Human AU, MaleXMale, suggestive humor, OOC language, AAHAHAHA

-xXx-

"Dude, that's not how you do it."

"Is too!"
"No, it's not."

"Prove it!"

Sigh. "Like this, see?"

"Ohhhhhh…. Sorry."

"Its fine dude, now do it right."

Rigby scoffed and got to scrubbing. "Aren't you gonna help?"

"Nah dude, Benson gave me some other thing to do."

Rigby pouted a little and the sponge felt so squishy in his hand suddenly. "Um, Mordecai?" The tall man looked back at him as he was about to leave. "Yeah….?"

"Um…. Never mind." Mordecai shrugged and walked out. Rigby ran a hand through his brown hair and sighed, getting back to work. Stupid kitchen floor…. Stupid Benson…..

He rolled up his jacket sleeves and yawned, going back to work. He hated this job. But, Mordecai was here and Mordecai….. God, he was hot. Rigby was often scared and shocked to have these thoughts and the only one who noticed was Skips.

Skips said Rigby had a crush on him. No, no, no. That could not be true. Why did bad things always have to happen to him? Why why why?

Everyone knew Rigby was gay and no one gave a shit. Eileen thought it was cute. Cute.

Mordecai wasn't gay….. Right? No, he was not. He liked CJ. Right? He was over Margret and he liked CJ. Well, Rigby always noticed how Mordecai stared at him a bit too long and how he always touched Rigby, like messing up his hair or punching him in the arm. But he never noticed that Mordecai was really hot and if you were gay and a hot guy touched you for any reason, you'd be a fan girl too.

Rigby wiped his palms on his ripped black jeans and rubbed his eyes, looking at the mirror across from him. Skips had never hung it up…

There were dark circles, bags, under Rigby's eyes. His shining amber orbs looked duller, like a light brown and his tan skin was getting pretty pale. His raccoon T-shirt was beginning to get bigger on him and he got bruises way more easily.

"I am so screwed…." He ran his hands over his face and then heard a voice. "Rigby….? Come one dude! Let's go!"

"Coming!" The shorter man yelled back and scrambled to get up.

He ran down the hall and down the stairs and ended up crashing into his crush. "Watch where you're running dude!' Mordecai pulled Rigby off him and looked at him with concerning blue eyes. "Sor-ee!" Rigby snapped and dusted his jacket off, huffing. Mordecai smirked. "Whadya thinking about dude?"

"Nothing!" Rigby snapped again, on edge. He was shaking, that's how nervous he was. Mordecai looked at his friend with more concern. "Are you sure you're okay dude?"

"I'm fine! Can we just fucking go!?" Mordecai glared. "Yeah, whatever…" He muttered and opened the door, heading outside. Rigby sighed. He didn't mean to snap. Dammit….

He followed, closing the door gently. Mordecai waited for him patiently and they began their trek to the coffee shop. "Too bad the cart's busted." Mordecai said, stuffing his hands into his pockets. Rigby merely nodded and Mordecai blew air. "What…?"

Mordecai shook his head, blue and black locks staying put as he did so. They walked, side by side, down the park road. "I hate this place." Rigby commented, rubbing his arms.

Mordecai nodded, smiling. "Yeah, me too."

"I might even consider leaving you here and leaving forever." Mordecai landed a solid punch to his arm. "Jesus, Mordecai I didn't mean it."

"Oh, I know you didn't."

The smell of the city flew through the air. "Mmm…" They reached the coffee shop and Eileen grinned at them as she ran up. "Guess what guys! Me and CJ got nothing to do Friday night, so we were wondering if you wanted to come over and watch a couple movies?"

Mordecai smirked. "Yeah, but we can't watch any scary movies 'cause Rigby'll get scared." Rigby glared and punched Mordecai I the shoulder, making the tall man snicker. Eileen smiled. "Okay, I'll keep that in mind. I'll be back with your guy's coffee."

"Thanks Eileen."

"Yeah, thanks Eileen."

They sat at their regular table and Rigby snuggled his head into his arms, his scarf falling over the side of the table. Mordecai frowned and started to play with the brown striped scarf.

"Chad! Jeremy! Hey guys!" They hear Eileen's voice and two voices Rigby and Mordecai thought they'd never have to hear again.

Rigby felt Mordecai's fingers on his scarf tighten a little, but he wasn't choking him, so he didn't care and kept his head down, not wanting to see stupid Jeremy and Chad. Jeremy was always flirting with Rigby and yes, he was hot and yes, he was sweet in his own way, but the albino wasn't Mordecai.

Eileen was back with their coffee, Chad and Jeremy nowhere in sight. Mordecai was very tempted to ask, but he decided against it. "Thanks Eileen."

"What's wrong with Rigby?" She pushed up her glasses, blinking at them. "Nothing, he's just tired…" Rigby scoffed quietly, not loud enough for Eileen or Mordecai to hear. Eileen simply nodded, looking sad and walked off.

Mordecai looked at Rigby and didn't hear any groaning or whining or breathing heavily, the usual signs. Rigby was completely silent, head buried in arms.

The blue-haired man sighed and sipped his coffee, looking out the window. He saw Chad and Jeremy out there, drinking their own coffee, sitting on that bench. Idiots. Mordecai could literally kill them. Rigby sat up, the bags under his eyes seeming darker and his cheeks stained with salty tears. Mordecai leaned toward him, their faces just inches apart. "Are you okay Rigs?" Rigby's voice was uncharacteristically soft as she nodded. "Yeah, I'm fine."

Mordecai leaned back again and found that two rater annoying assholes were staring at them through the window. Mordecai hoped they both would rot in Hell.

He knew of Jeremy's little crush on his best friend and Mordecai didn't like it. The way he looked at Rigby made him sick. Then Mordecai realized it. What he was feeling. Jealousy. Fuck. The man began to think about it, trying to not freak out.

He looked over to see Rigby drinking his coffee slowly, staring out the window at the back of Jeremy's head, his eyebrows furrowed in anger. The two were silent, the only sounds in the coffee shop Eileen humming and making coffee and the TV.

"This sucks." Rigby said setting his mug down. "I wanna go home." Mordecai smiled. "Hold on dude." After he was done, they set off outside, waving goodbye to Eileen. Jeremy was staring at Rigby the whole time, glaring, but his eyes were full of something else Mordecai didn't want to think about. "Fuckin' creep." He heard Rigby mutter and Mordecai smiled.

As they walked, Mordecai fiddled with the bands on his fingers, humming a song he heard a long time ago. "I hate them…" Rigby muttered and Mordecai nodded in agreement. "I think Jeremy has a crush on you…" He said, smiling sourly. The brunette whipped his head up to look at Mordecai. "Shut up! That's gross! Jeremy is so gross and nerdy and….. And….. Ew!"

Mordecai began to laugh. "Oh, come one man…. He's not that gross…"

Rigby glared. "He's not gross, like, gross-gross, he's gross, like he hits-on-me-gross."

Mordecai nodded sagely.

He ran a hand through his blue mohawk and found it was growing more over the black. He needed a haircut. He looked over and saw that Rigby's hair was growling too, so long it went over his ears.

"Hey Rigby?"

"Yeah?"

"We need haircuts."

"Yeah dude."

-xXx-

Did you like it? I hope you did. I don't expect to get reviews on this, but if you do, you'll make me so happy that I might even add more!

SO SORRY FOR TYPOS, IM TOO LAZY TO GO AND FIX MISTAKES.