A/N - One-shot for 123a456e

...

It wasn't working.

Nothing was working.

Emily ran her fingers roughly through her tossled hair, her elbows sitting on her shaking knees as she tried her best to get her breathing back on track.

Those tiny boxes in her mind didn't seem to be closing anymore, and everything she tried to stuff in there suddenly started leaking out, causing tears and panic attacks for the forty year old woman.

She had just gotten reinstated into her old position back at the BAU and everything had seemed fine in the beginning, going to the movies and out to dinner with the team just like the years before her death. The brunette wasn't oblivious; she knew that things were going to get hard once the surprise and hugs wore off from everyone, but it wasn't supposed to get to that level of insanity.

Reid had blown up at her after ignoring her for two weeks straight, blaming her for her death and leaving them the way she did.

Morgan was fine in the beginning, but after a week of acting as if everything was fine, he ignored her calls and turned the other way when she would come into the room.

Dave and Penelope were full of mixed emotions, both understanding why she had done what she had done but somehow still confused with the fact. Penelope had cried in her friend's arms during their first girls night once Emily was back, spilling all the things she had done to cope with the fact that her brunette crime fighter had left, and the ivory woman had felt guilt seeping through her at the words that Penelope had sobbed into her ear.

She had never meant to cause her family so much pain, but disappearing for the expanse of seven months was what she needed to do to keep the people she loved safe from harm.

Going away wasn't even her choice. She was forced into hiding with demand from the bureau and now she was getting blamed for it. She was the one dealing with the aftermath.

Emily cursed herself as she felt a tear fall from her eye as the thoughts and memories that had been haunting her day in and day out, her lips parting to let out a cry. It was as if the people who had been the ones that motivated her to work her hardest and kill the son of a bitch that had threatened everyone she loved were now eliminating her from the equation.

It was as if they didn't want her anymore.

Standing up from her spot on her two thousand dollar couch, Emily slipped on her shoes, tugged the white leather jacket that hung off her coat rack and snatched her keys out of the small bowl beside her door before rushing out of her apartment.

The now scarred brunette made her way through the warm night, walking the familiar streets and blocks to get to that haven she knew would be waiting for her at any moment she needed it. This was one place that would never turn her away, especially on some of her darkest days, which seemed to be coming on more frequently these days.

It took only thirty minutes to get to her desired destination, Emily's body slowing itself down once she saw that beautiful wooden door she had been looking for, the lantern beside it so inviting Emily floated towards it.

Knocking on the door, the brunette woman felt her heart beat speed up. What if she woke up the children? There wasn't just one anymore, there were two. And one was a newborn for God's sake!

Then there was the husband that easily could feel anger towards her because of what she had done to his wife's family that he had grown so close to. What if he answered the door instead and sent her away?

She couldn't do it.

Before she got the chance to turn back around and run all the way back home, the door before Emily opened and her jaw fell to the floor, her eyes filling with hot tears. "You answered the door."

JJ quickly brought her friend into a hug, her body shaking as the brunette cried into her shoulder. "Emily?"

"Is it ok if I stay here for the night?" she sniffled, hearing the door shut behind her. Her dark eyes looked into those aqua eyes that her best friend had and she shakily nodded her head. "I need some place to stay for the moment."

The younger woman felt her chest ache for the brunette that had come back into her life and she immediately nodded her head, her arm wrapping around Emily's waist and leading her inside. "Come on," she whispered, letting the older woman's head lie on her shoulder once they were sitting side by side at her kitchen table. "Talk to me."