Thank you for continue reading my fanfic.

In this chapter most of the dialogues were heavily influenced by New Testament 9(i had a hard time thinking how to deal with 'the breaking moment' with a different approach), and yeah i put a certain long rant from the book aswell, with some small adjustments to fit with the story, for example Othinus name is replaced by 'that Magic God' since Touma never mentioned Othinus name in this story.

And a certain female member of Issei harem is already infected with Kami-yan disease, but the way he infected it is very different with the usual method (lol) and yeah she would reprise the role of Will of the Misaka Network.

I'm not sure that my story will be able to recreate the mood you got on NT 9 though, but at least i tried for it :)

Once again, i do not own anything.

Part 5 – Lament of a Certain Boy

"And since devils,fallen angels and angels are considered supernatural being, his right hand would be harmful for us."

That statement alone was already enough to gave them a reason to showed their hostility, but for some unknown reason Koneko was the only one who didn't care on that fact.

Kamijou was a bit shocked on their seemingly synchronized reaction but a moment later he smiled wryly while thinking about something,

(...It looks like no matter where i stand and breath, conflicts would happen because of me. Yeah, that's how evil i am right...Othinus?)

Then he stood up from the sofa,

"Azazel-san, Thank you for letting me stay in your place yesterday,but it looks like i can't accept your hospitality any longer. And you don't need to worry anymore about how to returning me back." Said a certain spiky-haired boy with a wry smile, as if he already gave up on something.

"W-what do you mean, Kamijou-kun?"

"...It's nothing...i just realized how stupid i am for thinking any way to get back on my own world."

Yes, a certain spiky-haired boy named Kamijou Touma finally has realized something.

Why would he try to return back on his original world?

Wasn't he should be dead by now if that black hole wasn't appeared?

He was being so naive after all this time since he arrived in this alternate world.

"Well then, excuse me Azazel-san."

"W-wait Kamijou-kun..." Somehow Azazel was unable to stop him, even though he could restrain him with his power.

"Well, that's good. At least he still know his place." Said Issei with a relief tone.

"Kamijou-san..." muttered Koneko. She realized that something is wrong since he sat beside her on their classroom, because during their classtime, all Koneko could see on his face was his gloomy expression as if he was commited some kind of huge sin before, but at the same time he was holding his tears from dropping from his eyes.

A certain spiky-haired boy walked through the streets without any clear destination. The sky was showing a bright orange color with some flock of crows soared the sky.

What should he do right now?

Should he looking for another place to stay?

Or should he...

"Yeah, that's right. How could i forget my original intention?" chuckled Kamijou.

Shortly after that, he arrived at the park where he first appeared.

"Well then, all i could say is you guys should keep training your abilities especially you Issei, since you just got a new body so you should adjust yourself properly." Said Azazel to close the club meeting.

"Alright sensei, i understand." Replied Issei proudly.

"Okay then, i would take my leave right now. Good work for today everyone." Said Azazel while he activating his teleport circle.

"What's up with sensei? Usually he would mess us first with his weird invention." Wondered Issei while looking at his girlfriend, Gremory Rias."

"Beats me, but i think it's related to that spiky boy." Replied Rias.

Then Issei looked at Koneko with a curious look.

"Koneko-chan, do you know why Sensei is so interested on him? That weird guy power is dangerous to us, but Sensei seems to be really interested with it." Ask Issei while slightly mocked that spiky-haired boy.

(Well, you can say that i'm not normal human)

That sentence appeared on Koneko's head like flash of light.

"Issei-senpai."

"Yes Koneko-chan?"

"You are an insensitive jerk."

"W-w-what?" Koneko words struck deep into Issei heart, not even his Balance Breaker armor could protect him from it. He was wondering why Koneko seems to be really hostile on him, when usually she would secured his lap whenever she could, especially when in club activities like this.

"Yeah Issei-kun, you were being too harsh with that boy." Said a black-haired and big-breasted girl named Himejima Akeno who was stand beside Rias since the club meeting started. Although she was being a bit hostile due to that boy's right hand power and his outburst on Issei, she could feel some sadness emanating from him.

Akeno words put another blade on Issei's heart as if Koneko words weren't enough.

"I-it's because that guy looked so suspicious. It could be that Cao Cao sent him to interfere our group or to get some intel for his vengeance, considering what happened since the crisis...so i can't hold back my emotion when i saw him hurts Koneko-chan." Said Issei to defend himself from another insult.

"Okay okay, the discussion ends here. Let's head home right now." Said Rias to prevent unnecessary conflict.

As the the club members walking together to Issei's house (Since most of them live in Issei's house with the exception of the other two male members.) Suddenly Koneko remembered something.

"Rias-senpai, there's something i need to check on music store so i'll part here." Ask Koneko with her usual emotionless expression. Koneko was a huge fan of rap music so she would check some music stores occasionally.

"Okay then, make sure you come home before dinner Koneko-chan." Replied Rias with her usual friendly smile.

Koneko nodded her head then parted with the group and walked toward a certain music store, near a certain park.

As Koneko walked past the park, she saw a sillhouette of a spiky-haired boy sat alone on a bench. She didn't know why she felt that the boy was under huge depression all the time, so she tried to approach her new classmate.

As she approached him, she was shocked a bit upon seeing how empty his gaze as if there was no signs of life from his eyes.

"Ka...mijou-san?" greeted Koneko with a slight hesitation.

"T-Toujou-san? I-I'm sorry i didn't see you coming here. By the way, what are you doing here Toujou-san?" Answered Kamijou panickly.

"Well, i just checked some rap music on music store over there." Said Koneko while pointing at the direction of a music store that was visible from where he sat on.

"I-i see..."

Again, Koneko noticed a gloomy expression appeared again on his face.

"Kamijou-san..."

"Yes, Toujou-san?"

"Why are you always looked so depressed all the day? Is there something wrong?"

That question somehow disturbed Kamijou's mind. He didn't know how to reply such kind of question since he was sure that nobody would believe his circumstance.

"I-it's nothing Toujou-san, you don't need to worry about it."

"But i don't like someone on my class will always look depressed without anyone knowing the cause."

Suddenly Kamijou felt a strange feeling after hearing those words,wondering why was someone he barely knew showed such concern over him, a stranger and moreover, someone with the power that would be fatal for her and her comrades. Until now, he was the one who always saved people no matter what the risk, no matter what the circumstances,as long as no one would lose their life, he would clenched his right fist to protect them.

But, this time he felt so powerless and pathetic. He couldn't restore his former life due to the 'perfect world' created by Othinus. Kamijou himself wanted to go back to his original normal higschool life, a life surrounded by misfortunes and ridiculous events...but by doing that, that means he would erase the smiles of all the people he strived to protect.

"If you can't tell Azazel-sensei or the others about it..."

With a slight blush, Koneko added more words,

"At least you can telling it to me."

Koneko herself wasn't sure why she would show so much concern over him. Until now, the only man she had set her affection into was only Issei, but for some reason she felt that this spiky-haired boy desperately needed help.

Koneko's concern reminded Kamijou on a moment just before the original world was shattered by Othinus. That time,for the first time he plead Index and Misaka Mikoto to help him defeat a certain female magician.

But in the end, he couldn't protect them against the might of a certain Magic God named Othinus.

Or more precisely, he couldn't bring himself to destroy their smile on the 'perfect world'

And now he was afraid of asking someone's help.

He was afraid that his problem would hurt the people who helped him.

But...

Kamijou moved his lips slowly and spoke.

"Toujou-san, would you mind listening some unbelievable stories?"

And Koneko replied him with a faint smile.

A certain Magic God destroyed a world in the blink of eye, and created countless other worlds to break a certain boy's resolve.

The boy was hunted down like a devil incarnate by his dear friends and comrades.

The boy was replaced by an unknown entity that taking over his own 'Kamijou Touma' existence.

The boy was eaten alive by his friends while they stranded on a mountain.

The boy was buried beneath the soil and began to decomposed while still alive.

The boy was burned alive by the people he hold dearly.

The boy can only watched his friends butchered without be able to do anything.

But, while he endured those unimaginable pains, the boy still had his resolve.

He believed that he would find an opening, even if it just 0,0001% he would find it.

He would break this mad illusion.

He fortified his resolve to save his world and his comrades.

At least, that's what he thought before Othinus created a certain world that completely shattered the boy's fortified resolve to dust.

Koneko, just like Azazel before, was greatly shocked after she heard his story. She felt her heart strucked by an unknown force while at the same time she held a great admiration with that spiky-haired boy mentality.

"Well, i'm sorry if it was that unbelievable. I can understand that." Said Kamijou while gave a wry smile to the shocked white-haired girl.

"N-no Kamijou-san, it was just...too cruel."

Yeah, it was cruel indeed. A normal highschool boy had to endured those horrors just because he had some unique power.

"But Kamijou-san, then how did you stranded here? I'm pretty sure this world isn't created by such an evil Magic God like that." Questioned Koneko while wondering how she could help him relieve his tragic burden. Yeah, a truly lone and powerless boy was sat helplessly beside her.

"...it began when i tried to jumping off a building."

"Eh?"

Koneko was frowned with his words.

(Jumped off? Does that mean he was attempting suicide?) She was surprised as to why such a strong-willed man like him would commit such a desperate action like that?

"Why would you do that Kamijou-san?"

"...it's because that Magic God was managed to create something i would never be able to do no matter how hard i work." Lament Kamijou while his right hand was holding his chest.

"Something?"

"Yes...it was a 'perfect world'."

Koneko was a bit confused, but somehow she felt something's definitely wrong with that 'perfect world'.

"Simply to put, it is a world where everyone is happy with their life. The dead ones revived and reunited with their friends or family. There are no any twisted experiment occured, no conflicts and wars, no tears and screams. It is truly a happy world."

"But then, why-"

And then, Kamijou said something with a sad face but had a faint smile on it.

"And that world will continue to exist if i end my life."

"Eh?" Koneko really didn't understand those words.

"...My existence would trigger unnecessary conflict...yes you could call my existence is...evil...in that happy world. "

At that moment, Koneko hold her mouth with her hands. And Kamijou was holding his breath for a moment,and then said something again while looking at the orange sky.

"...So i decided to end my life...so those smiles would never fade away again from their faces."

Part 6 – Selfishness.

It was already evening, it was around 8 P.M.

Issei's group was holding their training session on their private ground, located underground beneath Issei's house.

Rias, Akeno, and a blonde-haired girl named Asia was watching over Issei and and another 2 boys training.

"Wow Issei, you are far more durable with that dragon body of yours." Said a good-looking boy named Kiba Yuuto while panting after dodging some of Issei's light attacks.

"Yeah that's right, you seem much stronger right now Issei-senpai." Added a boy(or a girl?) named Gasper Vladi who was training his Sacred Gear ability on different side from those two boys.

"This dragon body certainly feel great, although i can't use Ddraig's power right now but this 'Dragonification' ability will do just fine for the time being." Said Issei while looking at his partial transformed body.

While watching his boyfriend new ability on the field, Rias was asking something to Akeno.

"Neh Akeno, why Koneko is still not home yet? It was usually not this long when she just checked some music store."

"Yeah Buchou, as if something's happened with her."

Issei, who overheard that conversation stopped his training.

"Rias, perhaps that guy-"

"Issei, until we find out what's going on, you should not assume anything bad already."

Issei was staggered with her reply.

"Y-yes Rias i'm sorry."

A few hours ago before Issei's training group was started.

At a certain park, a boy and a girl sat over a bench.

This view could easily be mistaken as a couple enjoying sweet moments with each other.

But if they took a look more closely, their assumption would be clearly wrong.

The white-haired girl was clearly worry on that spiky-haired boy beside her.

She felt a small portion of tears welling up in her eyes after hearing such a sad circumstance like that. He sacrificed his life not because he gladly did so, but because he was being left with no other choice. She felt that this spiky-haired boy didn't deserve such a cruel and sad fate.

"Kamijou-san...?"

"..."

There's no reply from Kamijou.

"...Isn't this weird? You said that no matter what happen, you would find the slightest chance to defeat her. Then why do you easily surrendered just like that? You do realize that there's no guarantee that the world will keep running even after your death right?"

Koneko was surprised, why would she scold some stranger like him? It's not like her usual attitude, where normally she would just care about Issei and her teammates, and would rather avoid other people. Is it because of his tragic fate? Or is it because...

"A-and if your friends knew about what you have gone through, i'm sure they will rush to your aid Kamijou-san, for you are their hero."

That's what Koneko was thinking when she heard all of his story. Someone who would save people with all their might no matter what the risk should be fit with the title of a 'Hero'.

Yes, someone like Kamijou Touma is definitely a 'Hero'.

"..."

Still no reply from Kamijou.

"...Then tell me one thing, Kamijou-san."

"?"

Kamijou looked on Koneko with a confused look.

Koneko was only asking a simple question.

A really simple question.

"Is it okay for you to accept someone like that trampled your efforts that easily? Are you really not bothered by it?"

"Eh?"

That question pierced through Kamijou's fragile heart like an invisible blade.

He completely frozen for a while.

Kamijou Touma was known for his heroic speeches among both his allies and enemies.

If someone he knew from his original world saw this scene, he/she would expected some heroic arguments out from the mouth of that spiky-haired boy.

He would definitely said the things pure Saints could only say.

But...

Kamijou Touma slowly moved his trembling lips.

And finally,

Tears spilled from his tear glands.

And he spoke.

"It bothers me."

"It bothers me. It really bothers me! What was I doing all that time? I didn't want some huge sum of money and I didn't want to make my own kingdom with a

ridiculous amount of power. I just wanted to wake up in my dorm, make food for Index, go to school, and hang out with my friends after school. I just wanted that normal life back. So why do I have to be treated like an absolute evil!? That's ridiculous. That Magic God saved every last one of the six billion people on earth to make me suffer. There's something seriously wrong with her sense of scale! Why the hell do I have to go through all this? What was I calling misfortune!? I had always managed to slip past all that and used every trick I had to reach a compromise. I had managed to strike a nice balance! But she destroyed it all. Of course it bothers me! Even if it's meaningless and no one else cares who it is as long as they're saved, it still bothers me! I coughed up blood and shed tears to somehow make my way along that path, but that Magic God easily did it like it was just a game! She stole everything from me! She stole everything I had – even the path I walked down – and she did it so skillfully that I feel stupid complaining about it! What the hell was that? If she could do that, why didn't she save everyone in the first place!? If that was an option, why didn't she use it more seriously!? And I doubt it will even last that long. Once that Magic God gets bored, she'll just destroy the 'perfect world' too. If you can easily create something, you have no problem with destroying it. But I can't create anything better than this. It doesn't matter what complaints I make when she can give everyone a smile with a wave of that lance. And this isn't someone else deciding that it doesn't matter. It's me! Me! She showed me it doesn't matter if I oppose her! It's all a deception created to corner me, but it doesn't matter to me if it's all fake! It's almost like a game to her, but the smiles she's given Index and the others are something I could never give them even after a century of hard work. I couldn't do it without inventing a time machine, but she did it without even trying. Am I supposed to stand up to that!? Why did someone like her have to appear in front of me!? If she was going to do this, couldn't she do it on the other side of the planet? No, why couldn't she create this paradise on the moon or Mars and be happy there!? She could leave all the people here alone and create a new human race on a desert planet she made livable! …I don't want to fight anymore. I don't want to oppose a monster like that. I was never fighting because I wanted to. It's just that I always saw someone holding back tears in some horribly painful situation. Even if they cried and cried, no one would have complained, but they put up with it anyway. …And I couldn't allow it to go on. I clenched my fist like an idiot, charged in, and somehow resolved the incident. I didn't do it to be thanked. I didn't do it because I wanted anything in return. But overcoming those things increased the number of people around me. I began to think those connections with people had some kind of meaning! And this is where it got me. I had everything taken from me. As Toujou-san have said, someone might rush over for my sake if they knew. They might cast everything aside and join me even if it meant making an enemy of the entire world run by that Magic God. But! That doesn't matter! It never mattered. That tiny illusion is not worth abandoning that kind of miraculous situation where lost lives have returned. I wanted to have fun with everyone some more. I never bothered to realize how comfortable my position was. If nothing had happened yet and that Magic God suggested bringing back all those lost lives, I would probably have rejected it based on some random ideal or another. I would say their deaths had meaning or that you can't toy with people's lives so easily! But she's already done it. To 'return things to normal' now would be no different from killing those unknowing and smiling people with my own hand! No matter how many excuses i make, that fact does not change. A decision that I make would kill every last one of them! There's…there's nothing I can do. What good is it to take away the 'perfect world' without crime, debt, or broken hearts!? Even if I defeated that Magic God, returned everything to normal, and justly slaughtered everyone who shouldn't be alive, would I really return to the world I picture in my head? How would I ever face the people who are living their normal lives, ignorant of what had happened? Could I really just smile? Could I really smile like an ignorant fool when I really knew the truth! Like hell I could! Nothing would remain for me either way. Whether I defeat that Magic God or not and whether I live or die, I can't return to 'normal'! No matter what happens and no matter how this ends, there is no way for me to succeed. Even if I don't 'fail' in whatever I choose to do, I will still have complaints and it will all fall apart in the end. In that case, there's no reason to fight! Why should I destroy that kind of miraculous situation!? If every path leads to destruction, why not just accept that Magic God's victory? Why not let the number of people saved decide it!? Who saved more people, me or that Magic God? The answer is obviously her! I knew from the beginning I couldn't hold a candle to what she did! What else can I do? After…after everything she's done, there's nowhere left for me to go!"

Koneko heard some an unfamiliar name several times within his rant. That name 'Index' should be a very important person for him.

But it was a heartcrushing rant.

Even her own heart were greatly ached when she listened it and unconsciously shed her tears, something that Koneko would unlikely do. The last time she cried was when Issei was presume dead during a certain crisis, but this time she cried just by hearing a certain tragic lament from a helpless stranger.

But there's one thing she had finally confirmed.

This spiky-haired boy known as Kamijou Touma is just a normal human.

Not an Angel, not a Fallen Angel, and definitely not a Devil.

He was just a normal human.

A normal human who was alone and powerless against a god.

He had no friends or allies in this world.

He was alone as well in this world.

Maybe that's why he didn't want to trouble others, as showed when he refused Azazel's help, felt guilty after his right hand was accidentally hurting her and eventually left the clubroom.

Koneko wanted to do something.

She really wanted to do something for this helpless boy.

She really wanted to drag this boy out from the depths of his own despair.

"I'm sorry Toujou-san, i guess i talked too much rubbish." Said Kamijou while giving her a faint smile and wiping out his tears that flowing down across his face,

"..."

And finally, Koneko realized what she could do for him.

"E-eh? T-Toujou...san"

Unexpected by Kamijou, Koneko stood from the bench and walked towards him,then suddenly hugged him with a blushed face and watery eyes. She wasn't even feared the fact that his right hand could accidentally touch her.

"It's okay...Touma-san."

"Eh?" Kamijou was a bit surprised when Koneko started calling his first name.

"I will help you Touma-san. I will help you find a way to return to your own world. Maybe it will took a while, but i will help you with everything i got."

"...But Toujou-san, even if i could return... how do is supposed to-"

And then Koneko said something to ease Kamijou's mind with a fair smile unseen by him because she still hugged him.

"Being selfish just for once is not a bad thing, Touma-san."

Kamijou was surprised by that sentence.

"What...do you mean, Toujou-san?

"Of course you know what i mean, Touma-san. You could discard that 'perfect world' to save yourself. I mean, what's wrong with that? You're not an Angel right? Isn't that natural for any normal human to do that? Why do you have to rank yourself below everyone else? And all you have to do is return to your original world and apologizing while you explain everything to them."

"..."

Short silence covered the entire park.

And then Kamijou said something while giving a wry smile.

"They'll kill me. After they know what i've done, they will hunt me down around the world to kill me."

"Then..."

Kamijou was really surprised when she released her hug and finished her words with a visible cute smile.

"Why don't you stay here and start a new life, Touma-san?"

"...It looks like my plan has failed again."

A person was observing a certain park with contempt look.

"...I guess it's time to end this once and for all."

"Stay here? I don't have anyone in this world. My family,my friends are not here Toujou-san. And you should already know that my presence here is potentially endanger your friends, right? I couldn't bring myself to cause misfortune for another people."

"What do you mean, Touma-san?"

"My right hand doesn't only negate supernatural powers...it also negates God's blessing and divine miracles. Since i was a little boy, my misfortunes would always brought disaster to other people." Lamented Kamijou while looking at his right hand, the hand that already saved thousands, no, billions of people.

There's a conflict within Koneko's heart.

At one side, she really wanted to help Kamijou with everything she got, there's no doubt about it. But on the other hand, Kamijou's power would be a threatening presence for her teammates and Issei.

"I will try to persuade Rias-senpai to help us find a way to return you home." Offered Koneko while grabbing his left hand.

"But Toujou-san, i don't think they would help me, the one who possessed a power to harm you and them with one touch of my right hand... and i don't want to cause you any trouble Toujou-san! I will not be able to forgive myself if i involved you or anyone in this world to get wrapped up in my misfortunes." Spoke Kamijou with trembling lips. He was afraid that when he accepted her offer, his misfortune would cause some unwanted incidents on her and her friends.

"..."

Another silence interfered their conversation.

And then...

"If Rias-senpai and everyone else rejected you..."

Koneko's next words shook Kamijou as if he was shocked by some electricity.

And she said it while stroking his left cheek with a smile on her face.

"I would stay beside you Touma-san, even if i have to disobey Rias-senpai,Issei-senpai and everyone else."