Jily AU Week Day 7: Doctor Who/Harry Potter crossover because I started thinking about how everyone uses Amy Pond scenes as Lily Evans scenes in fan casts and then this happened. (I'm not hating; Karen Gillian!Lily Evans is my favourite. I just feel like I have to justify this madness...)

"Did you hear that noise?"

"What noise?"

"It was like a...vrowp, vrowp noise." Lily tried not to burst out laughing, and succeeded. For about three seconds. "Stop laughing!" James insisted. "I'm serious. It was the strangest noise I've ever haerd. There's something funny going on."

"Dumbledore wouldn't have sent us into the village if something was going on," Lily said reasonably, but James was not dissuaded.

"He would if he didn't know there was something going on!" he insisted. Lily was just about to laugh at him again, when she heard a noise like a door being thrown open—which wouldn't have been that unusual, were they not on the middle of a path, ten minutes' walk from Hogwarts Castle in one direction and Hogsmeade village in the other. She and James exchanged frowns. "Wands out might be a good idea," he muttered. She nodded tersely, listening hard.

"But Doctor, are you sure this is Scotland?" a male voice asked.

"It's definitely Scotland," a woman—strongly accented—replied.

"How would you know?" the first voice asked.

"I am Scottish, idiot. I can sense the Scottish. It's in my blood," the second answered. "Like a dog. Or a wolf."

"Or a nutcase..."

"Oi, I heard that!"

"I don't know about what year this is, though," the first voice said. Lily and James exchanged glances again, now thoroughly confused.

"God, those houses look ancient," the woman added. "Is this like...the middle ages, or something?"

"The middle ages?" Lily mouthed. James just shrugged, clearly as perplexed as she was.

"Middle ages! No, of course not! I was aiming for 2011," a third voice, also male said. "I've never overshot that much before."

"What about that time we were headed for Henry VIII's court and ended up in Revolutionary France?"

"That was the sort of mistake that could happen to anyone!" the third voice said petulantly.

"Do you think they're talking in code?" James muttered.

Lily shrugged. "Only one way to find out," she said. Squaring her shoulders, she walked around the bend in the road, James dashing after her a second later.

"What're you playing at, Evans?" he cried. "It could be—dangerous," he finished lamely, taking in the scene before him. Lily was staring in surprise at the strange looking man in front of her: he had a very odd-shaped jaw, was wearing a very bizarre collection of clothes, and seemed somehow to be very, very young and very, very old at the same time. Behind him, were two more normal looking people, a young man and woman (who bore a surprising resemblance to Lily) both standing in front of a bright blue box that had 'Police' written across it. He knew that the Police were like the Muggle equivalent of Hit Wizards, but judging by Lily's expression, they didn't normally look like big blue oblongs.

"Hello," said the funny looking man. He smiled widely, and seemingly genuinely. "I'm the Doctor."

"Doctor What?" asked Lily.

"Just the Doctor. Or Doctor. Or Doc, I guess, but no one ever calls me that. I don't know why; they could say 'What's up, Doc?!', and I could say—"

"Ignore him," the woman who looked a bit like Lily said, stepping forward. "Doesn't know when to shut up. I'm Amy, and this is Rory." The man nodded, and James and Lily both gave rather hesitant nods. Despite their strange appearances, James didn't feel threatened by them—just perplexed.

"I'm James, and this is Lily," he offered.

"Nice to meet you," Amy said, grinning. "And—sorry for the odd question, but could you tell us what year it is?"

"What year?" Lily asked, sure she'd heard wrong.

"Yeah, the year. Or just, you know, the entire date," she said, still smiling.

"Er—twenty second of October, 1977," James said.

"Are you from the Department of Mysteries?" Lily asked curiously.

"Department of what now? Do we have one of those?" Rory asked, glancing at Amy, who shrugged.

"Dunno," she said brightly. "But no, we're not. And, 1977? You were aiming for 2011!" This last was addressed to the man they called the Doctor, who waved his hands dismissively.

"That's hardly an overshoot," he said. "But!" he added, swinging around to face Lily and James, "I know where we are now." James took a step closer to Lily almost unconsciously. "School robes, Scotland, 1970s. That's Hogsmeade village, isn't it?" he asked, pointing. Lily nodded. "And that's Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, isn't it?" Lily nodded again.

"Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and what?" Rory asked, gaping. Amy just looked confused.

"But, Doctor, that's just an old ruin," she said, pointing at the castle.

"Are you Muggles?" Lily asked, now even more confused.

"No," the Doctor said confidently. "Well, I'm not, they are. I'm an alien. Hi!" This time it was Lily who took a step backwards, closer to James. "Oh, for goodness' sake!" The Doctor said, turning to Amy and Rory. "After all we've seen, you're surprised magic exists?!"

"Well, when you put it like that..." Rory muttered.

"Honestly, muggles," the Doctor said, shaking his head. He turned back to Lily and James. "Right, so, Hogwarts, 1977. Who's your Headmaster right now?"

"Professor Albus Dumbledore," Lily said, standing up slightly taller.

"And it was him who sent us down to the village; he knows where we are and if we don't come back—" James said, trying to sound menacing.

"Oh, Dumbles!" the Doctor exclaimed delightedly. "How is he? Oh, the times we've had..."

Lily and James exchanged dumbfounded glances.

"Sorry," Amy said, "is he doing that thing where he massively disrespects someone who's considered really important in your world?"

"Um...kind of?" said James.

"Oh, that's just great!" Rory said. "He'll offend you; you'll turn us all into frogs..."

"No, no, Dumbledore and I go way back!" the Doctor insisted.

"Actually, person-to-animal Transfiguration is quite difficult," James said.

Amy was craning her neck. "I still don't see any magic school...that's just a ruin!"

"Enough!" Lily bellowed. They all stopped and looked at her in varying degrees of alarm, but it was James she rounded on, causing him to take several startled steps backwards. "This is one of your stupid Marauder-y pranks, isn't it?! Aliens and...rubbish! I thought you'd matured! Did you trick Dumbledore into sending us down to Hogsmeade? Or was that actually just Sirius disguised to look like him?! Guess you wanted to make me look stupid, huh?"

"Lily, I'm not...I don't...this wasn't me!" James said desperately. "I have no idea what's going on!"

"What's a Marauder?" Amy asked.

"He does look quite serious right now," Rory added. "But we've never seen him before, if that helps."

"And he really is an alien," Amy said earnestly, pointing to the Doctor. "He has two hearts and everything!"

"This is my spaceship," the Doctor said, striding forward and slapping the door of the police box proudly. It swung open slightly, allowing them a glimpse inside. "It's called a TARDIS, which stands for Time And Relative—"

"But," Lily said faintly. "It's...it's bigger on the inside?" She took a step closer.

"Yeah, you get used to that," Rory said helpfully.

"Lily, no!" James cried, dashing forwards. "It could be a trap!" He followed Lily, Amy and Rory into the TARDIS, stopping short once he was inside, sure his face was mirroring Lily's own look of amazement. Whatever else the TARDIS was, it was most definitely much, much, much bigger than its exterior suggested.

"Look, I understand you being suspicious," Amy said gently, holding out her hands in a gesture of surrender. "But I promise we're not trying to trick you, or anything. We ended up here by accident, but we're not...well, in the words of my husband, we're nice!"

"It's all just a tiny bit hard to believe, you know?" James asked drily. "Spaceships and aliens and...time travelling, I'm assuming?"

"No harder to believe than magic," shrugged Rory.

"Yeah, but that's real," James said earnestly, then realised his mistake.

"Don't mind him," Lily said. "He grew up in the wizarding world, so he's never known any different. I'm muggleborn—which means my parents are muggles, non-magic people, like you. I didn't realise I was a witch until I was eleven, when Hogwarts—which is that school you can't see, but I promise it is there—wrote to me. So I do have some understanding of what it's like to find yourself suddenly thrown into a bizarre environment."

"Thank you so much for explaining that," Rory said, grinning at her. "Usually, people just expect us to understand all sorts of crazy things, without bothering to explain them, you know? It's gotten us into a bit of trouble before now, as you can imagine..."

"Er...yes?" Lily said.

"So I'm not being funny, or anything, but can you actually do magic?" Amy asked curiously. Lily waved her wand, conjuring a shower of sparks, and both Amy and Rory gasped.

"Accio coat!" James said, pointing his wand at a gilet lying around on the TARDIS console. It flew into his hand and Rory looked admiringly at him.

"That is so cool!" Amy said gleefully. "What else can you do?"

"Well," Lily began, but her attention was caught by something else on the console. "Are those Jammy Dodgers?!"

"They are!" Amy said. "Can you get them over here?" Lily obligingly waved her wand and they flew over.

"Oh, my God. I love Jammy Dodgers! Wizards don't have them," she said.

"I've changed my mind. I don't want to be a wizard," Rory said seriously. "Biscuit?" he held the packet over after taking one himself, and Lily helped herself.

"You'll like them," she said to James, who still looked suspicious.

"So are you lot still in school?" Amy asked.

"Final year," James said, as Lily chewed the biscuit.

"We're Head Boy and Head Girl," she added. "Professor Dumbledore—that's our Headteacher—sent us down to the village in our free to talk to one of the shop owners whose supplying the decorations for our Hallowe'en feast next week. Then we bumped into you guys..."

"Cool," said Amy. "Our school had Head students. I wasn't one though."

"Surprisingly," Rory said, rolling his eyes.

Amy ignored him. "So, how long have you two been together?"

"Oh, we're not together," Lily said immediately, and James shook his head.

"No, just friends, us," he said.

"Colleagues," added Lily.

Amy and Rory both gave them disbelieving looks, but before anyone could say anything, the Doctor reappeared. Lily and James hadn't even noticed he was missing, but Amy and Rory were frowning slightly at the worried expression on his face. "What's going on?" asked the former.

"Is that a plunger?" asked the latter, pointing to the instrument he was holding.

"No!" the Doctor said defensively. "It's a highly sophisticated piece of sensory equipment, designed to indicate the presence of—basically, it's a thing that goes ding when there's stuff. Ding when there's stuff...oh, those were the days!"

"Don't mind him, just a private joke with himself," Amy said to Lily and James. "So you're saying there's something funny going on here?" she added, turning to face the Doctor again.

"You're telling me," James muttered to Lily, and she stifled a snort.

The Doctor frowned, and looked like he was about to say something when something whooshed past them, plunging them into darkness. The lights turned on again a second later, but judging by the looks on Amy, Rory and the Doctor's faces, that was not entirely reassuring. The plunger-like object in the Doctor's hand started beeping, and he turned to it. "Yes, I know that now! A bit of warning might have been nice before the event!" He threw it over his shoulder in disgust, and it landed with a crash somewhere below them which made Lily jump.

"Doctor, what was that?" asked Rory.

He sighed. "It was a Boggart," he said. "They're—"

"Magical creatures!" Lily said in surprise.

"They take on the form of whatever scares you most," James added. "But you can get rid of them using the Riddikilus charm, or through laughter."

"Yes and no," said the Doctor. "They're not magical creatures; they're aliens from the planet Beggardene. The Boggarts of Beggardene... They're fairly harmless—quite stupid really, and they only scare you as a protection mechanism. They have no weapons beyond shapeshifting, you see?"

"Boggarts are actually...aliens?!" Lily squeaked.

"Yes, yes, from Beggardene," the Doctor said impatiently. "Weren't you listening? Anyone, this one's quite far from home, but I can take it back. They like dark, enclosed places, so if we find it, I'll trap it in a chest and then we can release it back at its home. It must've stowed away on the TARDIS when we were visiting another galaxy...they do that."

"Can't Lily and I just use the Riddikulus charm to get rid of it?" asked James.

"Oh, humans! You're all the same," the Doctor said. James looked mildly insulted. "You're always just moving a problem around, never solving it. The Riddikilus charm doesn't get rid of a Boggart, it just sends it somewhere else so it's someone else's problem. We want to capture this one so we can take him home!"

"So what do we do?" Amy asked.

"We split up and look for it," the Doctor said.

"How very Scooby-Doo," Rory said, and Amy and Lily giggled.

"You lot get hunting—it'll be here in the TARDIS somewhere, it won't've gone outside because it's too nice and sunny out there—and I'll find a chest to trap it in. If you find it, laugh at it, don't use that charm," he added, with a warning glance at James and Lily.

"Isn't trapping it kind of cruel?" asked Rory.

"No, they like dark, enclosed spaces and then we'll take it straight home," the Doctor said. "We're doing it a favour, actually. So what're you waiting for? Split up and look for it; I'll get the chest and join you!" He bounded off into the depths of the TARDIS, leaving the others staring in his wake.

"Is he actually five years old?" Lily asked.

"Over nine hundred, actually, but you'd think so, wouldn't you?" Amy replied. "We should look for this Boggart thing, but we'll split into two twos—Rory and I will stick with one of you each," she added, looking between Lily and James. "I promise this isn't a trick, or anything, but I'd feel safer knowing I'm about to confront my biggest fear if I've got something that can protect me, whatever he says." She pointed at Lily's wand.

"That's okay," Lily said. "I've decided it's not a trick—it's too bizarre and strange. Alien boggarts on a spaceship? I've decided I must be dreaming."

"If you are, I think I'm having the same dream," James sighed.

"I'm sorry I yelled at you," Lily said. "I thought it was some stupid prank you were pulling on me, but..." She shrugged. "Like I say, I must be dreaming."

"It's okay," he grinned. "To be honest, I'm quite flattered you think we're good enough to pull off something as big as this!"

"That's how I know I'm dreaming—you just aren't that clever, mate," Lily said, and he chuckled.

"Oi, you two! Quit flirting and find that Boggart! Honestly, you're worse than the Ponds!" the Doctor's voice echoed from deep within the TARDIS. James and Lily blushed.

"Come on," Amy said, linking her arm through Lily's. "We'll take this side. You boys go off over there." She pulled Lily away. "So, dark enclosed spaces are what Boggarts like?" she asked. The other girl nodded. "So like...under the console, or something?"

"Could be," Lily agreed. Amy bent down and looked, but came up a moment later. "Nothing here," she announced. "Let's try further on. By the way, I hope I didn't make things awkward earlier, asking if you and James were together."

Lily pulled a face. "I'm sure I'll survive; I've been in more awkward situations around him," she said. Amy shot her a curious look. "He used to ask me out all the time, in the most ridiculous ways. It used to get a bit much, you know? But he's grown out of it now."

"To your displeasure," Amy grinned.

"What?!" said Lily, but she could feel her face flush under the other woman's knowing smirk.

"You fancy him a bit, I can tell," she said. "But that's okay—he's quite fit!"

"I'm not...I don't...he's...well, I suppose he is not bad to look at," Lily conceded.

"Mm-hmm?" Amy said, raising an eyebrow. "Come on, how bad would it be to admit that to him?"

"Very?" Lily replied. "He spent years asking me out; I can't just turn around now and admit that I was wrong to turn him down! In fairness, though, he was quite an obnoxious fifteen year old; he's much more attractive now. Er, not that you heard me say that." Amy laughed.

"It wouldn't be as bad as what I had to admit to Rory," she said. "I thought...well, for years, we were best friends, but he never showed any interest in any other girls," she elaborated. "And one day, we were talking about it with my...a friend, and I burst out with 'but Rory's gay, that's why he hasn't dated anyone!'. Talk about awkward!"

"Well, when you put it like that..." Lily giggled.

"Exactly! Just say to him, James, I think you have a nice arse and I'd like to go on a date with you. We can wear bell-bottom jeans and go disco dancing to ABBA and it'll be...groovy."

"What?!" Lily said.

"Sorry," Amy pulled a face. "I don't really know what people got up to in the seventies."

"Not that," Lily said faintly. "I keep forgetting you're from the future. Oh my God. I can't believe I'm talking about fancying James to a stranger from the future on a spaceship whilst hunting for an alien."

"I suppose it is a bit weird," Amy said.

"Just a tad," Lily agreed, and the two of them burst into giggles again. "I'm just going to keep telling myself that it is all a dream."

"You do that," Amy said, bending down to look beneath another surface.

"It's just a dream, I'm going to wake up in my lovely four-poster in a moment and—" A loud scream made her jump, and she looked up to see Amy scrambling backwards, pursued by the strangest looking object she'd ever seen.

"EXTERMINATE!" cried the thing, and Amy screamed again.

"I'm coming!" yelled Rory's voice from far away, but there was a crash like someone running into something, and Lily didn't know what to do—her wand was out, but she had no idea what sort of spell to cast, and—

"It's a Dalek!" shrieked Amy.

"It's just a Boggart," James cried. Lily looked up: he was directly above them, on a sort of raised platform, wand drawn. "Ridik—"

"No magic!" cried the Doctor from somewhere far beneath them. "Laughter! Someone tell a joke!"

"My stand-up skills aren't really at their best right now!" Lily heard Rory yell, as she racked her brains for a joke—anything, no matter how bad.

"Er—a hag and a warlock go into a bar," James said desperately. The Dalek was still advancing on Amy. "And the hag says to the warlock—"

"What d'you call a donkey with three legs?" Lily cried, an old, very bad joke her father used to tell jumping into her mind.

"A wonkey!" cried the Doctor, from far away.

Amy let out a slightly hysterical 'hah!' of laughter, and the Boggart faltered.

"Oi, you, over here!" Lily cried, conjuring a ball and throwing it at the creature before dashing off, away from Amy. Rory had arrived and the two of them were embracing; Lily ran deeper into the TARDIS trying to get it to chase her. "It just wants to get home; it's not going to hurt me," she muttered.

She turned and looked back, but froze in place. A huge snake was slithering towards her, body bigger than a tree trunk, glowing yellow eyes and fangs...oh Merlin, fangs like razor blades. "I won't hurt you!" she squeaked. "We'll take you home...I...oh God!" The snake reared up, opening its mouth even further; she closed her eyes, covered her head with her hands and awaited the inevitable, and—

"Riddikilus!" A loud crack, a clatter, and Lily opened one eye slightly. The snake-Boggart was gone, and James was standing in its place, panting heavily. "A snake?" he asked.

She opened both eyes and squeezed her hands into fists to stop them shaking. "When I was very little, before I knew about magic or anything, I was bitten by an Adder in my garden. I've been irrationally afraid of snakes ever since, but when I...when I learnt what House snakes represented at school, and when the person who had been my best friend left me to join them..." she trailed off. She wished he would look away; she'd take anything but that look of sympathy on his face right now...

"I'm sorry," James said. "I know that the two of you were friends."

"It's not your fault," Lily shrugged. "It was his choice to join them; nothing you did made him become one of them."

"I'm sorry you lost a friend, though," he said. She shrugged again. James was standing very close to her now, and he held a hand out towards her, whether to touch her or hold her hand or just as a gesture of solidarity she did not know. "Lily, I—"

"I told you, no magic!" the Doctor raced around the corner, Amy on his heels.

"It was going to hurt her!" James cried, turning around.

"Yes, but you didn't have to use that charm! Now he's gone again—he could be anywhere in here! You should've just laughed at it!" the Doctor said.

"Forgive me, jokes were a little far from my mind as I saw a snake about to sink its jaws into Lily," James snapped.

The Doctor sighed. "It'll still be in here somewhere. We just have to find it again. I have the chest now," he held up a wooden box, "so next time, no magic and we'll trap it!"

"Rory's upstairs, if you want to search with him?" Amy said. James nodded. "Doctor, go back down below. Lily and I will check this floor." The two went off in opposite directions, leaving Amy and Lily on the centre part of the console.

"Are you okay?" Lily asked.

"Yeah. You?" She nodded, and Amy looked relieved. "Thanks for saving me from the Dalek."

"It's fine," Lily shrugged. "What is Dalek, anyway?"

"Trust me, you'd rather not know," Amy shuddered. "But I hate that this Boggart thing is your worst fear. It just...paralyses you. I hate being helpless."

"I know exactly what you mean," Lily said. "I promise that I'm not usually as useless as that."

"You weren't useless at all!" Amy said. "You chased the monster away from me! That was incredibly brave."

"I guess I am a Gryffindor after all," she said.

"What's a Gryffindor?" asked Amy.

"At our school, we have different four different Houses, and you get sorted into one depending on what values you have," Lily explained.

"And Gryffindors are brave?"

"And noble and chivalrous and stuff like that."

A sly look crossed Amy's face. "So your James is a Gryffindor, too?"

"He's not my James!" Lily answered. "But, yes, he is..."

"He rescued you," Amy said, still with that same look on her face.

"Don't remind me," muttered Lily.

"Oh, come on. You thought it was a tiny bit hot. Admit it!" Amy grinned.

"I did not!" Lily protested forcefully.

"Whatever," laughed Amy. "All I know is, when Rory does something like that for me, we—"

"Oh God, oh God!" They both looked up at the sound of Rory's panicked voice, exchanged glances and ran towards the flight of stairs. "Can you hear me? Are you okay? It's okay, I'm a nurse. I'll help you."

Lily didn't even realise how much she had been panicking until she heard James's voice answer Rory's. "It's not real. It's...it's my Boggart." Amy stopped short, and Lily almost crashed into her. She peered over the other woman's shoulder, to see Sirius lying on the floor—pale in death, with just a trickle of blood coming out of his nose. Bile rose in her throat, until she saw James raise his wand and stutter over the incantation.

The Boggart changed shape: now it was Remus lying dead on the floor in front of them. James waved his wand again, and now it was Peter on the floor.

"James!" Lily yelled, trying to get his attention. She'd never seen him look so utterly vulnerable, and the sight of her classmates lying dead on the floor was affecting her, too. "It's not real! It's just a Boggart! Laugh! Come on, think of something funny."

He looked up at her, and she smiled encouragingly. And then he turned back to the Boggart, and the body on the floor turned into her own. Lily's knees buckled, and it was only because Amy had the quick reflexes to grab hold of her that she didn't end up on the floor next to her own dead body. "Doctor!" she heard Rory, yell from far away, and then there were footsteps, and the Doctor shoved James out of the way, and the body on the floor changed into something she couldn't see and there was a crash as the Doctor pushed whatever it was into the box and Rory dived on top of it and trapped it and it was over.

Rory and the Doctor stood panting over the chest. "It's sealed," the former said, and Lily let out a long breath. Amy still had her arms wrapped around her, holding her upright, which she was grateful for: James had sunk to the floor and she thought she might have, too, were it not for the other woman.

"Are you okay?" Amy asked, finally loosening her grip.

Lily nodded, not trusting herself to speak just yet.

"Mate?" the Doctor said gently, making his way over to James. "Mate, it's gone now. It's not real."

"I know," James said shakily. "I...it's stupid. Just a Boggart...stupid..."

"It's not stupid to be afraid," the Doctor said. "Especially not to be afraid of those you love leaving you." Lily swallowed.

Amy pushed her forwards slightly. She turned back, only to see her mouth 'Go on!', a small smile on her lips.

"James?" Lily asked, walking over. He got to his feet. "Hi," she said, stopping short. "It's gone now."

"I know," he said. "I was just...yeah."

"Scared? Me too, when it was the snake. Kind of the point of a Boggart," she gave a shaky laugh, which he echoed.

"I'm sorry you had to see...that," he said, gesturing to where the bodies had lain on the floor.

"It's okay," Lily said at once.

"It can't have been easy for you, seeing yourself like that," he continued. "I really am sorry."

"You don't have to apologise!" she insisted. "It was just...surprising that you think of me like Sirius and Remus and Peter. I didn't realise..."

"Well...we're friends, aren't we?" James said, and she nodded. "I don't...I don't want my friends to die. And with this war building..."

"Well...I promise not to die," Lily said. Her mouth had suddenly gone very dry...

"Good!" said James. "That's...good."

"Yes," she said, faintly. "Um..."

"Why does it always end up like this?!" They turned to see Amy, Rory and the Doctor staring at them, and Lily blushed. "Honestly!" the Doctor said. "For God's sake, kiss the girl!"

There was a questioning sort of look on James's face as he glanced down at her; Lily answered what was unspoken by standing on her tiptoes and bringing her lips to his. It was awkward at first—they weren't in quite the right place, and her teeth bashed against his lips slightly—and then, it wasn't.

It was perfect.

"Ahem! Ahem!" At the Doctor's cough, the two of them broke apart, breathing heavily. Lily saw Amy give her the thumbs up, and grinned back. "We've got a Boggart to rehome, you know!" the Doctor said. "Are you two coming? We'll get you back in time for...snogging and schooling."

Lily and James exchanged glances, then nodded simultaneously.

"Excellent!" enthused the Doctor. "Come on, then!"

Amy and Rory followed him to the control panel, and Lily held out her hand for James. He slid his hand into hers, and they followed the others. "You know," James said, "this is the weirdest thing that has ever happened to me, but I really, really hope it's not a dream."

"If it is," Lily murmured back, "I hope that, for once, I'm having the same dream as you."