Sidenote from Pheno: Finally, a chapter after two whole years. This was written long ago. I'm sad to say I've lost contact with Yoippari-san, whom I give my best wishes to and miss a great deal. Thanks for the endless mails even after all this time. Thank you for remembering us. For everything. And leave a review for Yoippari in case she drops by, okay? She's a great writer through and through, and I'm just a tag-a-long cracking dumb jokes. Yeah.

[DISCLAIMERS] You know we don't own them, dammit!

[AUTHORS] Yoippari & Phenocrystian

[WARNINGS]
Pheno : hyperactive bounce Whee! I'm back! hops onto desk and jives to Shindemo-ii
Yoippari : Ash... you're a nut, you know that?
Pheno : bwink Is that a good thing?
Yoippari : nods emphatically It's a good thing. It's a very good thing. aside And I
thought Ken was stupid...
Pheno : XD Whoo, nut! pokes nut
Ken : whimpers Can anyone please get her hands off me?

CHAPTER EIGHT

Hell. He'd recognize that shade of orange-red hair and yellow bandanna ten miles away.

Teal blue eyes flared.

"You!" Ken yelled.

Schuldich turned and cocked his head, green eyes bright and quizzical, quirking a languid smirk. Yes, mein katzchen?

Ken was stumped. He didn't have anything brilliant to add to his heroic outburst of 'you'.

Okay. So Schuldich was in the shop. Not surprising, since Schuldich was telepathic, he'd probably figured out their location three hundred decades ago. But what the hell was he doing here? And now?

Ken fiddled with his pot of Gentians and tugged at limp brown chunks of chocolate dark hair, fidgeting. He always did that when he was nervous, or tense, or in some situation he couldn't possibly handle. This one was a perfect conglomeration of such.

Where the hell is Yoji when I most need him here?

Schuldich smiled pleasantly and hopped atop the table, perching at the edge. "I'd like a pot of the exquisite specimen you're holding, please," he purred, swinging his mile long legs as he tossed long red hair over his shoulder.

Ken's gaze narrowed. Confused. Suspicious.

"Well I'm sorry but this one is not for sale, sir," Ken said politely through clenched teeth, struggling to paste on an equally fake "customer service is number one" smile but failing. His tone was chilled as ice, blue orbs cold and hard, nails digging into the small clay pot as though determined to crack it in two.

Schuldich took in all of this with immense pleasure. Jade green eyes sparkled as he leaned over so that their noses touched.

It took more time to blink.

"Be a dear and get me a new one then, will you?"

Ken merely glared.

"Iie."

Schuldich smirked, sliding a hand in Ken's thick dark hair. Ken cringed at the intimate touch but stood his ground, glaring defiantly, unwilling to back down. Schuldich had a beautiful bow-shaped mouth. He remembered kissing him. Sliding his tongue between pliant lips and invading that warm, wet cavern...

A small twitch on curved lips made Ken pray that the German hadn't picked up that last bit.

"Want more?" Schuldich asked off-handedly.

"Iie." Damn German was probably planting all those erotic thoughts in his head anyway.

"You're no fun," the redhead somehow... Ken nearly rubbed his eyes to make sure he wasn't hallucinating... pouted. His lower lip jutted out and a flash of hurt flickered across angular features. But it was gone as though it had never been there, instantly replaced by the familiar infuriating smirk accompanied by overflowing self-esteem.

"But Ken-ken, I'm bored," Schuldich whined.

Ken's lips tightened in a thin line. "Then go home and fuck your boss," he spat venomously.

"Asshole," he added after a moment of thought.

Schuldich's eyes widened dramatically.

It was unnerving to see so many emotions flitting across the German's face in one go. It made him seem almost human instead of the cold killing machine he was.

"Tch, Ken, I would have thought you had better taste than that! Brad's got a fucking katana up his ass, that bastard." Schuldich's head cocked to the side with a suggestive smile.

Aya's face flashed across Ken's mind. He didn't mean... no way... he didn't mean that the way it sounded... did he? Ken wondered desperately.

Schuldich grinned. "It was hot, the time I caught them going at it." He leered into Ken's slack-jawed face. "Almost as hot as what we did in that alley. Only we got a teensy kinkier."

Schuldich winked.

Ken's earlier defiance swirled down the drain, leaving him a gaping, dumbstruck idiot. "They? Aya? Aya and Crawford? What the... why... and how...?!"

The redhead exhaled, silk red strands whispering over his eyes. "Aw, do we really have to talk about them? I'd rather talk about us, you know." He paused, feigning a moment of serious consideration. "Or not," he said whimsically, making an obscene sign with his hands to demonstrate his point.

"I want to... I want to know."

"Well." Schuldich leaned back and tapped his chin with a slender finger, deliberately dragging out the moment, intensifying Ken's horrified curiosity.

Spit it out already, you ass, Ken's own words growled through his mind.

Schuldich grinned yet again. "Well... about three months ago, Fujimiya was abandoned at a bar by Kudou..."

Ken nodded. Typical Yoji behavior.

"... and the purdy redhead was... slightly bored. So he sidled up the bar and tossed back a shot or two."

Ken nodded. Typical Aya behavior.

"Then the stupid redhead got stoned. I mean, completely stoned. Total Dial-a-slut, throwing himself at everyone within spitting distance, singing Rape Me at the top of his lungs."

Rape Me? Aya? Ken winced. A pretty picture.

Not.

"... and Brad happened to be there, so he rescued the damsel in distress and they got off in the limo and together they rode the sunset with wedding bells and cheesy music and lived happily ever after," Schuldich proclaimed with a flourish, hands clenched to his chest.

Ken blinked.

"Fuck off," he spat.

I can't believe I almost fucking bought it!

"Iie," Schuldich said sweetly.

"I mean it. Get out of here."

Schuldich rolled his eyes. "Ooh, my toes are quivering in quaking fear of your intimidating presence, darling," he drawled, green eyes dancing merrily.

Ken glared. "If you don't leave right this fucking second----"

Warm lips closed on his.

Ken froze as the inquisitive tongue forced his lips apart. He had expected force coming from the German, but the kiss was soft. Gentle and exploring and no less sensual. It felt...

It felt good.

His mouth parted. His eyes slid shut.

He bit Schuldich's lower lip.

Hard.

Their gazes locked. A challenging green. An irritated blue.

Come on, Ken-ken. You know you want me.

I don't. I mean, I do. I want it but I don't want you. Laughing green eyes and warm hands dominated his thoughts. But they weren't Schuldich's.

He heard Schuldich's exasperated sigh in his mind and the German pulled back. Are we swimming around in circles here now? You're saying that you don't want this but you're kissing me. I didn't force you into fucking me back there, either.

Images of that night flooded through Ken's brain.

But Ken met Schuldich's calm leaf-green stare. He had imagined seeing Schuldich again and completely freaking out and making a scene. But from the chat to the kiss to all the serious talk, it left him strangely unmoved.

There were a few questions he'd like to answered though...

Schuldich smirked at him. "I chose you because you're cute. I like my boys with a lovely backside and barbed tongue."

Ken blinked. "Uh... thanks, "he said, not knowing if he should feel resentful or flattered.

Consider it flattery, Ken-ken.

"O-Okay," Ken mumbled, trying not to blush. There he was, alone and unarmed in the shop with his enemy sitting cross-legged atop the arrangement table making small talk as though they were old acquaintances. An old acquaintance that had tried to eliminate him for more times than he could count, no less.

It wasn't too weird.

Schuldich laughed and jumped off the table. Make sure you write this down in your Hello Kitty journal, Ken-ken. Never again. Next time I see you, I'm your fucking enemy. Chuck the sentimental feelings out the window. We both found a good lay, that's all.

Ken nodded. His heart felt strangely light. He did not hear the German muttering under his breath as he sauntered out the door.

"Kudou? Kudou and Hidaka? Shit, this is going to be very interesting..."

Yoji was feeling pretty shitty for ditching Ken down there. True he had taken over Ken's shift the day before and Ken fucking deserved to close the shop today alone and allow Yoji his beauty sleep. But then again...

Ken had a reputation of clumsiness to uphold. Cracking twenty pots a day, squashing a bouquet or two under his sneaker, drowning the plants when he was distracted...

Shit.

Yoji made a face and slipped into his jeans. Damn Ken for butting into his private time. Like it wasn't bad enough Ken had been making even more frequent visits to Kudou Fantasyland at night. Moaning, gyrating, arching off the black leather seat.

Damn.

Yoji went down the stairs and slouched into the shop. He opened his mouth to call to Ken, lay a severe guilt trip on the clumsy idiot, but he froze in his tracks at the sight of two figures making out heatedly in the shadows.

It was Ken. His Ken. His Ken wrapped in the arms of a long-haired redhead sitting on the arrangement table. His Ken trapped between the German's long lean legs.

Yoji's hands curled into fists.

His first thought... danger.

Second thought... what the fuck?

Third thought... kill Schuldich.

But then he noticed.

Ken wasn't fighting.

Ken wasn't in danger.

Ken was comfortable.

Ken was enjoying himself.

Godammit.

This was weird.

This was wrong. On so many levels. Levels Yoji didn't even want to explore because he knew he would find himself on some of them.

Yoji watched for a few more seconds, then slowly turned and bounded up the stairs.

Angry.

Because all this time he thought Ken was some innocent little angel just waiting to be seduced by his irresistible Kudouness.

He was a fool.

Yoji slammed his bedroom door.

Threw himself down on the bed.

Got up again, cranked up the stereo, cringed at the goddamn happy, poppy, shit pouring out of the speakers and slammed a CD into the tray. Punched play. Glowered out the window.

Ken.

Schuldich.

Ken arching underneath Schuldich. Ken writhing beneath Schuldich's touch. Ken making those deliciously erotic noises at the back of his throat.

For Schuldich.

Yoji's hands fisted again. But then he relaxed. The flash of orangy red hair on the sidewalk. The squeal of tires as the white sports car cut off a truck and pulled into traffic.

Schuldich was leaving. Yoji sent him a one-finger goodbye salute.

Well good.

At least they weren't humping on the flower shop floor.

Yoji laughed.

He couldn't help it. The image of anal-retentive Aya walking in on Ken and... Schuldich of all people... it was priceless. Yoji lit a cigarette.

Who was he kidding? Ken and Schuldich? No way. No fucking way.

He frowned as he climbed onto the bed, propped his hands behind his head. And what the hell was with the whole... thing that just happened to him? Where in the hell had that come from? He took another pull off the cigarette. A nagging little thought weaseled its way into his consciousness. He stomped on it like a three-ton elephant.

It hadn't been jealousy.

No way.

Yoji didn't get jealous.

Kudou Yoji did not get jealous.

It was probably... hmmm... rage. At seeing a member of Schwarz daring to step foot in the Weiss stronghold. A member of Schwarz messing with one of Weiss right under their noses. A member of Schwarz trying to infiltrate their organization so boldly.

That's all.

Made perfect sense.

Perfect sense.

Except for the kissing/groping part.

Yoji turned the music up louder and lit another cigarette.

He was not jealous.

The music was so incredibly loud. Ken couldn't take it anymore. He knocked on Yoji's door.

No answer.

Ken rapped louder.

No answer.

Ken ground his molars and pounded on the door furiously.

The door slowly creaked open. Yoji lounged in the doorway, shirtless, cigarette casually perched on grinning lips. He raised an eyebrow, expectant.

"Do you mind?" Ken asked irritably.

Yoji's brow creased, and he held up a finger. "Hang on a sec. Can't hear you over the music." He sauntered across the room and turned the stereo down a few notches, so that it was only slightly deafening.

Yoji sprawled out on his bed and looked up. Ken was still standing in the doorway, completely dumbfounded. Yoji distractedly motioned him to come in as he crushed out the last of his cigarette in an ashtray.

Ken slowly entered the room. He paused just inside the doorway. "Yoji..."

"Hmmm? Shut the door, will ya, Ken?"

Ken pushed the door shut and grimaced as he carefully picked his way through the clothes strewn across the floor and made his way over to Yoji.

"Yoji..." Ken paused and cocked his head. Now that he thought about it, this music sounded unsettlingly familiar. It was angry, industrial... screaming music, definitely not his kind of thing. But still... he was sure he'd heard it before. Maybe at the goth club...

Ugh. Ken stifled a shiver. He did not want to think about that night.

"Sit down," Yoji said as he stood up to move a stack of clean shirts to a nearby chair.

Ken sat.

Yoji plopped down on the bed next to him. "It's Das Ich."

"What?" Ken asked, startled. Yoji was close. Very close. His closeness was... distracting.

"Das Ich. You look like you were trying to place the band," Yoji motioned in the general direction of the stereo.

Ken scowled. Dammit. How did Yoji do that? "That was not what I was thinking," he snapped.

"Oh," Yoji shrugged. "Well then..."

Ken sulked for a moment.

But it was difficult to concentrate on sulking with Yoji so very near by. He was incredibly aware of the dip the weight of their bodies caused in the mattress, the way it caused his body to lean ever so slightly towards his teammate's. He could feel the heat of Yoji's body, smell Yoji's soap – or maybe it was his shampoo – didn't matter. The point was it smelled good.

Oh Jesus Christ. Get a grip, Hidaka.

Ken glanced over at Yoji, saw the mischievous gleam in the blonde's eyes. "Am I really that transparent?" he asked tiredly, irritated.

Yoji stifled a laugh. "Nope. Uh uh. Not at all." His lips twitched when Ken's blue eyes cut sharply into his own. Anger. Ken was angry.

How cute.

"You're a sheet of steel Ken. Can't tell what you're thinking at all," Yoji assured him mockingly.

Ken's eyes narrowed. "Oh really?" he sneered. "Well if I'm so goddamn transparent, why don't you tell me what I'm thinking right now?"

Yoji leaned close and peered into Ken's eyes, scrutinizing. Ken involuntarily jerked back as Yoji invaded his personal space. But then he caught the satisfied smirk on Yoji's face, and he leaned close again, so close their noses almost touched. Yoji nodded slowly, then leaned back on his elbows. "You're thinking that you'd really like me to kiss you again," Yoji said impudently.

"No! As a matter of fact..." Ken was prepared to argue no matter what words came out of Yoji's mouth, but Yoji's casual comment stopped him cold. He began to sweat. Literally.

He blinked.

He blinked again.

"What?!" he practically shouted.

Yoji grinned. "You want me to kiss you again," he said nonchalantly.

Ken's mouth was open. His lips moved, but no words came out. Finally, he sputtered, "Excuse me?! I don't think so. What the hell are you talking about? I don't want you to..." Ken's eyes glazed over for a split second.

A puzzled look crossed his face, and then his eyes narrowed dangerously.

"AGAIN?! What do you mean again? You've kissed me before? When? Come on, Yoji. I think I'd remember if you..." Ken's eyes widened.

"Oh. My. God. It was you," his voice was barely a whisper. "You!" he jabbed a finger roughly into Yoji's breastbone. Yoji glanced down at Ken's offending digit, frowned momentarily, then looked up again, aiming a pleasant smile at the quivering brunette.

"You... you were the one I kissed... at the... after the... in the..." Ken stammered as long lost memories raced through his brain and scattered pieces of events fell into place. A deep blush crept over his cheeks. "You... I..." Ken stared mutely at his fingers splayed flat across Yoji's lean chest.

Yoji sat up, wrapping his fingers around Ken's as he did so. A lazy grin played about his lips. If Ken was this flustered at the memory... he doubted Schuldich could have gotten very far with the tasty brunette.

Yoji pulled Ken close in one quick jerk. "Yep," he agreed good-naturedly just before his wicked mouth closed over Ken's in a hot, demanding kiss. He cleaved Ken's lips open and attacked the moist pocket of flesh, coaxing out response, knowing full well that Ken would eventually cave in.

Ken wanted it. Needed it. He just didn't know it. It was entirely up to Yoji to persuade him down the right track... if he played his cards right...

For a long moment Ken struggled futilely against Yoji's iron grip. Yoji was taller, smoother, and ten times faster than Ken could ever hope to be. So it didn't quite come as a surprise when Yoji seized him and flipped him onto his back in one fluid motion.

Ken yelped as his head hit the bed unceremoniously. Air rushed out of his lungs in a low whoosh. He recovered his breath and blinked, looking up hazy and dazed into the looming, grinning and very intimidating face of his teammate.

Ken's heart hammered against his ribs and he swallowed, moistening his suddenly dry throat. He hated to admit it... but this was a view not at all unpleasant to see. He took his time admiring the shifting muscles and angular contours of Yoji's lean torso, momentarily forgetting his earlier defiance as the blonde climbed atop him, straddling him.

The shock of Yoji's groin grinding against his own snapped him back to reality. It was desperate and rough and oh so incredibly erotic. Ken had to bite his lip to keep himself from crying out loud.

Damn. That would have been embarrassing.

But Gods... if Yoji was going to do that again, Ken might very well come in his pants.

That would probably be really embarrassing, too.

He stared up at Yoji, teal eyes glazed over.

Yoji's eyes were smoldering. Predatory. Lustful.

Oh god.

Ken groaned as warm lips closed over the soft curve where neck met shoulder, nipping the tender flesh as though determined in leaving a mark. Which he most probably was. Sharp teeth raked over Ken's skin and a tongue drew small circles over the slowly forming bruise.

It hurt. It hurt and stung like hell but was soothing wetness of Yoji's mouth made it worthwhile...

Another hot kiss and Ken was lost. He kissed back with enthusiasm, momentarily claiming dominance over Yoji. Yoji swallowed a smirk and licked at the comers of Ken's mouth before nipping the brunette's lower lip. He rubbed his palm over the Ken's groin. Encouraged by the soft sounds emanating from the slender column of Ken's tanned throat, he ripped open the baggy jeans and pushed the boxers off Ken's lean hips, enjoying the exposure of long legs and swelling shaft. Ken was already hot and hard.

Yoji scraped freshly trimmed nails along the bronzed inner thighs and Ken moaned. A low, pained sound.

Yoji grinned. Oh yeah. Still sensitive as always.

Ken pushed his hips against Yoji. His eyes were shut. His breath escaping his kiss-bruised lips in sharp ragged pants. Ummm... that was wonderful... absolutely fantastic... Yoji was such a...

Yoji.

YOJI.

"Fuck!" Ken exclaimed in a panic-laden voice. He shoved Yoji. Hard.

Ken's sudden retreat caught Yoji completely off guard. Yoji fell back onto the mattress and free from the pinning weight, Ken easily wriggled out from under him. He scrambled off the bed, fell heavily onto the floor, and scooted away from Yoji as fast as he could.

Yoji sat back on his elbows, a bemused smile playing about his entirely too smug lips.

"What... you... I... we..." Ken sputtered as he rapidly rearranged his clothing and dragged himself to his feet.

"Hmmm? What's that, Ken?" Yoji asked lazily, apparently completely unconcerned by the sudden turn of events. He tapped a cigarette out of a nearby pack and placed it between his lips.

"Uh... I..." Ken abruptly backed into the door. He jumped, startled by the sudden obstacle blocking his escape. He reached behind his back and twisted the knob. "I gotta go. 'Night, Yoji," he muttered hastily as he slipped out the door, slamming it shut as he bounded away.

Yoji reached for his lighter, sparked a bright flame. But he never managed to actually light the cigarette.

He was too busy laughing.

:: OUTTAKES ::
Yoji : Ken. Your ass looks huge, man.
Ken : peers over shoulder It does?
Yoippari : nods emphatically You should workout more.
Yoji : Naked. peers into Ken's pants O.O Boy. You could be on top you know.
Ken : Really? peers into Yoji's pants
Schuldich : joins Ken
Aya : joins Schu and Ken
Pheno : joins Aya and Schu and Ken
Yoji : beams and preens like a peacock
Omi : Are we talking about sex here?
Yoippari : No, we're talking about exes. rolls eyes Head off to sleep, honey. You're a 12 year old girl.
Omi : I'm not a kid! pouts childishly I have a crossbow... pauses ...and darts.
Ken : Yeah. Made by Fisher Price Toys.
Pheno : WAI! KEN SAMA! pounces
Ken : ACK! God have mercy on me!
God : Nyah. This is fun.
Yoippari & Pheno : chew popcorn and watch Strafe ignoring Ken's tortured screams
Yoippari : Man. God's loud.
Pheno : wonders Does god have a more godly equipment?
Yoippari : makes a mental note to ask Ken later
Farf : comes running out of nowhere Where is He? peers into Ash's pants
Everyone : O.O
Yoippari : Farf! What are you doing? Get out of there. fwaps Farf
Farf : screams They cut it off! They cut it off! There's blood all over!
Pheno : period depression I suck.
Yoippari : You do not suck.
Yoji : pops up out of nowhere Did someone say suck?
Pheno : brightens What about a game of making Aya freak out?
Yoji : tugs at Aya's eartails
Aya : Hn.
Yoji : sticks his hand down Aya's pants
Aya : O.O SHI'NE!
Yoji : Any time, baby. looks over at Ash I won.
Pheno : rips off Aya's orange turtleneck
Aya : Hn.
Yoippari : rips off Aya's pants
Aya : blinks
Yoippari & Pheno : expectant
Aya : I am god.
Yoippari : --;;;
Yoji : Nah. God's bigger. hollers Hey Ken, check this out!
Ken : What?
Yoji : points at Aya That.
Ken : What?
Yoji : That. hands him microscope
Ken : squints into x500 magnifying glass I can't see nothing... Oh there it is!
Yoji : Er, Ken? That's not it.
Aya : Hn.