This story is inspired by the "Ex-Men" skits from the Pete Holmes Show. It involved Professor X evaluating different X-Men and letting them go them.

I'm doing the same for Robin and the Shepards. I'm not gonna promise that they all will make sense, or that they will all be funny, or that they will all be good, or that they will be consistent (As I get to the end of the list, I may say that some people are worse than people who have already been fired, so this is all isolated). I do promise that I will do them all. In an order.

Alright. Let's start with Lissa!

Robin sat behind his desk in his office, a bored expression on his face. Across from him sat Lissa, who was politely smiling at him. They sat in silence for a few minutes until Robin broke the ice.

"How are you sitting down?" He asked.

"What?" Lissa asked, surprised.

"Your dress is this weird, metal, puffy...thing. There's no way for you to sit your butt down on the chair without moving the entire case." Robin said. he looked down at the dress. "Is the chair...under all of that?"

"No!" Lissa replied, slightly annoyed. "I moved the chair. I'm sitting on a stool."

"Ah. That makes sense." Rodin said. "By which I mean it makes no sense at all! I understand if you needed to wear it for combat! You probably have to hold up some royal stature on the battlefield, and not all of us can have our capes blow heroically in the wind like Chrom. God knows Cynthia's tried." He muttered. "This isn't combat! You can wear something normal!"

"But I'm a Shepherd!" Lissa retorted. "I need to be ready for battle whenever it happens! Why are you so caught up about this? Is this why you called me down?"

"Good point." Robin commented. "Let's get down to business. You're fired."

"...WHAT?!" Lissa shouted. "Why?!"

"Because you're useless in battle!" Robin said.

"I heal people!" Lissa said.

"You know who else can heal people? A bunch of other people, who are also able to kick insane amounts of ass! Anna! Rickon! Stupid, sexy Libra…" Robin muttered to himself.

"W-Well, I could become a War Cleric!" Lissa said.

"Right. With your striking force, I'm sure the enemy will be cowering with fear. A leaf blown in the wind could do more damage than you!" Robin said. "I want soldiers who can hold their own, not people who spend so much time with bodyguards they end up marrying them." He paused. "Congrat to you and Frederick, by the way."

"..." Lissa glared at him.

"Also, you're royalty. Your older sister is dead...ish. I don't think she's fit to rule the way she is now. Chrom is pretty badass, but if he fell in battle, you would be the only one left to be Exalt. I'm thinking responsibly here." Robin said.

"But I wanna be a Shepard!" Lissa exclaimed.

"You were a Shepherd. And you helped kill a demon-dragon-god...thing." Robin said. "So that's a good place to end things, I'd say."

"But...But…" Lissa stuttered, but Robin had already begun to wake her off.

"Alright, bye now." He muttered, looking at a folder. "Leave before I melt you with my fire magic. You could probably heal yourself it that happened. Actually you can't, which is also pretty annoying." A pastry hit Robin's head as Lissa stormed out the door.

Robin held the frosted cake in his hand.

"You gonna finish that?"

"NAGA!" Robin yelped in surprise. He dropped the cupcake. Gaius picked it up and ran out of the room.

"...Dick."

Ok. That's one down. A lot more to go.

I actually like Lissa in the game. She's helpful in the earlier missions, but I kinda switched out the earlier healers got the combat healers. At least I like her as a person. Wait till we get to Maribelle, that'll be fun.

Up next: Frederick!