Falling Slowly:

written by Emily_Destler

Disclaimer: I do not own Next to Normal, nor do I own the Goodmans. So, yeah.

This fanfiction is an AU. Some characters are slightly OOC... okay, not just slightly. Gabe is alive and stuff. But let's just say that isn't the only thing that's made different from the original. That's all I'm giving up on the story. Warnings: There are or will be references to prescription drugs, some possible drug abuse, suicide attempt, mental health issues, delusional states, depression, bipolar disorder, Natalie's language, and lots of feels. You have been warned.

Notes: Well. This chapter is sort of boring, but... things will get better by next one. Promise. None of the aforementioned warnings will take place in this chapter.

\

Chapter One: Just Another Day

Gabriel Goodman had just been driven back from football practice when he walked through the front door of his home, and, frankly, he was starving. He'd been running across a field for more than a few hours in the mild September heat and as he set his bookbag down on the stairs, all he could think was a thousand different things he would give up for a sandwich.

That is until he found his mother sitting alone by the kitchen table. She had a far-off look in her eyes that made Gabe worry and question what could have been wrong this time.

"Mom?"

She scared him when she got like this. His mom had been on antidepressants for as long as he could remember, battling and coping with mental illnesses which he, regrettably, happened to know a thing or two about. Needless to say, the gene was hereditary. He also takes various medications, has since he was a child. It was nothing too serious, his psychopharmacologist reassured him, but the episodes he'd apparently experienced in the past were enough to require the standard pills.

His mother looked at him as if she'd just noticed his presence, and he'd startled her. "Gabe! Oh... Hi, sweetie. Didn't see you there. Erm, h-how was football practice?"

He took a few steps forward and kept his voice soft. "It was good." His blue eyes carried sympathy in their wake as they darted across her face. "Are you okay?"

She glanced down at her hands, laid against the table a clenched into tight fists. Her pills were sprawled across the tablemat in a agitated and unorganized fashion. Wincing and unraveling them, she put on a smile and looked back up at her son. "I'm fine. There's nothing to worry about." She assured, before adding a wry smile. "Well, not at the moment, anyway."

She earned a grin from him as he reached out for an apple that rested on top of the basket, promptly taking a bite and speeding over to the pantry in search for something that tasted better.

His mom piped up from her chair, knew all too well what he was intending to do. "Don't spoil your dinner, kiddo."

Gave popped his head out from the door, "I won't."

He knew she didn't really cook anymore. In fact, he couldn't really remember a time when she had. But it wasn't her fault. Her and Dad had been arguing for a while now, and she often seemed too shaky to work a television remote, much less use a stove. Besides, Natalie and Dad were good enough cooks on their own, and when they didn't make dinner for the whole family, he could just as easily make himself something or drive to pick up food. She just wanted to be like a normal mom, and scold him once in a while with motherly things. She didn't just want to be the 'crazy one' all the time. Gabe knew the feeling well enough to understand.

Just then, he heard the frontdoor slam, and the familiar sound of shoes stepping through the house.

"Hello, sunshine!"

"Shut up, Gabe." Came the grumbled reply as Natalie walked past them.

"How was piano practice?" He asked with astonishingly sarcastic enthusiasm, popping his head a second time from behind the pantry door to look at her.

"Fucked." She replied cheerfully, before scowling and getting her school papers from the desk in the farthest corner of the room.

"Language, Natalie." Their mother reprimanded as his sister turned alway. Gabe watched in dissatisfaction as she ignored her. Again. It was as if Natalie hadn't even heard her, like she wasn't even there in the room with them.

Gabe sighed.

"Why does she hate me?" He heard his mother whisper harshly, obviously upset. He turned to her and grimaced at the lost look of confusion on her face.

Gabe was aware that Natalie had a grudge with their mom. He thinks it's because his mom pays more attention to him than to her. Which was kinda true. She'd always been there at all of his football games, cheering him on, being a mother, you know? But she was never there at Natalie's recitals. Sure, he'd only been to about two of them himself when Dad forced him, but it was still evident. He'd tried to talk to Mom about it but she insisted that Natalie wouldn't want her there anyway. That had been the end of that. So, yes, Gabe suspected Nat was jealous.

But that didn't mean she could just outright ignore her existence.

"Natalie,"

"What?" She snapped at the stern tone in his voice, already annoyed.

"Show your mother some respect."

She looked at him blankly for moment, then sneered. "You're a jerk." Gabe raised his eyebrows when she stormed off up the stairs, knowing she would only wind herself even tighter in her extensive homework.

His mother wore a tired expression.

"She's just being a teenager, Mom. Trust me, it's a phase. It'll pass."

"I'm not so sure."

"I am. Really, it's just mood swings taking. You know what it's like to be that age, huh?" Gabe asked as he finally settled on a bag of chips and snatches them from the top shelf. "I'm gonna go do some homework, I'll be in my room."

At that, his mom finally smiled, a real smile, not another fake one to make him feel better; the one he recalls seeing dozens of times over, but never onced really believed in. "You mean video games?"

He pointedly ignored the question with a goofy grin in her direction. He appreciate these moments whenever his mom could make a light-hearted joke, and even though said occurrences were becoming fewer and farther apart, he didn't dwell on it. Her happiness was his. "Call me if you need me."

"I will."

Review, please. ~Em