AN: Yeah, here it is. I based my information on Necromancer on a book I read by Lish McBride called Hold me Closer, Necromancer, and that is what I'm going with.

Now, there will be crossovers with a lot of different things, and if I lose track of them, sorry.

This is an AU, and Naruto's parents have been changed, well, his Mom has, and Kushina will play a part in the story. Also, the Rookie Nine and Gai's Team are all thirteen and fourteen, while Naruto is eighteen.

"Speaking"
(Spell/Jutsu)
'Thought'

Terms:

Densho- The name for any creature that is not a natural part of Middle World.

Otonashi- The name for any Other World creature that has sentience and isn't adverse to humans.

Spoilers for Hold me closer, Necromancer, in here.

(Prologue)

Hi, my name is Naruto Uzumaki, and I'm one of the last living Necromancers in the world.

Now, I know that may sound bad, but in all honesty, it's pretty cool. I mean, yeah, I have to be the bridge of balance between the living and dead, but, hey, what's a bit of work inbetween the fun of making zombies dance?

Okay, so yeah, I do abuse these abilities a bit. Alright, way more than I really should, but thanks to them, the old man let me create DEAD, an organization that is supposed to have an acronym but doesn't. What we do is simple, and the people I chose to help me are all uniquely suited for it. Thanks to my 'gift', I've managed to assemble a cacophony of random people with skills suited to our job.

Our job is to research and investigate, and sometimes exterminate, any and all threats to the village of Konoha, and by extension the Land of Fire, that have to do with paranormal, unexplainable, or otherwise otherworldly phenomenon, as well as hunt down any Densho that decides to run amuck.

To put it like one of the members of my team said:

"Our job is to hunt the things that go bump in the night, and bump back."

(Chapter 1- DEAD and Buried)

Naruto Uzumaki sometimes hated his life. Most of the time he enjoyed it immensely, but sometimes he absolutely hated his life as a Necromancer. It was the little things, mostly, but they seemed to add up and give him a massive headache when they did.

So, as he was backing away from an enraged Dryad, he cursed himself for his connection to the Otherworld, as it was called. Seriously, what had he done to piss of the damn thing?! All he had done was calmly convince it to leave that particular part of the forest and move to another, different, safer part of the forest surrounding Konoha. This particular Dryad had been causing Konoha quite a bit of problems, as it had attacked several children who had come to play in the woods, and was generally being a douche.

It was bad enough that his partner for this particular task, assigned to DEAD by the Hokage no less, was currently reenacting a particular scene in the Evil Dead. Sighing, he gave himself a once over, just to ensure that nothing was wrong.

His black pants and shinobi sandals were fine, as was his long sleeved grey shirt, and the black short sleeved one that had a hood sewn onto it over that. His black glove covered hands we okay as well, while his pale skin showed no cuts. His shaggy grey hair was kept out of his eyes by a black headband with the Konoha Symbol on it. On his back was his trusty scythe, Beatrice, that looked remarkably like the one Dante had in Dante's Inferno.

Yeah, he was fine and badass.

But his partner wasn't.

A thump alerted Naruto to the guys release from the Dryad's grasp, and the guy stood, staggering a bit in a comical fashion as he did. His hair was a silvery-white and his eyes were a light purple. His upper body was covered in a black muscle shirt, while he had grey pinstripe pants and shinobi sandals. At his waist was a jug of water he used to keep himself hydrated, and on his back was the Executioner's Blade once wielded by Zabuza Momochi.

Before Mangetsu cut his head off.

"Naruto, dude, how do we kill this thing? No matter how many times I cut it, it just grows back! How do we kill this bitch?" The Hozuki asked as he steadied his blade. He may have been goofy and relaxed when off of missions, but when on them he was serious, professional.

The Necromancer simply tilted his head and smirked as he raised his hand which was covered by a magical seal. "With fire of course. (Spiraling Wave)!"

A pillar of fire that was swirling came tumbling forth from the seal, hitting the Dryad full force and causing it to burn fast.

The Dryad stood no chance.

In a matter of moments, it was reduced to ash. Mangetsu stared blankly for a few moments before rounding on the leader of DEAD, finger pointed in accusation. "You could have ended this at anytime, couldn't you?"

"Yeah? So?"

"WHY DIDN'T YOU?!" Mangestu yelled as he used a jutsu he had learned from a guy named Iruka, the (Big Headed Demon Jutsu) after trading him it for a sandwich.

Naruto simply shrugged and turned away, walking back to the village at a sedate pace, even as he pulled a small leather book from his pocket and read it. It was the condensed Book of the Dead, for use when he needed information on certain things in the field, and the original, locked in his office, couldn't be there. "Consider it a learning experience. besides, you were the one that pissed on the Dryad."

"It looked like a tree!"

"Dryads generally do, Mangetsu."

(Later- Back in the Village)

The Headquarters for DEAD was one of the most obvious, yet well hidden secrets in Konoha, considering the fact that it was fairly easy to get into. Hidden underneath Konoha's Waste Disposal Department, which didn't exist.

As Naruto and Mangetsu, who had dubbed their team 'The Sexy Bastards', entered into the main area of the base, Naruto took the time to examine the surroundings.

It looked more like a mansion than anything else, as the walls were beautifully decorated and there was a sense of western style to it. The walls had a gold colored wallpaper, and the baseboards were made of nice wood. The main entrance was connected to three main hallways, each one going to a different part of the underground complex.

The first, right hand wing went to the rooms, mess, and infirmary, the one directly ahead to his office, armory, and library, and the left hand wing went to the holding cells for the sentient creatures they capture, and also where they were currently trying to expand by opening the tunnels into the remnants of Orochimaru's underground bases here in Konoha.

The Hokage had been kind enough to allow them to use it, but he did say he wanted to meet with Naruto after the Dryad Incident, so the Necromancer had that to look forward to.

By the door waiting for them was a young woman with silvery-blue hair and purple eyes, wearing a warm smile on her face. She had on a long, light blue dress that had bits of white, that was like a maid uniform, that ended mid calf, with white stockings connected to a garter belt and black heels. "Welcome home, Young Master."

Mangetsu snorted and crossed his arms as he looked at her. "He's eighteen, Angela, he ain't young anymore."

Angela Blanc simply smiled serenely and ignored the, in her eyes, pest. "Young Master, there is an elderly man here to see you, he said something about a meeting."

Naruto nodded as he gestured for her to follow as he made his way to his office. Looking around, he noticed that a good portion of DEAD wasn't there. "Angela, where is everyone? I mean, we aren't exactly the biggest organization in Konoha, but really, there should be more."

The maid replied. "Most of them had assignments and left, but Mister Marston and Kyojin have been entertaining our guests."

"And by entertaining, you mean freaking them out by being a zombie and a Titan, right?" Mangetsu asked as he snickered. The best part of being a member of DEAD, in his opinion, was that Naruto could bring anyone, from anywhere, back from the dead. He had done so to several people, all of whom worked for the Paranormal Organization, and John Marston was one of them. The man was a hell of a gunfighter, and he wasn't bad company, when he wasn't rotting.

As for Kyojin, the man was the adoptive older brother of Mikasa Ackerman and Annie Leonhardt, two more recent recruits for DEAD from the badlands outside the borders of the Elemental Nations, places where only Necromancers had access to.

"Mangetsu you shouldn't be speaking like that about the two of them." Angela scolded as mildly as she could. It wasn't a secret that she disliked the Hozuki brothers. She made it very apparent.

Naruto turned and raised a single brow before speaking. "She's right Mangetsu."

The man just grumbled under his breath. "You're just saying that coz she's your favorite."

Entering his office, which was a rather comfortable place that had a small sitting area with two sofas, a coffee table, his desk on the other side with one half of the room built with shelves that held many, many scrolls and tomes too dangerous for the regular library, a pedestal that held Naruto's copy of the Book of the Dead, by his desk on another pedestal was a flask that had a black thing that had a giant eye in it, and finally his desk, covered in papers, reports, and scrolls, made of mahogany.

Mahogany. How he loved the wood and the word.

Standing slightly behind the couch were two of his field agents, both complete opposites of the other.

The first was a grey haired, tall young man that had a heavy build to him, wearing a tan muscle shirt, tucked into olive green military fatigues and black boots. His face was sharp and full, with little baby fat, and piercing golden eyes. He was Kyojin Shingeki.

Marston was looking every bit like a zombie wearing cowboy clothes, and his weapons were what he always used. (AN: I'm too lazy to describe him, so look up John Marston-Zombie on GOOGLE)

Turning his attention to the man sitting on one of his couches, Naruto sighed and sat down, Mangetsu and Angela taking up their positions behind him. Said Necromancer looked at the Third Hokage, his guest, with a mild interest as the Old Man simple sipped his tea with a smile.

"So, Lord Hokage, here for my report?"
Sarutobi Hiruzen was his direct superior. No one aside from him and any future Hokage could give him orders, and even then only the Third was capable of gaining his loyalty to such an extent. "Yes. I feel it would be best if I got a full verbal report from you and Mangetsu-kun before you give both verbal and written to the Council later."

Sighing, the leader of DEAD began. It was fairly simple. The Dryad had been causing problems along a relatively busy road by attacking merchants and generally making problems for everyone.

"I see." Mumbled Hiruzen as he sat back and nodded his head. "Very well then. I need a written report by the end of the day, and then we'll both go to the meeting."

"Lord Hokage, before you go, can you please tell me that we're going to be getting some kind of recruits from the Academy this year. Even if their green as grass, we need some kind of support." The Necromancer pleaded.

Hiruzen simply tilted his head as he thought on it. He supposed that having one or two Genin join DEAD would be fine, maybe even three, but for now he had other matters to see to. Such as the Council. "I'll see what I can do. But," The Hokage said as he saw Naruto begin to perk up. "To gain these new recruits, you must handle a small...matter that has come to my attention."

There was a catch. There's always a fucking catch! "And what would that be, Lord Hokage?"

"There have been reports of a Nekomata near the borders. I want you to investigate the possibility that this might be, and, if possible, capture and detain it for study. If not, then exterminate."

"Very well, Lord Hokage."

The old man body flickered away and Naruto collapsed inwardly. Even when cordial and to the point, meeting with a high class leader is always stressful, and he certainly didn't need any more stress than what he had. He needed a vacation. "Go on and get out. Do whatever, just don't blow the base up."

Everyone but Angela left, and the woman closed the door as Naruto moved back to his desk and sat down. She watched him for a moment as he attempted to organize his desktop for a moment, and a moment later when he had given it some semblance of order, before moving to him. He had been stressed lately, as the Hokage had been attempting to set up a Cultural Exchange program between the people and beings of the Otherworld and Konoha, with Naruto being the one who had to go an meet the actual members of the races, and the old man had been getting harder on the young man, sending him a near neverending stream of reports gathered by a spy by the name of 'Gama Sennin' from around the Elemental Nations.

Needless to say, in the words of Mangetsu, it sucked more dick than a five dime whore.

"You know, Naruto, you can take a break every once and a while. Let us handle things for a while." Angela said as she rounded the desk, before depositing herself into his lap. This was perhaps the longest she could be there with him, as she preferred to stay at DEAD HQ than in the field. She ran her fingers through his white hair and hummed softly as he leaned his head against her chest. It was warm and nice.

Naruto replied in a sleepy voice. "I wish I could. These missions have been murder. But someone has to do it. Might as well be me, huh?"

The woman just continued to rub his head. It was hard to be a Necromancer. It really was. Not only were they basically extinct, they also had millions upon millions of false information and some bad eggs that had-basically-turned the world against their own kind.

A knock on the door got their attention and Naruto sighed for the millionth time while Angela stood and straightened her skirt. No use in looking shabby in front of others.

When the door opened, it wasn't to the visage of one of the teams, but rather Mangetsu, and he walked in with a grin and a pep in his step. "Boss, guess who finally convinced the R&D Department of the Shinobi Forces to give us some computers?"

"You?" The young man asked in slight shock. It wasn't everyday that Mangetsu managed to do something that wasn't entirely stupid or pointless to their cause, even if said cause was started to increase the military power of the supposed 'greatest village'.

"No, Boss, it wasn't the dipshit. It was me. All I had to do was convince them that those old terminals weren't worth keeping." came the voice of Naruto's second in command, Kokuo Takagame. The man had black hair and green eyes, with a pointed goatee beard. He wore a black shirt under a red waistcoat, with a black sportcoat over that. He had relaxed looking dress pants and leather shoes on, all black as well.

Kokuo may not have been very strong, but he was certainly strong enough to hold his own against any A-Class Densho. He mostly worked as the liaison between Konoha, and humans in general, and the Otonashi Colonies that had begun to spring up a few years ago. He mostly worked by himself travelling the world and acting ambassador, and whenever he showed up in HQ meant something was going down.

"Really now?" The tone of voice Naruto used showed his sarcasm, as he had had a trying day. Fighting a Dryad that had lost it's mind, dealing with the increasing demands of Sarutobi, not to mention not getting his coffee and ramen brake, well, he was really irritable.

Kokuo nodded and gestured to Naruto's desk, where he kept his private stock of western whiskey and scotch, as well as some high-class sake. "Before we get down to brass tacks as to why I'm here, we might as well get the drinks ready."

Naruto winced. Kokuo was notorious for his being a connoisseur of alcoholic drinks. He wasn't a light weight. So when he said he had news that required heavy stuff, then it was either really good, or very, very, very bad.

Like when gnomes invaded Konoha, or when a pack of Deathclaws decided to make their home in the Forest of Death.

Come to think of it, they hadn't cleared those particular problems out yet. The Third said something about 'increasing the challenge for the shinobi of the village and providing Genin a way to make good money', whatever that meant. "That bad, huh?"

"No, actually. This is a toast. I may have managed to get you a few weeks of vacation." The Ambassador said. At the disbelieving look he got, he smirked and said. "However...to get it, you need to do a small favor for our favorite spirit..."

"...Ashley? What's she need? More fucking waffles?" Mangetsu asked as he lazed on a couch. It was a nice couch, perfect and overstuffed for comfort. The Boss had good taste in furnishings.

"Something about a baby Necromancer that had been subject to TWO bindings. The kid, not even four years older than you, has been captured by some other Necromancer named Douglas Montgomery. I would have asked Eu when she just got back, but she just waved me off and went to her room, probably to sleep. Poor Little girl. The 'last' of the female necromancers." Kokuo replied as he kicked Mangetsu off the couch and sat down, Naruto and Angela copying him on the other one, before knocking back an entire glass of scotch on one go.

A ghostly hand got their attention, and Ashley appeared, wearing her catholic schoolgirl clothes and all. "Listen, Uzumaki, the dude, Samhain LaCroix, needs help. As he is now, he's gonna die. Consider this a request for a favor."

In all honesty, he would have gone anyway, if only to to help another Necromancer. But he didn't tell Ashley that. Oh no, he was gonna milk this. "How much danger is he in?"

Ashley floated for a bit as she contemplated the answer. "June said to find him and find out, and I got some info from Kokuo, but he does need help."

Naruto sighed in an exaggerated manner as he stood and stretched his back muscles, pulling his hood up and grabbing his scythe. "Take me to this 'Samhain', and let me see the situation, and then we'll discuss my payment, aka Vacation."

Ashley grinned and opened a portal, before jumping in followed by Naruto after a wave goodbye to his compatriots. The portal itself was a mix of blues, greys, and blacks, swirling together in a kind of whirlpool. It looked pretty cool, and Magetsu stared at in childish wonder.

Soon after the two of them entering, the portal closed.

Mangetsu broke the rather awkward silence after a few moments, as the three of them had never been together alone without Naruto around. "I have the most awkward boner, now."
(With Naruto and Ashley)

They exited the portal in a basement.

That in and of itself was creepy, but it was the dark and twisted energy in the room, deeply ingrained in the very presence of the home it seemed, that put Naruto one edge. Coupled with the table with straps, and the massive bookshelf, and you've got yourself one hell of a Necromancer lair.

The Necromancer looked around and saw a large cage, with two occupants, both naked as they day they were born, a discarded pair of pants, boxers, and a batman shirt near.

Ashley cursed and the two stopped what they were doing, even as Ashley used her halo to light the room. The silence was awkward, even as Naruto simply leaned back and gazed at them.

It was finally broken by the guy, who Naruto assumed was this Samhain, speaking. "Ashley, when I asked you to get help, I assumed you would take some time. It's only been an hour."

The Harbinger crossed her arms and glared. "Really, Sam, do you want me to take back my helper monkey? He's the only one who can help you right now."

The girl looked at our hero of the tale and asked in a polite tone of voice. "And who may you be?"

She had obviously been raised to understand you catch more flies with honey, and a plus was he could free them from the cage. It was actually rather funny. "Naruto Uzumaki. Necromancer. And apparently someones 'helper monkey', a certain someone who will be working for me for quite a while." Ashley flinched at his words while the two older teens in the cage, who had introduced themselves as Brid and Samhain, looked on. "Now, can you two tell me just why you're in the kinky love cage?"

It took a little bit, but Naruto got the full story and had to admit, this Douglas guy was a fucking nut case. Who the hell cuts off a girls head and uses it as a message?! Not to mention resurrecting poor assholes to do their bidding?!

Choosing to ignore the hypocrisy in that statement, Naruto waited for the two to finish "...And then, here we are." Sam finished, feeling really good about getting all of that out of his system.

It was silent as the younger, yet more experienced, Necromancer pondered. "Sam, you either have the luck of a devil, or are a complete idiot. Maybe both." That statement brought everyone up short. "Seriously, what the fuck? In an angst filled anger and disappointment in your mother, you left and didn't stop to gather information? If you had gone and did that, you could have petitioned the Council and they could have intervened, thereby creating an investigation, and leading to Douglas's misdeeds being brought to light."

The black haired young man bristled. "Well excuse me for being emotionally shocked by the knowledge that my mother was scared of me! Didn't your mom feel that way?"
Naruto smiled cynically at that. "My 'mom' abandoned me when I was six and saw my first spirit. Saying something about a 'curse'. So no, Sam, I have no idea what it's like."

Ouch. That stung. At least his Mom still loved him. His left him to die. "S-Sorry, man, it's just-"

"Save it. Now step back. This is gonna be a bit difficult."

In all honesty it wasn't, but Naruto was a black humored person, so hey, why not let the lovebirds have their Kinky Love Cage a bit longer?

It was relatively simple to destroy the ruins on the cage, and when it was over, Sam and Brid both bolted out. It was comical in a way, and something he took great pleasure in.

But before anything could happen, a cold voice broke the reverie.

"And who might you be?"
AN: This is the start of the first Arc, titled 'Welcome to DEAD', and next chapter is the wrap up, and the beginning of the final half, which will take, just like this one, one and a half chapters to finish.

If anyone can name every piece of media that I used here, as well as the title and what kind, I will allow them to choose a personal story arc.

As always, have a pleasant evening, and taco Thursday.