A/N: The idea for this story popped into my head when I thought of the question, "What it Quinn made it to Rachel and Finn's Wedding?" Faberry style, of course. I hope you guys like and enjoy this story, and I would be happy if you guys left reviews!
Oh, and the song I used for this is Wedding Dress, sung by Kevin Lien. It's basically his English version cover of the original sung in Korean by Taeyang.
DISCLAIMER: I do not own Glee, or the song used for the purposes of this story.
Quinn took in deep, shaky breaths as she sat on the bench, Santana and Brittany on either side of her. She was in her bridesmaid dress, and all she wanted to do at that moment was to pull it off and tear it to shreds. Feelings of anguish and despair took over her very soul, making her want to run away and never look back.
But as much as she wanted to do so, she can't. She had been selfish all her life, and she didn't want to be selfish right now, even though she wanted to be.
Santana looked at her sympathetically, and Brittany was rubbing her back in comfort. But Quinn didn't feel comforted at all. The pain just seemed to grow with every passing second, her heart shattering into a tiny million pieces.
She couldn't be selfish; not any longer. But could you really call her selfish, when all she ever did was protect Rachel's dreams? She had taken every step necessary for Rachel to realize that she was so much more; that she didn't need to marry Finn just so she could find her worth again.
But Quinn knew. She knew that by marrying Finn, Rachel would never be happy. Finn could, and would never understand just how much Rachel's dreams meant to her. He never did anything to protect and fully support her goals, and it made Quinn tremble in anger.
Rachel deserved so much more. She deserved to be loved by someone who actually understood her; someone who would do everything so that she can reach her highest dreams. She deserved someone who would make her feel that she was meant for so much better things than by marrying a boy who didn't even know what he wanted in life.
And Quinn knew. Quinn knew that Finn Hudson could never be that man, no matter how hard he tried. Even Santana and Brittany knew that, too. They knew that Rachel could do so much better than this.
"You have to talk to her, Quinn," Brittany said softly, and Santana nodded in agreement.
"It doesn't matter. It won't change a thing," Quinn said through gritted teeth.
Brittany and Santana knew of Quinn's feelings for Rachel for a long time now. They knew, just by the longing glances Quinn threw Rachel's way whenever the brunette wasn't looking at her. They knew, by the way Quinn tried so hard to become Rachel's friend and fix her mistakes.
But maybe, they were just meant to be friends; and that was what broke Quinn's heart the most. She could pretend to be happy for Rachel on the outside, when deep inside, she was dying. Dying to tell the brunette just how much she loved her.
But it was too late. In a few minutes, Rachel would be getting married. She would get married to someone that wasn't Quinn.
And it made Quinn want to rip her heart out of her chest, in hopes that it would crush her feelings along with it in the process.
"What if it can?" Brittany whispered, making feelings of hope, no matter how small, appear in Quinn's heart. But she shook her head. Again, she repeated, she couldn't be selfish.
"I can't be selfish. Not this time," Quinn said in a conflicted voice.
"There's always a time when you can be selfish, Q, and I think that this is one of those times," Santana spoke up for the first time since they sat there.
"And can you really call it selfish, when you know that this isn't going to make Rachel happy at all?" Brittany added in a soft voice.
At this, Quinn dropped her head to her hands. She didn't know what to do. Turmoil rose inside her, and her head swam with thoughts of Rachel; of the brunette she loved so much all this time. Could she really bear to see Rachel unhappy for the rest of her life by being stuck in Lima with a boy who wasn't even driven, while she was on her way to something else?
She couldn't. And yet, she couldn't bring it in herself to convince Rachel to stop the wedding. She had tried numerous times before, but Rachel was just too stubborn. But Quinn also knew that Rachel was only doing this because she felt that Finn was the only thing she had in her life right now.
"Just go. If you're not going to do anything to stop the wedding, at least talk to Berry to get some closure," Santana said, nudging Quinn softly.
Closure. Quinn closed her eyes upon hearing the word. Could she really get that? She felt like she couldn't; like her heart would always belong to Rachel, even until after the day she died. But she needed to talk to Rachel, because after this day, she would not make any contact with the brunette any longer.
It was selfish, she knew that. But she knew that she couldn't bear seeing Rachel with someone else other than her. At least, for now, she wouldn't be selfish. Just this once, she would try to be happy.
So Quinn just nodded, and she felt Brittany and Santana envelope her in a warm embrace. In that moment, she never felt truly more grateful for the two girls with her. They always had each other's backs, never leaving one another.
Quinn stood up after Brittany and Santana let go of her, and made her way towards the room where Rachel was waiting.
She knocked on the large, bronze door, and waited for the brunette to open it. She shifted slightly, and looked down at her pink dress. The sight of it made her want to tear it off again, so she quickly raised her head at a desperate attempt for self-control.
The large doors swung open, revealing Rachel in her wedding gown. The only thing that ran through Quinn's mind at that moment was how stunningly beautiful the brunette looked in the white, lacy dress. Her hazel eyes roamed the brunette's body, taking in the long, silky chestnut locks that was curled perfectly, towards the chocolate brown orbs that once made her heart flutter, but now made it clench in pain, and towards the dainty feet that stood on the ground.
Everything about Rachel Berry just screamed perfection in that moment. The pure white dress made her glow radiantly, and the only thing that she lacked was a pair of snow-white wings. She truly looked like an angel in Quinn's eyes.
If only it was their wedding day, it would make Quinn joyful beyond words. But the realization of the situation sank in, and Quinn's heart shattered all over again.
"You look beautiful," Quinn whispered, her voice laced with pure adoration. Perfect.
Rachel blushed and looked down shyly, "Thank you, Quinn."
Quinn smiled despite the pain, wishing she were the one who could make Rachel blush like this everyday. They stood in silence, and Quinn took a deep and ragged breath. Her question came next; a silent whisper.
"Finn really does make you happy, doesn't he?"
Rachel's head snapped up towards the blonde as she heard the question. She took in the expression of the blonde standing in front of her. Hazel eyes were marred with pain; an expression that Rachel recognized all too well.
It was the same expression that Quinn wore when they stood in the halls of McKinley; the one where Quinn asked her if she was singing 'to Finn, and only, Finn,' but this time, it was more intense. Back then, she just gave a small nod and hugged the blonde.
And right now, she wanted to tell Quinn that Finn didn't really make her happy like she thought he would.
She couldn't understand why, but standing in front of Quinn right now made her doubt her feelings for Finn. She had always adored the blonde in front of her, and she found the feelings of adoration as more than platonic on several occasions. She always felt that there was something deeper between them; like a red string always drew them back together whenever they were pulled apart.
There was always a deep sense of understanding between them, even when they were still enemies, serving to only grow deeper once they became friends.
But she was marrying Finn, and she couldn't let this small doubt she was feeling right now to get in the way of her marriage. And so, she gave a small nod, much like her response before.
"Yes, he does," she answered in a quiet whisper, even though she herself doubted the answer.
"I'm glad that he does," Quinn answered after a moment of silence.
Rachel could tell that Quinn was trying to hold it together, for reasons she could not understand why. She couldn't understand why Quinn looked and sounded so pained, but it made her heart wrench. Did she really love Quinn that way?
No, she couldn't. She loved Finn, right? She tried convincing herself that she did, even though the doubt seemed to only grow bigger with each passing second.
Quinn, as though sensing Rachel's inner turmoil, stepped back.
"I should be going. I'll see you later, Rach," Quinn said quietly, and Rachel gave a tiny nod, not daring to look at Quinn walk away.
For some reason, Rachel felt like Quinn was walking away from her life in that very moment, and her heart began to shatter. She could feel that there was so much more that Quinn wanted to tell her, and that she was about to find out what it was soon.
A tear ran down her cheek as she desperately tried to find out what Quinn was trying to tell her. Having the blonde walk out the door pained her in more ways than she could imagine, yet she still didn't know why.
"Rachel, are you ready? The wedding is going to start in five minutes," came Tina's voice through the door.
Rachel quickly wiped away her tears, careful not to smudge the make-up. She then took a deep and shaky breath, and answered, "Yes, I'm ready."
And yet, she really wasn't.
Everyone gathered inside the large room, where the wedding was to be held. Quinn stood silently at the far end of the line, watching as Finn stood with a big smile on his face. The sight made Quinn want to vomit. How Rachel could marry this boy was beyond Quinn's comprehension. He would never be able to truly make Rachel happy. He would never be able to understand just how important Rachel's dream to her is.
The Wedding March suddenly started playing, and Quinn's heart dropped to her stomach. This was it. In just a matter of seconds, Rachel would start walking towards Finn, and Quinn would not be able to do anything except stand and watch the girl she loves marry another person.
She could still protest and say that she was against the wedding when the justice of peace asks, but if this was what Rachel truly wanted, who was she to stand in her way? And so, she would watch, while her heart would break into more pieces.
Finally, the doors opened, and Rachel walked through them. Quinn's breath caught in her throat as she beheld the beautiful sight that was Rachel Berry. It was already her second time in seeing Rachel in that wedding dress, yet it still didn't fail to take her breath away.
But as the Wedding March played in the background, an entirely different song was playing inside Quinn's head.
Baby, all the times we've had,
I kept all my feelings wrapped
I'll always ask myself,
"How did I lose her heart?"
Your love was in my reach,
But now, far, far, far gone
I never thought that I would
Fall, fall, fall this hard
All this time, Quinn kept her feelings for Rachel locked inside her heart. Even though she never really had the brunette's heart, she felt like she was losing it in this very moment. She never thought that love could be this painful; never thought that she could fall so hard for the brunette that she was willing to do everything for her, even give her up to someone else.
I was afraid to tell you all the feelings in my heart,
Thinking that if I told you, you and I would fall apart
I hesitated, and now our love is breaking,
'Cause you moved on, and I'm still waiting
Quinn had been too afraid to tell Rachel exactly what she felt, terrified that the friendship that they finally built would crumble into pieces with her confession. She was too afraid to let out her feelings, and now, she was left in the dust.
Baby, he won't ever love you like I do
'Cause you should be my lady
Waited for so long to say to you,
"Come back to me"
Finn would never be able to love Rachel the way that Quinn did, because he was never willing to put everything out in the line for the brunette to achieve her dreams. He was a coward, and for that, he would never be able to truly deserve Rachel.
It was so perfect in my dreams,
Don't you know that, I will always love you forever?
But baby, when the church bells ring,
I wanted us to be there together
Now you're in your wedding dress
Now you're in your wedding dress
How could he be the one?
Inside Quinn's mind, it had always felt perfect. Perfect in the sense that she and Rachel would be together, but now, the brunette was in her wedding dress. How could Finn be the one?
I wanted you to know my heart bled, bled for you
But would he ever do the same, same, same for you?
We played this game called love, but how is it that I came out gone?
Wishing that this could have been real this time, our love
Quinn wanted to tell Rachel how much her heart bled for her; that Finn would never have the courage to do so. She knew that Finn would never be able to give his all when it came down to Rachel, but Quinn was willing. But, she lost, and she had to accept it.
Well, I guess the time has come, the veil has to come off
He takes your hand, but baby, please don't say "I do"
It's tearing me apart,
It's choking me,
It's piercing my heart and my soul...
This is it. Rachel finally stood in front of Finn, and Quinn had to fight hard to keep her tears at bay. Finn took off the veil that covered Rachel's face, and it was tearing Quinn apart to see it. She felt like choking, the sight of Rachel with Finn piercing through her very heart and soul.
She barely heard Finn say, "I do," wanting nothing more than to shut herself out of the world. Now, all Rachel had to do was say it in return, and Quinn would effectively break down. She raised her head to look at the brunette, her hazel eyes tearing apart with the agony she felt.
This was it. All Rachel had to do was listen to the Justice of Peace, and say those two words. She felt a pair of eyes boring onto her, and she knew who it was. Tears threatened to escape her eyes for what she was about to do. She finally understood what Quinn wanted to say back in that room.
I love you. Don't marry him.
And Rachel finally realized with whom her heart truly belonged to. With the next two words she was about to utter, one heart would break completely. And she had to say those two words, lest she fall into misery forever. Her heart had made its decision.
"Will you, Rachel Berry, take Finn Hudson as your rightful husband?" The Justice of Peace asked.
This was it. Rachel took a deep breath, her lips quivering. She could only pray that the other person would understand why she was going to say her next piece.
"I don't..."
Rachel closed her eyes, the tears now cascading down her cheeks. She felt sorry for the boy standing in front of her; but she couldn't lead him on any longer. If only she'd realized what she felt for Quinn sooner, then they all wouldn't have to be in this mess right now.
Finn Hudson wasn't the love of her life, her one true love; Lucy Quinn Fabray was.
Silence ensued, the tension in the air getting thicker with each passing second. Rachel bit her lip and looked down, not wanting to see the heartbroken expression on Finn's face. She had done it. She completely broke his heart. The deed was done.
"W-why, Rach?" Finn asked in a stunned voice. "Why not?"
"I'm sorry, Finn, but if I don't stop this now, I would just be breaking our own hearts in the future," Rachel cried, her hand clutching her chest. "I can't bring us into something that would just tear us apart in the end."
"There's someone else, isn't there?" Finn asked, his voice weak.
Rachel didn't answer. She just cried.
"I knew it. I guess I should have known, because you've been so hesitant in saying 'yes' to my proposal." Finn said in a broken voice, but he didn't seem angry.
"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry," Rachel sobbed, her face buried in her hands.
"Don't be, Rach. I'm sorry, too, for practically forcing you into this," Finn apologized, his voice trembling. "You're right, we'd just break each other if we do this."
"I'm sorry..." Rachel repeated in a broken voice as she ran away from the altar. She could still feel Quinn's steady gaze directed towards her very being, her very soul. The girl she had come to love after all this time.
Quinn stood stunned as Rachel ran away from Finn, leaving the boy at the altar. Rachel had just run away from Finn, from her supposed true love. To say that she was shocked was a complete and utter understatement. Why did Rachel say that she couldn't marry Finn?
Still appalled, she directed her gaze towards Finn, who had a heartbroken, yet understanding expression on his face. Everyone in the room was silent, also apparently too shocked by the recent turn of events. She saw Finn stare back at her, who mouthed the word, 'Go'.
So, Finn knew. Finn knew that she was the reason he wasn't getting married to Rachel. Quinn suddenly felt guilty, and she mouthed out how sorry she was, but Finn just shook his head sadly. Quinn nodded slowly, mouthed out her thanks, and ran after the brunette.
She burst through the doors, and saw the hem of Rachel's wedding dress gliding across the corner. She ran faster, turning through the corner the brunette had just disappeared to, and shouted.
"Rachel, wait!"
Rachel froze, and Quinn stood from a distance, in case the brunette didn't want her near. Their eyes met, and Quinn could see the brunette's tear-streaked face.
"Quinn," Rachel said in a shaky voice, her doe eyes bleeding with emotion.
"Rach," Quinn whispered, and dropped her head, not wanting to see the conflicted look in the brunette's eyes. "Why?"
"It's because of you," Rachel answered, a sob beginning to escape her lips. Quinn squeezed her eyes shut, as she listened for the accusing tone in the brunette's voice. But there was none; it was just the plain and simple truth.
"I'm sorry. I told myself that I wouldn't be selfish, and that's why I never told you," Quinn answered in a broken voice, her hands trembling at her sides.
"Is that why you were so against my marriage to Finn?" Rachel asked quietly.
"Partly, yes," Quinn admitted softly. "But all I really wanted was to protect you, Rachel. You were never meant to stay here. It would break you, and break me, in the process. I couldn't just sit around, attending classes in Yale, knowing that you, of all people, are stuck out here. I just can't Rachel, you have to understand that."
"Quinn," Rachel managed in a strangled voice.
"If you hate me, I would understand that, Rachel. I ruined everything, and I'll walk away if you want me to; if that's what you need me to do right now," Quinn whispered in a pained voice, the agony tearing her very being apart.
"I can never hate you, Quinn," Rachel whispered hoarsely, causing Quinn to look straight into the brunette's eyes. "I can never ask you to walk away from my life. It would break me to do so; to see you walk away from me forever."
Quinn took a deep and ragged breath as she listened to Rachel talk. She couldn't believe that or a moment, she even thought of walking away from Rachel once she got married to Finn. It would have broken her, too; to just walk away rom Rachel without so much an explanation.
She couldn't do that, she would never be able to live with that.
Quinn stood silently as Rachel took small and slow steps toward her, as though afraid that Quinn might run away all of a sudden. But Quinn didn't have any intention of running away. All her life, she ran away from her problems; ran away from the truth. But Rachel was the one person she could never run away from, no matter how hard she tried.
Not like she ever wanted to, anyway.
Rachel finally stopped in front of her, with only a small distance keeping them apart. Hazel orbs met chocolate brown, staring intently at each other. Quinn felt tan hands cup her face, and her heart began to race. The brunette still looked beautiful, despite her tear-strained face and puffy eyelids.
Rachel always had a way of taking her breath away, no matter the circumstance.
"I'm not going to allow you to leave me, Quinn," Rachel whispered, before capturing Quinn's lips with her own.
Quinn instantly closed her eyes upon feeling Rachel's plump and rosy lips pressing against hers. She felt like she was in a dream, with soft and full lips molding against her own in perfect rhythm. Rachel's lips felt like heaven, and all Quinn wanted to do was to kiss her, over and over again.
She could feel the flood of emotions that Rachel wanted to convey as they kissed. She felt Rachel's need to be by her side, the love that the brunette felt for her; the silent plead for her not to go, to just stay with her.
She shakily raised her hands and tangled them in chestnut tresses as she kissed the brunette with so much love and passion as she let all her emotions run wild. She inhaled Rachel's strong lavender scent, and ran her tongue across the soft, plump lips encasing her own.
She moaned as she got her first taste of Rachel Berry; a sweet mix of vanilla and honey, and she found herself getting intoxicated immediately. She parted Rachel's lips with her tongue, and was granted entrance. Her warm, wet tongue explored the brunette's cavern, and eagerly flicked inside.
She heard Rachel moan lowly as their tongues met in a passionate dance, spurring her on further. Their tongues swirled and sucked languidly, and they drowned in the moans and whimpers that they drew out from each other.
They pulled apart from each other, and began catching up to their breaths. Rachel threw her arms around Quinn's neck, bringing her in so that their foreheads rested against each other.
Quinn sighed contentedly as she wrapped her arms around Rachel's waist, relishing in the fact that the brunette's small frame fit perfectly against her own.
"How long?" Rachel asked softly, and Quinn knew what she meant.
"The moment I first laid eyes on you," Quinn confessed quietly.
"That long?" Rachel breathed out in surprise. Quinn nodded her head slowly. "And you... you just stayed silent all this time? You were torturing yourself for three whole years?"
"I just wanted you to be happy, even if it meant you being with someone else." Quinn mumbled, and took a deep breath.
"I was never truly happy, though," Rachel said with a sad smile. "I just can't believe that it took me so long to realize how I felt for you. And on this day, nonetheless," she added with a shaky laugh.
"Don't blame yourself, Rach," Quinn murmured as she laced her fingers in Rachel's. "If anything, I'm the one to blame."
"No," Rachel said in disagreement. "There's no one to blame. I've always thought that there was something deeper in the way that I felt for you, something deeper than platonic. Because no matter what had happened, there's always this invisible string that pulls me back to you, something that always draws me to you..."
Quinn nodded as she listened to the brunette, feeling every ounce of truthfulness and emotion in every single word that was said. Rachel gently untangled her fingers from Quinn's, and brought up her hands to caress the blonde's face.
She sighed softly as she felt the smooth, tan hands touch her face, and closed her eyes for a moment. She felt Rachel's fingers brush against her nose, her cheeks, her lips, and her jawline.
"Quinn..."
At the mention of her name, Quinn opened her eyes, greeted by expressive chocolate brown eyes. Her breath hitched when she saw the pure love reflected in those eyes, and pulled the brunette closer to her.
"I love you, Rachel Barbra Berry," Quinn murmured reverently.
Rachel flashed a watery smile as she responded, "I love you, too, Lucy Quinn Fabray."
Quinn smiled softly before pulling Rachel in for another kiss. It looks like she would be getting her happy ending with the girl she loved, after all.