Ch. 36

"Maggie and Sasha should be back soon," Carol said, slowly approaching Daryl.

Letting out a grunt, Daryl kept his gaze focused on the petite blonde in the other room, an infant bouncing on her lap. Loud giggles emitted from Judith's lips each time Beth dipped her back slightly. This had been going on for half an hour, and every time that Beth went to put Judith down, the baby would erupt in loud cries. Daryl had no doubt that Judith had missed Beth, because even when Beth had been here, she hadn't taken much interest in Judith until today.

"Sounds like they're having fun," Carol piped in, breaking him from his reverie.

"Yeah. Judith can't get enough of Beth today…"

"She's doing better, Daryl. She's not the same, but she's doing better."

And Daryl knew that Carol wasn't talking about Judith, her words were directed at Beth. Carol was right. Beth was doing better. The dark shadows that had been haunting her were seemingly fading away. They'd never completely be gone, but they were being put in the past.

"What's goin' on outside?" he asked abruptly, wanting to change the subject.

"Tyreese is on watch right now, killed a few walkers that were coming from the woods. Kids are playing. Rick and Carl are cleaning guns. That's about it."

"We're getting too used to this."

Glancing over at her, Daryl noticed how Carol's eyebrows knitted together in confusion, clearly not understanding what he was saying.

"What do you mean?" she finally asked after a few stretched seconds of silence.

"We're getting too used to this," he repeated. "Staying in one place, having a roof over our heads and having things easy."

"Don't you think we deserve that? After everything we've been through…"

"Never said we don't deserve it. But that's what happened at the prison. We got used to it. And then things went wrong."

"You think that's going to happen here?"

"I don't really know, but I'm not willing to risk it. We can't just keep acting like it's the old world."

Truth is, this had been weighing heavy on Daryl's mind for the last few weeks. He had observed as his family had begun to become comfortable with their surroundings. He had watched as they had slowly begun to let their guards down. And if he was being completely honest, he had noticed himself doing the same thing. It terrified him. The normalcy of things. The way that their lives were slowly falling back into simple routines. He didn't want to let himself get too comfortable, but he was.

A loud squeal from Judith immediately brought his gaze to the two in the other room. Sunlight was cascading through the window, making Beth's blonde hair look even brighter, the rays reflecting off of the golden locks. His heart clenched in his chest when he heard the soft, sing-song laugh of Beth, lightly chastising Judith as her tiny hand wrapped around her necklace and tugged.

And it hit him. As he was watching her, it finally hit him. It was because of Beth. He was falling into routine and this new life because of the girl in the other room. Because he wanted this for her, because she deserved a simple and easy life. But in his attempt to give that to her, he was dragging himself in with it.

It was dangerous. He had never allowed himself to get comfortable before. He had never liked staying in one place for too long, because staying in one place and getting comfortable meant you were an open target. He didn't want to be a target. He didn't want to see anybody get hurt. He didn't want to see Beth get hurt. He had already failed her, and he was still trying to bring her back from that.

"You okay?"

"Fine," he grumbled, not breaking his focus from Beth, who was completely oblivious to the two adults watching her.

"You sure?"

"Said I'm fine."

"Alright," Carol said, doubt masked under her calm tone. "I'm gonna go outside, check up on the kids."

Daryl felt her presence beside him, watching him. She remained there for a few more minutes before leaving, the screen door opening with a creak before slamming shut, sending in a gust of warm air that blew the long strands of greasy hair framing his face.

Watching as Beth reached over and grabbed a can of baby food to feed Judith, Daryl thought back to that moment in the kitchen just after Maggie had left. It had just been himself and Beth, washing dishes, doing a task so completely normal. He had taken the plate from her and their fingers had touched. It was just a brief moment of contact between them, but he still felt the warmth of her skin against his, and he still could picture the way that Beth's cheeks had turned a barely visible shade of red. He hated to admit it, but seeing her like that, seeing her relaxed around him and able to feel his touch without panicking, it made him feel a warmth low in his belly that he hadn't felt before, and he wasn't quite sure what it meant.

Author's Note: So, there's finally an update! Finally! After months and months with no updates, it's finally here! I once again apologize for the very long delay, but my life was pretty hectic. I'm honestly not happy with this chapter, but I wanted to get something up. It's really short, but I plan on having the upcoming chapters be longer. I'm getting into the hang of writing for this fanfic again, so hang in there with me as I try to work things out again. And thank you so much for your patience and all of the kind words that you have been leaving in reviews and your PMs to me!