"Castaway" Ficlet 24: Hello

(Notes: I've said it before but I plan to write small versions of Books 2, 3 and 4 inserted in "The Castaway" universe so I was very nervous about writing this because it spoils things a bit for the Book 3 and 4 adaptation… And then I remembered that this ficlet happens shortly after Korra's three year absence in South Pole and I'm not going to write much about that time, I plan to focus more on the six months where she's missing and although this ficlet works into that I doesn't really talk about her adventures, so to speak. Consider yourselves spoiler warnedanyway.

This little narrative connects to ficlet 18 but happens considerably later and happens to be a song fic (I needed the inspiration to get back to writing, sorry for the inconsistency in genre and the long hiatus).

Song: "Hello" by Adele

Can also be read and reviewed on tumblr.

Summary: Noatak and Korra are still apart, but she has begun her haunted journey to return to who she used to be. She misses her lover though and can't resist trying to call him after months, years, avoiding his voice. Drama and angst.

1,544 words. Enjoy.)

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She's nervous.

It's been so long since she heard his voice and she's practiced what to say a million times but she's feeling her nerve melt away even as her fingers seem to dial the number in the sticky old roller phone of the inn like it's the first thing they ever learned.

What if he doesn't answer? He has no way of knowing it's her but he could simply not be home. But what if he does answer? What is she going to say?

'Hello, it's me.

I was wondering if after all these years you'd like to meet

To go over everything?'

Yeah, like that's going to happen. 'Just come here halfway across the world and meet the woman that abandoned you and your child for 3 years, it will be fun'.

Well, it's probably what she should say but after ignoring so many of his letters and pretending never to be there when he called she's pretty certain karma will serve her nothing more than his own silence. Then again she has no intention of going home just yet and Korra doubts he'd take any nonchalance in her words very well.

«They say that time's supposed to heal ya

But I ain't done much healing.»

The thought crosses her mind mid-ring of the phone. It's not exactly true- she can walk again, she's even starting to recover her bending skills like she did in the past, all of it a miracle after what the Red Lotus did to her, but it's not her body she's thinking about- it's her soul, her mind, all of it still broken. Why else would she still be haunted by hallucinations of her own self in that poisoned Avatar State rage?

There's a click on the other side of the line and her hopes suddenly soar in the way she promised herself she wouldn't allow.

"Hello, can you hear me?"

For a long time there's no answer but she can hear his breathing and knows it better than her own. He's there. He makes a slight noncommittal sound but refuses to talk. She's afraid he'll hang up so she just keeps talking in hopes that it will keep him on the line.

"I'm in the Earth Kingdom dreaming about who we used to be

When we were younger and free…"

That wasn't what she wanted to say, damn it! She curses her tied tongue but, then again, it's true- freedom had been fleeting for them, but they spent so much time hiding their relationship that when they were finally free to be together those times had felt like such a release, like a weird Nirvana where the other shoe never dropped… Korra shakes her head and keeps talking, no time to be nostalgic or ineloquent.

"I've forgotten how it felt before the world fell at our feet."

She mutters in a tone that she barely recognizes as her own, so full it is with sorrow and longing. He still doesn't answer but something in his breathing as changed, it's almost a sigh but not quite, something much more subtle and tired.

"There's such a difference between us

And a million miles…"

Korra reiterates what they already know but this time she refuses to sound sorrowful. No, she's had enough self-pity for one day, she's aching and bruised and lost in a city she doesn't know following a figment of her imagination and she knows how crazy it seems but, damn it, is the sound of his voice too much to ask for?

"Hello from the other side,

I must have called a thousand times

To tell you I'm sorry for everything that I've done

But when I call you never seem to be home."

Again, not quite true- at first she tended to hang up before he could answer, that or she would call specifically at times when she knew he wasn't home, trying to fool herself into believing that she had made an effort, but in the last few months the Avatar had actually been trying, she really had, she felt like maybe he could help make sense of the mess in her head, but he never seemed to answer either way. It's starting to make her angry, she knows she has no right but she needs to vent her frustration and he's always been the easiest target.

"Hello from the outside.

At least I can say that I've tried

To tell you I'm sorry for breaking your heart

But it doesn't matter. It clearly doesn't tear you apart anymore."

She practically yells into the receiver and still gets no answer. Korra can hear him preparing to hang up, it scares her straight so she desperately tries to calm her tone and hope that he's still listening.

"Hello, how are you?

It's so typical of me to talk about myself. I'm sorry.

I hope that you're well.

Did you ever make it out of that situation with the Council?"

He's still there, she can hear the hesitation, like he's almost tempted to answer her but doesn't. So she decides to cut the bullshit and go straight to the point and make herself clear once and for all.

"It's no secret that the both of us

Are running out of time.

So hello from the other side,

I must have called a thousand times

To tell you I'm sorry for everything that I've done

But when I call you never seem to be home.

Hello from the outside.

At least I can say that I've tried

To tell you I'm sorry for breaking your heart

But it doesn't matter. It clearly doesn't tear you apart anymore."

"You say you tried but I still don't hear that apology." Noatak finally speaks and his tone cuts like a knife but she loves it anyway because the pain of the cut is better than nothing at all. "You're only trying to make yourself feel better, you couldn't care less about me or everyone else that you left behind without a word. Last time I heard your hands weren't too paralyzed to write a letter or answer a call, were they?"

"I'm…" Korra hesitates. She wants to apologize for real, she wants to explain that she feels like she's going crazy laltely, she wants to explain that she needs to find herself again and follow the path the Spirits have put in front of her, but all that sounds like more excuses from a spoiled girl and she can't bear to put it all into words.

"You're… What? What are you, Korra? Far away? Healing?" Noatak says the last word with biting sarcasm before he continues his rant. Clearly her parents already told everyone she was missing. "I know, I have to tell that to our daughter every single day. You remember your daughter, right? Tiny little thing, dark skin, curly hair, lilac eyes, likes fuzzy things and dark colors, loved you so much even after you slapped her for no reason?"

He throws the years-old accusation her way like a spider-snake bite and Korra physically recoils with regret even though she still takes it all in, she still craves his voice enough to masochistically endure his malicious words.

"I don't care where you are," He lies, expertly- unbeknownst to her he's already preparing to find her. "but your friends are looking for you. Try your excuses on them next time."

Noatak hangs up before she can put another word in edgewise. Korra knows why, if he stayed on the line he would have said something he couldn't take back and then she'd snap and they would fight and the call would amount to nothing.

Still, it saddens her that he seems so angry. Noatak never shows his anger, he avoids showing any strong emotion, doesn't like giving away his poker face and keeps his heart locked tight, she knows this, she's used to this, she was once the only one that could melt his icy intimidating demeanor but for him to snap at her at this way… Maybe he really can't forgive her this time.

Maybe she used up all her excuses, maybe this really is the end for them, maybe the Avatar really isn't meant to put family and love first, like everyone else.

"Hello from the other side.

I must have called a thousand times

To tell you I'm sorry for everything that I've done

But when I call you never seem to be home.

Hello from the outside,

At least I can say that I've tried

To tell you I'm sorry for breaking your heart

But it doesn't matter. It clearly doesn't tear you apart anymore."

She hiccups the proud words she had practiced so many times, wondering if maybe they could have been better received if she had been more humble or sounded more contrite, she tries to keep her eyes dry in face of her failure but the phone receiver hanging limp on her hand with its annoying dial tone only reminds her of how much she has screwed up, how she has let her life fall to pieces after she optimistically swore years ago that nothing could break her or her love.

It reminds her of just how much she has to fix.

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(Author's Note: Sorry for the long hiatus, I know I promised it was over before but life, deaths, my health and technological issues got in the way (still do somewhat). I'm trying my best to get my writing my back on track, return to Castaway and even write some one-shots for other fandoms but I don't know what my pace will be. I'm sorry to all my loyal readers.)