So this is the final chapter to this story. It has one song in it. Again I do not own the song or any of the characters.
Thanks so much to anyone who has followed, favorited or reviewed this story. It being my first fanfiction attempt, I really appreciate it! So without further ado...here is the end! Hope you enjoy!
Again REveiws very appreciated! ;)
Even though Sam had made up his mind and therefore felt somewhat better it didn't help him one bit with controlling his nerves and the resulting jumpiness from said nerves. This unfortunately was something that Kurt, Carole and Burt did not fail to pick up on. (Sam had moved into the Hummel-Hudson household when Finn had convinced him to come back to Lima). While Finn of was luckily to preoccupied with the latest Rachel drama to notice anything amiss, this did not hold true for the others. Thankfully the adults voiced their concerns and once reassured let Sam's behavior slide; this was not so true for the last of Sam's house mates, Kurt.
Kurt had the tenacity of a terrier with a particular juicy bone and because of this Sam found himself alternating between misdirection and ignoring Kurt's pointed questions for the first half of the evening meal, and finally fleeing to the relative safety of his and Finn's shared bedroom for the second half. If this was the line of inquisition Blaine had been dodging all week no wonder he's not sleeping, Sam thought grumpily.
However, if the nerves Sam was experiencing last night were bad they didn't even register in comparison to the nerves he was feeling at the moment. The moment of course was Sam sitting in the choir room during Glee practice waiting for Rachel to finish one of her monotonous if predictable speeches so that Sam could put his plan in action.
After several snide comments from Santana (the two groups where doing the odd rehearsal together again), and one confused nonsensical question from Brittany "I didn't know you were a hobbit Rachel, why are you here? Won't the other hobbits be mad that you left the magical mushroom stump?" Rachel finally relented and sat down.
Sam could see Mr. Shue starting to stand up and make his way to the white board. Now or never Sam! He told himself trying to find it in himself "Courage" Sam reminded himself.
"Um…Mr. Shue?" Sam asked standing up (apparently he actually more shouted this then asked , which would go a long way as to explaining his fellow gleeks facial expressions at the moment).
"Yes Sam?" Mr. Shue looked up surprised; Sam almost never spoke up in glee.
"I-I was wondering if I could sing a song I have been practicing?" Sam asked, suddenly feeling self conscious as a blush was spreading across his face. What if Blaine didn't like it? What if he crossed the line and ruined everything? Crap! This was a stupid idea. But before he could go into complete panic mode he happened to glance at Blaine. Blaine who was trying very hard to look disinterested, but Sam swore he caught a ghost of a smile on the boys face before the now familiar defensive mask was back in place. Yes he could do this.
"Of course Sam, the floor is yours!" Mr. Shue said enthusiastically.
Sam cleared his throat nervously "So I wanted to sing this song for the only person that I've ever truly loved. I made a lot of mistakes, some which I cannot fix. I know that I don't deserve forgiveness but I just wanted to sing something that gives a voice to how I'm feeling" Sam explained to the group in general but kept his eyes locked on Blaine. The other boy to his credit refused to look away, or look uncomfortably, returning the stare as if there was no one else in the room but him and Sam.
Sam picked up his guitar and began to sing, his voice steady and sweet, honest.
'Forgive me- Marher Zain' (Sam)
I'm about to lose the battle and cross the line Forgive me… My heart is so full of regret Am I out of my mind? Forgive me… My heart is so full of regret
I'm about to make another mistake
And even though I try to stay away
Everything around me keeps dragging me in
I can't help thinking to myself
What if my time would end today, today, today?
Can I guarantee that I will get another chance
Before it's too late, too late, too late
Forgive me… Now is the right time for me to repent, repent, repent..
What did I do? Oh, I feel so bad!
And every time I try to start all over again
My shame comes back to haunt me
I'm trying hard to walk away
But temptation is surrounding me, surrounding me
I wish that I could find the strength to change my life
Before it's too late, too late, too late
Forgive me… My heart is so full of regret
Forgive me… Now is the right time for me to repent, repent, repent..
Forgive me… Now is the right time for me to repent, repent, repent..
He looked at Blaine and said softly "I'm trying B, don't give up on me"
Blaine looked down at his lap fiddling with something before standing up and walking over to Sam. "I haven't" he replied pressing a piece of paper in Sam's hand and giving him a quick smile before turning and exiting the room (something that had become something of a reoccurring action as of late).
Sam ignored the clamoring questions of his friends and grabbed his own bag making his own hasty departure. Only when he had gotten outside to a space big enough that he felt that he could breathe in did Sam let the hope that he had been trying to stifle for the past week take over. This sudden feeling of elation made him want to pump his fist in the air while jumping up and down. Instead he settled on unfolding the piece of paper he was still clutching. He quickly unfolded it and read…
Samuel
You mentioned coffee? And conversation?
Coffee at perks. 6pm
-B
Sam couldn't help but feel a joyous smile escape from him. He would get to explain. No not everything was fixed but Sam began to think that maybe, just maybe it could be.
SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Sam walked into the crowded coffee shop at a quarter to six. He took out his cell to check the time, it had been incessantly buzzing ever since leaving glee practice earlier that day. 9 missed messages. All from glee members. The messages varied but all had one common underlying theme…Sam and Blaine.
QUINN: What the hell was that? You only ever loved ONE person? Why did you sing that ? Why were you looking at Blaine? I thought you didn't even know him. What the hell Sam?
KURT: Okay stop ignoring me. I KNEW something was up. Sam you have to come home eventually
MERCEDES: Hell no!
ARTIE: So not to be nosey but ?
BRIT: I knew you were also a unicorn Sammy
SATAN: Epic Trouty! Ha ha you are soo dead. Quinn is looking for blood. Sucker
PUCK: What the fuck?
FINN: Do you and Blaine know each other bro?
RACHEL: Well if I can't turn him straight, I will support you turning gay for him…can I get the rights to the story. It would make for excellent song writing material.
Sam sighed and shut off his phone. He'd deal with them later. He doubted this latest scandal would even last a week before the next 'drama' took over the club. That was one positive to singing with a bunch of divas.
He scanned the bustling coffee shop spotting Blaine seated near a window sipping from a coffee cup, another cup sitting in front of him. Sam weaved his way over, dodging a harried mother and her stroller. When he finally arrived at the table he cleared his throat, "hey".
Blaine looked up and smiled softly, "Hello Samuel, pull up a chair…uh I got you a soy latte. I'm not sure if that's still your drink or not" he gestured to the second cup in front of him.
"Yeah that's still my favorite, thanks" Sam said sitting down, taking in Blaine's appearance as he did so.
It was true he definitely looked worn down, there were slight shadows under his wide gold eyes, his hair was not gelled down resembling more the style he had worn when Sam knew him in the past. He smiled hesitantly at Sam "Did you mean those words Samuel?" he asked quietly.
Sam looked him in the eyes, trying to make the boy across from him feel the sincerity of his next words, "every single one of them B, every single one".
"I-I think I'm ready to hear the rest of your story, if-if you still want to tell it" Blaine replied.
Over the next two hours Sam talked and Blaine listened. Sam explained the fight between him and his father after leaving Blaine's apartment that fateful afternoon. He talked about his fear and rationalization for his behavior back then. He explained his hasty departure from the dance, His families move to California, his confusion and subsequent cutting of ties to his old life.
He described how his father's job had turned out to be a hoax, and how his father had sent him and his siblings back to Ohio for a short time to live with a family friend. He talked about how they had once again been uprooted and made to move, this time to Kentucky only to find out that his father had become involved with a cult like church group to which he had given the remaining of their family's savings. He spoke of how he emancipated himself rather than join his family and live on the church compound. He laughed at the irony of finding himself alone, penniless and how he had eventually taken a job as a male stripper. Smiling at Blaine's amusement at his chosen profession and Blaine's quip "I really did corrupt you." He finished his story with Finn and Rachel coming to find him and convincing him to return to Lima, giving him a place to live and a chance to finish high school.
When he finished his story Blaine hugged him, they talked awhile longer and agreed to try and be friends. Both boys were secretly thrilled to be back in each other's lives.
The subsequent months they're renewed friendship grew. They began to trust each other again. They spent hours talking, hanging out and goofing around. They settled on telling everyone else that they had known each other back at Blaine's old high school and had had a misunderstanding but they had worked it out. Blaine slowly got over the betrayal, Sam slowly stopped being afraid of what others might think. And like Sam had predicted the others eventually got bored and moved onto the next scandal.
So on a quiet evening several months later Sam found himself sitting next to Blaine watching The Avengers, yet AGAIN.
"You want to play halo?" Blaine was asking as the credits rolled across the screen.
"You brave enough to face me?" Sam asked grinning in challenge.
"Oh I think I'll find the courage" Blaine cracked back.
There. There was that word again. Courage. The word that had played such a huge part in Sam's life. He smiled at the thought.
"What? What is it Samuel?" Blaine asked concern in his voice at his friends spaced out expression.
Sam smiled at Blaine, "I-It's just that word. Courage. It just made me think."
Blaine grinned relieved, "Oh, totally understand, It's my favorite word actually" he replied.
"I know" Sam said "you don't remember do you?"
"Remember?" Blaine asked looking confused
"You mentioned the word the first time we met" Sam said softly thinking back to that moment. The moment that had ended up having a much bigger effect on his life then he could ever had anticipated.
(2 years ago- STRIP CLUB)
Sam was surprised at how relaxed he felt given he was sitting in front of a very gorgeous boy, a boy who he had not even ten minutes ago asked not to give him a lap dance.
Instead they were engaged in probably the most interesting conversation Sam had had since starting his fresh men year a WHC. They were discussing Iron man vs. Captain America of all topics. Finally Sam worked up the nerve to ask the boy the question he's been wondering since seeing him dance on the stage.
'How do you do it?" Sam blurted out.
"Do what" the boy had asked looking curious
" how do you dance in front of all those people? Knowing they are judging you?" he asked worried that he'd offended the smaller boy.
The boy looked thoughtful and took his time answering before he said one simple word that would stick with Sam for years, "Courage."
(PRESENT)
Blaine laughed. "I totally forgot about that part of the conversation. Actually I have trouble remembering much from that encounter. I was so nervous. You were so different from the usual customers. You were gorgeous, but more than that you were sweet, innocent" Blaine chuckled "I think I probably had a crush on you."
"Seriously? I thought you were the most beautiful person I had ever seen….still do" Sam added quietly blushing.
Blaine blushed in return and looked suddenly nervous. "Samuel?" he asked.
"Yeah?" Sam replied curious to see where this was going.
"I-I umm, I w-would like to , to try and be more then friends again, I-If you still want that, I mean" Blaine said stuttering a little.
A blinding smile shone from Sam as he gently turned Blaine's face toward him, tipping his chin up so their eyes met. "Yeah. Yeah I still do" before leaning in and kissing Blaine softly.
Sam felt like fireworks were exploding as he kissed the boy he loved.
"I love you" he said softly against Blaine's lips.
Blaine pulled back, a glorious smile on his lips, "I love you too Samuel".
Courage. Such a simple word. A word that had changed Sam, that had changed them. A word that would continue to do so.
THE END