I'm back.. and here is a new chapter :) Holidays are coming up in exactly 2 days so ill be able to update a lot more… I watched divergent just the other day and holy shit it is amazing! If you guys like the hunger games you will DEFIANTLY like divergent! Im going to buy the books tomorrow and read them anyway… after that little fangirl… happy reading and please leave a review :)
CH52 – Is This What Happiness Is?
Katniss POV
I darted away from Peeta. My feet stumbling along the tiled floor, the tall heels catch in one of the cracks and I slip back onto my ass.
"Fucking hell, Johanna!" I hiss, pulling off the ridiculous shoes and pushing myself back up as Peeta offers his hand to help "could you not scare the shit out of me like that!" I murmur angrily, brushing the dirt off the store's dress.
"Could you not scare the shit out of me like that?! What the fuck is this?!" Johanna screeches as she waves her arms at Peeta and me uncontrollably like a flag in the wind. I realise that she just caught me and Peeta making out in the middle of the change rooms and become incredibly self-conscious, fiddling with me thumb nail. I clear my throat and look down to the ground where the high heels now perch.
"Umm…" I say, looking up to Peeta for a way to get around this, he stands there watching for my reaction "Peeta's my boyfriend" I say in the tone you use when you didn't tell someone, something important. Johanna gawks at me as I stand their shifting my weight uncomfortably. Peeta winds his around my waist and pulls him into his side, his warmth giving me a sense of security. I look up and give him a weak smile that fades as I look back to Johanna's face. She's probably mad I didn't tell her or pissed that she had to find out this way.
"Oh my fucking gosh! This is so good! Finally little baby Peet has a girlfriend!" Johanna shrieks. She lunges at us and wraps the 2 of us in a restricting hug. I stand awkwardly, with my arms squeezed at my side. I thought she would be mad, pissed, annoyed at least but no. She is happy, excited even. I look up to Peeta, his smile covering his face entirely. Maybe keeping our relationship a secret isn't the right choice, maybe telling everyone might be better.
Johanna pulls back from the hug and holds, both me and Peeta at arm's length; her right arm on his shoulder and her left on mine.
"Why wasn't I told about this little thing? I mean I know that you two have had the hots for each other for a while but I mean the whole boyfriend, girlfriend part is new news" Johanna says in her usual bashful tone. I roll my eyes at her and shrug her arm from my shoulder, moving closer into Peeta instinctively.
"Because we kept it quiet" Peeta says, smiling down at me with adoration, I blush under his gaze and look back at Johanna who is smirking at the two of us.
"Well is it still going to be quiet?" Johanna asks, placing her hand on her hip and studying us expectantly.
"No" I say quickly before Peeta states anything else "no, we are going to tell everyone" I say, ignoring the feeling of Peeta's eyes boring into the side of my head. Johanna beams at us with a happy smile before nodding her head.
"Good" she voices before walking back out into the store, leaving me and Peeta standing there. I don't make a move to turn and face him, scared that he will be mad that I just said we will tell everyone about our relationship. What if he doesn't want everyone to know? I just went and declared that we are going to tell everyone without even consulting Peeta.
"We are telling everyone?" Peeta queries, moving to stand in front of me so he can see my face. I advert my eyes from him and glance down at the fabric of my dress instead.
"Only if you want" I mumble, feeling bad for not asking him about it first.
"Yes" he proclaims happily "lets tell everyone! I want all the guys to know that your mine" he says protectively. He steps closer to me and nuzzles his head into my shoulder as he plants quick, frantic kisses along my neck. I laugh as I rest my head on his shoulder and wrap my arms around his back.
Time lapse
I wait anxiously for their reactions. Watching as they all process what we just told them. I blanket Peeta's waist with my arm tightly, grabbing hold of him as if he were an anchor, holding me in place. They sit there and the silence circles us, I want them to say something; anything! I clear my throat deliberately, gaining their attention and urging them to speak.
"This is fucking marvellous!" Finnick exclaims, bursting the bubble of silence we had been so wrapped in. I sigh; relieved that at least Finnick's response was positive "I never thought he would actually make a move!" he continues excitedly which I roll my eyes to.
"he has made a few moves" I say humorously, feeling more at ease as Peeta moves behind me, wrapping his arms around my stomach. I look to Annie next, willing her to say something to indicate her opinion on our relationship.
"You know we predicted this before we even came here, Katniss!" she says giddily, running up and hugging me, Peeta unwind his arms from my stomach as I launch out and hug her back "remember, at your house the night before we left? I said you were going to get with baker boy, here" Annie says, nudging Peeta with her elbow eagerly. I laugh and Peeta raises his eyebrows at me with a smug look on his face.
"Oh get over yourself" I say, shoving him playfully, he dives back and puts me in a headlock. I squirm in his grip as I laugh loudly. I feel so free, free of worry, free of hesitance, free of everything. I feel like I can just have fun and live and it makes me think… is this what it is like to be truly happy? Is this how I want to spend the rest of my life? But then something clicks in my mind, like a missing puzzle pieces getting found. Gale. I freeze and I think Peeta can sense it because he unwraps his arm from around my neck and I spring up. My eyes span out over the couches until they connect with Gale's. He is still sitting in his spot leaning forward, elbows resting on his knees, whereas everyone else is hovering around me and Peeta. I give him a weak smile. With the hope that he will be happy for me, respect my decisions and make the choice to move on, I approach him.
"Gale" I say softly as I plant myself beside him on the couch. Everyone else falls quiet, watching the interaction between me and my use-to-be-best-friend. I want us to go back to the way we were… best friends who would do anything for each-other. If I can get Gale back, it would be like the piece in the puzzle that was missing would finally be put back to create the final picture. The picture of a happy family.
"I'm happy for you Katniss" he says but I can't tell if it is sincere or not. He takes a deep breath and leans back into the couch as I watch him closely "I really am, I'm happy that the girl I love is happy" he says and I feel a pang in my heart as the words leave his lips.
"I'm not happy yet" I tell him truthfully, because I'm not. I need Gale to be happy. He is a part of my family and without him, I will never truly be happy. He looks up at me with pleading eyes.
"Katniss don't do this again. Please. For me. Don't get talking about how you love me but you're not in love with me. I don't think I can go through that whole discussion again" he pleads and yet again I feel a pain swell in my heart.
"Gale, I need you to be happy. Could you imagine me taking away Rory from you? That's what it feels like right now, that's how I feel without you. Please… please just… be my best friend again" I plead quietly. I see his eyes cringe with pain, from what I'm not sure "please, Gale… please" I push but he remains quiet.
He looks up to me and gives me a weak smile, one that is evidently forced onto his lips and I can't help but feel hurt from how much effort he has to put in just to smile for me.
"Katniss, you know I could never stop being your best friend" he says and all the feeling of hurt vanishing. I jump forward and engulf him with a hug as tears brim in my eyes. I finally have him back, my best friend. The way I hurt him might have been unintentional but it doesn't mean that I don't feel guilty about it. This is a start though. A start to his forgiveness. I sigh in his arms.
"thankyou, Gale… thankyou so much" I whisper into his ears before pulling back and giving him a smile, tears streaming over the corners of my lips.