South Park vs. Seth MacFarlane Survivor

Episode 13 (SEASON FINALE)

Bart: We started with 16 castaways here in the Australian Outback. Over the course of 36 days, romance blossomed (and fizzled), old rivalries resurfaced, and new friendships were made. One by one, 12 castaways have been voted off the competition. Now, only four remain to vie for one million dollars and the title of Sole Survivor.

From the start, Kyle Broflovski was a primary target for elimination, especially in the eyes of Eric Cartman. However, thanks to clever strategy, timely challenge wins and some luck, Kyle has endured, and now finds himself only three days away from a million dollar payday. Can the red-haired Jewish resident of South Park outlast the competition a little while longer?

On day one, four members of the Griffin family arrived in Australia to contend for the million dollars. Of the four Griffins, baby Stewie is the only one to make it this far. Stewie has utilized his knowledge and cunning to navigate the many obstacles and pitfalls of Survivor. When his dog and best friend Brian was voted off, Stewie adapted to the changing conditions and tribal politics to stay alive in this game. Can the youngest Griffin make it all the way to the top?

Early in the game, Butters Stotch laid low, opting to play conservatively and not take a leadership role in the game. After the merger, Butters latched onto Cartman's five-person alliance. He dodged a huge bullet when Cartman tried to blindslide him at tribal council by playing one of two hidden immunity idols added to the game this season. The big turning point for Butters came on day 29 when Cartman accidently revealed his earlier plan to blindside Butters. That incident led to Cartman being voted out at the following tribal council. Now, Butters has a one in four shot at one million dollars, but can he hang on for three more days?

Finally, we have Wendy Testaburger, our lone remaining girl in the competition. In a big early move, Wendy abandoned Stan Marsh in order to be with Cartman. The new couple became the center of the strongest alliance in this entire game. Since Cartman's shocking elimination on day 30, Wendy has shown that she is more than capable of fending for herself. She is also peaking at the right time, as Wendy has won the past two individual challenges. Can Wendy beat the boys to claim the one million dollars?

Which of these four will join Season 1 champion Hermione Granger on the list of Survivor champions? Enough talk, let's find out who wins!

Kangaroo Tribe: Day 37

(Wendy and Stewie are sitting by the fire. Butters is still sleeping, and Kyle is out fishing. They hear the sound of a motorboat in the distance. The boat stops on the shore of the creek right next to Kyle. Bart hops out and heads towards the shelter with Kyle.)

Wendy: It looks like we won't have to wait very long to find out what the next challenge is.

Bart: What's shaking, guys? I'm here for the next immunity challenge. Kyle, go wake up Butters and we'll get started.

(Kyle wakes up Butters, and they join the other three by the fire.)

Stewie: We're having the challenge here?

Bart: Yeah, but before I get to that, I'm going to take that necklace back Wendy. (Wendy takes necklace off and hands it to Bart) Today's challenge is simple. I'm going to ask you all five questions about your fellow castaways and everything that has occurred throughout the game. You will have fifteen seconds to write down your response with these small dry erase boards and markers. The person who answers the most questions correctly wins immunity and is guaranteed a spot in the top three. In the event of a tie, we do have tiebreaker questions prepared. Any questions? (castaways shake their heads) Okay then, grab a marker and a dry erase board and we'll get started.

[Wendy, Kyle, Stewie and Butters each grab a marker and a dry erase board and takes a seat by the fire.]

Bart: We'll start with a simple question. Who was the last castaway voted off before the merger?

[The four castaways write down their answers and reveal them to Bart. All four of them wrote down FRANCINE.]

Bart: The correct answer is…Francine. All four of you have one point. Question #2: There were two hidden immunity idols used this season. Who played those idols?

[The survivors take all the time they need to respond. Kyle, Wendy and Stewie say BUTTERS and STAN while Butters thinks it was BUTTERS and STEWIE.]

Bart: Everyone except Butters is right. Butters played his hidden immunity idol on day 24, and Stan played his on Day 33. Kyle, Wendy and Stewie have two points, Butters has one. It's going to get a little tougher now. Question #3: What was the South Park Tribe's reward for winning the sack race back on day 7?

[The tribe is split evenly on this question. Stewie says BEER while the other three say HUNTING/FISHING GEAR.]

Bart: Everyone except Stewie is correct. Beer was the other possible reward, but since the entire South Park tribe was under 21, we made them take the fishing gear. Kyle and Wendy are tied with three points, Stewie and Butters have two. Question #4: Who were the tribe representatives for the merger summit?

[All four castaways put down the same two names: CARTMAN and STAN.]

Bart: You are all correct, and you all get a point. Kyle and Wendy have four points, Stewie and Butters have three. Last question: Which character died at a tribal council?

[The castaways need all of the fifteen seconds to answer this question. Kyle, Wendy, and Butters write down KENNY, and Stewie says THAT KID IN THE ORANGE PARKA.]

Bart: The correct answer is Kenny. Sorry Stewie, but we were looking for his actual name.

Stewie: How was I supposed to know his name? The kid almost never talked, and when he did, I couldn't understand what the hell he was saying.

Bart: Anyway, at the end of five questions, Kyle and Wendy are tied with five points each. Here is the tiebreaker question for you two: Name all five original members of the Cartman/Stewie alliance.

[Kyle and Wendy scribble furiously on their dry erase boards. Kyle's answer is CARTMAN, STEWIE, BRIAN, WENDY and BUTTERS. Wendy's response is the same, except she puts down Quagmire in place of Butters.]

Bart: Alright, one of you has the right answer, and that person is…..Kyle! You win immunity, and are safe from the vote tonight. (Bart puts the necklace around Kyle's neck.) I'll see you all at tribal council tonight. (Bart goes back to his motorboat and heads back down river.)

Wendy: Damnit! So close, but so far away! I forgot the question asked for the original members of the alliance. I had my sights set on Kyle going home tonight, but now that he has immunity, I'm going to have to go with Plan B.

Day 37: Tribal Council

(The four members of the Kangaroo Tribe proceed in and take their seats.)

Bart: Let's bring in our jury. (Francine, Ike, Brian, Lois, Cartman, Quagmire and Stan enter the tribal council area and occupy the jury area.) Half of you will join these seven people in the final jury, and the other half will have a 50-50 shot at one million dollars. Kyle, it's crunch time in this game now and you're on fire, having won three immunity challenges. How have you been able to figure out these challenges?

Kyle: I believe I've always been competitive in the challenges since the tribes merged. I was especially confident during the trivia challenge today, but Wendy put up a great fight.

Bart: Butters, you were so close to being voted off in the last tribal council. Do you expect tonight to be any different?

Butters: Maybe, maybe not. I have no way of knowing my tribe mates' true intentions until we vote.

Bart: Okay, then let's get it over with. Kyle, you won immunity, so lead us off.

[ Kyle walks up to the voting booth. Shot of him voting, followed by Wendy's vote for BUTTERS.]

Wendy: Nothing personal. It was just the process of elimination.

[Shot of Stewie voting, and Butters reveals his vote to be for STEWIE.]

Butters: My only hope is that the South Park kids decide to gang up on the one Family Guy person. If that doesn't work, I might be done for.

[Butters puts his vote in the bucket and returns to his seat.]

Bart: I will go tally the votes. [Bart leaves, and then returns with the bucket.] I will now read the votes. [Bart takes the first vote out of the bucket.] First vote….Stewie. Second vote….is also for Stewie. (Stewie is so nervous that he can't bear to watch.) Next vote….Butters. Two votes Stewie, one vote Butters, one vote left. That vote is for…Butters. (The castaways and jury are baffled.) So, for the first time in this game, a vote ends in a tie. Normally, I would ask for a re-vote, but….Kyle, you're not changing your vote, right?

Kyle: No way dude.

Bart: Wendy?

Wendy: It's not going to happen.

Bart: (sighs) Luckily, we're prepared for this kind of predicament. (Bart takes out a small brown paper bag.) In this bag, there is a white rock and a black rock. Butters and Stewie, you will one by one pick a stone out of the bag. Do not look at it, and keep a closed fist around it. Do not reveal it until I tell you to do so. The person who draws the black rock will be eliminated. Are you guys ready?

Stewie: What the duce man? After 37 days, one of us is going to lose on sheer dumb luck? That's fucking stupid!

Bart: Hey, I don't make the rules man! Just for that, you get to draw first.

(Stewie closes his eyes as he puts his hand into the paper bag and grabs a rock. Butters does the same thing after him.)

Bart: On the count of three, open your fists. 1…2…..3! (Stewie opens his hand to reveal…..a white rock. Much to his dismay, Butters sees the black rock in his hand.) There you have it! Butters Stotch, bring me your torch. (Butters gives Kyle a high five before grabbing his torch and giving it to Bart.) Butters, the tribe has spoken. (extinguishes torch) You have to go.

Butters: You got this Kyle! (Stan leaves tribal council)

Bart: And then there were three. You all better head back to camp and get some sleep because you'll be up bright and early for tomorrow's final immunity challenge. Good night! (Kyle, Stewie and Wendy grab their torches and head back to camp.)

Confessional

Butters: Gee whiz, the luck of the draw beat me. I guess it just wasn't meant to be. $50,000 is still a lot of money though! You can buy a lot of kisses with $50,000. Do you know what I am saying? Although, I am going to be grounded for a while for not winning the game.

Kangaroo Tribe: Day 38

(The sun is not yet up, but Kyle Broflovski is. Unable to sleep, Kyle leaves the shelter and goes for a walk by the creek.)

Kyle: I've been in some really tight situations this whole game, but this might be the toughest one yet. If Wendy wins immunity today, she will absolutely vote for me. Stewie probably will too. This is a must-win situation for me.

Wendy: I've been up all night thinking about what today's challenge could be. Whatever it is, I bet it's going to be a big one.

(A few hours later, the trio arrives at a big field for the final immunity challenge. They see large stacks of wood, building tools, a fire pit, and a shooting gallery, among other things.)

Bart: Welcome to the final immunity challenge of season 2! Today, your survival skills will be put to the ultimate test through a gauntlet of mini-challenges. This is a complex challenge, so listen to the directions carefully. First, you will use the wood and tools to create a makeshift shelter. Once you're done with that, you will create a fire with whatever wood is left. Third, you will head over to those shooting galleries, where you must knock down all the objects with your name on it. Finally, you will follow the trail back to the creek. Once you're there, you will swim out to the floating platform to obtain a flag with your name on it. The first castaway to return with their flag and put it in front of their shelter wins immunity, and gets the only vote at tonight's tribal council.

Wendy: Do we have to do all this shit ourselves?

Bart: I was about to get to that before you rudely interrupted me. For this challenge, you will pick two people to help you from this group. (Bart points over to the woods, but nothing happens.) I said, from this group. (still nothing) THAT'S YOUR CUE GUYS!

?: Sorry, that's my bad.

Kyle: Hold up. I recognize that voice.

(Thirteen people emerge from the woods into the big clearing. It is the thirteen previously voted off castaways in order of their elimination: Bebe, Stan Marsh, Cleveland, Peter, Kenny (who has somehow come back to life), Francine, Ike, Brian, Lois, Eric Cartman, Quagmire, Stan Smith, and Butters. Kyle, Stewie and Wendy are very excited to see their friends from the game.

Bart: So here's the deal: the two people you pick to assist you can only help you with the shelter and the fire. You are on your own for the shooting gallery and retrieving the flag. We will pick assistants based on how you fared in the previous challenge. Kyle, you won that challenge, so you get to pick first.

Kyle: For me, picking my assistants was the easiest part of the challenge. Ike is my brother and all, but I'm in this to win it, and need strong assistants for that.

Kyle: Stan and Stan!

Stan Smith: Stan and Stan! It sounds like a law firm. (Kyle and the two Stans share a laugh.)

Bart: Wendy, you're up next.

Wendy: Honestly, one of the toughest parts of this challenge was picking whom I wanted to work with. You want to pick people who like you, but also were fairly strong players in the game.

Wendy: I'm going to go with…..Cartman and Bebe!

(Cartman and Bebe walk over to join Wendy.)

Bebe: Way to represent the girls!

Cartman: I knew you would make it this far, even without me. Let's squash that Jew!

Bart: Stewie, pick your two people and we'll get started.

Stewie: My first choice was easy, but the second choice was difficult.

Stewie: Brian and Quagmire.

(Brian and Quagmire high-five Stewie as they join his side.)

Bart: If there are no further questions, then Survivors Ready…..GO!

[The three groups take a few minutes to strategize. The seven castaways not picked for the challenge stay to cheer on the competitors. Kyle and the two Stans opt to start with the fire. Wendy and Stewie begin with the shelter, with help from their respective assistants. Stewie's group quickly falls behind when Brian and Quagmire disagree over how to build the shelter. Wendy's group works with surprising harmony. Meanwhile, after several attempts, Kyle's team gets the fire going and moves on to the shelter. A few minutes later, Wendy's squad has created a satisfactory shelter and moved on to making fire. Stewie finishes the first segment last. In an interesting strategy play, Stewie leaves Brian and Quagmire to make the fire while he runs over to the shooting gallery. Kyle notices Stewie's move.]

Kyle: Can you guys take it from here?

Stan Marsh: Yeah, go get him dude.

[Kyle lets the two Stans finish the shelter while he moves over to the shooting gallery. Focused on the fire, Wendy is unaware of what her two competitors are doing. That and trouble with the fire leads to Wendy and her team falling behind. At the shooting gallery, Stewie has already gotten two of the five targets with his name on it when Kyle arrives. Kyle shoots haphazardly at first, and then takes a moment to regain his focus. From there, he shoots with pinpoint accuracy. He and Stewie are done with the shooting gallery just as Wendy arrives after finishing her fire. Stewie holds a slight lead as they arrive at the creek. But Kyle proves to be the superior swimmer, as he reaches the platform and gets his flag first. On the path back, Kyle encounters Wendy, who in turn shoves him off the path in a desperate attempt to stay in the game. By the time Kyle recovers from his fall, Stewie has passed him with his flag. Kyle runs furiously to try and catch him, but Stewie plants his flag in front of his shelter before Kyle. Brian and Quagmire congratulate Stewie.]

Bart: Stewie Griffin wins immunity! Here is your necklace. (Stewie gets the necklace from Bart and puts it around his neck.) You will have the only vote at tribal council tonight. You've got a big decision ahead of you, so head on back to camp and think about it.

Kangaroo Tribe: Day 38

Stewie: Wow, the final two! I can't believe it! The only thing I have to worry about right now is Wendy and Kyle pleading their case for moving on with me.

(Right on cue, we cut to Stewie taking a nap on his bedding when Wendy confronts him.)

Wendy: You know whom you have to choose, right?

Stewie: Maybe I do, and maybe I don't.

Wendy: It's painfully obvious! Just think about all the votes Kyle is going to have on the jury: Stan Smith, his brother Ike. You have a better chance of winning with me in the final two.

(An hour or so later, it's Kyle's turn to talk to Stewie.)

Kyle: Did you see what happened at today's challenge?

Stewie: What about it?

Kyle: Wendy shoved me off the trail. You know I probably would've won if it wasn't for that.

Stewie: Look, this decision is mine and mine alone. So, leave me alone to think about it.

Kyle: Fine. (Kyle walks away towards the creek.)

Kyle: I am so pissed right now! Wendy's dirty play cost me immunity. If I get voted off because of that, it will be totally unfair.

Wendy: I hope Stewie sees things my way and votes off Kyle tonight.

Day 38: Tribal Council

(Kyle, Stewie and Wendy walk in to see Bart and the jury already there.)

Bart: Kyle, you seemed to be on your way to winning the challenge until something happened in the woods. What went wrong?

Kyle: Wendy shoved me off the path on purpose. She technically wasn't cheating, but it was a dirty play on her part.

Wendy: Oh, like you haven't played dirty all game! You bribed a cameraman to tell Kenny that Cartman was deceiving him, and then you ganged up on Cartman in an immunity challenge. So don't act all high and mighty.

Kyle: I'm not shying away from what I did in this game. I don't regret it because those moves got me to this point. I'm just bringing up the facts. Hopefully, Stewie takes it into account when he votes in a moment.

Bart: Speaking of that, Stewie, you may vote when you're ready.

[Stewie walks over to the voting booth. He stares at the blank piece of paper for a minute before writing down a name and putting his vote in the bucket.]

Stewie: This is my decision, and I'm not turning back.

Bart: Alright, I will now tally the vote. (Bart leaves, and returns with the bucket.) A reminder of what is at stake here. The person whose name is in here will be our third place finisher and will receive $100,000. He or she will also be the ninth and final member of the jury that will decide who wins one million dollars. Here it goes. [Bart takes Stewie's vote out.] The third place finisher is….Wendy Testaburger. Bring me your torch please.

(Wendy quietly brings her torch to Bart.)

Bart: Wendy, the tribe has spoken, and by the tribe I mean Stewie. (extinguishes torch) It's time to go. (Wendy exits tribal council) Well, well, well. I don't think a lot of people had Stewie Griffin and Kyle Broflovski pegged as the final two in this competition, but here we are. Congratulations to you two! Head on back to camp, and we will see you tomorrow night for the final tribal council. Good night!

(Kyle and Stewie grab their torches and head back to camp.)

Confessional

Wendy: I think Stewie just made a big mistake voting me off. Kyle has quite a few friends on that jury. It's going to be a close vote tomorrow night, but good luck to both of the guys. They've earned their spots in the final two. I'm disappointed that I came so close just to fall short, but I enjoyed this experience. $100,000 is still a lot of money too.

Kangaroo Tribe: Day 39

(Kyle is the first to wake up. He rubs his eyes and looks over to see an entire buffet of breakfast foods.)

Kyle: Whoa!

(Stewie suddenly wakes up.)

Stewie: What happened? Is there a crocodile in the shelter?

Kyle: No! Dude, check out that spread!

(Stewie's eyes widen when he sees all the food. He and Kyle dig in, grabbing sausage, bacon and eggs, and filling their glasses with orange juice.)

Stewie: I propose a toast…to the final two!

Kyle: Yeah! (Kyle and Stewie bang their glasses together, and then drink up the orange juice.) So….why Wendy?

Stewie: Why? Come on, I had no loyalty to that bitch. Bros before hoes, you know?

Kyle: (slightly confused) Right…bros before hoes.

(A few hours pass. Kyle and Stewie walk out to the creek with their stuff, and then look back at the shelter.)

Stewie: Are you thinking what I'm thinking?

Kyle: Let's tear this fucking place apart!

Stewie: Fuck Yeah!

(Kyle and Stewie destroy and dismantle the shelter, and then use their torches to burn the remains before leaving for their final tribal council.)

Kyle: Tonight's vote is going to be a nail biter. Stewie has at least three solid votes from Brian, Lois and Cartman while I have only two in Ike and Stan. I'm going to work on my case to the jury to convince those people on the fence.

(As Stewie and Kyle continue their walk to tribal council, we hear audio clips from the members of the jury.)

Brian: Both Kyle and Stewie have played the game well. I already know whom I'm voting for, but either way, we're getting a worthy Survivor champion.

Wendy: I'm on the fence with my vote right now. My decision is going to be based largely on what I hear from those two tonight, so they better be prepared.

Ike: Pewdiepie!

Day 39: Tribal Council

(Kyle and Stewie walk in and take the last two seats on their side of the fire.)

Bart: Here come the nine people who will determine your fate in this game: the jury. (Francine, Ike, Brian, Lois, Cartman, Quagmire, Butters, Stan, and Wendy proceed in and take their seats at the jury section.) This is the moment that the past 39 days have been building up to. Tonight, we will crown a Survivor champion. Tonight will work a little bit differently from past tribal councils. First, both of you will be allowed to give a brief opening statement to the jury. Then, one by one, the jury members will offer their questions and comments. Finally, the nine jury members will vote for the castaway they want to win one million dollars. Without further ado, the first person up for opening statements is Stewie.

Stewie: Hey. (pauses) How about that flight in, huh? (a few chuckles from the jury) Ha, just kidding. Looking back on my past 39 days here, I wasn't really the one to lead or form alliances. But when I look across the fire at you nine people, I can honestly say that I have no enemies over there in the jury. Except for maybe Cartman, but come on. We all know he's voting for me. Overall, I've played this game smartly and without stepping on anyone's toes, and I don't think the same can be said about my opponent. I hope you'll take that into account when making your decision tonight.

Bart: Kyle, you're up man.

Kyle: Outwit, outplay, outlast. Those are the three main aspects of Survivor. Yes, it's true that I did some dirty moves throughout this game, such as ganging up on Cartman at an individual immunity challenge. But I did all those things because I believed wholeheartedly that they were the best play at the time. And you know what? I learned something today. Like it or not, Survivor is designed to be a ruthless and cutthroat game that sometimes requires lies, blindsides and aggressive play in the challenges. Yes, I was upset when Wendy pushed me off the path in that last immunity challenge. However, given 24 hours to think about it, I realize that that move was maybe her last shot at staying alive in that challenge. She did what she had to do to stay alive. She was simply trying to outwit, outplay, and outlast. That, after all, is what Survivor is all about. So, I stand behind all my actions from the past 39 days, and win or lose, I can look back on this experience with no regrets.

(The jury seems impressed by Kyle's speech.)

Bart: Thanks for the riveting opening remarks guys. We will now hear from the jury, starting with Francine Smith.

Francine: First of all, allow me to be the first jury member to say congratulations to you two! Now, I was one of six castaways voted off before the merger. What did you all do early in the game that perhaps the survivors eliminated early did not do in order to make it to the merger?

Stewie: I'd say it was as simple as not doing anything stupid. Peter screwed up frequently at challenges and around camp, and that was the main reason our tribe voted him off so unanimously.

Kyle: The main flaw I can think of is failing to play a full 39-day game. You don't necessarily have to play an aggressive game all the time, but when you're on Survivor, you constantly have to keep your finger on the pulse of tribal politics if you want to be successful.

Bart: Kyle, it looks like your brother Ike is asleep, so we'll skip over him to Brian Griffin.

Brian: As you all know, I hosted season 1 of this show.

Cartman: Enough with the humblebrag dog!

Brian: Wait until your turn, Butterball! (clears throat) Anyway, here's my question: If you could compare yourself to any castaway from season 1, who would it be and why?

Stewie: Well, I remember briefly substituting for you as host because you were hungover from mojitos, so I've actually met all the contestants. I would go with Hermione or Lisa because they both utilized their brainpower to go deep it into the game while somewhat reluctantly partaking in alliances and tribal politics. As you know, Hermione ended up winning it all last year, so here's hoping history repeats itself.

Kyle: Honestly, I'd compare myself to Bart over there. We both had our backs against the wall several times, yet we found ways to stay in the game.

Bart: (clapping) Now that is a good answer. Lois, lay it on us.

Lois: Brian's question was about season 1, but my question is about your fellow castaways in season 2. If you could pick any castaway to take your place over there, who it would be and why?

Stewie: My main dog Brian. B-minus. Who's my dog?

Brian: I'm your dog! (both Stewie and Brian start barking.)

Bart: I'd hate to break up the little bromance here, but Kyle hasn't answered the question.

Kyle: I'd choose Stan Marsh. He's my best friend, and he never really got the opportunity to truly play this game. So, I'd give him my seat.

Bart: Next up is America's sweetheart, Eric Cartman.

Cartman: I don't have any questions for you. I fucking hate both you guys so much, but I hate Stewie a little less. So, congratulations football head!

Bart: A very simple and to the point speech. Glenn Quagmire, come on down!

Quagmire: I was never really part of an alliance, but you two were. So, what makes an effective alliance? How do you form an alliance and maintain it without displeasing any of its members?

Stewie: First of all, you need to have the numbers, meaning the majority of castaways in the tribe. Second, when you promise to give someone equal say in the tribe, you should keep that promise.

Cartman: Kiss my ass you limey fuck!

Bart: Hey, what did I say about ethnic slurs?! Continue.

Stewie: Oh, I'm done with my answer.

Kyle: The key component of a strong alliance is you have to plan as a group. You really need to think through the current situation as a whole, and allow everyone to contribute to the idea or scheme at hand.

Bart: Next up is Butters Stotch.

Butters: Everything about these 39 days was really hard, but what do you think was the easiest part of it all?

Stewie: Believe it or not, it was the tribal councils for me. Most of the time, I'd made my decision on whom to vote for before I even got here. For example, at the last tribal council, I had already decided to vote off Wendy instead of Kyle.

Kyle: In my opinion, the challenges were the easiest part. Yeah, most of them were physically draining, but they were actually really fun dude.

Bart: CIA agent Stan Smith is up next.

Stan: My question is the exact opposite of Butters. What was the most difficult part of the game for you?

Stewie: The challenges for sure. I won a couple of them, but overall they posed trouble for me.

Kyle: Having to deal with Cartman's fat ass for the almost the entire game.

Bart: Lastly, here is Wendy Testaburger.

Wendy: I don't have a question, but I would like to make a few comments. Stewie, I underestimated you. When you and Brian first joined our alliance, I thought the two of you would go along with our whims. You are smarter and more cunning than I thought. Kyle, we were on opposite sides pretty much the entire game, but I must admit you were a worthy adversary. I'm also glad you owned up to your actions earlier. It's one thing to do all those things, but it's another to take responsibility for them. I congratulate you both for making it to this point, and regardless of the outcome, we're crowning a worthy Survivor champion.

Bart: Well put, Wendy. Now, all that is left is the final vote to determine who will earn the title of Sole Survivor. A quick reminder to our jury: you are voting for the person you want to win. Don't forget that. It is now time to vote. Francine, lead us off.

[Francine enters the voting booth. Shots of her and Ike voting. Brian shows his vote to the camera. Not surprisingly, it's for STEWIE.]

Brian: You did your thing Stew! Couldn't be prouder of you.

[Shots of Lois, Cartman, Quagmire and Butters voting. Stan Smith then casts his vote for KYLE.]

Stan: Thanks for sticking by me. I made the right decision aligning with you at the merger.

[Shot of Wendy voting and returning to her seat.]

Bart: I will go get the votes. [Bart leaves and returns with the bucket.] Good news, you guys can return to civilization. Bad news, you will have to wait a few months to find out who won. I'll see you guys back in the US!

Stewie: A few months! I can't keep a secret that long!

Bart: It's the producer's idea. Deal with it!

(Bart leaves tribal council with the bucket and walks through the woods. The scene changes to a television studios in Los Angeles. The crowd gives Bart a loud standing ovation as he takes the stage, with the bucket in hand. Camera pans over to Kyle and Stewie, who are dressed up for the occasion. We then see all nine members of the jury on stage.)

Bart: The long wait is finally over! Kyle and Stewie, are you ready?

Kyle: Dude, we've been ready Bartman!

Stewie: Get on with it!

Bart: Okay, let's cut the crap and read these votes. [pulls first vote out of bucket] First vote….Stewie. Second vote….is also for Stewie. (cheers from the Stewie supporters in the crowd) Next vote….Kyle. Fourth vote….Kyle. (cheers from Kyle supporters, slightly louder than cheers for Stewie) Two votes Stewie, two votes Kyle. Fifth vote…Stewie. Sixth vote…Stewie. If Stewie gets another vote, here is our champion. Seventh vote…Kyle. Eighth vote…Kyle again. (loud cheers from crowd) That's four votes for Stewie, four votes for Kyle. It all comes down to this last vote. [pulls final vote out of bucket] The winner of South Park vs. Seth MacFarlane Survivor [unfolds paper and reads it] Congratulations to….KYLE BROFLOVSKI!

(An expression of stunned excitement crosses Kyle's face as he sees the final vote. He shakes hands with Stewie, and then is mobbed by his supporters from the jury. Stan Smith pats him on the back, and his little brother Ike hugs him. Even Cartman offers his congratulations. Bart enters the group.)

Bart: Kyle, on behalf of Southspringfield2822 productions and Survivor Studios, I present you with this check for one million dollars! (Bart hands the envelope with a check inside to Kyle, who holds it up in the air.) What a season it was! If you enjoyed this, then you will definitely enjoy season 3! Here is a quick preview:

On an uncharted island in the Caribbean Sea, eight characters from Nickelodeon's Nicktoons and eight characters from Cartoon Network will compete with one goal in mind: winning one million dollars! It's a battle of the kids' networks only on Survivor: Nickelodeon vs. Cartoon Network!

Bart: Well, that does it for South Park vs. Seth MacFarlane Survivor. Congratulations once again to our champion Kyle Broflovski! This is Bart Simpson saying good night, and don't have a cow America!

Tribal Council Votes

#13

Candidate (# of votes)

Butters (2)- Wendy, Stewie

Stewie (2)- Butters, Kyle

Tiebreaker- Butters eliminated because he drew the black rock

#14

Stewie voted for Wendy

#15 (Votes are for who wins)

Candidate (# of votes)

Kyle (5)- Ike, Stan, Wendy, Butters, Francine

Stewie (4)- Brian, Lois, Cartman, Quagmire

Author's Note: Whew! It took about a year, but this fic is finally in the books. I can't thank you all enough for reading and reviewing this. It gave me the motivation I needed to see this story through. Also, I want to give a special shout-out to my most loyal reader and reviewer, TheBigBadWolf1.

I'm taking a brief break, but I will begin work on Season 3 soon enough. I'll post the roster of castaways in a couple of weeks. If you have any suggestions for Nickelodeon or Cartoon Network characters to include in that season, let me know.

I hope you enjoyed reading this fanfic as I much I enjoyed writing it! See you in Season 3! Southspringfield2822 signing out!