The Idiot Hero and the War Hero

Starring: Flippy and Splendid

Featuring: Lifty and Shifty, Sniffles, Flaky, Giggles, Petunia, Flaky, Handy, and Lumpy

The town of Happy Tree was constantly surrounded by death and misfortune. It was only natural that all of its residents occupied themselves with multiple jobs and activities — they would have probably gone insane otherwise. Such activities ranged from hitting up the arcade to rocking out hard at the dance hall to simply sitting outside and enjoying nature while thinking. The latter was the activity that Flippy was currently engaging himself with.

The dogtag-wearing veteran was sitting on a wooden bench in the town park with his hands clasped onto his stomach and with his head tilted towards the evening sun. He sat there thinking of the past while listening as the rusty and empty swingsets of the playground swang back and forth. It was a grating but strangely peaceful sound.

Creak. Creak.

Creak. Creak.

"— crazy, huh?"

The sound of five pairs of footsteps echoed along the sidewalk of the park as the aforementioned phrase reached Flippy's ears. In turn, the former soldier lowered and turned his head, making out five distinct and recognizable figures walking a couple feet away on the sidewalk that had been built parallel to his bench.

Flaky. Sniffles.

Giggles. Petunia. Handy.

The group seemed to be in deep conversation with Sniffles and his high-held comic book at the center of it all. Flaky, however, didn't appear to be as glued to the conversation as the others were and immediately spotted Flaky at his perch. She waved to him tentatively, saying —

"H-Hello, Mr. Flippy."

Flippy waved back to her just as the other five reared their bright heads in his direction.

"Oh, Mr. Flippy!" Giggles pipped as she fully registered him; she skipped over to his side, bringing the others along with her. They surrounded him and peered down at his expression. "What are you doing here?"

"I was just taking a little break off of work and decided that I might as well enjoy nature for a bit." the ex-soldier replied, noting at how Giggles's eyes brightened at the word 'nature'. He paused for a moment, before he joking added with a chuckle: "And stop calling me 'mister' — I'm not that much older than you, you know."

Flaky notably blushed at this comment, turning a bright shade of red, while the others laughed both nervously and sheepishly.

"By the way," Flippy continued after another pause of silence; he gestured towards the plastic-covered comic book that Sniffles was tightly hugging, "What have you got there, Sniffles?"

As soon as the question was asked, Sniffles's expression brightened. The self-proclaimed scientist then coughed loudly, adjusted his circular glasses, and held up the book for all to see.

"What I hold in my hand now is only the limited edition copy of Splendid's Heroic Adventures, Volume One!" — his voice was laced with sarcasm and pride; it was a tone that caused Handy to noticeably roll his eyes.

Looking closer now, Flippy could see that a proud-looking young man adorned in red and blue was posing on the comic book's cover.

"Oh, that's pretty cool." Flipy smiled with a slightly puzzled expression. "... But who is this 'Splendid'?"

Sniffles looked as if his heart had been shot out by an arrow (well, he actually had self-admittedly had his heart shot out by an arrow before, but that was a whole other story). Giggles and Petunia had their hands clasped around their mouths, while Flaky looked pleasantly surprised. Handy looked mildly upset.

"You don't know who Splendid is?" Sniffles gasped.

"But he's a superhero!" Giggles protested.

"Everyone is talking about him these days." Petunia added.

"He's alright, I guess." Handy huffed despite himself; and flaky shrugged awkwardly in agreement.

Slightly overwhelmed by their spirited reactions, Flippy attempted to calm the group down. His nervous expression didn't appear to aid him in his effort.

"I've honestly never heard of Splendid before; if you guys just tell me —"

"Splendid is…!" Sniffles began with a huff of excitement, as he jitterily adjusted his glasses, "Splendid is a phenomenal and super-powered being! He has the fascinating abilities of super-strength, laser-vision, flight, and much more! He always comes to the aid of those in need. In fact, he saved me earlier today when those two kleptomaniac brothers attempted to steal my prized comic book!"

Flippy blanched as Sniffles waved his hands, comic book tight in his grip, in the air; he wasn't really following the scientist's explanation.

"I… I see…"Flippy murmured with a confused smile.

"Long story short," Handy added, shooting a pensive look in Sniffles's direction, "the guy saves people."

"He's so cool." Giggles gushed; she turned towards Petunia. "Right, Petunia?"

"Yeah, he's amazing." Petunia nodded warmly in agreement.

"He's not that cool." Handy grumbled as he noted Petunia's cheery expression.

"You can always borrow some of my comics about him if you want to learn more, Flippy." Flaky interjected with a somewhat timid look. "I have a couple of them about him at my house—"

"Forget that!" Sniffles announced loudly, brushing the redhead aside. He stepped forward and held out his comic in Flippy's direction. "I'm offended that you don't know about him; take mine and educate yourself!"

"You get really abrasive when you're fanboying, y'know that?" Handy scoffed jokingly as he nudged the scientist with his shoulder.

Flippy blinked at the extended comic book in surprise, an uneasy look sliding onto his face.

"Are you sure you want to give me this?" the former soldier drew slowly. "It seems pretty important to you…"

"Only if you return it in its top and mint condition" — Sniffles pronounced this with his head held high; and when Flippy didn't move to take it, the boy pushed it into the man's hands. "You can borrow it for a week!"

"I'll take good care of it until then." Flippy nodded warmly after he had thought the ordeal over. Sniffles grinned widely at this.

With that, the group of five departed with a collection of varying farewells.

Flippy remained sitting at his bench, comic book held loosely in his hands as he stared at the slowing descending yellow orb in the sky. When the sun became just a half-saucer of orange in the purpling horizon, the ex-soldier rose to a stand and began to make his way home, the filmy comic held ever-so-gingerly in his hand.

Flippy had been walking along a chain of stores and shops that were on the way to his cabin, when he found it — 'it' being what appeared to be a thick and lock piece of red ribbon. The said ribbon was stuck in-between a crack in the sidewalk and the bricking of an abandoned shop. It fluttered in the wind, jumping up and down and up and down.

"Oh, litterers…" Flippy sighed with a shake of his head as he approached the red scrap and bent down to pick it up. Holding it up to the dimming light, he could see that the ribbon had two eye-shaped holes cut out at its center. "... a mask?"

From the corner of his eye, he suddenly saw a flash of blue and a shadow cross him from behind.

"You fiend!" came a voice that was trying too hard to be deep. "Unhand my mask right this instant!"

Flippy turned and came to a stand, coming eye-to-eye with a blue-clad young man who had his left hand covering up his face.

"... excuse me?" Flippy blinked, overwhelmed at all the blue he was seeing.

"I won't ask you again!" the man in blue continued; he suddenly took a step back and came to a defensive stance, bright eyes narrowed. "Who are you — wait, you must be an accomplice of those two robbers!"

"What…?"

[Several Hours Earlier]

The sun was still high in the sky when Lifty and Shifty spotted their next victim. The duo currently stood under the shadow of a single tree, staring across the asphalt road at a young boy wearing circular glasses and holding what appeared to be a comic book. The glass-wearing boy sat on a bench near the bus-stop, staring calculatingly at the sky.

"Hey, Lifty." the elder brother began with a cross of his arms.

"Yeah, Shifty?" replied the other.

"That comic book that the nerd over there is holding looks really interesting."

"It looks valuable and expensive…!"

"That guy doesn't look like he's actually going to read that thing now, does he?" Shifty pressed on, pulling his fedora from his head to over his mouth to hide his growing smile.

"We would probably be doin' the fella a big favor," Lifty smirked in agreement, "if we took it from him."

There was a pause of silence; but Lifty knew better than to speak, unless he wanted to ruin his brother's plotting. After several more minutes of fhis silence, Shifty snapped his fingers, placed his hat back on his head, and turned towards his brother.

"Here's the plan." he began; he nodded his head in the direction of their soon-to-be victim. "You go chat the guy up — distract him n' stuff. When you've got his full attention, just give me a signal and I'll snatch it right out of his fingers. Ya got that?"

"Sounds good t'me!" Lifty nodded.

"Well, what're y'waiting for?" Shifty snapped, smacking his brother upside the head. "Go and distract 'im!"

"Where are you going t'be hiding at though? Lifty pressed on with a frown as he rubbed his now bruised head.

"Doesn't matter. Just scratch your ear when you're ready, wait a few, and make a run for it — I'll meet ya back up at the shack, if we get seperated… 'lright?"

Lifty nodded tentatively, before he was roughly shoved forward by his brother.

"Get on it! Go!"

Lifty grumbled internally to himself and began to cross the street. After a minute, a smirk began to find its way right back onto his face. This smirk, however, disappeared as fast it came, because a car suddenly rushed past him from behind, missing him only by a nosehair. Cursing loudly, he sent a dark glare at the vehicle's driver — a moose-looking type of guy. Grumbling to himself again, he finally reached the other side of the road and greeted his victim with a smile —

"Hey there, Sniffles."

The addressed boy looked up from his seat, placing his held comic book on a spot right next to him with slightly suspecting eyes.

"Hello." Sniffles greeted. "Can I help you with something, Lifty?"

Lifty stared at Sniffles awkwardly, having not properly planned out his confrontation yet.

"W-Well," Lifty began, his frown melding to a smirk, " I was wonderin' if you wanted t'be a part of this group cosplay Shifty and I have planned. You're into that kinda stuff, aren't ya'?"

Sniffles blinked rapidly, eyes brightening. He shot up from his seat and came closer to Lifty.

"A cosplay meet up?" the glasses-wearing boy piped. "For which fandom?"

Lifty, slightly taken aback, chuckled nervously and scratched his ear.

"Well…" Lifty drawled, watching as his brother appeared from out of literally no where and grinned as he edged towards the bench out of the corner of his eyes; he continued watching as Shifty snatched the comic book up with a grin. "... It's called the 'Smell-Ya-Later' fandom!"

And with that the two kleptomaniac brothers were off. Sniffles stared after the duo for several long minutes, before he finally registered that his beloved comic book was no longer in its place. By that time, the two brothers were well on their way down the road.

"H-Hey!" Sniffles stuttered as he shook his head in disbelief. "They stole my comic book! Help!" He started after them, waving his hands wildly in the air. "Someone stop them!"

Suddenly a stream of blue and red rushed past him overhead. The self-proclaimed scientist stopped in his tracks just in time to see his revered superhero tackle the two robbers down to the ground in the distance.

The two brothers, now firmly pinned to the ground, winced in pain — the skin on their stomachs had literally been skinned off by the sheer force of the hero's tackle — and attempted to struggle out of their captive's grappling hold.

"So," drew the blue hero with a confident grin as he peered down into the faces of the criminals, "Lifty and Shifty again, huh?" He shook his blue head and added: "You two never learn, do you?"

"Oh jack off, Splendid!" growled one.

"Let us go, y'bastard!"

"Not until you two give back what you stole and take yourselves to jail!" the superhero ordered in a commanding voice.

It was at this time the Sniffles entered the scene. He looked first at the two brothers — he looked at Shifty in particular because the kleptomaniac was tightly grasping his fedora in one hand and the stolen comic in the other — then at Splendid.

"It really is you, Splendid!" Sniffles gushed as he hopped over to hero's side, not fully registering the situation; he pulled out a pen and a blank card from his pocket and held them out for Splendid. "I'm such a big fan of yours! Would you give me your signature, please?"

Splendid frowned at Sniffles for a moment, eyeing the pen and the card. A smile broke through his face then and he released his captives, taking then and card in hand.

"Of course — "

Splendid stopped himself short as he felt the knot of his red mask become undone from behind his head. He turned just in time to see the two brothers wave at him in the distance, each holding an end of his red mask in their hands.

"Smell ya' later, super-loser!" Shifty grinned back as he tipped his hat mockingly.

Splendid gapped uncomprehendingly at the sudden change of events.

"S-Splendid!" Sniffles gasped, eyes sparkling like diamonds as he leaned forward in an attempt to catch a glimpse of the hero's true face. "Y-Your mask—

The said hero immediately covered his face, bent down low to pick up the stolen comic book that the brothers had abandoned, and smacked the book right into Sniffles's face, obscuring the boy's vision.

"Don't look!" Splendid cried.

The sheer force of the smack sent Sniffles soaring backwards and crashing into a nearby building unconscious. By the time Sniffles came to, Splendid was gone; instead, the self-proclaimed scientist was surrounded by four familiar and worried-looking faces.

[Present Time]

"Release my possession at once!" Splendid continued as he pointed an accusatory finger at the green-clad man who stood across from him. "If you don not, well then, I must — "

He was cut off short as the green man nonchalantly held out the mask with a loose grip and a smile.

"I assume this is yours then?" the man proposed with a slight laugh.

Splendid did a double take, staring at the man in surprise before he hastily snatched the mask back with his free hand.

"Don't look!" Splendid commanded as he turned around and refastened his mask back onto his face. The hero turned back to face the green-wearing man and noted that the man had complied with his order and had covered his eyes. "You can look now!" Splendid chirped in a slightly awkward tone.

The man lowered his hand and blinked at Splendid with a raised eyebrow and an uncertain smile.

"Are you all good now?" the man questioned.

"It was nothing I couldn't handle!" Splendid cleared his throat loudly, placing his hands firmly on his hips. "I assume that you're not in league with the robbing duo then?"

"Huh?" the man frowned with a puzzled expression. "Oh! Do you mean Lifty and Shifty?"

"Y'know them?" Splendid blinked, becoming suspicious again.

"I've had a couple of unpleasant run-ins with them." the man admitted with a half-hearted shrug.

"Is that so?" Splendid squinted. "Are you new to Happy Tree then? I've never seen you around here before!"

"I've actually lived here for a while now." the man answered with a slight stutter, somewhat overwhelmed by the hero's energetic demeanor. "I live a couple blocks away from here."

"I see…!" Splendid drew slowly, before his eyes glimmered egoistically. He puffed out his chest slightly, saying: "You must have heard of me then?"

A long stretch of awkward silence passed. In this silence, Splendid remained in his stiff pose and the man continued to look him over.

"... I'm sorry." the man murmured with a slightly tilted head. "But who are you?"

Splendid felt his entire world shatter.

How was this possible? How did a resident of Happy Tree not know who he was?

"W-Wha —-" the hero sputtered, blatantly offended; he suddenly recoiled and pointed a finger direction at the man's face. "The really questions is who are you?"

The man stared at Splendid's extended finger, before he met the hero's eyes — "I'm Flippy…?"

"Flippy, huh?" Splendid huffed in an attempt not to pout. He then took his time to actually look over the man and realized with surprise that the said man was wearing a military outfit. "You're uniform…"

Flippy appeared confused at the hero's statement and he gave a tentative nod.

"...Yeah, I served in W.A.R—

"Woah!" Splendid murmured with a serious nod, before he suddenly threw an arm over the former soldier's shoulder. "You're just like me — a hero!"

Splendid noticed Flippy stiffen at the last word, so he peered into Flippy's face.

"I-I'm no hero.." Flippy murmured with a smiling expression that hid a pained one. The green-clad man started suddenly as the phrase 'like me' finally registered in his mind. He turned towards Splendid slowly. "Wait.. What do you mean by 'like me'?"

"I mean," Splendid pronounced loudly with a proud smile, "'like me': Splendid — Happy Tree's greatest hero!"

It was at this moment that Flippy brought up his borrowed comic book to eye-level. He stared at the book's cover, then at Splendid's face. He went back and forth in-between the two while gaping.

"Y-You're Splendid?!"

"Ha!" Splendid yelled triumphantly as he gestured towards the comic book. "You have my comic book! I knew that you were a fan!"

"Actually, I borrowed —-

"Here," Splendid interrupted as he took the book out of Flippy's hand and pulled out a pen from seemingly nowhere, "I'll sign it for you!"

"But, it's not mi—

"Say," Splendid continued as he scribbled his name onto the book's filmy, plastic covering, "You said that you're not a hero—

"Well, I'm not…"

"But I see potential in you!" Splendid said loudly, clicking his pen closed and handing the now-signed comic book back to Fippy. "You could totally be my sidekick!"

"I'm not good with violenc—

"We should totally hang some time!" Splendid continued. He paused before he added in a serious voice: "Actually, I've heard rumors about some mentally unstable soldier guy living in this area. You should watch out."

Flippy paled at the statement, before he took a deep breath and said, "Well, I'm actually—

"It was nice meeting you, Mr. Flipy!" Splendid cheered, shaking the addressed man's hand. "However, I must be going now, because evil never sleeps — that and I have some episodes of Supernatural that I need to catch up on!"

"But I —-

Splendid shot towards the sky, a large sound wave ricocheting throughout the surrounding area at his take off. As he disappeared into the distance, the glass windows of the nearby shop buildings exploded outwards due to the force of the said wave.

Flippy ducked low and covered his ears, eyes wide, at the sudden explosion of sound. The comic book he had once held now lay splayed and glass-covered at his side on the ground.

It was at this moment that both Shifty and Lifty entered the area. They looked on in surprise at the glass littering the ground and then at Flippy who sat in a fetal position, face obscured, at the center of it all.

The two approached him wearing identical smirks: they had found an easy target.

Exchanging glances, they walked to his side and grinned when they saw the comic book laying at his side.

"Say, Lifty," Shifty drawled as he bent down to pick the book off of the ground; he held up it in the air with a wave, "I don't really get what happened here, but isn't this the comic we tried to steal from that nerd earlier today?"

"It must be fate!" Lifty exclaimed with a snicker. He hopped over to his elder sibling's side and peered down into the face of the man who they were stealing from. Once he registered the man's facial features, Lifty paled immediately. "S-Shifty…?"

"What is it, Lifty?"

Before Shifty could identify what Lifty was so frightened of, he found himself eye-to-eye with a handful of glass shards. The shards, guided by a firm hand, embedded themselves into his face.

Screaming bloody-murder blindly, Shifty reached out desperately for his brother. Much to his misfortune, Lifty was already gagging on the ground with numerous glass shards protruding from his neck.

Retching, Shifty collapsed onto the ground beside his brother in a large and bloody pool. He thrashed in place wildy as more and more blood spluttered from his face.

The last thing he saw were a pair of smiling golden eyes.

Fliqpy stood back and observed his handiwork with a less-than-sane smile stretched across his face.

Licking some of the blood of of his red-stained face, the man bent down low to pick up the red-dyed comic book that had been discarded on the floor. He eyed the figure posing on the cover and his grin grew—-

"Splendid, huh?"

- END -

A/N: Okay, so I am majorly obsessed with HTF right now. It's bad. I think I'm more obsessed with this than I was with FMA:B which is definitely saying something.

Anyways! The first one-shot is complete! Not sure when the next one will come but… In the end, they'll all somehow end up tying together and forming a gigantic plot... hopefully.

Feel free to make requests and prompts for one-shots and the like! Just remember to list the characters you want to have cameo in it!