Two Angry Men

"Got this just this morning." Chief Deputy US Marshal Art Mullen passed the file over the table. "New fugitive to be on the lookout for."

"Any reason ya ain't just sticking him on the front board with the rest of our calendar girls?" Deputy US Marshal Raylan Givens arched an eyebrow, flipping the folder open.

"Director said to make sure everybody looked at it special. Hell if I know why." Mullen scratched his armpits and yawned. "Some yankee doctor, they say he started off running this way, figured he might come by us."

Raylan looked up at his boss. "They said that. Seriously." Getting a nod in return, he shook his head and laid the folder back on the desk with a sigh. "Well, that's a shitty way to do things."

"Apparently they sent the same thing out to Tennessee, Mississippi, and Alabama offices." Mullen shook his head. "Casting a wide net, that's for sure."

"Ain't a terribly big fish. Man this scrawny get eaten alive by the skeeters out here." Raylan observed, studying the profile. "What the hell's a doctor doing running from the law, anyway? He mess up somebody's boob job?"

"He's one of them government doctors."

"No shit."

"Uh-huh." Mullen nodded significantly. "They didn't give me any details, but apparently there's some pretty juicy secrets bouncing around in that brain, so exercise discretion, blahty blah, national security blah blah, keep your big fat trap shut."

"Yessir." Raylan fired off a mock salute. "So we actually chasin' done this guy or just keepin' an eye out?"

Mullen sighed as he fell back into his chair. "Just keepin' an eye out." He answered. "Ain't likely to amount to anything, there's no particular reason for Dr. Banner to come here to Tennessee."

"Yeah, I seen that feller." The gas station attendant nodded. "Walkin' down the road like it wasn't never gonna end. Jittery little runt, musta jumped half a mile when I gave a holler."

"Really?" Raylan gave Gutterson a significant look. "He buy anything?"

"Eh... some sleeping aids and a coupla Slim Jims." The attendant shrugged. "Talked kinda funny, you could tell he weren't from around here."

"Anyone else see him?" asked Gutterson.

The attendant scratched under his armpit, considering. "Bumped inta Jeb Hauser on his way out." He answered. "Jeb was bein' his usual jerkass self... swore him up and down and spat in his face. I coulda sworn they were gonna get inta it, but feller just walked away."

"That a fact. Which way'd he go?"

"Oh, he headed off over that way." The attendant waved a scrawny arm vaguely. "He was packin' some gear, looked like he was headed to go hiking."

"You call Mullen and tell him we found him?" Raylan stared at the ramshackle granary half-hidden in the trees/

"Yep." Gutterson answered.

"What'd he say?"

"Said to sit tight, he's got orders to let the feds take him in."

"Th'hell with that." Raylan snorted, opening the car door. "Sit out here waiting, guy's scrawny ass is like to get up and run away."

Gutterson chuckled, opening his car door. "I say, we do the leg-work, we get the credit of arrestin' the guy. Hey though." He nudged Wayland. "Figure we oughta call for backup?"

Raylan pretended to think about this. "Dunno. Some of them eggheads can be powerful scratchers."

"WHAT TH'HELL IS THAT THING!?" yelled Raylan, dashing through the trees.

"HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO KNOW?" answered Gutterson, firing blindly back through the brush as he ran. "YOU'RE THE GENIUS WHO SAID WE DIDN'T NEED BACKUP!"

Raylan shook his head. "Dunno what they're feedin' doctors these days..." He muttered under his breath.

A sudden roar made them glance back. The brush swelled suddenly and then burst apart, disgorging a massive green form that pounded after them, breaking the trees in its way like twigs. It was man-shaped, but there was nothing human about the way it tore through the formerly thick forest.

"MOTHEROF-" Gutterson fired wildly.

"YA AIN'T GONNA BRING THAT THING DOWN WITH NO PEASHOOTER, GUTTERSON!" Raylan shouted.

"WELL I SURE AIN'T GONNA OUTRUN HIM LIKE YOU ARE!" His partner shouted back.

Raylan shook his head. "AIN'T TRYIN' TA OUTRUN HIM," He answered, putting on a burst of speed, "JUST TRYIN' TA OUTRUN YOU!"

"HELL WITH THAT! LET'S SPLIT UP!"

"SUITS ME!"

Raylan cut right. He heard Gutterson cut left.

The roar turned right.

"Gotta admit, I was hopin' that landslide'd slow you down some, Dr. Banner." Raylan panted, staring in resignation at the green body rising from the ground. "Honestly, by this point I'm just aimin' to see how long I can keep... it..." His voice trailed off.

The green monster was slumped over, heaving great pants of breath, its shaking body somehow diminishing and its raging green subsiding to a sickly pale.

And then the monster was gone, and the only thing left kneeling in the mud was the limp form of Dr. Bruce Banner.

Raylan stared at him for a minute. Then he took off his hat. "Well this is a mite embarrassing." He muttered.

"Thanks for the clothes."

"Was better'n starin' at your junk." Raylan grunted. "How many pants you go through, anyway?"

Banner closed his eyes. "You have no idea. I'm getting better at guessing what size I need to buy, but the... big fellow really has no set size... his bulk increases in proportion to the emotional reaction."

Raylan glanced outside the window at the rain. He'd dropped his phone somewhere along the way, and there was not a chance in hell of the marshals finding him in this weather. "So you get mad, you turn into that one... Jolly Green Giant from the french peas can. 'Cept not so jolly."

The scientist groaned and slumped against the farm door. "You have no idea how many times I've heard that." He let out a sigh. "Yes. Excessive stress prompts an increase in blood pressure and release of adrenaline, which combines with nucleotidic cells..."

"Doc." Raylan held up his hands. "Just the Cliff Notes, okay?"

Again Dr. Banner sighed. "Banner get mad, Banner get green and ugly." He paraphrased. "Happy?"

Raylan considered for a moment. "Dang, that's gotta mess with your head."

"No kidding. The damage I've caused, it..."

"Not that." Raylan waved impatiently. "Naw, I mean... yer always trying to keep from getting mad, right? That's why you walked away from that one jerkass who flipped you off at the gas station."

"Yes. Confrontation aggravates the condition. It..."

"See now, that ain't healthy." Raylan shook his head. "Y'ever seen one of them pressure cookers, doc? Use 'em to make all sorts of good stuff. When I was a kid, I got to thinking, what happens if you close off the valve on one of those things?" Wayland shook his head. "You ever seen soup explode all across a family reunion?"

"You're lucky that's all it was." Banner indicated. "You're talking about a bomb, there."

"No shit. You really are some kind of genius, aren't you?" Raylan regarded the man with tolerant humor. "'Cept when it comes to bein' this green fella. See, what you need to do is not try to shut off the valve, what you should do is just take the lid off."

There was a bit of silence.

"I'm... I'm sorry." Dr. Banner had a puzzled look on his face. "I'm trying to... I don't see..."

"It's kind of a metaphor, you..."

"...no, no, I get it's a metaphor, I just don't quite see..."

"...pressure cooker is like bottlin' up all the shit people do..."

"...again, got that, but what's the lid supposed to be...?"

Raylan sighed. "You don't want to stop getting angry, Doc." He explained. "Everyone gets angry once in a while. See, what you want to do? Is to be always angry."

"Pity you lost track of that doctor feller." Mullen commented. "Feds were really itchin' to get their hands on him."

"I bet they were." Raylan nodded. "Have to send 'em an apology for not trackin' him while I was runnin' for my life and shit."

Mullen grunted. "They did express some mild surprise at your still being alive." He admitted. "Got to say, when Gutterson came back with his story, after I decided he was tellin' the truth, I was fixin' to send your Daddy a mighty sad letter."

Raylan eyed his captain with good humor. "T'wouldn't be a sad letter for neither you nor my daddy." He pointed out.

"No, but you wouldn't be enjoying it none." Mullen answered. For a moment he studied the US marshal. "Fact of the matter is, you seem awful laid back for a feller just looked death in the face, Givens. Mind sayin' what it is you're so plum pleased about?"

"Well..." Raylan crossed his arms and stared up at the ceiling. "Just something my ex said one time... said I was the angriest man she knew." He shook his head with a grin. "Guess I'm just a little tickled to find out she was wrong."

"...and that's where I got my secret." Banner finished.

"Huh." Tony Stark stared at the contents of his scotch glass. "Gotta admit, figured it was more something of an eastern mystic thing or a wise Indian on top of a mountain."

"Sorry to disappoint." Banner shrugged. "Just a wisecracking US Marshal in a barn in a rainstorm."

"Go figure. I'll have to tell you sometime about when I took life lessons from a ten-year-old." Tony nodded. He downed the glass. "So, that was it? One little pithy comment and all your troubles were solved?"

"Well, it took a while to get it right... for a long while I still got nervous whenever I was angry, and that would set it off. But honestly..." A peculiar expression spread across Banner's face. "...the advice was only half of it."

He paused. Tony, indulgently patient, poured himself another glass of scotch.

"See, ever since I got... changed..." Banner continued, "...I had a real guilt problem. I figured that I must be a pretty terribly angry man, for the formula to have such an extreme reaction."

"Don't take this the wrong way, but you do kind of have a 'perpetual rage' thing going on."

Banner's face cleared. "No, I still know that, I'm always conscious of being angry now. But it's just... that marshal..." He shook his head. "We were in that barn for a long time, you know, and we kept talking... about his job, his ex, his friends, his family..." Banner paused again. "Tony, I'm an angry man, but that marshal? He was mad."

A/N: I feel like I should really know more about Justified before writing this. I've only watched the first three episodes, but for some reason Winona's comment about Raylan being "the angriest man I know," and Raylan's manner of hiding this perpetual anger reminded me of Banner's constant rage in "The Avengers" (Which is why this is under that crossover, not the Incredible Hulk fandom) And it occurred to me that Banner and Givens, as fugitive and marshal, might very well meet up in the backhills of Tennessee during the interim between Hulk and Avengers.

So I wrote this quick little one-shot. It was originally going to be longer, but this gets the idea across. I'm a little disappointed with the cover image... FF's image manager kept cutting off the bottom, so I had to keep cutting off the top until you could see the full title, and it doesn't look as fun as the original. But I think it still works well.