Never As Sweet as This

"Bless me, Father, for I have sinned. It's been three months since my last confession."

"Proceed, my son."

Face took a deep breath and twisted the handkerchief in his hands. It was only a matter of time before his palms would be dripping with sweat. His stomach felt as knotted as B.A.'s gold chains. Normally, he avoided confession. He thought it was pretty pointless for a guy like him to promise to sin no more. The only reason he went was to ask forgiveness for the long, stupid war in Vietnam and what he'd had to do while he was helping fight it.

This time, though, Face was hoping for more than absolution. "Father, I need help. I don't know what to do! I'm having, uh, these thoughts about one of my dearest friends."

"What is the nature of these thoughts?"

"He means more to me than anyone else in the world. This guy has had my back for almost fifteen years. We met in Vietnam. He's my best friend and lately, I've been feeling like he's more than that."

"Could you be more specific?"

Face closed his eyes. Of all the things he thought he'd burn in hell for, he never thought it would be something like this. Templeton Arthur Peck, the Templeton Arthur Peck, skirt-chaser extraordinaire, was in love with another man. Even now that he'd admitted it, he couldn't believe it. And of course, the good Father wanted all the gory details. Catholic priests, in Face's experience, always liked to know exactly what they were forgiving you for.

"I first noticed it a few months ago. We were going to go to Hawaii together. You know, hang out on the beach, drink margaritas, pick up pretty girls...but at the last minute, he asked this gal he'd met. I was jealous and at first I thought I was jealous of him. The lady was gorgeous! Tall, blonde, a figure that wouldn't quit. Not too bright, but she had the sweetest blue eyes you ever saw. They were gone for four days and the whole time I felt like a teenage girl waiting for the phone to ring. I couldn't figure out what was wrong with me! I've been without Murdock for long stretches of time and sure, I miss him, but I never felt antsy about it before. I thought maybe I was just mad because I'd been looking forward to going ever since he mentioned he had two plane tickets, but now he's met another woman and this time I think it's serious, and it's killing me."

The priest was silent. Face felt his eyes sting and thanked God for the screen separating him from the undoubtedly disgusted cleric. "I feel like such a shit, Father! I've met her, and she's wonderful! Perfect for him. She isn't a great beauty, but she's sweet looking and kind and funny and I can tell he really likes her. I should be over the moon for him, but all I can think is that it won't be just us anymore. And I've started to have these dreams. Dreams where I go to him and tell him he can't leave me and then I kiss him. I kiss him, Father, and it's marvelous! I've had hundreds of women and enjoyed every single one of them but it's not like this. Never as sweet as this. I'm going straight to hell, aren't I?"

"No one goes to hell for love, son." The priest's soft Irish accent was soothing. So much so that it took a moment for Face to process what he was saying. "But...it's a sin, isn't it? I mean, that's what I was taught."

"Depends on how you handle it. Sin is defined as a state of separation from God. We separate ourselves from Him when we do injury to ourselves and others. To be sure, you're not in a good place right now, but what I hear is that you want to do the right thing."

"And what is the right thing?" Face intended for the words to be sarcastic, but they came out with a humiliating wobbly sound.

"If your friend truly loves this woman and intends to pursue a relationship with her, then you may need to be away from them for a while, but if that's so, you must tell him the reason."

"Are you even listening to me?!" Face was coming dangerously close to yelling. "I came to you for help! Now you want me to give up one of the best friends I ever had?! Can't I just say a thousand Hail Mary's or wear a hair shirt or something that will make it so we can be friends again, without this other thing?"

"Are you listening to me, laddie? I never said anything about giving up your best friend. I said you needed to tell him. Don't you think he already knows you're unhappy? If he's a good a friend as you say, you owe him an explanation. I would wager on his understanding, if I were you. And besides" the priest chuckled and a waft of whiskey came floating through the mesh confessional screen. "How do you know he hasn't had a few thoughts about you?"

Face, who had been half out of his seat, sat back down with a thump. Memories were flashing through his mind. Murdock was always a bit touchy-feely, but Face had always thought he did it to get on the team's nerves. The loopy, cheerful pilot thought nothing of grabbing Face by the hand and skipping him down the street, or throwing his arms around B.A. and giving him a big bear hug. Once, he'd even given Hannibal a loud kiss on the cheek when their CO had brought him a brand-new Captain Bellybuster hat.

Then there was the thing he had about Face's hair. Face had just about given up putting product in his hair because Murdock was forever touching it and trying to run his fingers through it. Face tolerated it (to a point), because Murdock was nuts…and because he was Murdock.

"I don't", he admitted. "Murdock's pretty crazy so I guess it's possible. And of course, he isn't Catholic."

The priest chuckled. "Well, nothing's perfect. But mind what I say—go and have a talk with your friend. The good Lord may not condone empty lust, but He will never condemn you for love, laddie. That's a promise."

Epilogue

Hannibal waited until the dazed lieutenant stumbled out of the confessional booth before he lit his cigar. He was grinning from ear to ear; a Plan, possibly the best Plan he'd ever had, was coming together in his mind.