A/N: REVIEW FOR IT FEEDS THE ENGINE OF CREATION!

So.

I'm back.

I'm also tired. Tired of...a great many things. Probably going to die alone, now. *Laughs bitterly* but that's a different story now, innit? Sorry, I'm don't feel so good at the moment...no, that isn't a pun. I genuinely feel like crap as I write this author's note. And I don't even know WHY. Miiiiiiight be losing my mind.

Hmm.

Semantics, I suppose.

Sanity is overrated anyway.

Long story short, I need dental work done, and my insurance doesn't want to cover it. Root canals, crowns, that sort of thing. In other words? I'm forced to pay out of pocket, which means I'm going to be out a few thousand dollars assuming I can even scrape together that kind of money. Have to pay up front too, or they won't even TOUCH my teeth. Well, I'm sure you've been there and done that before dear reader, so I won't ask for sympathy. I take damn good care of my teeth, but there it is, there they are, and it needs doing. Recently had my hours cut at work so there's that, too.

I've been trying to make updates more frequent but the pain's getting downright distracting at this point and affecting my work. Nothing's infected mind you, but it still hurts like hell.

Just wanted to apologize for that, there.

Don't worry, I'll find a way through this somehow.

Not sure if this'll get a lot of views or reviews, given all the holiday madness is going on at the moment.

Eh, screw it.

Enjoy the comeback!

Think of this as an interlude while I get back up to speed...

And no there isn't a bloody two-year timeskip yet, I'm not going to screw everybody over like that.

"Carry on my wayward son,

"They'll be peace when you are done...

"Lay your weary head to rest, don't you cry no more...

~?

Awakening (Interlude)

"You truly test my patience, lover."

That certainly wasn't the first thing Naruto expected to hear upon waking.

In actuality, he hadn't expected to open his eyes at all, but found himself grateful nonetheless.

Every fiber of his being throbbed in silent pain, an ache in every bone. Even the physical act of lifting his head threatened to drain him completely. Thin cloth rustled against his body-a surgical gown of some sort?-when he attempted to move, causing sensitive skin to bristle. The blazing light in his eyes certainly didn't help. Averting his gaze only prolonged the agony; his blurry vision beheld whitewashed walls, almost painfully bright against his visage.

"Geez," he groaned, "Turn out the lights, would ya?"

"Sorry," a smoky voice purred into his ear. "No can do, lover."

A muscle jumped in the young man's jaw, hands bunching into fists at his side.

"Will you STOP calling me that already? I don't know who you are, but I'm not your-

"Oh?"

Frigid steel registered against his spine in response, a sharp sting jerking him back to reality.

"HOLYCRAPCOLD!

With that, sight and sound gradually came back to him in fits and spurts, punctuated by a harsh coughing fit as he bolted upright. His world swayed in shades of black and white, vision swimming in a sea of ash, void of all color. When he tried to stand his stomach protested violently, voiding his last meal in a lurid grey puddle upon the floor. His knees chose that moment to buckle and he would've collapsed into the puddle of his vomit had not a pair of slim arms encircled him from behind and pulled him upright at the last moment.

"Steady," again that silken hum trailed across his senses, warm lips pressing against the back of his neck. "Wouldn't want you to faint on us now, would we?"

Some sixth sense shrieked a warning, but in his weakened state he found himself powerless to respond.

"Oh, hell."

A low groan left his lips.

Then he made the mistake of looking up.

Sure enough pair of pale orbs gazed back at him, set in a terrifyingly familiar face.

"Sleep well?"

"Urk." Naruto managed eloquently.

His heart had all dropped into his stomach. This was the same madwoman he'd fought before. The one who'd nearly taken his life. An assassin. A killer. Completely, stark-raving mad. That said woman was currently embracing him as though he were a long lost lover only proved more concerning. Her grip was like iron; try as he might he couldn't escape her vice-like hold...yet. He'd need to concentrate, muster his strength, find a weakness of some sort...

"Bad boy," Hanabi cooed, nuzzling his neck. "Worrying me like that. You were out for quite some time...

There it was again, the sensation that he was forgetting something, the faintest hint of nostalgia.

"Why save me?" he croaked. "What am I to you?"

"Simple." a benign, if slightly mad smile bloomed across her serene visage. "You're a piece of him. Therefore, you belong to me. You are mine and mine alone. MINE. No one else can have you. It stands to reason I'd want to save your life, no?"

Aaaaaand that was all he was willing to hear on the matter.

"Sorry, I've had my fill of clingy and crazy for the day." he groused. "Mind letting me go?"

"Very much so." those steel arms tightened around him like the coils of a great snake. "I won't let you leave."

"REALLY think I should have a say in this...last chance." a note of warning entered his voice.

Her expression turned predatory.

"Oho? You think you can escape me, boy?"

"Very much so." he parroted back at her, tensing his shoulders, wincing at the scars there.

"As entertaining as such a spectacle would be, I'm afraid I can't let you two do that just two." a new voice-this one distinctly male-declared, momentarily distracting them. "Hanabi, release him. I'd rather you keep the lab intact. It cost a substantial amount to...procure."

The woman-Hanabi?-absolutely hissed.

"I will do no such thing, pretender."

"Still stubborn as ever I see...

Naruto physically stiffened.

...oh, what in the blue the hell is this?!"

Blue eyes snapped toward the southernmost corner of the room.

Despite his best efforts, his face slipped into an irritated deadpan at what he found there.

"If its implants that concern you, you needn't worry." its owner soothed. "Your...friend here was quite adamant we leave you untouched when we found you some days agao. Well, in-as-much as we could...

He was handsome in an old-fashioned way; clad in a dark, crisp suit, a glass of what one could only assume to be wine clutched in his off hand. A hologram clearly, projected by a strange spherical device protruding from the image's chest. The next thing that held him were the eyes; almost unnaturally bright, as though physically lit from within. Brighter even than his own, they were almost ghastly to behold, yet strangely beautiful in their own, twisted way. It did not, however, change the fact that this man was very likely his captor.

"Who are you?" he growled.

The stranger offered a smile. "Let's say...someone invested in your continued survival."

Whiskered cheeks pinched in a controlled frown. "You didn't answer my question."

"Fair enough." As he looked on that strange, enigmatic smile yet grew.

"But first, I'd like to make you an offer."

"One I can't refuse, I take it?"

That smile only broadened.

"Something like that."

A/N: Feels good to get back to this after so long.

Again, I'm sorry this was short. Its an interlude after all. I don't blame you if you're angry with me for this short update. You have every right to be. Think of it as a teaser of things to come. Really, its a miracle I was able to write at all given the fact that I'm in crippling pain, BARELY able to move my arms, oh, and about to get a tooth pulled. Anyone who's been there knows the utter and unmitigated HELL that is. Toss in long roots and there you have it.

Oh, and did I mention the bad break up? Seriously, I don't know why I bother trying anymore, everytime its some no good CHEATING W-

No, no, no, not ranting. Not at all.

Yet despite that, no, in spite of it, I still pulled through to write this for you all.

What can I say? Writing is my passion. Always has been, always will be.

So in the Immortal Words of Atlas...

...Review...Would You Kindly?

And of course, enjoy the previews!

Bit of tongue in cheek, here =D

(Preview)

"You're alive!"

"Yes, about that...

...you've got some explaining to do."

"Er...mercy m'lord?"

"NO."

"Wow. Did Shepard seriously just...

"Also! May or may not have shot Udina."

"Addendum: the human may be dead. We did not check."

"WHY?!"

"Because he was a prick."

Hope ya liked it! R&R! =D