Emptiness.

That's all I feel as I trudge up the steps.

Just emptiness. The person I loved was gone. Zoe.

My beautiful,sweet, kind Zoe.

After I get to our room, I shrug off my dirt-covered clothes.

There's a shallow grave out back that holds the body of the bitch who ruined everything. Who refused to think of others...

...Standing under the shower head, I begin to cry.

Why did this happen to her?

Why did she have to leave me?

Heavy sobs rake through my body. I'm not sure how long I stayed in there.

Ice cold water hits me. But, even then, I don't want to move.

Afterwards, I don't bother getting dressed.

What's the point?

Laying down on our bed, tears start to fall again.

The pillow smells like her. That unique mixture of lilac shampoo, the perfume she liked, and just the essence of Zoe.

Holding it tightly, I try to memorize that smell...

...We never got the chance to do so many things.

Go on out on a real date, slow-dance , or even give each other cheesy Valentine's Day cards.

Always thought there was time.

She was my forever.

I'm never going to see her walk towards me at the alter, or blush the night of our honeymoon. Grow old with her.

Hot tears cascade down my cheeks...

...What's the purpose of this second chance of life without her in it?

All I can feel is this emptiness.

Zoe was what made everything worth it.

All my life, I had this incompleteness inside of me. I tried to fix it, but nothing worked.

Masking my unhappiness with fake smiles and good deeds. Until I met her.

I had experienced something real and true.

Now, that feeling is gone. Died with her. The doe-eyed girl who thought she couldn't be loved. But she had been.

Oh, she had been truly loved.

I fell for her from the very beginning. As I stare at the wall, I let my mind wander back.

Back to all the events that have lead to this moment. To this heartache. Everything began with a party.

A stupid college party. When I first saw her, I knew there was something different there...

...She was gorgeous.

Walking timidly into the party. Her awkward manner was a dead give away that it wasn't her kind of thing.

Everyone else was focused on "Madison Montgomery" movie star.

But all I saw was her.

As I followed her with my eyes, I felt entranced.

When our stares locked, that feeling in me intensified.

I tried to take her all in.

Her honey eyes, the small smile on her heart shaped lips, long dark golden hair, amazing body, her porcelain skin.

She was perfect.

Walking up to her, I admit, I was nervous. But as the witty comment left her mouth, relaxation washed over me.

Clever and gorgeous. Who was she?

Seeing her smile and laugh made my heart do flips.

She was special...

...We talked for a while.

I had thought things were going great.

However, I was wrong.

She told me later that night that it wouldn't work between us.

I felt defeated.

But I didn't hold it against her.

If I couldn't have her in my life as a lover, a friend would due. That's why when she needed help finding Madison, I came to her aid.

And what I found disgusted me.

My frat, my brothers, taking advantage of her friend.

It was horrible. All I could think about was my mother.

I felt sickened.

Chasing them onto the bus, fighting, to get the video back. They had knocked me out.

The bus was suddenly mid-air.

Everything went black...

...The next thing I remembered was the feeling of a tender press to my lips.

A soft voice murmuring apologizes.

I followed that voice out of the darkness. Waking up, I noticed her.

Terrified and hidden beside a table. I had no idea what was going on but I felt protective of her.

I hit the man without so much as a second thought. Would have kept hitting him too if it wasn't for her hand grabbing my arm.

I looked up, confused. She looked petrified...

... At Misty's, I longed for her return. Seeing her again, I felt elated.

As she touched my scars, I felt pleasure.

While touching her hair, I felt content .

I had thought she was taking me to be with her. Not back to that hell hole I called home once before.

It wasn't her fault really; she didn't know what my mother really was.

Couldn't exactly tell her either...

...That night, as she touched me, I felt nothing.

I was a hollow shell at that place. I wanted Zoe, to leave with her and never go back.

When she tried again I was stone-like; not moving. But as soon as she started insulting Zoe, I felt rage.

She had no right to say the things she did.

That moment, I finally gained the courage to say no...

... Covered in blood, I banged my head on the tub repeatedly.

Rushing into the bathroom, she told me to stop.

I felt guilty.

Not for what I had done, but that I had made Zoe cry.

I couldn't stay there.

To much sorrow was brought to her because of me...

... Sitting in the tub, being washed by another person, I felt helpless.

Memories of my mother flashed in my mind.

Thrashing out at Misty was not the best thing to do; I know that now.

All of it was just so overwhelming. While I was flailing about the room, someone entered the cabin.

It was Zoe, she found me.

I rushed towards her, not caring I was naked. The need for her embrace, her touch, was too strong.

I felt vulnerable as I clung to her...

... When I put together that I wasn't all me anymore, I felt disgusted.

Why did this happen?

What was I?

Was I even me anymore?

I wailed in anger and confusion.

Glancing up, I saw Zoe. There was something in her hand.

A gun.

She tried explaining to me that it had to be done. That I was dangerous; a murderer. If she only knew why I did it.

I yanked the gun from her hands and, for a second, she thought I was going to shoot her.

I could never hurt her.

Even in a state of recklessness , I couldn't hurt her.

Placing the gun into my mouth, I was ready to welcome death. But she hurried over, trying to stop me.

By the time she got the gun out of my hands, we were both in hysterics.

Holding onto me, she admitted that she didn't want me to die...

... She tried to teach me things, but I got frustrated with myself.

I felt stupid.

I couldn't do even the simplest things. But she was patient.

Tried to reassure me of my abilities.

Soon after, Madison began to talk to me. Told me she understood how I felt and knew what I had been through.

I don't know why I did it.

Maybe it was the anger I felt about my situation? Or that I loved a girl that would never love me?

But when Madison started kissing me, I went with it.

Next thing I knew, I was fucking her against the dresser...

...Later that night, I sat on the bed. Waiting like I was told.

When Zoe stepped into the room, I studied her, lust consuming me.

She was gorgeous.

Still slightly damp from her shower, skin glistening, only covered with a white towel. A look of innocence on her face.

I made love to her that night.

I don't care if Madison was there. With Madison it was just , meaningless, emotionless sex.

I made love to Zoe.

I was gentle with her , worshiping. Treated her as if she was a fragile doll...

...The next few days, I felt captivated.

Infatuated with her.

She truly cared for me, actually wanted me to be able to communicate.

But she pushed away my advances.

I felt rejected...

...I worked for hours trying to say the simplest of words. Wanting so badly to impress her.

As she barged into the room, I could sense something was wrong. Getting up, I embraced her tightly. Attempting to bring her comfort like she had brought me.

But again, when I tried to kiss her, she turned me away.

I felt dumb.

Of course, why would she love a monster?...

...Hearing her say she wanted to take me somewhere else, I felt alarmed.

I couldn't be separated from her, not again.

Taking deep breaths, I tried to tell her how I felt.

The words from the game echoed through my head. "This road goes two ways."

It worked for this situation. She protected me, now I was going to protect her.

Confusion was on her face. I tried again, slowly getting the words out.

I made sure to look into her eyes when I said I loved her.

I felt nervous.

Waiting to see if she'd turn me away. To hear that she didn't feel the same.

But when she said those words back to me, I felt thrilled.

She loved me.

This hideous, freak of a man...

... A few days later, I could talk again.

I felt normal...

Well, somewhat.

Hearing Zoe say my name, caused me to glance up.

She seemed happy.

That night, I told her everything. Things I wanted her to know.

And she, in turn, did the same.

As I told her about my mother, she held me and when she told me she had killed people, I reassured her she wasn't evil.

We didn't judge each other's pasts

... When Nan died, I gave her comfort.

Her friend, her sister, was lost.

Zoe knew something wasn't right. She wanted to investigate it all for herself and find out the truth.

I watched as she recited a spell, trying so hard to find an answer.

Looks of wonder and amazement were present on my face. Then again, I always had that look when she did anything.

Trouble then came in the form of Madison Montgomery.

She treated me as if I was an object.

A toy she could play around with and use at her own whim...

...Seeing Madison kneel in front of me, attempting to unzip my jeans, I felt bewildered.

All I wanted was Zoe.

It was always Zoe.

I pushed her away, told her I didn't want her.

Objects started to shake and fall. A lamp flew from the nightstand and hit Zoe.

Demanding Madison to stop, I covered Zoe with my body. She had gotten hurt.

I never wanted her to get hurt.

By anyone...

....Later that night, she told me we were leaving.

I felt ecstatic.

We could find peace. However, the more I thought about it, the less I wanted to go.

What if I attacked her? Or worse, killed her?

I couldn't live with myself if that happened.

While she was packed, I knew had to say something. Tell her I couldn't go because of my fear of myself.

She insisted she wasn't scared of me; of what I was.

I wanted her to leave. Find safety far away from me, from the coven.

As she began to whisper in my ear, I was angry with myself. She was on the verge of tears because of me. But I had to know.

Know that she truly wasn't afraid. I grabbed her head, not hard, but not soft either.

Her eyes held a look of nervousness and knowing. She didn't try to run.

Instead, she stayed exactly where I held her.

She wasn't terrified...

...I felt happiness, true happiness when we got to the bus station.

We were free.

Free of the backstabbing and deception and secrets that the coven held. We could be truly happy.

She smiled and laughed so much our few days there. It was like she was glowing.

Her smile made me smile and her laugh made me laugh.

But I screwed everything up...

... I tried not to but, when that man was screaming at my Zoe, I couldn't help it.

I felt infuriated.

I heard her yell for me to stop but it was too late.

He was dead.

She crouched down near him and mumbled something.

He began to move...

... We headed back to the school that night.

I kept apologizing to her, for ruining our chance at a life., but she wouldn't have it.

She held no hatred towards me for what I'd done.

That was who she was.

One of the most forgiving, understanding people I had known.

Even when treated wrongly, she wanted to help you.

I loved that about her...

...I watched as she stabbed him.

Blood splattering onto her face, anger and conviction evident in her voice, the shear animalistic nature of the action.

That night, we couldn't control ourselves.

Seeing her like that did something to me.

We made love, over and over.

Hard and rough.

Soft and slow.

Against walls, on the bed, across the floor, even in the shower.

I spent the whole night showing her the effect she had on me...

...When I found out she would have to try and do the Seven Wonders, I felt frightened.

If she succeeded, she would be Supreme. But there was a chance she could die.

She practiced so much and worked so hard, had wanted to be able to do everything required.

That was something I admired, her determination and focus...

...As I kissed Madison, I forced myself not to be sick.

Her lips were rough and demanding.

Nothing like the kisses I had become accustomed to. Ones that were with soft lips, full of tenderness.

When Zoe controlled me to come to her, I went without resistance.

She didn't have to make me kiss her.

Her lips on mine were a welcoming feeling….

...Hearing her gasp for breath killed me inside.

I was choking her and couldn't do a thing about it.

The feel of her throat being crushed by my harmful hands I grimaced, trying so hard to stop myself.

Being thrown against the wall hurt.

Though it didn't compare to how much it hurt to know I did that.

I felt dreadful.

Zoe forgave me, she always did.

No matter how much I screwed up.

I kissed her, showing that Madison didn't even compare...

...Seeing her rise up, crying, startled me.

Her hell was me.

Me saying I didn't love her.

Holding her, I tried to make the pain go away.

Not wanting her to believe that for one second...

...She was having fun.

Seeing her smile and hearing her laughter was beautiful to me.

Watching her get so much joy out of a little kid's game.

I felt pleased.

I wanted her to feel like that always, not having to worry about everyone else.

Then everything turned to hell.

Suddenly, she was on top of the gate...

...I can't make that image go away. No matter how hard I try, I cant.

Seeing her like that.

Blood seeping from her mouth, stabbed in her stomach, gasping for breath.

It was horrible.

I knock the lamp over in fury. I don't understand why no one could fucking save her?!

This is a house full of witches for Christ's sake! Most of whom have died at least once. And Madison. Madison was just evil.

Zoe was the only one who even gave a shit about the bitchy starlet, had done everything she could to bring her back...

... I felt no regret killing her.

Witnessing the light leave her eyes was a temporary fix to my pain.

She deserved to be in darkness for eternity.

Zoe didn't.

Zoe deserved light and beauty, happiness and serenity.

Zoe deserved to live.

I would trade my life for her's if possible, sell my soul, do anything, if it meant there was a chance she could come back...

...Dry sobs escape my mouth.

I feel miserable.

Clutching onto her pillow, aching for her.

To feel her hands run through my hair; comforting me.

See her blushing face when I compliment her, make her laugh, and watch as her eyes sparkle with amusement.

There's this massive hole inside my heart.

Zoe was the only person who made me feel... alive...

...Someone is outside our room, I can hear their foot steps.

"Go away." My voice is horse, so it comes out quietly.

The door starts to open. "I don't want to see anyone." I state a little louder.

Still, they continue to walk towards the bed. I sit up, prepared to yell. "I said go aw-." Golden-honey eyes bore into mine.

Zoe.

My Zoe, standing right here.

Tears fill my eyes, "Zoe? Is it really you?," I whisper, looking at her with cloudy vision.

"Am I dreaming?" A hand raises to caress my face.

"No. I'm here," her gentle voice replies. "Cordelia brought me back."

I lean into her touch...

..."Kyle I-" She doesn't get to finish.

I leap up and press my lips to hers.

It had only been a few hours, but it had felt like a lifetime. Pulling away, I start to ramble.

"I thought you were gone. I thought I lost you." I grab hold of her face, leaning my forehead against hers.

" No one could do anything. I couldn't do anything. I tried so hard to but I couldn't fix you, bring you back. I'm sorry Zoe. I'm so, so sorry."

At this point, there are tears streaming down my face. My eyes shut in an attempt to stop them. A soft kiss is planted on my lips, instantly quieting me.

"I know, I know, you did" She says to me kindly. "I'm here, it's okay now." My eyes open to watch her.

"I missed you so much. I felt dead inside without you."

"Kyle yo-"

"No, please let me finish," I reply, cutting her off. "Without you Zoe, I have nothing, I'm nothing. You're apart of me. Don't leave again. Never leave me again."

She runs her fingers through my hair. "I won't I promise. I'll fight with all I have before I ever leave you." We smile at each other.

Happy to be in one another's presence once again...

...Pulling her towards me, our lips meet, as we fall onto the bed.

Frantically, I strip her of her clothes.

Kissing everything I can see.

As I reach her stomach, I notice it.

The now healing scar on her abdomen. Running my hand tenderly across, examining the once bloody wound.

Bending done, I kiss the scar lightly. It was apart of her now.

A constant reminder that she came back from the darkness. That she came back to me.

Looking down at me with adoring eyes, she pulls me back to her face. I caress all of her.

The feeling of her body both foreign and familiar.

"Perfection," I whisper. Gazing into her eyes...

....I go slow, savoring the feeling. Focusing solely on her.

Knowing now, to take no moment we have together for granted.

"Kyle. god yes." Hearing her moan is heaven. "More... please."

She whines, legs wrapping around my waist. Bringing me close to her "Please give me more".

A groan escapes my lips.

I'd give her anything she wanted. Whatever she wants.

I thrust deeper; trying hard to make this last.

My head falls to her neck, nipping the skin there. Soothing the bites with my tongue.

As she cries out, I lift my head. Never have I seen a more exquisite sight.

Her face contorting in pleasure.

My angel. The girl who saved me...

...We cling to each other. Neither of us wanting to let go. Our breathing starts to steady.

"I love you so much Kyle. So, so much. I hated the darkness. It was horrible." She sniffles and I can feel her tears on my neck.

"Hell was a nightmare... But seeing your face on repeat it... it made things bearable" she mumbles into my neck.

"I'll never stop loving you. And I'll do all I can to make sure you never go back there." I kiss her head, "Thank you for coming back to me."...

...Soon I hear her soft breathing and I watch as her chest rises and falls.

Looking completely at peace. But this is different from earlier.

I know now she'll wake up from this slumber.

Having dreamed, instead of being in constant darkness.

Having her in my arms once again is comforting. I needed her.

And she needed me.

We were what the other person wasn't.

With her,I feel everything.

Happiness, joy, anger, lust, regret, love, sorrow, pain.

I feel it all.

Because Zoe does that to me.

She fills the void that I have had inside me for years.

She makes me complete.