from her mare, and the gray didn't disappoint: Her legs moved faster, and after a moment they drew level with Gold and Emma. Looking over, the brunette saw that Emma had given up on stopping Gold and instead was leaning forward with her arms around his neck and her face buried in his mane. "Emma!" Regina shouted, reaching out with her right hand to grab the bay's reins. "Emma, it's okay! Whoa!"
Gold didn't stop galloping, but she felt his speed slacken and tugged at her own reins to slow Battlefire down. Gradually the gelding dropped from a gallop to a fast canter, then a trot and a walk before finally slowing and letting his head drop. He was shaking, sides heaving as breath gusted from his nostrils, and Regina spared a second to pity him before turning her attention to his rider. "Emma?"
The blonde looked at her, face white and green eyes wide in terror, and Regina inwardly flinched as she remembered that exact look when the hospital had called both of them about Henry. Regina swung her leg over Battlefire and dismounted, not bothering to keep ahold of the mare's reins; she was well-trained enough to stay put. "Emma, it's all right," Regina said softly, trying to soothe both horse and rider. "You're safe."
"Oh my god…." Emma looked ready to pass out, and Regina reached up to help as the blonde shakily dismounted. She had a split second to react before Emma's knees buckled, and Regina barely managed to catch her, allowing her own legs to bend so that they sank to the ground together. Emma hid her face in Regina's shoulder, trembling so violently that it seemed as though she would simply crumble to pieces, and fisted her hands on the back of the other woman's riding coat. Old instincts kicked in and Regina began to stroke Emma's hair the way she had once done to Henry when he would come to her in the night after something disturbed his sleep. "Oh my god, Regina," the blonde cried, "I couldn't even…..I was so….I'm never fucking riding again….."
Regina fought the completely misplaced urge to smile at how much Emma sounded like her mother in that moment. "Yes, you will," she said soothingly. "But that can wait. Are you hurt?"
"N-no." Regina felt Emma's headshake against her shoulder. "Just traumatized."
Regina just sat there for a moment with Emma in her arms, allowing the younger woman to regain some of her composure. When Emma's ragged breaths began to even somewhat, Regina laughed softly. "You're more like your mother than I realized."
"What?" Confused, slightly wet green eyes looked into brown.
"We met because I saved her when her horse ran past me in the pasture," Regina said slowly, the memory still a little bit painful even after the passage of so many years. "Neither of us knew at the time, but…..my mother was aware that her father—your grandfather, I suppose—was looking for a new bride, and…she purposely spooked Snow's horse because she knew I would be out with Rocinante."
Emma sat quietly for a moment, not seeming to notice that Regina hadn't let go even though her terror had all but faded. "That's terrible," she said finally, nose wrinkling in a combination of disgust and anger. "My mom could have died."
"There were times afterwards when I wished she had," Regina whispered, although it was more to herself than Emma.
"If she did, you wouldn't have Henry," Emma pointed out. "Neither would I, actually. I met Neal because of the curse; if you'd never cast it…."
The thought was both startling and terrifying, more so the latter after nearly losing her son so many times and being forcibly separated for a year. Regina blinked hard a few times before noticing at last that she was still hugging Emma and dropping her arms as though burned. Emma looked surprised at first and then cleared her throat awkwardly. "Um, anyways, thanks. I'd probably be halfway to Narnia if you hadn't come after me," the blonde joked with a small grin.
Regina's brows met. "Narnia?"
"Never mind. Can we walk back? I really don't feel like riding…." Emma cast a nervous glance at Gold, who nickered softly and rubbed his head against her shoulder as if to apologize. Regina took a few seconds to wryly note that the universe must be laughing its ass off before answering.
"You can't let fear stop you. If you fall off the horse, you have to get right back on."
"Did you tell Mary Margaret that?" Emma asked curiously, and Regina couldn't for the life of her make the word 'No' cross her lips.
"Yes, I did. And she was back on a horse in a few days." That brought up a whole host of painful memories, but Regina firmly shoved them away. She swung back up onto Battlefire's back. "You can walk if you'd like, but don't think I'll let you slack off on your lessons because of this."
"Slave driver," Emma grumbled, but there was a smile tugging at the corner of her mouth as she took Gold's reins. "Hey, Regina?"
Regina looked over and quirked an eyebrow, and Emma smiled again. "I owe you one."
That night she dreamed of Daniel, of sweet kisses stolen in the hay and moonlight rides that even Cora could not take away. For a long time, ever since Regina had earned the title "Evil Queen", Daniel rarely appeared in her dreams, and when he did, she always relived the night when she had lost him. But this night she dreamed of happiness, of love and the promise of freedom. And when Regina woke, his last words echoed in her ears, words that she was not sure he'd ever uttered in life but knew rang true nevertheless: "I'm proud of you."
It was more than benediction.
It was, at long last, forgiveness.