"Dinner is served! Mystery croquettes for everyone!" The mom of the Mankanshoku household dropped a heaping plate of the mystery meat on the table, nearly snapping it's legs from the weight of it.

"Itadakimasu!" The entire Mankanshoku family began their ceremonial dinner slaughter which consisted of annihilating their food with their faces.

But two occupants of the dinner table did nothing except glare at each other over the food. And those occupants were Mako's two girlfriends, Satsuki Kiryuin and Ryuko Matoi.

"Your two girlfriends aren't eating again!" Mako's little brother Mataro sprayed his food everywhere.

"Let them glare, it keeps the croquettes piping hot!" Mako's mother encouraged.

"Son, they don't need to eat! Have you seen their full figures? I have!" Mako's father said with a leer in Satsuki's direction only to find himself with a sword at his throat.

"The only reason you haven't undergone the blood purge is because you are my future father-in-law." Satsuki's voice was so cold the man froze solid on the spot. Dressed in her immaculate white uniform the president of the student body couldn't have looked more out of place in the run-down shack of a house. Then a mystery crumb landed on her hair and the family dog Guts farted on her, but she didn't seem phased in the least.

"What's the matter, Satsuki?" Ryuko smirked cockily at the other woman. "Can't handle a peeping tom?"

"You're right, dad, these knockers are already stuffed!" Mataro exclaimed as he randomly appeared in Ryuko's lap.

"You little bastard!" Ryuko punched the kid straight out the window with a violent shattering of glass. The rest of the family didn't seem to notice or mind.

The one and only Mako Mankanshoku took the time out from her food annihilation to address her two lovers. "Ryuko-chan, President-chan, you have to eat!" She proceeded to stuff croquettes down Ruko's mouth. "If you don't eat, then this can't be considered a dinner date!" She zipped over to Satsuki's side. "And if you don't eat, you can't keep up your strength and sexiness!" She grabbed a handful of Satsuki's chest to emphasize her point, causing Ryuko to spit out a mouthful of croquette and growl at the sight.

"If you insist, Mankanshoku," Satsuki said in acceptance. She took the croquettes Mako fed her in stride, dutifully chewing them. Ryuko visibly seethed in jealousy, crossing her arms and muttering under her breath. Fortunately Mako had energy to spare for the both of them and reached over to give a couple of honks to Ryuko's chest as well.

"Must be nice to have two girlfriends," Mako's mother sighed dreamily.

"I'll say!" Mataro burst through the door as if he hadn't just flown out the window a minute ago. "How did you even land these two broads, anyway?"

"I may be an underachiever, but I'm super charming!" Mako declared.

"That's my girl!" Her father cheered.

"Ryuko," Senketsu's voice sounded as grave as ever. "How did this happen?"

"What? This farce of a dinner date or the fact that I agreed to share my girlfriend with the bitch that may or may not have had a hand in killing my father?!" Ryuko stage-whispered fiercely to her uniform.

"Well, yes, that, actually." Senketsu answered.

"I have no fucking idea!" Ryuko concluded, glowering at Satsuki across the table yet again.

"So if you have two girlfriends, who're you gonna marry?" Mataro asked. Ryuko and Satsuki both perked up at this question.

"I don't know!" Mako answered noncommittally through a mouthful of mystery food.

"Obviously its going to be me!" Ryuko boasted, a self-satisfied smirk on her face. "Me and Mako have a deeper bond!"

"You are greatly mistaken, Ryuko Matoi," Satsuki corrected her, a hint of a smirk tugging at her lips. "Mako will follow the way of the world and marry into money and security, which is with me."

"Why you..!" Ryuko stood up with her anger veins popping out of her skin.

"I need not mention how I am already wearing my wedding dress." Satsuki stood up as well. Ryuko's blood red scissor blade was pointing at her nose in the next second.

"As if that matters to Mako!" Ryuko sounded disgusted.

Mako stood between them, still evidently thinking to herself. "Hmm, guess it comes down to who has the better rack!"

Her mother looked so proud. "We raised her well, honey!"

Both Satsuki and Ryuko thrust their chests out with the confidence of people who have been naked in public more than a few times.

"That would be me!"

"There's no doubt that that is me!" Both girlfriends declared at the same time. Their intense glare doubled and it seemed to trigger their kamui transformation sequence.

"SATSUKIIIII KIIIIIRYUIN!" Ryuko roared passionately as she charged, smashing the croquette-littered table to pieces.

"RYUUUUKO MATOIIIII!" Satsuki snarled as she raised her sword to meet the scissor blade halfway. The force of their collision blew the house apart and sent the Mankanshoku family flying.

Mako's head popped up from under a heap of rubble after a few moments, the sounds of destruction from Ryuko and Satsuki's on-going battle for her heart still raging in the distance. "On second thought, maybe I'm too charming for my own good." Mako mused to herself.

...

"SATSUKIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!" Ryuko's blade slammed into Satsuki's own, before a spark flashed with enough heat to set a nearby shack on fire. The family ran out, only for a second slam to blow them all away.

"RYUKOOOOOOOOOO!" Satsuki screamed before her own sword shredded a nearby housing complex. They barrelled across the ground, crashing through trolleys, buses and people of all shapes and sizes.

"Mako is mine!" Ryuko shouted. "I've known her for longer! I love her more than you could ever hope to!"

"Then how does that explain why I fought my own mother's system just so that I could possibly marry her!" Satsuki sent a kick into Ryuko's midsection, and on the ground underneath a crater opened. "I would rip the stars asunder for her!"

"Oh you rewrote a fucking human thing for her!" Ryuko ground her sword against Satsuki's. "I loved her first! I always loved her! From the moment I set eyes on her and the moment she showed me around school!"

"You're a bold-faced liar! You didn't even catch her when she tried to hug you!"

Ryuko paused. "How the hell did you know about that?"

Satsuki smirked. "You just told me."

"YOU BIIIIIIIIIIIIITCH!" Her scissor blade went into decapitation mode, and immediately slashed apart an enormous chunk of Honnouji. Satsuki dodged it promptly, before she blocked it with her own katana.

And it was then that She noticed something. Both her and Ryuko's faces were really close to one another…

…Wait. Wouldn't that be cheating on Mako?

Just as she encountered that thought, Ryuko slammed her face into the ground with a surprise grab. "You littl-!"

"Stoooooooooooooop!" Both combatants stopped to see Mako running towards them, covered in bits of croquette and debris. "Stop it! I love both of you, so you can stop fighting now!"

They both paused long enough for Mako to jump up into the air and fly head-first into Ryuko's bosom. The small girl clung to her form as she hugged her hot-blooded girlfriend tightly. "Mako!" Ryuko said in exasperation at having her fight with her rival cut short. Satsuki looked ready to remove Mako from her by force.

"You both have wonderful racks! I love that about both of you!" Mako said placatingly. Both Ryuko and Satsuki seemed to relax at her words, faith restored in their awesome breasts. "Now you both have to promise not to fight over me anymore!"

"Oh c'mon!" Ryuko protested even as Satsuki laid down her sword.

"I promise." Satsuki said with a smug look in Ryuko's direction. "It goes to show who is the more dedicated partner, doesn't it, Matoi?"

"ARRRRRG!" Ryuko stomped over to her, steam puffing out of her mouth, ears, and nose, but Mako held her back.

"Promise me, Ryuko-chan!" She pleaded with her teariest most begging look the world has ever seen, chin propped on her breasts. It stopped Ryuko dead in her tracks.

"O-okay," Ryuko put her scissor blade down. "I won't fight Satsuki over you anymore..." She trailed off to displeased grumbling.

"Hurray!" Mako jumped off her of her to hug her two girlfriends by the waist, pulling them close. "Now make up!"

Both girlfriends frowned at each other, the hug bringing them closer to each other than they liked. When they opened their mouths to mutter half-hearted apologies, Mako put her hands on the backs of their heads and pushed their faces and lips together.

"Now kissss~" Mako sang in delight as eyes widened in surprise.

The two women flew apart and their swords were at each other's throats in the next second, simultaneously knocking aside their mutual girlfriend with a surprised "Wahoo!"

"You enjoyed that a little too much, Matoi!"

"Says you! I felt tongue!" Ryuko shot back, wiping her mouth off with the back of her hand.

Mako appeared between them with a HALLELUJAH. "Remember your promise! You two love me, so therefore, you must love each other!"

"Huh?" Both women said in confusion at Mako's logic.

"It makes perfect sense! All three of us, together forever!" Mako shook out her bowl haircut in excitement. "Don't you think it would be the best thing ever?"

Ryuko and Satsuki shared a mutual look for the first time.

"No."

"Not in particular."

Mako shrugged, readily moving on. "Oh well, just a thought!" Her eyes lit up when she spotted a charred croquette on the ground. "Oh!"

Ryuko sighed, dispelling Senketsu's combat mode. "Why don't we call it a day, Kiryuin?"

Junketsu was also reduced to a mere white sailor pants suit. "Agreed."