Just a little update . I haven't touched this story in two years and now I've finished college i realise how immature it seems so I'm just going through improving and expanding bits

Welcome to my life

Bella POV

"I'm sorry; you'll have to try elsewhere."

I sighed it wasn't unusual in fact it was the same old story; I guess I couldn't blame them. Who would want to hire a young girl with dirt in her hair and no residential address? But this has been my life for the last three years and with winter coming if I didn't do something about it soon, it was about to get a whole lot worse.

Winter was coming fast

The dark nights were closing in and the weather 'Brrr' it was almost becoming unbearable. The newspapers I often glanced at being sold on the streets mentioned a snowstorm setting in; it was going to be one of the worst winters Seattle had experienced in years, worse than the other two years I had been stuck out here for.

At school I was a straight A student and I honestly believe if I hadn't had to drop out I could've probably graduated valedictorian, but I wouldn't regret my reasons for leaving, any other options would have been unthinkable. I suppose I should explain myself my name is Isabella Marie Swan but I like to go by Bella, Isabella is linked to bad memories, memories I have no desire of retrieving, and I am 20 years old. That's correct at the grand age of twenty I am homeless living on the streets of Seattle with little to no belongings to my name.

Just as I was walking out of the doors of the latest café a cheerful "Have a nice day," was shouted back to me. Fuck them I thought. After many countless tries of interviewing for a job, I was used to it ,as soon as it was time to say my address and I couldn't fill it in it was " Oh , I'm sorry but that's not suitable" and a get the fuck out of my door.

Making my way back to the latest ally I had found I couldn't help but think about how I ended up like this. I mean don't get me wrong it was always my dream to attend Dartmouth and do journalism so I could live my dream of working for one of the lead newspapers here in Seattle. Unfortunately I was here under different circumstances. Sometimes I do place the blame all on my mother as bad as it sounds she was hair brained and childlike but she did love me in her own way, well that's what I thought. She separated from my father due to their conflicting personalities when I was five and as much as I screamed that I wanted to stay with my father in Washington he believed a little girl needed her mother more and so I was taken to Florida. Secretly I believe he just didn't know what to do with a daughter. When we still lived there he spent all his time at work making his way up to the police chief and so he wasn't prepared to be the sole carer for a young child.

Renee was in and out of relationships my whole life, some lasted years some not even hours, she was flighty like that. That was until she married a major league baseball player of the name Phil Dwyer. She used his money to her advantage splashing out on booze and drugs and not even turning a hair when Phil would treat me like his human punch bag. She never even retaliated when he would come into my room at night. In Fact she would just stand there smiling so hung up on alcohol and drugs like she was getting some sick joy from it.

At the age of fifteen I had had enough so one night when Renee and Phil were on one of their booze crawls I searched the house for my dad's number and phoned him to see if I could go live with him. He was overjoyed, for years he had regretted how little input he had in my life and he saw this as a do over. I believed everything would be better and for a while it was. I enrolled into the local Forks High School and they noticed my academic achievements placing me in advanced classes and weekends were spent with my dad at the reservation. This is where I met my boyfriend Jacob Black. My clumsiness had come into play as I walked into his car door as he was opening it. His dad was Billy Black and my dad's best friend and they would come round to watch baseball on our fifty inch television. It was only the next logical step when me and Jake started dating and I thought I couldn't do better Jake called me his princess and I really thought he was my prince come to save me. Those first Two years in Forks were perfect but as I have come to learn perfect doesn't last forever.

It all changed one rainy night at a party down a La Push where Jake lived. He found his greatest love. Alcohol. Jake didn't take drunk well and he liked to show it verbally and physically it was like being in Florida all over again but worse. Jake liked to involve the rest of his 'pack' which was more like a gang into my torture. I got used to being punished for the most mundane things; I even had a plate smashed over my head for spending the weekend fishing with my dad instead of being with Jake and cooking his food. This lasted for five months then after constantly waking up sick for two weeks I knew I was pregnant, call it a mothers instinct, I just knew I had to get out of there. Not wanting to subject my child to the same abuse I had, even if it wasn't a child convinced out of love. No child deserved that.

So that's what I did without even leaving my dad a note because I believed he wouldn't believe me, Billy was his best friend and Jake and me being together was his dream. I packed a few belongings consisting of clothes a picture of my dad and a bag of food then just after 2am I was off into the big wide world. And now here I am wondering back to the bins behind Starbucks afraid of how to tell my three year old daughter I had failed to get a job to afford a proper life for her again.

Sitting down softly next to my sleeping daughter I checked she was ok gently pushing back her long black hair. She was freezing her lips and extremities blue. I felt bad for leaving her here by herself but at the time being this was the best place for her. The space was pretty well hidden and not far off the high street with its bright glowing yellow lights and was by far the safest place we had stayed in our lives on the streets.

Sensing someone was near she stired, blinking her eyes softly her eyes adjusting to the bright lights. My little angel. My Ava Margot Swan. She was everything to me and I was just about to break her heart again. "Sorry baby"

I apologised with a whisper before she could even ask. I just sat there watching as her chocolate brown eyes filled with tears streaking down her dirty heart shaped face. "Tis ok." She mumbled and turned away from me wrapping herself in the few blankets we had. Just as I was cursing life the weather decided to curse us the first snowflakes of the season began to fall. I only pray we can make it through one more winter.