Sorry about this, i was in a rage against Twilight and came up with this while I was venting. I don't own Twilight(don't want to) or Harry Potter (I wish).

One day Voldemort was walking through muggle London looking for someone to torture, when he came across a man that looked suspiciously like Cedric Diggory. Who was suppose to be dead.

"O bother, not another boy-who-won't-shut-up-and-die.' thought the dark lord in exasperation. One 'chosen one' was enough for him, thank you very much. So he approached intending to get rid of a potential headache.

"Stay away I am a monster without a soul and could easily kill you." moped Cedric. He was depressed because Bella had moved on to find her true soul-mate in Seth Clearwater after he imprinted on her. He was now going to kill himself out of self-pity.

"Ha, don't make me laugh boy. How could you possibly hurt me? I am the all might dark lord Voldemort and most feared wizard in the whole world!" How he loved to boast about his awesomeness. There was nothing this pretty boy wuss could do to him.

"Don't be fooled, this is the skin of a killer!" At that he ripped his shirt off and stepped into a beam of sunlight that randomly appeared out of nowhere n the middle of the night. The was when fate sent events in motion.

He SPARKLED for Merlin's sake. The pansy thought murders sparkled like little pixies. The dark lord didn't know weather to laugh or be insulted by this information. So instead he decided to ride the world of this nuance as his one good deed for the millennium. With a few choice words and the flick of his wrist all that was left of the annoying sparklepire was a pile of glitter. He then which incinerated, hey no kill like over kill they say.

Our hero then head home to crucio a few mudbloods before bed and brush his teeth like normal. In the morning he awoke to find a huge crowd of cheering witches and wizards outside his front door. To say this was weird was an understatement.

It turns out that the ministry had been after 'Edward' for quite some time and hadn't been able to catch him, he had been terrorizing teenage girls both muggle and magical for years and killing their brains. Voldemort was now a bigger hero than even Harry Potter.

In an unanimous vote it was decided that the dark lord was now king of the whole world. Even Harry agreed because he had almost lost Luna to him and was so grateful. The only one who didn't was one Albus Dumbledore. Apparently he had created Edward using the darkest of magics and was using him in a twisted plot to take over the universe himself and make everyone wear beards. he was given the dementor's kiss and never heard from again. All was right in the world because of one small deed.