"It's a magic school, right?" one of the Muggleborn piped up as usually happened once every year with the incoming class. "So, why do we all have to go to London in order to take a slow ass train to school?"

The half-blood who was sitting in the same compartment as the Muggleborn turned to his companion and started to explain.

"You see, it's like this..."

The Year Before the Hogwarts Express Began its Run:

"Dippet, Binns, Floo collision on the Third Floor!" Headmaster Black yelled as he sent the aging professor and his younger counterpart to deal with the aftermath of yet another Floo collision.

Weaving in and out of the chaos that was the students' luggage which was left scattered around the castle for the House Elves to pick up, he made his way to the front entrance.

"11:30am Portkey from Godric's Hollow!" the Caretaker announced as a bunch of children of varying ages appeared on the lawn clutching a rope in one hand and their trunks in the other.

"Here's another lot up from Hogsmeade." the Groundskeeper said as he arrived with a small knot of children aged somewhere between five and eighteen, several of whom would have to be shooed off and sent back home where they belonged. "Simmons will be along shortly, he forgot his shoes."

As the lot from Godric's Hollow dragged their trunks into the castle, the Caretaker came up to him. "I've just received word from the Weasleys that they won't be in until tomorrow. They decided to take brooms up this year as part of some sort of family outing."

Deciding that a walk would be just the thing for his rapidly fraying nerves, he made his way up the path to Hogsmeade. As he made his way past the boundary of the castle's anti-apparition wards, he watched a blonde couple side-along their son in, and watched the boy run off in the direction of Honeyduke's the instant his parents had vanished back to their home. Catching up to the boy and grabbing him by his ear after soundly boxing them a couple of times, he turned and dragged the brat back to the castle where he belonged.

As soon as he reached Hogwarts' front gates, he was met by a House Elf who was nervously wringing his hands.

"Sir," the House Elf began in a tremulous voice. "Patsy is wanting to know how many to expect for lunch."

"I have no fucking idea!" he roared at the elf before grabbing the brat who was making a break for it by his arm and forcefully dragging him back to the castle where he learned that there had been another Floo collision in the Gryffindor Common Room and that the Weasleys had turned up after all, having cut their little trip short due to an argument between the youngest siblings which had continued unabated the instant the little monsters had been spat out of the Floo.

It was at that point that the 12:00 portkey from Leeds and the 12:00 portkey from Leadworth arrived at the same exact place on the Hogwarts lawn at the exact same time, necessitating a call to the Accidental Magic Reversal Squad.

"There has got to be a better way to do this." the Headmaster groaned.