A/N: Ugh...I'm sorry this one took so freaking long to get out. The muses went away for a while. I had a few more gaps to fill in too. Hopefully this does the trick.
Ruthie groaned when she finally came to consciousness, more awake when she took the quiet mutterings below. There was something so familiar about the constant presence of other voices. It wasn't even that she'd ever been without them. Being the daughter of a pastor, there was almost always someone. But this felt like something different in and of itself. These were the voices she'd grown familiar with, the people who had once found and still had a place in her heart.
Not until she rolled out of bed did she realize just how little she was actually wearing. There was no avoiding the full length mirror that told her what she already knew. If looking down wasn't enough, the brisk morning air flowing through her window certainly was. There was always more to cover on Sunday mornings. As the family of a minister, it was an unspoken rule to put her father in the best light possible. This Sunday stuck out to her somehow, though she hardly knew why. The voice she'd zeroed in on was the most impossible to miss, the sound of it, of him making her blood run cold. I didn't...Oh... Of course, Martin of all people would be the last one of the night to see her like...that. And of course she couldn't remember falling asleep the night before. Just...tears. And he had to be the one to see her like that. The realization brought a light flush to her cheeks she didn't feel until she caught herself out of the corner of her eye. Turtlenecks. Today was all about the turtlenecks. Digging through her closet, Ruthie found her most modest top, pulling the collar up as far as it would go. One heavy sigh later, she quietly inched her way down the stairs.
"Good morning, Ruthie," Annie smiled. Rolling her lip, she nodded her own greeting. She just barely caught Martin out of the corner of her eye, instinctively wanting to shrink to an even smaller size when she saw the slight smile on her face. He was going on as though nothing had happened. In the back of her mind, she knew they hadn't even done anything worth the scandal but the situation before them put her in a place where she couldn't help but be embarrassed. Embarrassment or not, she found herself sinking down beside him, though she expertly avoided his gaze.
"Sleep okay?" he mumbled. Ruthie in turn just nodded unable to find her words. Martin nodded in return taking a forkful of scrambled egg to his mouth. She'd probably just imagined the tension that came over them, mornings in the Camden house never feeling this heavy before. The sudden giggle heard next to her earned a smile as she quietly turned her attention.
"G'morning," she whispered. Aaron on his part looked more awake than most of them. Or maybe just more awake than his father.
"He's been up since five," he muttered rolling his eyes.
"Early to bed, early to rise," Annie pointed out. Shaking his head, Martin laughed.
"If by early you mean midnight, sure. He always falls asleep about halfway through so I'm not too worried." Martin realized they would all breathe a little bit easier once he did, if what waited for them was what he had anticipated. Not that he was all that excited about it but there wasn't very much he could do. Church was open to everyone. Finding his familiar place among the Camdens would shine some kind of new light on the morning's proceedings.
"Might work better," Ruthie whispered. His brow only went up slightly then before he realized that he wasn't the only one feeling the impending pressure. Why there was pressure at all he didn't quite know. What was interrupted the night before would make anyone's boyfriend uneasy. His blood ran cold when he caught a sudden shadow in Ruthie's eyes. The sense of unease confused him. He wasn't the best when it came to small attention to every detail but he knew Ruthie well. Sometimes too well. He made a mental note to ask her about that more privately later. For the moment, Martin quietly squeezed her hand, biting his lip when she seemed to barely acknowledge him.
"Ruth," he whispered. "You feeling okay?" He watched her barely nod before shuffling back from the table. "I...have something to...do before we head out," she muttered. Martin blinked, meeting Annie's eyes across the table.
"Ruthie," her mother whispered just as quietly. "If you're not feeling well—"
"I'm fine," she supplied quickly. Even if she didn't believe that for a second, she said nothing more. Despite the questions that sat unspoken on his tongue, Martin gave her equal silence. The two knew better than to say anything more on the subject while Ruthie robotically collected her plate, untouched, and placed it along the counter. Annie waited until her daughter was in the next room before wrapping it up and putting it in the oven.
"What happened last night?" she asked.
"Just a movie and popcorn. I asked her if I could take her out to dinner to make up for not coming through on her birthday and...She pretty much insisted," he shrugged. For his own sake, he left out the part about their surprise visitor, the mere thought of him putting Martin on edge. More than the couple's exchange was remembering how they sat together on the couch. What he'd seen was more than something he'd made up for the sake of his own sanity.
"Maybe she just...doesn't want to go this morning," Annie concluded. "It certainly wouldn't be the first time." Martin nodded. She didn't need to hear his suspicions. At face value they would just make him out to be as protective of Ruthie as he'd always been.
"I'll stay back with her if you want to go ahead and go," he offered. It wouldn't be the first time for him either. Aaron always thought it the best opportunity to spike a fever or a cold. The older woman nodded her thanks, reminding him to call if either of them needed anything. Once the house fell silent, Martin sighed, biting back a growl while fighting the urge to keep his fists quiet. The little boy's quiet whimper as he fought to free himself caught his father's attention. "Relax," he mumbled. Once he found a familiar resting place along his shoulder, Aaron freed a quiet sigh. "Better?" he smiled. "Let's go see if we can work some magic."
It wasn't until she'd made her way back up to her room that Ruthie let her stomach turn quietly. Recalling the night's events, she couldn't for the life of her remember her boyfriend ever being so...insistent. There was a rare instance of trying to get her to have sex with him, reassuring that it would help with her stress. Even though it took more convincing than she would have liked, and a fair bit of frustration on his part, T-Bone was able to let that one go. This time it was...She couldn't quite place it, or maybe just didn't want to put a name to it. She knew him better than to think that he would leave her any reminders but she couldn't quite shake his touch. Expertly avoiding her own reflection, she stripped, quickly making her way to the shower in the next room.
She let the shower warm to its full capacity before walking into the mist. Ruthie wasn't even sure how long she'd been there, letting the water wash away any uncertainty. Jealousy really was an ugly beast, though she prided herself in keeping her reservations to herself not too long ago. Territorial or not, that definitely wasn't the birthday surprise she expected. Hearing the shower as he shuffled up the steps, Martin froze. He had to shake his head to pull a handful of indecent thoughts from it.
"Looks like we're in for a pretty quiet day," he mumbled pulling his tie free with one hand. "Maybe I'll get to take a nap," he mused, though the chance of that was slim to none. Aaron quietly giggled. "You're right...that's a bit of a stretch." Stepping back out into the hall his brow shot up. He never knew her to take showers that went on this long. Knocking gently, his teeth settled along his bottom lip with concern. "Ruth? You doing okay in there?" The five minutes between his question and the eventual silence on the other side of the door drew a nervous sigh.
"I'm...fine." Confirmation came quietly, almost as though she was unsure of her own reply.
"Can I help you with anything?" he asked. It may be a dumb question but given her mood from earlier, he wasn't about to stand around and pretend something wasn't off. Get him off of me she thought clawing at her shoulder.
"N-no," she stammered as the room began to spin. Blinking rapidly, Martin took four quick strides back to his room, Aaron settling in without argument and easily shifting his attention to his toys. A wave of relief washed over him when he realized she'd left the door unlocked.
"Ruth, if I don't get something in two minutes I'm coming inside," he warned.
"No!" That came out with more confidence than he'd seen all morning. "Do-don't."
"Then I'll wait," he decided, quietly sliding down along the door. If something wasn't amiss before, it definitely was now.
"Do-don't come in. Please..." she almost pleaded. Allowing what happened last night, she was already embarrassed enough. Even if she knew Martin had better morals than that. As much as she was asking to be left alone, she still hadn't so much as wrapped herself in a towel yet, watching as it hung within arm's reach.
"You have a minute," he called. Ruthie's legs suddenly felt like water while she struggled to find a way to pull herself together. Taking a deep breath, she eased herself along the tile until finding some kind of landing on the floor, her head tiredly landing on her knees. As hot as the water had been, she had never felt colder. "I'm coming in." So much of her energy was spent trying to find her footing that she didn't even bother to answer him. What he found when he let the door swing open stopped him suddenly. "Ruth?" he whispered. Not so much as a whisper came as he draped the towel around her. While he had practically set foot in a sauna, Ruthie was trembling harshly under his careful touch. Martin had never seen a harsher shade of red across her skin than she did in that moment. If he didn't know any better it looked like Ruthie was trying to...
"I...I'm sorry," she whispered. Shaking his head, Martin carefully helped her to her feet. "I...I didn't mean to..."
"Shh...There's nothing to be sorry for," he mumbled.
"I...I tried to listen but I..."
"It's okay," he repeated. "Come on...Let's get you dressed, okay? Then you can tell me why you were sitting in a steam room." Even if she didn't mean to, Ruthie let all of her weight fall on him, completely silent while he inched her toward his room. Once there she sat completely still, save for the hand she still had a firm grip on. Looking down at their joined hands, he gently pulled free only to watch hers tremor quietly in her lap. Taking it back, he squeezed it quietly, letting his heart chip away little by little. He didn't need to ask why to see the fear in her eyes. It was enough that the look was there at all. "One minute while I get you something to wear, okay? Nobody's going anywhere," he promised pressing a gentle kiss to her forehead. Nothing out the ordinary, and still Ruthie let a quiet tear travel the curve of her face. Laying a set of his own clothes beside her, a knot formed in his throat when he realized just how still and quiet she was. The Ruthie he'd known was anything but.
"His hands...I don't like his hands," she barely managed. "I...I wanted them off. The water...It didn't work." Martin could feel his breathing grow heavy in an attempt to steady the rest of himself. So far as he knew, she could only be talking about one other person. His insides were no longer just cold but turned to ice. He wasn't about to jump to any conclusions but her sudden insistence that they didn't go anywhere the night before had to have something to do with what he'd just found in the shower. Out of the corner of his eye, he caught a shallow clawing across her shoulder and stiffened.
"How did you get this, sweetheart?" he whispered petting it tenderly with his finger, the sight of it making his insides twist.
"I wanted him off...He had his hands there. I wanted them to go away." Ruthie almost sounded as robotic as she felt moments before, even to her own ears. Martin swallowed hard when he realized why he'd been smacked in the face with so much humidity. She'd been trying to...
With one hand hovering over the phone in his pocket, he quietly folded a strand of wet hair behind her ear. "Ruthie...Did he...?"
"No!" she supplied offering a solid shake of her head, water spraying off the tips of her hair as she did so. "But he...He..."
"Did he touch you, baby girl?" In any other frame of mind she'd be glaring daggers at him for the words he chose to use. But this wasn't normal. Not for her. Ruthie, so long as he'd known her was never this...scared. Of anything.
"I said no," she whispered. "He kept asking and I said no."
"Good," he mumbled nodding slowly. "Has he hurt you?" Martin watched her swallow hard before she nodded. "Where?" He quietly followed the tracking of her eyes when she landed on her cobwebbed shoulder. Bypassing the self-inflicted scratches, he could barely make out what could only be fresh bruises slowly turning purple. Closing his eyes, he sighed, tentatively pulling her in closer. Ruthie stilled, resistant for all of about a minute before she eased into him. "Just me..." he promised. How had he not noticed them last night? The youngest Camden had always been one of the more private ones, though in the privacy and comfort of her own home there was no real reason to be so careful. She was wrapped in a blanket the entire time.
"We're going to have to tell Dad," he pointed out. Frightened eyes met him almost immediately.
"Please no..."
"We have to tell someone," he said carefully.
"I said no. Please no. I...I don't want him to be in trouble. I...I was the one who didn't listen...I made a mistake."
"Listen to what?"
"If...If I said he could stay...he wouldn't have gotten so mean..." Martin could feel his own tears gathering at the corners of his eyes. The kid had definitely done something. He'd honestly never seen Ruthie act this way. Ever.
"You asked him to leave. That's okay," he whispered. Whoever the hell he was talking to now had come out riding fear that the bastard had put in her. At least for the moment, Martin had to believe that he hadn't gone as far as he likely wanted to, the thought alone putting fire in his bones.
"He...He's my boyfriend. He loves me. He would never..."
"Shh...Can we put you in some clothes? Maybe brush your hair?" Falling to his knees in front of her, he smiled gently, even while she instinctively pulled away from him. "I won't. I promise." As soon as he'd gotten her to bed, he would at least be calling the station to put out a warning.
"He loves me..." she whispered.
"I know," he nodded, sure that the next time he saw this kid he'd be ordering a new set of teeth. "Can I go get something real quick? I'll be back in less than a minute." Ruthie nodded silently, kneading her hands to keep them still. He returned moments later, slowly easing the bristles through her wet knots. "You know, I did this with Mom a lot," he mused. "Especially near the end," he sighed. "No matter how sick she got...she loved nice long hair. Until she lost it anyway. Then she told them to just take it all off."
"I'm tired," she muttered.
"I know." She had to be after draining all the hot water. "Ruth, I'm going to have to call Mom..." he said carefully.
"She's going to be mad. I didn't listen..."
"No she won't. If I don't tell her anything she's going to worry," he pointed out.
"I'm safe now..."
"Yes you are," he promised.
"You won't let him get me."
"He won't be coming within a hundred feet of you," he muttered, more for himself than Ruthie.
"She'll be so mad..." she choked, new tears pressing behind her eyes. Shaking his head, a finger settled just below her cheekbone.
"She just wants to make sure you're safe," he clarified.
"I am safe...I'm always safe," she whimpered squeezing Martin's fingers quietly.
"I know," he smiled. "I just don't want to get in trouble." Nodding slowly, she toyed with the fabric of her wet towel. "Would it be okay if I called them? Mom and Dad? Maybe Sergeant Michaels? He'd make sure he stays away."
"Don't go..."
"I'm not going anywhere. I'm pretty sure Aaron wouldn't mind a few snuggles though. They might help."
"Okay." Moments later when the baby finally fell into her lap, Ruthie's arms instinctively fell around him. He watched his son's small hands come across her face with a sense of calm and purpose. Whether he noticed her change in behaviour or not, he made no show of it and quietly curled up against her. The fog hadn't cleared enough just yet but Ruthie allowed herself to bury her face in his hair with a hint of a smile that didn't quite reach her eyes.
"What happened in there?" he whispered. Ruthie let her eyes meet his slowly, too embarrassed to speak of it. Martin had already seen so much. And even if he was always a gentleman about it, he was in no position to hear about her boyfriend and the things they'd done together.
"Don't be mad," she mumbled. "I don't want that..." Shaking his head silently, he took firm hold of her hand. "He has such big hands..." From where he stood, T-bone looked like he had pretty normal looking hands. "Never touched there 'cause I didn't let him. But he...He likes to make sure I'm his girl. I...I don't like that." Despite himself, he smiled. Always the free spirit. Ruthie made damn sure she was no man's possession. "He got too close. He was gonna wake up the baby." Nodding again he silently let her continue. "He doesn't understand. He doesn't understand that we're...we're family," she whispered. "He thinks you want me like he does...and I keep telling him that's not true." Martin had to fight the urge to spring back, almost as if he was the one to be slapped. "I told him we tried but it didn't work, that he didn't have to worry. I was too little for you. You never loved me like that. I fought for it for so long. I just got so tired...I was never going to win anyway." Despite how untrue all of that was today, he'd said as much once before. Only later would he come to figure out that those words would haunt him like his worst nightmare. "He doesn't believe that...So when we're together...He...He wants to make sure."
"Did he give you these?" Martin whispered letting his fingers barely brush the bruised prints on her shoulder. Even if he answered his own question, something in him needed to hear it.
"His hands are so big," she whispered, a single tear coming down along her cheek. Rolling his lip, his thumb met the corner of her eye while he kissed her temple. Out of the corner of his own, Martin caught his son's protruding lip, his small hands brushing below her chin as a whimper fell from his mouth. "Thank you, sweetheart," she barely whispered laying a kiss on his forehead. "I was...I was just trying to wash him away," she mumbled. "I turn the water on as high as it'll go and...and he goes away. The room started to spin and I had to sit. I didn't want to fall. I didn't want you to worry more...Or take me to the hospital. They'd ask questions...I don't want to talk to them. It's...It's confusing."
"He hurt you, Ruth. That's not confusing."
"I know but he would find out and it would be worse...I...I just..."
"Shh," he whispered kissing the bruises left on her arm. Pure habit as a father. Even if she was going to take it as something more, her gaze seemed too clouded to care too much. Instinctive or otherwise, Ruthie quietly gave into his touch with only a moment's hesitation.
"That's okay," she mumbled. "That's safe. I like that," she said softly. His smile was gentle as he brushed back her hair. "Safe..."
"Ruthie, look at me please," he murmured. The shift was slow but eventually she met his eyes. "I will always be here to keep you safe. I promise you that. Always." He couldn't help but silently scold himself for falling short on those words for the last few months. New father or not he had a responsibility.
"Aaron first," she nodded bringing shaking fingers through his hair. The sleepy sigh she earned brought the smallest of smiles to her face. "He's more important."
"You're both important to me, Ruthie. So important," he mumbled, his voice thick as sandpaper.
"I know...I tried to not need help...I tried and I just..."
"I'm right here," he murmured. "I will always be right here." Nodding slowly her head found his shoulder, tears welling in her eyes once more. "We need to tell Mom," he repeated. "The police too."
"Please..."
"What?" he asked softly. Bringing her hair to one side, he chuckled when Aaron took the ends into his mouth. Ruthie said nothing and simply gripped his hand with all of her remaining strength. "I'll be right there with you, okay?" Nodding slowly, she shivered.
"It's...It's cold," she whimpered. Bringing them both into his lap, he let his head rest on her wet hair.
"Is that better?" Ruthie on her part attempted to curl up that much closer to him.
"Please don't let go...Not yet." Even if her words were nothing like her, the fog seemed to clear over her eyes, as if Martin's touch alone could wash it away.
"I don't want you taking those anymore," he muttered. "I'll keep him away but you can't do that anymore."
"His hands..."
"...will never touch you again," he said firmly. "You scared me, Ruth..."
"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to. I just...I wanted him to go away."
"I know you did. Are you absolutely sure it's just your arm? Nowhere else?" Ruthie quietly shook her head.
"He left them other places too but they're not there anymore."
"Can you show me where?" He followed her eyes down along her hips before they found her hands. No shadows and still his insides twisted violently.
"He likes places he can squeeze," she whispered. "Places no one will see him touch. Subtle places...He says I'm his. I don't belong to him."
"I know. It's okay. We'll fix it, alright?"
"I'm so sorry..." Shaking his head, Martin tried to pull her even closer. "Don't tell them yet...Let them come home first. I don't want lots of questions." Even though he knew that making these calls sooner rather than later would be better, he agreed. Pulling back his blankets he watched her curl up in them quietly while Aaron crawled up beside her.
"I'm going to go get you some water, okay? Maybe a little something to eat." She offered no answer and brought his pillow closer to her, almost asking it for protection. "You're in charge, buddy. I'll be right back."
Once downstairs, Martin ran his hands angrily through his hair before they settled on his face. How could he have missed something so big? It was no secret that the guy set him off but he'd always chalked it up to some kind of jealousy. Last night confirmed something else for him, something he didn't want to be sure of. To be fair, he never explored that option in the first place now wishing that he had. His first promise to her was that he would do anything and everything to protect her. In the last year he clearly failed miserably. Brushing the edge of the phone in his pocket, he fought the urge to make those calls himself. Ruthie had asked him to keep quiet until everyone got home from service and despite how quickly he wanted to have all of it dealt with, he had to give her that much. Pulling out the plate Annie left in the oven, he let it warm before bringing it up.
"Brought you something," he whispered setting it on the nightstand. "Mom wrapped it up for you earlier, thought you might want it later." Nodding she struggled to sit up. Taking her arm gently, he set a couple of pillows behind her. Martin had to close his eyes the minute he saw her take the fork, trying to ignore how shaky the grip was. "Do you want help?" Ruthie readily declined and just returned the fork to the table and taking a sausage between her fingers. She grimaced at even the slightest bite but slowly finished it off. He'd already done so much for her. At the very least she could clear her plate a little, even though she had absolutely no appetite for it. "Just a little bit," he mumbled. Aaron sat quiet, eyeing the plate in her lap. "Maybe if you ask nicely she'll give you some," he laughed. He quietly took the small pieces she'd left on the plate into his mouth. Martin rolled his eyes. "You don't even know if those are for you..."
"Patience was never really his strong suit," she said softly. "Especially when there's food involved."
"Please don't encourage him..." he muttered. Ruthie just shrugged.
"It's not like I'm eating this by myself anyway, he's fine."
"What do you say?" Aaron giggled and flashed her an easy smile.
"You're welcome, baby. Thank you for helping me."
"I don't know if I'd call that helping. Looks more like mooching from this angle."
"He knows what I mean," she smiled. A soft expression but he was happy to see that she was carefully inching back to herself. Martin didn't have to ask for clarification. He had seen his son act on his own. "We like that smile much better," he whispered.
An hour passed before they heard voices coming up from down below. Martin watched her go stiff before placing a hand lightly on her arm.
"Right here..." he murmured. With a careful nod she found her way to the edge of the bed, leaning on him for that little bit of extra strength. With Aaron fast asleep in his other arm, he eased him into the crib putting a light blanket over him before they made their way down to the kitchen. They were met with Annie's ready smile, which seemed to wash away as soon as she took in the sight of her daughter.
"Why is Ruthie wearing Martin's clothes?" David asked with a brow raised in confusion.
"And why does she look so tired?" Their mother quietly bit her lip, sending the boys up to their room before finding a place at the kitchen table. Taking her hands, she was quick to realize how clammy they were.
"Are you sick?" she whispered, feeling stupid for asking such an obvious question. Ruthie hadn't so much as eaten breakfast. That was answer enough.
"I..." she whispered. Shooting a gaze between the two of them she cleared her throat, as thought that might give her enough courage to get it out. "We were watching a movie last night. He came over before work. Made some excuse about giving me one of my textbooks back. I know he's...always been jealous but...We never do anything anyway so I...I don't get it. I asked him to leave a dozen times but he...He was so insistent. When I asked him to step back so he wouldn't wake the baby..." Annie had to blinked back ready tears, knowing all too well where this was going, instinctively taking a firmer grip on the hand in front of her. "He does this thing where he gets in really close and squeezes me tight. He's done it a few times before. It's always somewhere that looks natural. Like around my shoulders or my hips. Sometimes my hands. I left to go wash him off this morning."
"Has he...?" Annie watched Martin shake his head steadily, the smallest wave of relief washing over her.
"That's mine," she choked catching a tear on her lip. "He doesn't get to take that." Nodding slowly, the older Camden shifted in her chair. "He never asked..." When she realized there was nothing else, Annie rose quietly to her feet taking her daughter in her arms. It was then that she fell apart completely though never losing the airtight grip she had on Martin's hand.
"I'll call Kevin," she whispered over Ruthie's head. Martin quietly agreed just before Ruthie pulled back from her mother and frantically found her place in Martin's lap.
"Shh," he murmured. Ruthie just clung to him for dear life, his neck easily soaked with tears. "I know..." he mumbled while trying to settle the fire in his gut. "We'll fix it, I promise."
"He...What if he hurts the baby?"
"Nobody's hurting anybody, okay? Try and relax," he mumbled softly pressing a kiss to her forehead.
"I didn't wanna see him..."
"I understand."
"You...You have to keep him safe. Always. No matter what." With my life he thought, the promise easily extended to the woman he held as tightly as he could, as though his very own life depended on it. And me she thought, hoping it wasn't too much to ask.
"And you," he whispered, almost as if he heard the words himself.
"Please don't go..."
"Not even something you have to ask for, Ruth. You know that."
"I...I made a mistake," she whispered. I made one first he thought. And now it was time to pay up.
"We'll fix it," he said quietly. "We'll fix it..."
A/N: Alright so...As I said, I wanted to take this one a lot slower than the old one. No, he hasn't done anything drastic but T-bone definitely likes to "stake his claim" as it were. For those who are still interested, feel free to give me your thoughts. Thank you so much for your patience.