For my dearest, most wonderful friend Jeannine who never knows what she wants for her birthday soooo she said she likes Penny humor and I did the thing. Happy birthday, Jeannine~!

Disclaimer: I do not own RWBY.

Take A Penny

It started as just an ordinary day at Beacon Academy.

The students were split into their usual groups of eight and were dispatched by Airship to Vale in order to gather combat supplies from the stores.

Presently, teams RWBY and JNPR walked together - not a particularly inconspicuous bunch, to say the very least - which was the most likely reason as to why they had drawn the attention of a... certain person.

This person was not unfamiliar, at least not to the members of team RWBY. Black thigh-highs socks and a gray dress fringed with green on the edges were worn by a hyperactive girl that put even Ruby Rose's energy to shame, her curly bob-cut of ginger hair swaying slightly as she followed after said girl in particular.

Penny blabbered excitedly on to Ruby, having run to her instantly upon spotting the group of eight. The rest of team RWBY had abandoned her to her fate, and presently the leader hung at the back of the group as the gazes of team JNPR flashed periodically over to her odd companion, puzzled.

All they had heard for an explanation was Ruby's comment through a half-smile of: "Uh, guys this... is Penny."

Said girl's response to her introduction had been a perky, "It's a pleasure to meet you all!" and a short bow before she began walking along beside Ruby, chattering eagerly.

Which led them to the present.

Naturally, Nora was the first to lose to her curiosity and – much to team RWBY's dismay – had to wonder aloud:

"Who is this girl exactly? Do you guys know her?"

The rest of her team peered curiously at the three girls who's leader trudged a good ten feet behind them as she dealt with the newest addition to the group. In response to Nora's question, Weiss groaned and Blake remained painfully quite. Yang sighed.

"She's ah... well... where do I start?" The blonde scratched her head. "We met her a few times before, a couple of days ago. She's here-"

"To compete in the tournament!" All eyes went back to Penny as she cut in. The ginger-haired girl smiled a beaming grin and gave a salute. "I'm combat ready!"

"There. Ya see?" Yang waved her hand. "And when she says she's combat ready, she really means it."

Blake took this chance to cut in. "She helped us out when we fought Torchwick not long ago." She added, casting a small, appreciative smile over her shoulder at the girl. "And I'm still very grateful for that. She pretty much won us the battle."

"Impressive!" Pyrrha offered. She slowed her pace a bit to stand beside Ruby, effectively taking up some of Penny's attention. Ruby sent her silent thanks. "So, Penny, is it?"

"That's right!" She nodded. "And you're Pyrrha!"

"That's right!" The two of them laughed a little as the others all shared a similar thought; Pyrrha was like a mother. "So how exactly did you help Blake and the others a few days ago? What's your semblance?"

"Well, you see I-"

"Ahhhh, um Pyrrha?!" Ruby quickly interjected, flailing her hands about wildly; she did not think it would be a good idea to reveal... certain things about Penny right now. In front of everyone. And Weiss. "S-She just ah, sh-she's like a puppet master! She used some strings to take down the Bullheads, thaaat's all~!"

"Puppets?" Pyrrha repeated. "That sure sounds interesting! You said you came here for the tournament, right? Did you come with your friends?"

The four members of team RWBY visibly stiffened; mentioning that word to Penny was like walking on a land mine of bubbling scenarios of the imminent future.

But Ruby inclined her head a little as Penny's tone got somewhat quiet upon her reply.

"Actually, I don't have many friends. Except for Ruby and Weiss and Blake and Yang! But then again, Ruby's the only one who actually called me her friend so maybe she's my only friend? I'm not really sure. My Master said it would be hard for me to make friends as I am, but it apparently wouldn't be so hard if I was a real girl. Maybe I should try that!"

Her voice rose again, sounding like she had just had a groundbreaking idea. She quickly looked up at Pyrrha who was just muttering curiously to herself about "being a real girl" as Ruby bit her lip behind her. But Penny was intent on trying out what she had just thought of.

"Pyrrha! How can I become a real girl?" Intense mint-green eyes stared up at the redhead as she blinked in surprise.

"Become a real girl?"

Penny nodded eagerly.

Pyrrha turned back, sending a puzzled look over her shoulder to Ruby. Thinking quickly, the brunette gave her a wink and mouthed the words: "humor her." Pyrrha smiled amiably and winked in return.

Ruby let out the breath she had been holding and casually increased her pace to walk beside Weiss again. She glanced back to where Pyrrha was now smiling at Penny. Sorry, Pyrrha. Thank you for your sacrifice!

The crimson-haired girl pondered a moment as she looked thoughtfully ahead of her, Penny still gazing intently up at her, anxious for an answer. "How can you become a real girl... hm, let's see..."

Penny leaned in, on her tip toes now as she continued to walk beside Pyrrha not unlike a stray puppy.

"Ah! If you want to be a real girl, then you should fall in love!"

"Fall in love?"

"Yes! Every girl should experience what it's like to fall in love at some point in her life! Although it's not really something you can control..." Pyrrha trailed off for a moment, her gaze flashing back to her team before she quickly shook her head. "But yes! I think it would be a great thing if you could fall in love someday, Penny!"

"Love..." Penny repeated the word experimentally. She then scampered up to Ruby and tugged – a little too hard – on her hood, causing the unsuspecting girl to sputter. "Ruby, what is love?"

Yang held back a snicker. "Oh, god..."

Blake frowned. "Perhaps leaving her with Pyrrha wasn't the best idea..."

Meanwhile, Weiss was huffing her breath as she plucked Penny's fingers away from her partner's cape until she was free; only she got to do that to Ruby.

"Penny." She cleared her throat like a teacher addressing a particularly special child. "You can't ask this dunce about love. She doesn't know the first thing about it."

"Hey, I know plenty about love!" Ruby whined. "I almost had a boyfriend once! ...Kinda!"

"Shhhh!" Weiss hissed into her face, eyes glaring the private message of "can't you see I'm trying to get her attention focused elsewhere, you dolt?" Ruby blinked and nodded, finally realizing what her partner was doing, uttering a soft "oooh!"

Penny leaned in closer to Weiss, causing the heiress to quicken her pace.

"Well, if I can't ask Ruby about love, then who can I ask?" She begged.

Weiss clicked her tongue; those imploring eyes were almost as bad as Ruby's. Almost.

"I don't know. Ask JNPR."

"Juniper? Who's that?"

Weiss groaned, ignoring Yang's cackle and jabbing her finger to the side.

"Team JNPR." She sighed.

"Oh, okay!" Penny slid to the designated side, but paused before addressing Weiss one more time. "I guess I shouldn't talk to Ruby about love after all. It seems that's why she's got you, Weiss!"

She left the two of them blushing and sputtering as she bounced over to Pyrrha's team.

The closest person to her was a boy with blonde hair who glanced nervously at her as she approached, as though she was a strange animal.

"Hello there!" Penny greeted.

"Um... hi?"

"What do I have to do to become a real girl?"

"...A what?"

"Weiss said to ask you!"

"She did? Ahh..." Jaune fumbled for thoughts. His eyes darted over to his partner but Pyrrha merely nodded in encouragement. "Um.. well. I don't think you have to do anything."

"What? Why not?"

"Well... because you are a real girl!" He gave an awkward grin before it melted into a frown. "R-Right?"

"Hmm... do nothing?" Penny mumbled to herself, still hung up on his first comment. "Well, my Master said that I should do something... So it can't be nothing! Sorry!" She zipped away. For some reason, Jaune felt as though he had just lost the chance to win a prize for something.

By this time, Pyrrha had sauntered back over to him to continue walking by his side.

"What was that all about?" He wondered.

She smiled. "Humor her."

Penny's next target was the other boy; boys knew things about girls, right? Maybe he could help her become a real one!

"Saluuutations!" She popped up beside Ren. He glanced to his left at Nora then to his right at Penny. He heaved a heavy sigh.

"Ask Nora."

"Okay then!" Maybe boys did not know things about girls... Penny addressed Nora from the other side of Ren where she was still walking. "Salutations! My name is Penny!"

"Howdy there! Penny this is Ren, Ren this is Penny, have you two met before? I believe you have! Ren say hi!"

"...Hello, Penny."

"It's a pleasure to meet you!"

"This is going nowhere fast."

"Ren and I have been together foreeeever! He's a great fighter and cook, but..." Nora lowered her voice dramatically. "He is not a morning person!"

"Nora, this isn't where the conversation should be going."

"Oh, right!" Nora turned back to Penny who had looked very immersed in her little rantings just now. "Did you have a question?"

"I want to know what to do in order to become a real girl!" Penny announced.

Nora's smile disappeared for a confused frown, one eyebrow raised.

"A real girl? Why would you wanna be a real girl? Why not be a sloth!"

Ren sighed heavily. Again.

"A sloth? What is that?" Intrigued, Penny leaned in further.

"Well you seeeee sloths are-"

"Ahem." Ren put a hand out to stop his partner. "Penny, I think you should ask someone else after all. What about Blake?" He hated to send Penny to the quietest of the group, but he knew Blake would be the safest bet who could either turn her down gently or at least subtly, if not give her a satisfying answer.

The Faunus girl must have heard his words because her ears twitched once. He mumbled a quiet apology.

"Ask Blake? Okay!" Target changed, Penny zipped over to the onyx-haired girl who took an ever-so-slight step toward Yang, letting out a small sigh. "Blake! I was told to ask you what I can do to become a real girl!"

"I'm well aware." Blake smiled at her. "But unfortunately, I'm not sure what to tell you. Perhaps you could start with making friends and talking to them? Make a team even. Find a partner."

Penny nodded eagerly, her pink bow bobbing up and down in her hair.

"Make friends... make friends! That's great advice! I've already made at least one of those since I arrived here at Vale!" She flashed a content look to Ruby who waved sheepishly back. "Thank you Blake!" Penny beamed.

"Don't mention it."

Penny snapped her head up to look around the group at the people she had yet to question. Weiss instantly stiffened when she felt hungry eyes upon her and she side-stepped to place Ruby between herself and Penny.

But she could not avoid the inevitable forever. The ginger-haired girl persevered, easily darting to the heiress's exposed side.

"Hello there, Weiss! Oh, wow! Your hair looks wonderful today! I mean it always looks wonderful, but today it's very wonderful!" She gasped. "Maybe that's something I can do to become a real girl! Do you think that's something I should do, Weiss?" She leaned in closer and the heiress sputtered, flashing a glance to Ruby that begged for assistance. But the brunette simply nodded encouragingly at her partner. Weiss twitched an eyebrow before she cleared her throat and turned back to the other girl.

"Yes. Take good care of your hair, Penny. It's a girl's pride and joy, after all."

"Is that true?" Mint-green eyes widened in disbelief. "Then you must have a lot of pride, Weiss!" The heiress coughed while the rest of her team were different levels of successful in stifling their chuckles. "But I guess that means you also have a lot of joy! Thank you, Weiss!"

"Aww..." Ruby nudged her partner's ribs teasingly. Weiss huffed and looked away.

After hearing six of the eight voices around her, Penny darted over to the next person in line. Yang had predicted as much so she was ready for the question.

"Yang! What can I do to become a real girl?"

"Well, that's easy, my friend." Yang slung her arm around the smaller girl's shoulders, drawing her closer, giving off the impression she was about to tell her the secret of the universe. Penny easily bought into it, eyes sparkling eagerly at the girl who had just called her 'friend'. "If you wanna become a real girl..."

Yang paused for a moment for dramatic effect:

"You've gotta kiss a prince!"

It was everyone else's turn to sputter now. Ruby choked on a laugh and Weiss had to smack her on the back.

Penny was mesmerized, staring at the blonde girl incredulously.

"A prince? Oh, wow! Where can I find one of those?" Her gaze swept around the group, looking from Jaune to Ren and back again. Pyrrha casually placed herself beside her leader to keep him from view. Yang tugged Penny's sleeve to bring her attention back to her.

"Nah, nah." She shook her head. "Between you and me, those guys aren't princes. At least as far as I know..." She muttered.

Blake's ears perked up as an amusing idea came to her, and she slyly interjected.

"Weiss is an heiress..."

"Close enough!" Yang declared. "Okay, Penny! Go give the princess a big 'ol smooch-a-roo!"

"Excuse me?!" Weiss instantly ducked behind Ruby who in turn flailed her arms at Penny to defend her partner.

"W-Wait, Penny!" She cried. "Yang, don't tell her to do that!"

"Aw, why's that, lil sis? You just wanna kiss Weiss yourse-"

"Actually," Penny spoke up, cutting off a comment that the rest of the group gladly let drop – only Yang pouted. "I'm not sure how to kiss someone. I wouldn't want to do it wrong..." She looked guiltily over at Weiss.

"How about you don't do it at all?" The heiress muttered from behind Ruby.

"What's that?" Nora cut in again as she pulled Ren over with her. "You don't know how to kiss? It's easy! Ren and I do it all the time!" To demonstrate, she jumped up to peck his cheek, leaving a blush that matched his eyes on his cheeks. "See?" She grinned.

Pyrrha covered her face as Jaune blinked in bewilderment. Aside from Yang who whistled, team RWBY pretended they did not witness the exchange.

"There, ya see?" Yang gave Penny's back a pat. "So give it a try!"

"Wait, wait, wait!" Ruby yelped. "P-Penny you can't just kiss people you just met!"

"But I met you guys a few days ago!"

"E-Either way it's too soon! You should do what Pyrrha said and fall in love first!"

"Oh, that's right! I've got to fall in love!" Penny nodded. It seemed her attention had been directed away from kissing Weiss, therefore the heiress allowed herself to sigh in relief. Yang pouted and muttered something about a certain princess "being relieved because she wanted Ruby to kiss her" and Weiss smacked her upside the head. Blake put two fingers to her temple and shook her head, wondering exactly how long they had been walking for.

Penny looked about at the eight people around her, recounting all the things she had been told:

"Pyrrha told me to fall in love. I think that might take some time, but I could probably do it! Jaune said to do nothing, but I don't think that's right. Still I can try, though! Then Ren said to ask Nora, and I did! So that was good! But Nora told me to become a sloth. I'm not sure how to do that. It might be harder than falling in love. I can look into it. Blake said to make friends, and I have at least one of those, so maybe I'm on the right track! And Weiss said to take care of my hair. I can do that! I even gave it a nice ribbon, see? Yang said to kiss a prince, but in order to do that, Pyrrha said I should fall in love first! So maybe I just have to do all of those things in order?"

She rambled aloud, each of the students tensing when she said their names.

But there was still one person she needed to ask.

Penny bounced up next to Ruby. Weiss narrowed her eyes at her as a warning not to try anything funny. The brunette turned to her, ready to answer her question.

"Ruby," Penny said. "What do I have to do to become a real girl?"

She was so earnest, Ruby had to bite her lip, hoping her answer would be sufficient. The others walked on in silence, awaiting her answer. Great, no pressure. Ruby took a deep breath before she replied:

"Just be yourself, Penny!"

The ginger-haired girl fell silent for a moment, a moment Weiss and Ren and Blake enjoyed very much.

"Just... be myself?"

"Yeah!" Ruby grinned. "We're your friends, and we think you're just swell! You don't have to change anything about yourself!"

Penny looked around to find eight faces turn toward her, smiling slightly, nodding, confirming Ruby's words.

"You guys..." Penny blinked in surprise. "You're... You're all my friends?"

"Well, I wouldn't say-mmph!"

"Yeah that's right!" Yang's boisterous voice cut Weiss off as she clasped a hand over her mouth. "We're all friends here! So like my little sister said, just be yourself!"

"Just... be myself!" Penny repeated in a bubbly voice. Her eyes lit up as her gaze swept about the bunch of people around her, meeting all of their smiles with her own:

"Well, that's easy enough!"

A/N: It was kinda hard not to let this turn into "Penny kissing everyone" ahaha.

Please review!