Fade Into You

Rating: R

Notes: So...how was your summer? Mine was obviously busy. Apologies for pretty much falling off the face of the earth with this story-especially since a few people continued to favorite/like this. Long story short, my husband is a teacher so we get the summers off-and we ended up having much more limited internet than I had thought. After that come to find out I'm pregnant which is super good news but boy did I spend the last few weeks super tired and sick.

Thanks for putting up with the slow posting, things should resume to be normal as of now.

I've had a lot of people put their 'votes' in as far as who we should see more of from the marvel universe, and pretty much everyone was neck and neck. We'll probably see a little bit of everybody honest!

Chapter Nine: Breathe Me

Maddie had fully expected her dad to come back with gifts. That's what he did, he upset someone (usually her or Pepper, but sometimes Happy) he would come back with gifts. When two hours went by, she realized that maybe he was really upset with her. It made her stomach churn, especially when the thoughts of John and Sherlock came to her mind. What did they think of her? Did they think she let it happen? Maddie still had the image of John's face realizing that she was tied up with him burned in her brain forever.

She had been at the point of crying again when her doctor came into the room. His poking and prodding kept her tears at bay. Maddie hated the hospital. It was always cold, and they all seemed to smell the same. She hated hearing the machines around her beeping and making noise (they made her paranoid, always wondering 'was that noise supposed to happen?'). She hated the scratchy hospital gown they had her wear. Most importantly she hated being attached to machines and lines of medicine.

"It looks like you're healing nicely. We might be able to discharge you tomorrow." Her doctor said, bringing Maddie out of her thoughts.

"Oh, that would be nice. I guess I slept through the worst bit of being here." It would be nice, to go home...actually maybe it wouldn't if everyone thought she let it happen to her. Her dad was upset, what if John and Sherlock thought the same? What if she wouldn't be welcomed back at Baker Street?

"Your ribs will keep you from doing much for a few weeks, but it's your stitches you have to be really careful with. We'll go over the home-care with you when we discharge you."

Her doctor smiled before leaving the room. It made her wonder if the doctor thought she let this happen to her as well. She could have fought harder, screamed, done something...instead she had sat there and let it happen to her. She had the worlds deadliest women teaching her self defense, and yet she let it happen to her. She was so scared she didn't do anything.

No wonder her Dad was upset with her.

Maddie hadn't been able to wallow long, only minutes after the doctor had left a familiar brunette was knocking at her door. "Up for a visit?" Molly smiled, but looked shy and nervous. She was in her lab coat, probably popping up for a visit during her lunch break.

Maddie gave a nod, her red hair falling into her face. "Please, it's dreadfully boring being left alone with nothing to do."

Molly found herself in the chair that Sherlock had been in hours ago. "I'm so sorry, I should have made sure you had a taxi…" Molly started nearly immediately and was in tears only seconds later. "You walked me home, caring about my safety but I didn't even think about yours…"

"Hey, Molly it's okay. I mean your place is like a few steps from a busy street, I don't think either of us realized that it was something that could happen…"

"But still...I…" Molly looked truly distraught, she looked the way that Maddie felt to be honest.

"Molly, these men...my...I...well...I would have been grabbed regardless. I'm just glad they waited until I was alone."

"John told me about it being because of Jim."

Maddie felt her stomach clench, churn, and roll around at the utter of Moriarty's name. She was utterly terrified of Connor, that was for sure-but Jim had been smart enough to use Connor as a tool, nothing more. That was terrifying. Two horribly evil men lurking around London...don't think about that, don't think about that, don't think about that…

"Told you that you were better off without him."

And with that the tension in the room broke. Molly realized there was nothing to apologize for, and Maddie realized that well at least someone didn't feel like it was her fault.

"I'm surprised Sherlock isn't here. Every other time I came up to see you, he was here watching you sleep."

"That makes it sound creepy. John said something similar, that Sherlock didn't leave much. I'm surprised. I think it was just because he wanted answers." Maddie explained, moving to sit up a bit more than she had been with a wince.

"Yeah, uh...about that…"

"I guess they told you?" Maddie couldn't help but give a slight smile at that, it wasn't surprising. Honestly she wasn't sure how much of a secret she wanted to keep it now, didn't really seem to matter even when she pretended to be someone else, her secret wasn't safe.

"I walked in on them...Sherlock and John arguing about it. Sherlock didn't understand, but I think John did." Molly said.

"John is very understanding." Maddie started, trying to keep the flash of John's face out of her head, "Just wanted to get away from being...Madeline Stark. I mean, my dad did a good job keeping the press away most of the time...but it was still there. At least here I was just me…"

Don't cry.

Molly must have realized she was close to tears, moving she took Maddie's hands in hers. "Hey, you're still you. Just you with a super-hero billionaire for a Dad." She was quiet for a moment and then gave a laugh, "No wonder you always insisted on paying for drinks."

Maddie couldn't help but smile at that.

"So you're not mad?"

Molly rolled her eyes, "Of course not. You're in the hospital, how can I be mad? And it's not like it was some serious secret like you're actually a serial killer or something."

"That you know of."

"Funny. I don't think anyone is mad at you, just worried. I don't think Sherlock was waiting for answers...I think he was worried about you...I...I've never seen him like that." Molly explained, her face flushing a little.

"No?"

"No. I mean, I guess it's silly I've always wanted him to notice me...the way he's noticed you."

Wait...what?

"I...Molly I don't think he thinks of me the way you think he thinks of me."

"You didn't see him Maddie, I don't even think he realizes it…"

"I'm sorry." And Maddie was, she knew Molly had a crush on Sherlock. Hell, anyone knew that. Maddie really couldn't understand it though, sure Sherlock was a friend...but...more? No way. He didn't think of her that way. He had watched over her waiting for answers. He left as soon as he got them.

Well, no...he left as soon as her Dad got there.

But still, Sherlock didn't care about her that way. Just a friend.

Molly shrugged, "It's okay, I'll find someone with better cheekbones."

"Better cheekbones than Sherlock? I think not."

And they laughed. It was exactly what Maddie needed. She needed to get out of her own head. She needed to stop thinking about her Dad's words. She needed to stop thinking about how weak she was...and just be. She was still breathing, and that's what mattered.

Molly stayed for awhile, apparently it was a slow day in the morgue. Molly even set out to the vending machines to grab them Diet Cokes and a few sweets.

Mostly the conversation was Molly asking questions about what Maddie's dad was like. Maddie didn't have the heart to tell Molly that she didn't really want to talk about her dad at the moment. The main thing Molly was curious had been what everyone was curious about, "What was it like to live with Iron Man?"

"It's...it was different. I mean, it was normal too. We would sit and have dinners together sometimes, usually on Friday nights. Order take out and eat, afterwards we'd watch movies. Sometimes I would stay up really late while he worked down in his workshop. He tried his hardest to get me interested in robotics…"

"Too complex?" Molly asked, curious.

Maddie tilted her head back and forth trying to figure out a way to put it. Her secret life as a Stark was pretty much in the open so there wasn't much sense to keep other things to herself. "No, I understood it...I'm...well, my boss seems to think I'm smarter than my Dad. I just, don't have the same interests. My dad has fun building robots, I have fun translating books. He teases me about it."

Molly gave a small laugh, "And here I was hoping you could build me a robotic maid."

"Well...I probably could...I just wouldn't enjoy it." Maddie said with a smile, which ended up turning into a frown thinking about her Dad again.

"You okay?"

Maddie chewed on the inside of her cheek and gave a slight shrug, "My dad and I had a fight before you got here...well more like a few hours before you got here. I thought he'd be back here by now."

Molly nodded, "He's probably just worried, and maybe a little stressed-he was on the news…"

"Saving the world, I know. I understand, I do. I just wish...I don't like having things like this just...in the air. I want us to apologize to each other and be back to normal. He wanted me to move back to Malibu."

"Oh."

"Don't worry, I told him no."

Molly gave a sheepish grin, "What can I say, I'm fully enjoying this new friendship of ours-would hate to see you leave."

"Me too, trust me."

"Oh shoot, I need to be downstairs...didn't realize the time." Molly said, glancing at her watch. "I can come back tomorrow though…"

"My doctor said I might be able to go home. Not sure, but yeah if I'm here come around."

"Well, rest up. Bye Maddie."

"Bye Molly, thanks for cheering me up."

Molly left. Leaving Maddie with her thoughts again. This time though she tried to keep them positive as she tried to sleep.

John Watson wasn't entirely sure what to think of Tony Stark. The man with the glowing blue light coming from his chest had walked into Maddie's flat less than an hour after John arrived. John had spent the time before Tony returned making tea for Sherlock and himself, as well as checking in on Mrs. Hudson and meeting Pepper Potts who apparently had heard a lot about him. It made him happy to hear how highly Maddie thought of him. It was nice, in an odd way to be looked up to. Pepper had said that Maddie really didn't have a normal male figure to look up to in her life, first her step-father, and then Tony who according to Pepper "Meant well, but is eccentric and slightly erratic sometimes."

John was the normal one. He could deal with that.

He could see what Pepper meant when Tony arrived. Despite the dark haired man only being a few inches taller than John, he insisted on calling John 'Little John', and without much introduction or conversation he was having John help. Help install an AI system. Certainly wasn't something he thought he'd ever be doing.

Sherlock helped some as well, all the men having the one goal in mind: Keep Maddie safe.

John could see how similar Maddie was to her Dad while they all worked together. They had the same look of concentration, the same shade of eyes, and some of the mannerisms and movements were the same. Not to mention the fact that Tony ate as much (if not more) than Maddie did. Whereas Sherlock couldn't eat while busy, Tony had little packets of blueberries and biscuits laying around to eat. Tony even went as far to call Pepper down to ask her to order them all food since the wiring was in fact going to take all night.

It was hard to believe this man, shoving blueberries in his mouth as he hooked wires up into the walls of Baker Street was Iron Man.

"Kind of makes sense I suppose." John finally said, after they had worked quietly for well over an hour.

"What does?" It was Sherlock who was asking.

"Maddie...she…" Tony paused what he was doing to glance over at John with a brow raised, "Well she talks about you a lot." John said, nodding his head to Tony, "Like, a lot-and looks forward to your phone calls...I didn't understand why there weren't any pictures."

Tony smiled, "She just wanted to be a normal girl."

"She moved into the wrong flat for that." John said. And whatever tension that had been floating around in the flat between the three men seemed to lift.

By the time Pepper arrived with enough curry to feed twenty people, they had finished wiring the living room and kitchen as well as the front door. Maddie's bathroom and bedroom were the last on the list. It was getting late, John didn't need to look at the clock to know that it had to be past midnight. They ate at Maddie's table, even Pepper stayed down to eat-citing that Mrs. Hudson needed her rest.

It was Pepper that helped bridge the conversations. "So, outside of this-Maddie really seems to be liking it here."

"Enough to risk her life on it." Tony said with a sigh and a frown. John didn't blame the man. It did seem silly for her to stay considering if she moved back home she'd be living with a super-hero.

"I dare say she's safer here." It was Sherlock that spoke, but it wasn't his usual condescending 'I know more than you' tone, "It is still not widely known to many people she is living in London, let alone people that might come after her because of you."

Tony frowned, "I just don't see the point of the risk. It's like standing next to a bomb hoping it doesn't go off...that's what it's like for her to stay here."

John was the one to interject this time, "But it's what she wants. It's not about her safety it's about what she wants. She's not cowering, she's not running home to be protected by a super-hero...I think that's something we should encourage."

"And what do you know about it, you weren't around after the first time-she fell apart-she will again...she needs me to be there." It was clear that it wasn't about safety. It was about Tony trying to be a good father.

"Being there isn't a matter of your location, she knows you are there for her." Sherlock, surprisingly enough joining the conversation again. "You're building this AI system to watch over her, that's you being there for her."

The table was quiet.

"You were there...with her…?" It was Tony, speaking after a few minutes...to John. How Tony got that information John wasn't sure.

"I was...briefly."

Enough to have the image of her bloody and beaten from torture burned into his brain.

"Is it worth the risk to have this happen to her again...because this was the second time in her life she's been hurt by that piece of shit. Is it worth it? Is her staying here, where she wishes worth it?"

John was silent for a minute. He looked down at the remains of his curry. He really honestly wasn't sure which would be better. If Maddie stayed it did open up the risk for her to be hurt again, especially with Moriarty and her step-father still out there lurking around...yet it was a known risk. They would be aware of the possibility of something happening and thus...prepare and keep her as safe as possible.

"I was only with her briefly when it was happening...by that point I think she had been missing for awhile, it was clear she had been through...a lot. I think if this is where she wants to stay we need to respect that, especially knowing what she had been through. She was utterly terrified when I saw her, and to think that she is aware of the risk still out there...and that she still wants to stay here instead of run home...I think that says something." John sighed.

It was Sherlock who continued, "Moriarty I believe is not going to be quick to move, and it did look like he had a good hold on her step-father as well so I don't foresee him going off on his own. He's too invested, if he does move on his own it will be sloppy and we'll see him coming from a distance."

"But you can't guarantee that." Tony pointed out.

"I would stake my life on it."

"It's not your life on the line!" It seemed like the calm that they had found before their midnight meal was starting to fade away. Leading to a staring contest between Sherlock and Tony while Pepper and John looked at the two as if they were watching a tennis match.

"I think we're forgetting its not up to us to decide what Maddie does." Pepper pointed out as she dabbed a napkin to her lips. "You two can fight all night long, but it doesn't matter. I don't want anything to happen to her again either, but she's a grown woman. This is her choice, we have to respect it and do what we can to help keep her safe."

She had a no-nonsense tone. It was the, 'this subject won't be spoken of again, stop arguing' type of tone. John remembered his mother had a very similar tone. The type of women who was quiet until she's had enough.

"Sorry Pep, it's just...you know." Tony sighed, his hands rubbing at his face trying to wake himself up. "We'll get back to work then. Once Jarvis is running I'll feel better about her being here." Tony seemed keen to go back to semi-ignoring Sherlock. John figured it was only a matter of time before the two had a screaming match that the entire block could hear.

Despite the two being less than friendly they worked together well. Sherlock helped Tony silently with the wiring as John pulled back floor boards and boards around the doors. They had agreed it would be easier if they worked with the boards instead of trying to open the walls up completely. It was a long task at hand, and occasionally Tony would stop what he was doing to look around. He would pick up a bottle of Maddie's perfume that sat on the bathroom counter and sigh, or touch a towel hanging over her shower door with a sigh.

John didn't want to ever have to comprehend how it hurt. It hurt him enough to see his friend badly injured, hurt him that to protect her they had to install some kind of computer system. He couldn't imagine the hurt Tony felt.

She had slept poorly. It reminded her of the sleep she got whenever she managed to drink too much (which really wasn't that often). She slept, but she didn't sleep well, and she woke up feeling sick. Her pain medication had worn off through the night, and being completely aware of every hurt in her body made her want to curl up and cry. Thankfully she didn't even have time to call for someone before a nurse walked in, ready to pump more medicine into her veins.

"Your doctor is making his rounds and should be around shortly." The nurse looked frazzled, busy. It was all Maddie could do just to nod. She watched the women leave and gave a sigh. She would love a shower. She would actually love to go home and pretend nothing had happened.

She had been busy contemplating all the laying around she would do at home when Pepper walked in. She looked fresh faced and less tearful than she was the night before. She had her 'take charge' face on. It left Maddie wondering what her dad had been up to since he left.

"I brought you some clothes and figured we could make you a bit more presentable."

"Thank you Pepper, I was just thinking about how awful I must be looking." Maddie gave a smile, trust Pepper to know exactly what was needed in the situation.

"I'll help you out of bed then, we can shuffle to the bathroom and see what we can do."

It took a few minutes to get to the bathroom. First she had to find her footing, after days of being in bed it had been difficult. She also was dragging along an IV, but that helped balance her. Once in the bathroom she was thankful that the catheter had been taken out.

The mirror revealed just how awful she really looked. Maddie couldn't help the tears that welled up in her eyes. Her hair was indeed a mess, but her face was discolored. Shades of purple, green, yellow swirled over her skin. Not just her face, but also leading down under her hospital gown. Some cuts were visible, the shallow ones, others hidden under bandages. She swallowed hard.

"Hey don't cry, a little bit of makeup and some more comfortable clothes and you'll be looking better. Here, sit." Pepper put the lid of the toilet down and helped Maddie into a sitting position.

Pepper had a large bag with her, and soon enough Maddie found out why it was so big. Not only did it have clothes for her, but everything else under the sun. Pepper truly was like Mary Poppins sometimes. First there was the dry shampoo, followed by brushing (even as careful as Pepper was it still hurt) her hair. Once that was done Pepper took the time to put Maddie's hair in braids.

It reminded Maddie of the first time. She and Pepper were always at an arms length, never wanting to jump over the line of 'mom' or even 'step-mom' but when it first happened, when she first came to live with Tony, it was Pepper that had helped her out. Much like now when her dad was MIA.

"I wish my hair was as thick as yours." Pepper had said, which was something she often said.

"It's a pain in the summer." Which was something Maddie often said. It was all too routine.

Once her hair was done, Pepper took the time to carefully help Maddie with her face. A warm washcloth pressed against aching bruises, the simple act making her feel more clean, more awake. More alive.

The press liked to tear Pepper apart more often than not. She was cold according to the press. She was...unfriendly. Yet privately Pepper was kind, she was loving. Pepper took care of Maddie in ways Tony wasn't able to. He was a good father, he really was-but due to his own upbringing pieces of him were missing. Pepper made up for that. It was why they worked so well together.

In her kindness, Pepper helped Maddie out of her hospital gown and into something more comfortable yet sensible. It was clear Pepper had went shopping. Lounge clothes. Comfortable black pants and a soft green linen button up that was a size too big to keep from getting in the way of bandages and aching ribs. Socks were next, chunky purple socks that in a hospital were just the right amount of warmth. "Looking better already." Pepper proclaimed as they finished the task of dressing Maddie (which wasn't easy considering she was still hooked up to an IV-that had taken some maneuvering).

The last step was some make up. "You don't have to cake it on, I know I'm going to be bruised for awhile."

Pepper nodded at that, and simply brushed a little powder on to at least take some of the darkness of the bruises down a notch, some mascara, some lip gloss. It was silly, dressing yourself up, putting make up on-but Pepper knew it would help make Maddie feel better. It did.

She felt more like herself, like there was more control to the situation now that she wasn't sitting ratty haired in a hospital gown.

"There we go, now you look more like you." Pepper said with a smile, putting things back into her Mary Poppins sized bag.

"I'm just glad you thought of it. Dad wouldn't...which...I mean...where is he?...Is he really mad?"

Pepper led the way back to the hospital bed, helping Maddie hop back on. "He's not mad. He's...coping."

Maddie chewed on the inside of her mouth remembering the days after the first time when Tony tried his best to ignore her...coping.

"He's doing something right now but should be over in a few hours." Pepper continued.

"I just wish he'd realize he can't keep me safe." Maddie confessed with a sigh, "I don't want to live in some bubble."

"I know sweetie. Trust me, I know. Normally he probably would have reacted...better. With New York happening and then this, I think he's just scared because he isn't able to protect us all the time."

"I know, I do. Understanding to a fault, that's Maddie." A huff quoting nearly everyone who met her. "I just wish he didn't make me feel bad for this...I know he didn't mean to...it just...hurts y'know."

Before either women could continue they were interrupted by the doctor walking in. Pepper excused herself promising she'd be back with a better breakfast than the hospital had to offer, leaving Maddie to be poked and prodded.

"It looks like we might be discharging you this afternoon. Doesn't look like anything is out of order. We'll have to write a few prescriptions to help you manage your pain, and you'll have to get your stitches removed in a week…"

"Can that be done by anyone? I mean, any doctor? I have a friend who is a doctor that can do it…" She rambled on assuming John would be willing.

"Yes, I suppose so." He glanced over her chart, writing down a few things. "The main thing is you're going to need to rest up as much as you can. Your ribs will take awhile to heal completely and you don't want to go about knocking them around."

Maddie nodded, honestly anything to get her out of the hospital. Was she absolutely terrified of living alone while her step-father was out there? Yes, yes she was. Was it a manageable fear? Yes. Maddie was aware she would more than likely spend the following weeks depressed, but it was better to be depressed at home than at the hospital.

"We'll let you rest a bit more, a nurse will be by later with some discharge paper work."

And off he went. And she was alone with her thoughts again.

She stayed sitting up as best she could manage, listening to people walk past her door and the simple sounds of the hospital. Maddie didn't really want to turn the television on, she figured there would be too much coverage of New York going on and she didn't want to see her Dad's face plastered all over the screen.

Instead she reached out for the stack of cards that seemed to pile up while she was sleeping. The first few she opened were from Molly. She had went 'get well' card crazy. Maddie knew that her friend was just trying to cheer her up. All the cards from her featured animals doing cute or funny things. They were all signed in Molly's loopy signature after a brief message about how truly happy she was that everything was okay. There was a card from Director Fury, not sent by mail so it would have been carried in. She wasn't sure how that happened, but she supposed it was best not to ask questions. It was a simple card with a sunrise on the cover. The inside simply said, "Enjoy the vacation, get better, then get your ass back to work-we'll need you."

She figured most people didn't get Hallmark Cards from Fury, but also realized she had known him since she was a teenager. While he was trying to get her Dad to join SHIELD, Fury was also managing to make Maddie more and more curious. He was like some strange uncle, who was also a boss. Kind of like Coulson.

She wondered going through the cards, why there wasn't one from Coulson. But maybe he was busy after everything with New York. Probably. They would have told her if something happened to him...right?

Yeah. It was okay.

The last card she opened was on tasteful stationary. The kind of nice stationary that people had for looks usually. The envelope was soft to the touch. The card inside was just as fancy, but generic-another sunrise...or was that a sunset over London? Inside of the card was something that filled her with terror.

"Get well soon, don't forget your promise! Looking forward to seeing you! Toodles, JM"

She chewed the inside of her cheek, trying to calm herself down. She should have seen it coming-it wasn't like him wanting to torture her mentally wasn't obvious. She tore the card, and the envelope into bits and pieces. With each tear telling herself that it would be okay, she wouldn't let them hurt her again even though she really was in the line of fire. She'd figure out a way to stay and be safe.

She was tossing the shredded pieces in the trash when Pepper reappeared with a bag filled with breakfast. Good timing.

"I found pastry and coffee!"

"You are truly amazing, I hope you know that." And with that, Maddie pushed Moriarty's card out of her head.

It was going to be okay.