Rin seemed to have fallen in love with the sun.

Not the real sun of course, but what he would imagine the sun to look like if he was a person - green eyes and a smile warmer than the hottest day in summer. That sun's name was Makoto Tachibana, his roommate, and if there was not one thing Rin wanted it was to have that sunlight shining on him.

"Hey Rin, can you help me pronounce this word?"

Rin looked away from the window he had been gazing into. He could lie and say he was looking at the falling snow, but he knew he was really studying the face he could see in the reflection of frosted glass. He looked at Makoto and shrugged before shuffling over in his socks, sitting down beside Makoto at the coffee table. He looked down to the textbook.

"Adulation."

Makoto stared at him with a confused tilt of his head and a sheepish smile asking for explanation. Rin was focused on the corners of his mouth and fighting the urge to push Makoto's glasses up the bridge of his nose (or just taking them off to see those green eyes without the glass barrier). He had to remind himself to keep talking. He had to focus on the technical thoughts or the emotional ones would pour out instead.

"Excessive devotion," he said, and then he grinned to tease. "Like you and Nanase for example."

That made Makoto smile and elbow him although Rin regretted his own words. He definitely should not have said that. He forced his grin as Makoto chuckled and called him silly before getting back to work.

Rin stood up again, going back to sit and look out the window. The snow had stopped falling. He wondered if Haruka had asked Makoto out yet. It was obvious Nanase was in love with Makoto. Rin could see it in the way he doted on Makoto in small gestures or in the way he glared at Rin every time Rin stopped by Makoto's university after a run. Makoto had to be the only one too oblivious to notice.

He bit the inside of his cheek very lightly and could faintly taste the coppery tang of blood as he accidentally punctured it with his tiny razors of teeth. He wanted what they had. What Nanase had. He wanted Makoto so badly that he was certain it was some sort of curse heavy on his shoulders, but being around Makoto, actually being near him, made him happier than he had ever been. The need to be near Makoto and the pain of wanting more than friendship were conflicting in his chest, turbulent and churning like the waves of the ambivalent ocean.

He wanted to let it go. Rin had been able to do it so easily with anyone else he had liked enough to call it a crush, but what he felt for Makoto was something foreign and terrifying. Rin finally understood what all those authors were talking about when they wrote love like it was a constant fall. Like snowflakes crashing into the snow and piling higher and higher until you were drowning in them.

They were in Rin's throat. He could feel the cool heaviness there. The urge to release a song full of notes without the lyrics. He wrote his feelings in his journal, but that was never enough. Nothing was enough if he could not have that smile turned toward him. He sighed softly and blew his breath against the glass. He wondered what he should do. He idly wrote his name in the now foggy glass before writing Makoto's under it. He paused to stare at it before erasing it again.

He had to take the chance.

Rin turned around to look at Makoto again. Those green eyes were trained on his textbook, mouthing the words and syllables in clumsy English. Rin opened his mouth, but he closed it again, sighing and turning back to the window. Now was not the right time. He would do it later. Perhaps tomorrow. He reached to play with the ring band Makoto had given him for his birthday a few days before. He could feel the ridges of where the waves and lines had been carved in.

Wait, Valentine's Day.

Rin had completely forgotten about Valentine's Day.

He could give Makoto a gift that reflected how he felt, and if Makoto pretended to take it as a friend or said 'no', then he would have his answer.

Rin frowned at the thought of being rejected and could taste something bitter on his tongue, like bad coffee brewed too long and too bitter to swallow. He tried to forget it, but it was stuck there. He stood up to go to his room, leaving Makoto to study on his own.

Rin sighed as he fell back on his bed, bare feet and ankles hanging over the edge. He reached to rub his face with his hands. He did not even know what to do, but he was determined now that he had decided to do it. He slid his hands down to rest on his chest as he stared at the ceiling. He could write something, but he was only good at English.

Another sigh. Rin had decided that a crush had to be the worst plague of his existence. Maybe more than that. He moved his hands to feel where his heart was. He could feel his heartbeat, the steady bathump, through the pads of his slender fingers. He counted the beats, and with each one he thought of another reason why he liked Makoto Tachibana.

Rin closed his eyes. His heartbeat was even louder when he did that. The steady drumming became white noise as ideas of what to do ran through his head.

He had always dreamt of falling in love when he was little before he went to visit Australia for the first time after his father died. Then all of his dreams of the future turned into becoming the best translator and learning different languages and different cultures. Then that became the only thing he thought about.

Then he just had to get an apartment in the city near his university and meet Makoto who fucked up everything.

He opened his eyes and sat up on his bed. Quietly, Rin crept to his bedroom door and cracked it open. The hallway was dark, but he could see the livingroom light at the end. Makoto was still studying. That meant he was still awake. He pushed open his door the rest of the way and walked back finding Makoto exactly as he assumed he would. Makoto was still at the table, struggling over his English studies. Rin sat next to him and took his textbook.

Makoto looked relieved as Rin started explaining some things he had highlighted and underlined. Rin thought it was cute how Makoto had just simply drawn question marks around some of the things in his textbook. It also made it really easy for him to teach him what he needed to know. They managed to finish Makoto's homework in less than an hour. Makoto was relieved, usually he would be up all night doing it, and he had not even gotten to his Calculus.

Makoto tugged out his list of problems as Rin began talking. "So... if you were to get something for Valentine's Day, what would you want?" Real sly Rin. He almost felt like punching himself for how subtle he was being. Hopefully Makoto would not notice.

"Huh?" Makoto asked and adjusted his glasses back up his nose to look at Rin. He then looked away to think a little. Rin watched as he tapped his pen thoughtfully against his lips. Shit. Not helping him think at all. Rin looked away himself, focusing on the wall behind Makoto. "Oh, I don't know. Something chocolate maybe? I really love chocolate, and a nice card. Most of all... I guess I want my Valentine to think special of me? That might be silly," he said with a soft, embarrassed laugh.

Rin shook his head, looking at Makoto again. "When I was little I tried to buy a star for my Valentine," he said. He memorised what Makoto told him. That all was relatively simple. Hopefully.

"A star? How?" Makoto asked surprised, his eyes widening and showing even more of that green colour that drove Rin absolutely insane.

"Well...," Rin said in a way that said that it was a little bit of a long story. "I tried to save enough money for it, but it turned out they cost more than a few hundred yen. I ended up just getting her a card and keychain of a star instead." He then looked at the ground a little sheepishly. "I started the card 'for my star'. You can't get any more silly than that."

Makoto shook his head and laughed. He touched Rin's face and cupped it with his hands. "Who would have thought you were such a sweet kid?"

Rin ignored the stupid drumming of his chest as he felt Makoto's fingers on his skin and the way the touch was making his cheeks tingle. He instead gave a small, sharkish grin, showing a bit of his teeth. "What? I'm not sweet now?"

"Just a little bit," Makoto said his smile softening as he continued to hold Rin's face. He idly stroked Rin's cheeks without really thinking about. He was just looking at Rin as if studying him, making Rin's heartbeat increase with every passing moment. He definitely could not pull away. He just stayed close as Makoto thought. "Actually, you're very sweet. You're like a dark chocolate with a sweet cherry centre."

"... Did you really just say that?"

Makoto nodded and grinned innocently. Rin swore Makoto was automatically some kind of flirting saint. Rin cleared his throat and resisted his urge to rub his cheeks and feel if they were hot. "That's so ridiculous," he said, "but... if you were a chocolate you'd be one of those truffles that are so sweet they give every kid a stomachache." It was no exaggeration. Makoto was so sweet Rin's stomach hurt from how the butterflies fluttered inside of it.

Makoto laughed again and pushed him lightly before standing. "Think so?" he asked as he stretched out his kinks from sitting too long. Rin looked up at him and nodded. He grinned again, but this one was easier with his distraction not looking him in the eye.

"Sweetest candy in the whole damn box," he said.

Makoto smiled at him and nodded. He looked at the time. "I think I'm going to shower then finish up my Calculus," he said. It was not due until next week, but Makoto needed to catch a train to see his siblings and house sit while his parents went out for a Valentine's date. He was cheaper than a sitter, and the twins were terrible with new people.

Rin nodded, and he watched Makoto disappear to the bathroom. He sighed and flopped on the carpet. "So chocolate...," he murmured thinking to himself. He would go to the store tomorrow.

xoxo

Rin ended up staring at the wide assortment of chocolate available in the closest store away from anyone he knew. He tugged the bill of his baseball cap to further hide his face. His friend Nitori had suggested he wear a disguise, but... It was a dumb idea. Rin just settled on using a scarf to hide most of his face.

Why was there so much chocolate? Christ. Rin did not even know where to start. He looked at the various candies, trying to guess which Makoto would like the most. He ends up sighing in frustration as he decided Makoto would just like all of them. He would just buy what's cheapest, but he felt like that would not be good enough.

Rin started to walk around the store, trying to make a decision. He ended up in front of a small assortment of cookbooks. He lifted one up and stared at it. He could make the chocolate. Makoto would probably like that. Plus, the idea definitely appealed to his old love of romantic cliches. He decided to go for it, taking the book with him to the counter.

He was already reading it as he left the store. He flipped to the first page and frowned. It looked more complicated than he would have thought. He would need to buy some things. He had to buy them before he went back to the apartment at least. He also would have to make them without getting caught by Makoto. Maybe Nitori would let him make them over at his place.

Rin called Nitori as he made his way around the grocery store, making a face at all the things he needed. Well, there went most of the birthday money his mother had sent him. "Shit. Who schedules a test on Valentine's Day?" Rin sighed. "No. It's fine. I'll figure something out."

Rin hung up the phone and eyed some orange extract before jamming it in his shopping cart with everything else. He remembered Makoto had an outrageously huge fondness of the fruit. He could add that to the chocolate. The recipe asked for Red Hots, but Makoto had a sweet tooth. Rin was the one who was not so big on candy and would probably take the spicy candy over pure, sugary indulgence.

That and the shark gummies he had bought at the counter. He ate them as he walked back to the apartment, thinking about what to do. He would just tell Makoto he was making chocolates for someone else. He did not want to lie, but he was not ready to break the surprise just yet.

Rin announced his presence with a light rap of his knuckles on their apartment door before pushing it open. He looked around and noticed Makoto's shoes not in the entryway. Good. The other was out. Hopefully things would stay that way until he finished. The recipe did not really give a preparation time, but Rin did not expect it to be very hard or to take very long.

He hung his coat in the entry way before heading to the kitchen. Rin tugged up his sleeves before opening the recipe book to the page he had bookmarked. "Fudge Hearts," he read out loud. This should be super easy. It was just chocolate hearts dipped in fondant.

He grabbed a baking pan, frowning when he actually had to get a specific size. He guessed it was big enough, if not a centimetre too short. Rin lined the pan with aluminium foil before spritzing it with cooking spray. "Fuck," Rin muttered as he added a little too much. He had to wipe it up a bit with a paper towel before moving on to the next step.

Semi-sweet chocolate chips, sweet condensed milk, and salt are dumped into a microwavable bowl. A little spilt onto the counter, but Rin reassured himself he can just clean up the mess later. He tossed it in the microwave. He apparently had to stir every forty-five seconds - which was more of a hassle than he liked.

A soft sigh left his lips and he rolled his wrist around before adding small spoonfuls of the vanilla and orange extracts. More stirring and a bunch of cursing at the mess he was making later, he got to dump the chocolate in the pan.

Wait, what the hell? He had to let it sit in the refrigerator for two hours?

A large groan sounded throughout the kitchen and a scowl formed on Rin's lips. He decided to say a big 'fuck you' to the directions and stick the pan in the freezer as he cleaned. It would be done faster that way. He got to work on cleaning up the chocolate that had spilt when he was stirring. (Rin had to note that stirring faster just made a mess rather than helping and aide him in his impatience.)

Rin heard Makoto before he saw him, green eyes fixating on the mess in the kitchen before looking at Rin curiously who was scrubbing at the counter. "What are you doing?" he asked picking up a chocolate chip from the counter and inspecting it before popping it into his mouth. He broke into a wide smile. "Are you making chocolate?" he asked.

Rin's breath caught in his throat as he thought of a quick lie. "Yeah. I'm making them for someone in my class," he said. As soon as the words were out, he wished he had thought of a better one, but the simpler the better. His incarnadine eyes looked up to Makoto, and for a split second, he thought he saw disappointment flicker across those gentle features.

"I'm sure they'll love it. You're working really hard," he said before taking a few more chocolate chips off the counter and putting them in his mouth. "Want me to help?"

Rin shook his head. Maybe a little too soon. "You made instant noodles catch on fire by forgetting water once. No way," he said and began to show Makoto to the kitchen door. He did everything but actually push him out. He needed to hurry and get to checking on the fudge.

Rin let out a breath of relief once he had successfully got Makoto out of the kitchen. He opened the freezer and took out the now chilled pan. He poked the chocolate and felt how firm it was. He grinned. His idea had worked. He knew what he was doing. Rin reassured himself of this as he lifted the fudge from the pan using the foil. He found his heartshaped cookie cutter and began to make the hearts into the chocolate, re-rolling it to make sure he used his money's worth.

Chocolate coated his hands by the time he had around forty-eight hearts - which was a shitload. Rin was certain Makoto would eat all of them although and just carried the foil and placed them in the fridge this time to chill as he searched for the steel bowl he knew he had somewhere. He set it inside the saucepan. The fondant was a little hard to break and bits flew everywhere, but with a little frustration Rin broke it all and had it smooth within minutes. He thought about it before adding a few more drops of orange extract and finishing it up.

Rin put the still hot (too hot - he burned his fucking finger on the handle) boiler to the side and found a baking sheet. He wondered why they even had these things in their apartment when neither of them really cooked. Makoto was terrible in the kitchen, and Rin only knew the basics.

More aluminium foil covered the baking sheet. Rin then dumped some powdered sugar on it and sort of shook it around until it coated the sheet (the directions said "dust", but that took too long). Rin smoothed a hand through his hair, making a face as he managed to get powdered sugar mixed in with the red strands. Still, he had more to do. He would have to clean himself off later. He dug through the silverware drawer for a fork to dip the chocolate hearts in the pink fondant. It was harder than the directions made it seem. Rin spit out vulgarities whenever he dropped one into the bowl and had to poke around to find the damn thing again.

Rin was pretty sure this was the most he had cursed in his life.

He wiped his fondant and chocolate covered hands on his clothes. Damn. Now he saw why his sister always criticised him for not wearing an apron. He just hoped the pink would wash out his jeans. He went to find the red and green sprinkles he had bought for decorating. The sprinkles were shaped like stars. This time although he was not saying that same corny line he said to that girl in elementary school.

Makoto was back again (or maybe he just never really left), and he surprised Rin by stepping behind him. "Are they done?" he asked as he dragged a finger along Rin's cheek to lick some of the chocolate Rin had managed to coat himself in.

Rin sometimes seriously wondered if the brunet had any idea what he did to him.

He looked at the chocolates and moved the pan to rest on a cleaner spot on the counter. "Yeah, but they have to set," he said reaching a hand up to brush away some of his fringe and incidentally over where Makoto's fingers had brushed his face. Damn. Not only had he gotten some powdered sugar and chocolate in his hair, but his skin was tingling where Makoto's touch had been. Again.

Makoto handed him a damp cloth, already helping with the clean up without asking. He sent a gentle smile Rin's way, making Rin absentmindedly reach for the cloth to hold against his face. Only when Makoto turned around to start wiping down the counter did Rin shake some sense into himself. He focused on cleaning his face, hair, and even trying to wipe down his jeans rather than looking at his roommate that was way too fucking close to him in the small kitchenette.

"The person you made these for is really lucky," Makoto suddenly said, his voice drawing Rin's glaring eyes from the pink stains in his pants to the softly smiling face wiping the counter. "I bet they're delicious."

"I... Thanks," Rin replied unsure what else to say. He did not want to reveal anything. Not yet. He just quietly went to shower off the still sticky feeling on his skin. He was sure right then he tasted like sugar.

Maybe Makoto was right about him being sweet. At least literally he was.

He mulled over the thought as he undressed and stepped in to take a quick shower as the bath water ran. He switched off both taps before sinking into the green-tinted waters of his bath. "The person you made these for is really lucky," he repeated softly. He looked up at the ceiling and reached up a hand to smell his skin. He never cared what soap he used, so whenever he accidentally used Makoto's it was always a pleasant surprise. He sank deeper into the water. He still had yet to decide what he was going to say. A simple, "Hey Tachibana, I think I like you. Wanna date?" would not do.

And if Makoto was already with Nanase. Well, that was that. He lifted a hand to run through his wet hair. "Okay... It's just simple. I'm sure being with someone else is great. Hell, you've been asked out by a shitload of girls I'd pick over me, but I love you. In the really, big sappy romantic way where your smile is contagious, you colour my dreams, and there's sunshine in your eyes kind of sappy cliche that somewhat makes me resent you type of love you," Rin said practising the words. "And even if I'm not your type- I..." Rin sighed unable to finish and sunk under the water all the way. There was no way he could ever say that to Makoto's face. He could not even say all of that out loud to himself.

Maybe he could just be all kinds of cheesy and give Makoto a note. At least he will not die of embarrassment immediately.

Rin dried off and re-went over the words in his head. It was probably the worst sort of confession, but it was what he really thought. His stomach churned from the idea of cutting out the heart on his sleeve and pasting it on paper. Even writing the words made him nervous.

The towel hung limply around Rin's neck as he sat down at his bed. He found some copy paper and a red pen to write with. He was not going to cut out a heart, but he would write in Valentine colours. "And even if I'm not your type, I just wanted to hurry up and say it before you just figured it out because it is getting harder and harder not to stare at you. You'd be an idiot not to notice." Rin nibbled on the end of his pen as he kept thinking of what to write. He managed in a few more lines before he grew drowsy. His eyes slipped closed, and the pen that had been hanging from his lips fell down to the desk. Rin's head soon fell down after it.

In the morning, Rin woke up with a cheek of red ink. He rubbed his face without knowing about it, making it worse. Makoto was the first to point it with a giggle way too high for a man his size and a not-so-sorry apology as he handed Rin the towel he had just finished drying his face with.

Rin was too tired to be irked by it, walking to the kitchen to get something to drink before getting dressed for his daily run. He liked to stay healthy. It was just a thing he liked to do. Plus, he needed to clear his head before confessing to Makoto later. It was Valentine's Day, and he could already see people being cheesily romantic on the street.

It made him want to vomit.

Or a little jealous.

Maybe both.

He ran for about forty-five minutes before making it back to his apartment complex and unlocking the door. "Makoto?" he called checking if the other was there. Seemed he was gone again. That was strange. Makoto did not usually leave so often, and he did not have class or work that Friday.

Maybe he was on a date.

Rin shook his head. Makoto would tell him that. There was no way in hell. He was just fishing for excuses to toss out the confession letter and the chocolates. He went to the kitchen and began to put the chocolates in a metal tin he had bought just for this purpose. He had really thought out every detail, even to the design on the tin. He had found one with a cat on the top because Makoto loved them.

He slipped his note in the tin as well before placing the gift to the side of the counter. Now all he had to do was wait until Makoto came home. He went to the livingroom and stretched out on the floor. He could change out of his running clothes, but he honestly was too comfortable.

And nervous. Rin felt his stomach churning again, and his heartbeat trying to pick up. He stared at the ceiling and concentrated on remaining calm. He closed his eyes and just counted breaths until he heard the front door open.

"Hey, you shouldn't sleep on the floor. You might catch a cold," Makoto said kneeling down alongside him. Rin slid open his eyes to meet the peridot ones looking down at him. Rin just shrugged.

"Wasn't asleep."

"Thinking about what to say your Valentine?" Makoto teased, but he was right on the mark.

Rin sat up and moved to stand. "Stay there," he said as he went to the kitchen. He was nervous again. All that courage he had built up in what felt like a millennium for Makoto to come home had just flown away. His nerves were so bad he could hardly hear himself think as he brought the tin to the livingroom and put it in Makoto's hands.

"Happy Valentine's Day." Rin was staring into his lap as he said the words. He called himself brave for doing this in person, but the fact he wasn't brave at all. He was nervous and terrified of rejection even if he had prepared himself for it. He lightly bit the inside of his cheek as he heard Makoto opening the tin and taking out the note.

"Okay. It's simpl-"

Rin's hands covered Makoto's mouth. "Don't read it out loud stupid," he said sending Makoto a quick glare before looking back down at the floor as if it was its fault he was in this mess.

Rin swore he heard Makoto chuckle as he went on with reading the note. If Rin had dared to look up, he would be able to see how Makoto's face was heating up to match the red of Rin's eyes. "You made the chocolate for me?"

Rin nodded.

"And the note?"

Another nod.

Silence grew between them, and for a soul-crushing second, Rin was sure he had fucked up everything until he felt something put in his hand. "It's fiery cinnamon candy. I searched all over for it," Makoto said as he saw Rin's eyes glance up.

"You're my valentine too Rin," he explained with a flustered but happy smile.

"Oh thank God," Rin breathed under his breath in relief.

Makoto laughed, releasing the bit of nerves he had before leaning in to Rin. "Can I kiss you?" he asked now too close for Rin to even think to say no. Rin answered him by meeting his lips and closing the very small amount of space that had been between them.

Rin could feel Makoto's hand moving to go through his hair and brushing his cheek, silently urging him closer. Rin's own hands had more control, wanting to stay in his lap, knowing that if he gave in to the tingles, the goosebumps shimmering across his skin when he feels Makoto's fingers wrapping in his hair, that he may lose the little control he had.

Makoto tasted like oranges and chocolate. For a minute, Rin wondered if there were any other people who gave Makoto chocolate, but he let the worries fade away as he focused on the kiss. Rin imagined he tasted like the mint from his toothpaste and the watermelon flavour from his sports drink. He wondered if Makoto liked the taste of mint as much as Rin was enjoying the taste of chocolate.

Rin's hands lost control, and he reached to pull Makoto a little closer by his shirt, now able to smell Makoto's soap and shampoo. There was also the ever present scent of chocolate and cinnamon from the Valentine candy, now mingling in with everything, and Rin found it all so placating.

The kiss was too sweet, too long, and just right. By the time they break apart, Rin's heart was the calmest it had ever been when with Makoto. He slid open his eyes slowly to look at Makoto again, a little dazed from everything that just happened. If it was all a dream, he hoped he would not wake up for a little longer.

Makoto's forehead fell against Rin's, and Rin could see the warm smile, the sunbeam of a smile he had been craving so desperately for months shining right on him. He also realised it had been focused on him all along.

This time although, he smiled back.