Overcoming your fears is harder than anything in your life.

Jaina stepped into the cabin. She was dressed in simple brown civilian clothes, not in Jedi robes.

"I've just informed the Council."

Ben looked up from his bag. "About what?"

"Everything – your mission, the attack, that I will be staying here with Allana, about the pact with Sith…"

"And?"

"They approve of everything."

Ben gave her a nod and put a mysteriously looking package into the side-pocket of a backpack. "So I am free to go?"

Jaina sat down on his bed. "Yes. If you want to."

"I still do," he replied and went to the closet next to the bed.

He opened the highest drawer and pulled out a pair of blasters.

Jaina watched him as he gently put them on the top of the pile of his clothes.

"You're packing a whole armory," she said. "Why?"

"If I'll run into Abeloth, I must be prepared," he answered blankly. "When you fight such a malicious smoo-" he paused and shook his head. "I mean creature, a pocket full of sonic grenades improve odds of survival."

"You expect that you'll meet her?"

"I'm a Jedi. We're trained to expect everything. And make-"

"Make prep for it," Jaina finished. "I know. I'm of the same school, you know? Maybe your school is a bit newer, but the old school still work."

Ben grinned. "I heard about the old school. Wasn't the basic combat rule: Just run in there and beat hip and thigh?"

"That's Mom and Dad's school. Rebellion school. My school, the Yuuzhan Vong school, says that if one is to die, he should take as much enemies as he can with him."

"I'll take it to heart."

Jaina stood up and hugged him. "Mostly take care of yourself, okay? And return with the damned dagger."

"Fine," he smiled. "And you take care of Allana. She's Solo. She'll be in trouble the very second you leave her alone."

"Yeah. I think she's probably already blew something up by now." She patted him on the back. "I'll go. May the Force be with you."

"And with you. All."

Jaina left.

Ben sat down on the floor and pulled his knees up to his chin.

He wouldn't admit it to anyone, but he was afraid. He couldn't help but being afraid.

Abeloth.

She had almost killed him and his father more times than he wanted to count.

And he was going to run straight into her arms.

He shuddered.

He almost felt it again; the tentacle wrapped around his wrist, tightening its grip… the crushing, agonizing press…

The oily and dark presence, stifling and nauseous…

He remembered the fear of the millions of people on Coruscant, and remembered maybe too well how disgusted he was when he realized that it makes her thrilled, that she is takes pleasure in it.

He had faced a lot in his life, and he always found the courage he needed for facing things straight, somewhere deep in him.

He took a deep breath and rubbed his face.

Come on. Brace up.

He ruffled his hair, buttoned up his jacket, spread his hands, fisted them, hitched up his boots.

He did it until he wasn't calm, then he stood up and buckled his bag.

He had one more matter to finish.