Chapter 2, hope everyone enjoys. The carriers I was talking about in Chap 1 were troop transports, in case that wasn't clear.

Since I already put a disclaimer in the first chapter, I'm not going to do it again. I'm lazy, sue me.

And before anyone else leaves a stuffy review about how lame and un-original my story is, I would remind you it does have a humor tag. I'm just writing for the hell of it.

Many people agreed that Shanxi was a nice planet. Red sand beaches near the equator contrasted nicely with the almost turquoise sky. Near the poles, the red began to turn white as there were two near constant snowstorms capping both ends of the planet. Given the environment, most colonists didn't venture there. Many looked up at the sky when they saw a sudden flash of white as a nuclear device detonated high up in space.

The wash of radiation from the nuke caused a small but gorgeous aurora near the north pole. For anyone able to see it through the heavy snow clouds, it would have been a beautiful sight, even if they knew what it represented.

Just goes to show you that beauty is only skin-deep.

The colonies' administrator had already been briefed on the situation above the planet by the UNSC Maelstrom's AI, and she in turn sent a message to the Marine base to prepare for inbound aliens with unknown technology.

Above in space, the destroyer was already on the move.

UNSC Maelstrom

"Mine detonated, commander," Naruto said with a grin. "From the brief scan I got before we passed behind Shanxi, they don't look like they're moving any time soon."

McCall nodded, frowning. "Maybe, but I'm not chancing that. How long till we're back in range?"

"The rate we're going? Minute and a half."

The commander looked at the Maelstrom's AI with a raised eyebrow. "Can we shave that?"

"We're pushing the redline here with the reactors, commander. It's only thanks to that cooling system that the engine hasn't fried already. 'Sides, Shanxi isn't a small planet."

"Alright, play it as close as you can," he said. "This waiting is burning a hole in my hull."

"Let's hope that it doesn't literally. We need our hull."

Rolling his eyes, McCall turned back and sat in back in the captains chair, closing his eyes and folding his arms. "Naruto, Tchaikovsky's 1812 Overture, please."

"Aw, come on! Why the hell do you always have to listen to this old stuff? Scrape, scrape, screech, screech, never a tune you can dance to!" the AI complained, and McCall, not bothering to open his eyes, snorted.

"You planning on doing much dancing?"

"If it'll help put a grin on your ugly mug, I might!"

"I beg your pardon!?" he asked, glaring at the AI with annoyance.

"Well too bad, cause you can't have it!" Naruto replied.

Controlling himself with difficulty so he didn't start a shouting match, McCall closed his eyes and sat back. "This is one of the most highly decorated musical pieces in history, Naruto. Don't complain."

"Aye, sir," he said, pouting, while the first strings began to play. Then a smile stretched over his holographic face as he had a wicked idea.

McCall, his eyes still closed, was surprised to hear the sounds of muffled laughter coming from all around him. He opened his eyes and looked around.

Every single person on the bridge crew was turned away from him, and he could see shoulders shaking as some of them tried to stifle laughter.

"And what, exactly, is so funny?" he bit out.

"Nothing sir," Naruto said in a too-innocent tone of voice that immediately had alarm bells going off in McCall's head.

"What did you do?" he asked tiredly.

Turning around, the AI let a smug grin stretch over his face. "Well, take a look at yourself."

Blinking twice, McCall turned towards a nearby bulkhead, which was clear enough so that he could see his reflection. Over his face a holographic representation of a Guy Fawkes mask was being projected.

He shut his eyes and took a deep breath. "Naruto..."

"Oh, come on! Tell me that's not just a little bit funny?"

"No, now get rid of it."

"Meh, you're no fun. By the way, though, we're coming up on the enemy ships."

The commander's head swiveled around so fast the AI was worried he might get whiplash. "Open missile bay doors and charge up MACs."

"Already done, though I'm still wondering how we managed to fit that entire conversation into the space of a minute and a half."

"Mysteries of life," McCall answered shortly. "Prepare targeting solutions once we're in view. MAC's first, they'll help clear a path for the missiles. One shot each."

"Got it."

Asteroids bounced off the left side of the destroyer as it plowed towards the still stationary alien ships, the strings of Tchaikovsky's 1812 Overture coming towards the crescendo.

THS Palaven

General Arterius cursed wildly as his crewmen scampered around, trying to get their ship moving again. Cursing at his officers, his crew, his ship and basically everything. And at the same time, he was struggling with fear.

He'd been a fool. His forces were helpless, blind and damaged. The EMP from the nuclear device had knocked out power on the Palaven and, he was guessing, every other ship in what was left of the fleet.

And he could see from looking out the window that the ship had come back around.

"Get this ship moving, you useless fools!" he shouted.

"Sir, the blast has knocked out practically every system we have," Joran Pallis said calmly. "We've been trying to get everything back online, but that nuclear weapon has rendered us inoperative."

"Well, how long until everything is back online!?"

"Another five minutes, at least."

"That ship is bearing down on us, you incompetent-"

"I'm well aware of that, sir!" he said, finally losing his temper. "And at least I'm not blaming everyone else and actually trying to do something about it!"

Before the general could even begin to process the insubordinate act, a turian ran up. "Sir, we've managed to get our sensors up. The ship is bearing down on us, and it's power is increasing!"

His heart ran cold. The mysterious ship was getting ready to fire, and even if they could start moving, it could pursue them.

He'd led his forces to slaughter.

UNSC Maelstrom

On the destroyer, Commander McCall sat down in his chair and glared forward. "Take out the bigger ship lined up with the smaller one with the MACs and knock the lead ship out of commission with Archer salvos. Fire."

He waited for a few seconds, and when he didn't feel the tell-tale rumble of a MAC round firing, he looked over at Naruto. "Care to explain why you're waiting?"

Naruto merely grinned. "Wait and see. I promise you'll like this."

A few more seconds passed, McCall's fingers tapping on his arm, this time out of annoyance. Then, as he listened to the music still coming out of the speakers, he suddenly knew.

"Oh, don't tell me..."

"You know it'll be cool," Naruto said with a grin. "Firing."

The destroyer shook as the magnetic coils flashed with electricity, spitting out two 600 ton bullets that flashed across to the enemy ships, going through asteroids like they weren't even there. They struck the second cruiser head on and sheared right through it, only to hit the frigate right behind it and destroy it as well. On the Maelstrom, the Archer pod bay doors had opened and dozens of missiles began to pour out of the ship, heading towards the enemy fleet.

Tchaikovsky's 1812 Overture hit the crescendo just as the Archer salvo hit the ships, the shaped fusion charges exploding in time with the cannon fire from the music.

McCall sighed. Naruto was such a drama queen.

The space around the last cruiser was suddenly very empty. "Five Archer missiles is all it'll take to knock that ship outta the fight," Naruto said.

"Do it."

Five more missiles launched from the destroyer and, after a few seconds, struck the cruiser in several key locations, crippling it.

The crew of the destroyer cheered. Years before, it could have taken dozens of UNSC ships to destroy even one of the Covenant's. Now, it seemed it would be the opposite.

"Course correct, 270 by 090," McCall said, the only one on the bridge not smiling. He sat into his chair and typed into his pad. We're not done yet.

Naruto blinked. Why are we typing?

Let the crew have a bit longer to celebrate. What are our options with the three remaining ships?

Two have descended into Shanxi's atmosphere, probably to drop off troops. The last one is still in space. Given the dimensions they have, I'd reckon about three thousand troops per ship, if they're packed in tight enough.

How many do we have on the ground?

Two hundred, three if there are volunteers.

Ordnance?

Few hundred assault rifles, battle rifles, DMRs, Magnums and a few SAWs and Railguns. Thirty Mongooses (Here McCall noticed Naruto's snort), twenty Warthogs of various types and three Scorpions.

Who's in command?

Colonel Amelia Clarkson.

Get on the horn with her and coordinate where we should drop Marines and ODSTs. Can we hit the ships from here?

Risky, since their impact on the planet's surface could injure civilians in the colony who are still evacuating. Sides, I doubt we'll need to.

Explain.

There's a prototype Wet Navy warship out on the ocean which turned around as soon as we notified the colonies administrator. It was out on exercises, but it looks like it'll have to do some of them in real combat.

What's so special about it?

Functions as both a support/combat vessel, with aircraft hangers with 15 F-101 Unmanned Combat Aerial Vehicles and two Pelicans. Besides that, it's testing laser and pulse turrets and has three prototype MACs on board, codenamed Trebuchets for heavy hitting power. These are upgrades of the older Onagers that were in service during the Human-Covenant War. The coolest thing though, is the cloaking and shielding systems that make it hard to hit and hard to destroy. Pretty awesome, huh?

"Hn..." the commander grunted, speaking (sort of) out loud for the first time in a while.

Naruto blinked and looked over at the man. "Geez, you're not gonna turn out like Sasuke, are you? Damn, was that guy a grouch."

"You know I'm not a fictional character, right?"

"True, true... or are you?"

Rubbing the bridge of his nose, McCall huffed. "Regardless, we still have a colony to defend. Prepare to launch Pelicans and drop pods and put General Clarkson on-screen."

"Connecting..."

He waited for a few seconds, then a stern-faced woman appeared on the screen. "Commander McCall."

"Colonel Clarkson, good to hear from you."

"Pity I can't say the same thing. You just brought news of an impending invasion, which makes it my job to sort all of this out."

A blink was the only sign of McCall's surprise at the slightly accusing tone, though others on his crew did a far worse job of hiding their own reactions.

"Of course," the Commander said. "We're waiting on your signal to launch ODST's. In this case, I think your knowledge far exceeds mine, therefore I defer to your judgment."

"How kind," she said, the sarcastic tone barely audible. Out of the corner of his eye, McCall noticed that Naruto visibly bristled, a few lines of code centered around his eyes flashing red for a millisecond.

"Coordinate with the Maelstrom. I hope to hear good news when we speak next."

Giving a stiff nod, the Colonel clicked off the connection, leaving the crew of the destroyer to their duties.

"Geez, what a tight-ass."

"Naruto..."

"What? I'm just saying, do you think she could have been less snippy during the conversation?"

"You are honestly the last person in the galaxy who should talk about being snippy."

The AI raised an artificial eyebrow. "Doesn't mean I can't recognize when other people need to get over themselves. I mean, come on!"

"Regardless," McCall said with a great deal of patience, "- we still have things to do. Prepare to bring'er about."