Hi there! Me and my friend are sharing this account because why the hell not? So we'll be on and off writing! Anyways this a story that she and I wrote together when we hung out last! I hope you like it!

MALEC GOES SHOPPING!

"Magnus, we're going shopping... for groceries." Alec huffed, throwing his hands down at his sides. Magnus just sighed and kept examining the array of hair care products in front of him.

"Diva now are we?" He asked, fingering a shapely pink bottle labeled GRAPEFRUIT. "We are shopping Alexander; I'm looking at shampoos!" He picked up another bottle and inspected the label; 100% organic passion fruit and mango mixture, sure to make your hair happy! He sighed and put it back on the shelf.

"Magnus, grocery shopping isn't just getting shampoos. You also get food... FOR EATING!" Alec raised his wrist and checked his watch. "Oh and look at that! We've been standing here looking for shampoo for forty-five minutes now!" He shouted, glaring at the delicious smelling shampoos. Magnus shot him a quick glance and then returned his gaze to the shelf of hair cleansers.

"Well they don't have my glitter shampoo, honestly I don't understand why I can't just magic us our groceries. It has worked for me for eight hundred years." Magnus replied, finally grabbing a tall lavender bottle and putting it in the basket on his arm. Alec let out a deep breath.

"Thank the Angel, now we can go get some food." He breathed and then looked back at his boyfriend. "And we're here because we're going to be a normal couple for once." Alec said. Magnus nodded, distractedly staring at the soaps.

"There's no such thing as a 'normal couple' Alec darling. Where to now? Oh look! Body washes!" Magnus said cheerily. Alec groaned and hung his head, following Magnus to the colorful display of scrubs. A sales-lady walked up to them smiling widely.

"Hi! How are you finding everything today?" She asked pleasantly. Magnus pursed his lips and looked at the woman.

"Well, there are these signs over the aisles and they tell me what is in each aisle. Then I look on the labels to find out what I'm looking at and then-"

"Just great, thanks." Alec interrupted shortly. The woman looked confused as she sucked in her lips.

"Well, can I help you find anything?" She asked. Alec rolled his eyes exasperatedly.

"No!" He snapped. She looked taken aback.

"Calm down Alexander! Actually, do you have any glitter body wash?" Magnus asked, addressing the woman.

"Um, I can go check if you'd like, I love your hair by the way." She said, turning as if to go check for Magnus's order. Alec started to turn red and he gritted his teeth.

"Not. Helping." He growled at the woman. She stopped and watched Alec, stunned.

"Fine." Magnus snapped, giving Alec a steely glare. "How about tomato ketchup? Do you have any of that?" He asked, turning back to the saleswoman. Alec huffed angrily.

"Why would we need KETCHUP?" Alec shouted. The woman sneaked off away from the volatile Nephilim and Warlock.

I don't know, that's something 'normal couples' eat right?" Magnus asked snippily, emphasizing normal couples with bunny ear quotations. Alec looked about ready to explode.

"NO!" Was all he could get out. Magnus huffed.

"Well maybe Jace will want some next time he stops by." He reasoned.

"Jace hates tomatoes!" Alec shouted.

"Clary?"

"Since when do I care if Clary eats ketchup?" Alec yelled, flinging his arms into the air. Magnus shrugged.

"Your sister?"

"Izzy never visits! And if she did I don't think she'd even know what to do with ketchup!"

"Ok fine, so Chairman Meow will eat it!" Magnus shouted at Alec, dropping the little black shopping basket on the floor. Alec glanced at it quickly and back up at Magnus.

"Why would your cat eat ketchup?!" Alec demanded.

"Maybe he likes it!" Magnus retorted angrily. Alec's expression softened into pissed-off amusement.

"Yeah and maybe Izzy likes Simon." He snorted. Magnus rolled his eyes angrily at Alec.

"Well maybe she does." He told Alec.

"I've never even seen a bottle of ketchup in your apartment. Ever." Alec shouted back. Magnus crossed his arms and shifted his weight.

"That's because Chairman Meow eats it all!" Magnus countered.

"How do you find time to make up all these lies?!" Alec yelled in response. People stared as they walked past the aisle that Magnus and Alec were engaged in their battle in.

"I don't, I make them up on the spot!" Magnus shouted, feigning anger now.

"Well good for you! You're a terrible liar by the way! Hold on, why is everyone staring at us?!" Alec bellowed, tying to hold onto his anger.

"I don't know! Why are we still shouting?!" Magnus replied in the same tone and volume. Alec realized that he was starting to giggle.

"I knew I should've worn a glamour!" Alec shouted.

"Hold on! If I can't use magic you can use runes!" Magnus replied.

"People are staring!"

"What did I tell you about normal couples?!" Magnus yelled, both still shouting for no reason. Neither, though, had the slightest idea what they were fighting about anymore.

"Are we getting ketchup or not?!" Alec shouted, trying to steer them back to their first subject.

"Yeah sure! Maybe Chairmen Meow will like it!" Magnus shrugged.

"Maybe!" Alec shouted back.

"Ok! Let's get some!" Magnus reached down and grabbed the black shopping basket and slung it back on his arm. The two left the hygiene aisle with a few perplexed stares from on-lookers. Magnus and Alec walked arm-in-arm to the condiments aisle.

~IN THE CONDIMENTS AISLE~

"No Magnus, we can't get the 'extra fancy' ketchup. It's two dollars more than the regular, what's the difference anyways?" Alec said, pulling the bottle of Heinz from Magnus's hand and putting it back on the shelf.

"The difference, Alexander, is class. One is for poor white trash and the other is for sophisticated persons like ourselves." Magnus replied, gently dusting off his waistcoat lapels. Alec sighed.

"Magnus, the fancy stuff is two dollars more than the regular. We're not made of money Mag." Alec told him tiredly. Magnus looked at Alec, offense spread across his face.

"Maybe I am, you don't know that I'm not!" Magnus snapped. Alec rolled his eyes and grabbed the regular ketchup. "Hey! I want the fancy stuff, if I'm paying for it then I get to choose!" Magnus demanded.

"Well maybe I'm paying for it!" Alec shouted at Magnus. Magnus looked at Alec like he was crazy, he would've held the expression if it wasn't for those damn eyes. Magnus stared dreamily into Alec's blue eyes before Alec snapped his fingers and brought Magnus back into reality.

"Do you have money?" He asked. Alec shrugged.

"I can call Jace?" He suggested, his voice inflecting at the end. Magnus just smiled. He always had a soft spot for Alec even when he was being a complete pain.

"Fine, but I swear by Raziel, Lilith –whoever, it doesn't matter- if you don't let me get expensive steak then I will beat you with a pan." Magnus grumbled. Alec smiled and they kept moving.

...

"Hey do we even want this ketchup?"

Hey thanks! The next one-shot is going to be about Clary and Jace! Thanks much and don't forget to R&R!