Epilogue:

Looking up at the door anxiously, Kili took another deep breath and went over what he was going to say for the fiftieth time that day.

"Hello mother, yes I'm back home safe and sound. No Fili's not with me…" He sighed with exhaustion and rubbed his eyes. They had rushed from Erebor back here so that his mother heard the news from him first. He knew it would mean more to her coming from him and having him back home safe with her when she found out about her eldest son and brothers deaths but unfortunately the journey backs haste had meant that Kili was tired, slightly irritable and in no mood to be the bearer of such awful news.

Ignoring his aching head Kili raised his hand and knocked on his mother's door loudly. Taking a few steps back, Kili's eyes scanned the solid walls that had protected the home Dis had created for her children after her husband's death. She had always done her utmost to protect her children and ensure that, despite the responsibility their futures had promised and their somewhat overbearing and overly serious uncle that the young dwarfs had been allowed to be children and have fun without fear.

A familiar creak seemed to rip through his ears and echo around his skull as Kili turned his head and saw his mother opening the door.

She said nothing as she saw her youngest son stood on her doorstep solemnly. Her eyes quickly did a check of him as she tried to spot any injury he may have received. But more than that, Kili suspected, she was making sure he was really there. And he was right, as Dis had imagined the return of her sons so many times that, upon finally seeing one of them outside her door, she almost wondered if it was just her imagination again.

"Hello ma…" Kili said softly, turning and opening his arms, waiting for the warm, sweet scented hug that had comforted him so many times over the years.

"Kili… oh Kili!" She called out before running to wrap her arms around her child, so overjoyed at the sight of him that for a second the absence of her other son and brother slipped her mind as she allowed herself to rejoice that Kili was there, safe and sound.

"Oh darling I'm so glad you're well! And here… I have imagined this so many times… I've been so worried!" Dis stroked her sons face and smiled, fondly likening the strong, tall dwarf before her to the young wild dwarf who had been forever getting under his uncles feet with his small wooden axe. The memory of Kili hacking at Thorin's ankles with his toy was one that Dis had found comfort with over these long months without her family, but now it brought back her priorities.

"Where is your brother? Are we to go to see them at Erebor? Are we going home my darling? I have heard such tales… is it all true? Is the beast truly slain?" She looked up into her son's eyes with such eagerness and trust that Kili felt agony pierce his heart like a flaming arrow.

"Smaug is slain mother, but… he was not the only one who fell. There was a battle… Azog, he…" Kili could no longer find the words and all those ways he had practised telling his mother died inside his head as he looked into her eyes. The light inside them was quickly dying and any words of comfort he wished to say to her fell like lead on his tongue.

Dis shook her head at her son, like she had done so many times when he had been young and misbehaving. Looking behind him she saw a Balin and the other dwarves of the company who she had known and trusted throughout the years. They were all there… but Fili and Thorin.

Dis could not help but wonder why they had all returned but Fili and Thorin. She looked to Balin, who had been like a father to her since Thrains disappearance, for answers but she saw the sorrow written on every line of his face and the realisation of the truth hit her like a blow to the stomach. Winded, she collapsed and began weeping uncontrollably, the horror of her loss echoing through her head like a banshees screeches.

Her baby, her first born… gone.

Kili knelt down and wrapped his arms around her, crying with her and sharing in her grief.

When the shock subsided Kili helped his mother to her feet and held her, promising to stay with her and protect her, that together they could get through this. He said anything that came to mind, anything that could provide her with even a shred of comfort.

Dis wiped her eyes and blew her nose on her sleeve before looking at the rest of the company, most of whom had dissolved into tears at the sight of her grief, and inwardly wondered why not one of them? Why HER son when so many so older who had lived good long lives still remained?

Her brother had been an adult, he had made his own decisions and would have been happy to die honourably having completed his quest and avenged his family. But Fili? He was still a child to her, and he always would be. He would never grow old now.

It was then that Dis caught sight of Tauriel, standing awkwardly a few paces behind the company.

"Who's that?" She asked, looking at the elf with distrust.

"This is Tauriel of the woodland realm… she saved my life more times than I can count." Kili said proudly, holding his hand out to Tauriel.

Tauriel walked forward slowly and bowed to Dis before taking Kili's hand shyly.

"Tauriel, this is my mother Dis, daughter of Thrain." Kili said, trying to sound happy despite the grief that was threatening to swallow him whole.

"And you love her?" Dis clarified immediately, looking from her son to Tauriel with all seeing eyes.

Kili looked at his mother with a startled expression.

"Yes, but how did you…?"

"A mother always knows my lad." She said kindly, stroking Kili's face again. Looking up at Tauriel, Dis tried to look welcoming despite being all too aware that her sorrow had taken hold of her features. "Do you like ale?"

"Not overly, but I drink it when appropriate." Tauriel answered honestly and politely.

"Well then, would you join me in drinking to my son's memory?" Dis asked.

"Of course, Fili saved my life and defended me when few others would have."

Dis smiled and looked at the couple. "I should like to hear more about that, he's always so brave, my Fi."

"Yes he was." Tauriel said softly.

Nodding, Dis turned and led the way back into her home, her thoughts matching Kili's perfectly.

'Was… I'll never get used to that.'