A Beautiful Secret

Genre: Romance, Hurt/Comfort.

Disclaimer: Sadly, Death Note is not mine.

Pairing: L/Light

Rating: NC17

Summary: AU. When L finally knew about Light's secret, it pretty much turned him on. Lemon.

Warnings: Intersex!Light. Very long and very explicit sex scenes involved.

AN: Well, this is my first attempt on DN fandom. Written for kink meme. It gets much longer than I original planned O.O Um, about three or four chapters than just a smutty oneshot. There'll be some graphic yaoi later on and it will be very explicit, because whenever I write a sex scene, it's always really, really long. So read at your own risk.

Also, this is unbetaed and unchecked so please feel free to point out any mistake you find.

Thanks!

-000-

L and Light were starting in on their seven solid month of dating. Everything was amazing, L mused as he silently admired the boy sitting next to him, who was cheerfully talking about the movie they were watching. They had just finished a difficult case after nearly two weeks of hark work, and now they finally had time for each other at L's apartment – which was nine floors above the task force area. Light had moved to live in the same floor with L since they started to date, though sometimes when the detective had a case that really needed to put more efforts, Light would stay to help him, with a separate bedroom that was prepared just for him. L had chosen to stay in Japan, where he had a smart, beautiful boy to love - the first one and only one he ever loved - and let him know the romantic aspects of a serious relationship. L had smiled and laughed more in the last few months than he had in…years. Maybe his entire life. He felt happy, and lucky for have such an perfect lover, whom he had decided to live with for the rest of his life.

But what had never occurred to him was how much pleasure he would get from the more physical side of things. It wasn't that he had not experienced it before. He had had sex with both men and women, even though all of them was just one night stands and nothing else. He knew well about sex, just as everything. But he had occasionally wondered about how he might react to be involved into sexual situations with the one he loved. He knew Light was a virgin, despite the brunette seemed so confident about everything and sure of himself, he was still a pure, virgin boy. He really didn't surprised at all when Light revealed that to him, because he was still so young, and L was the only person he ever wanted to spend his time with. The problem was, L was starting to feel like things weren't progressing fast enough. And he had thought about it more frequently, particularly when Light turned eighteen one month ago.

Light was beautiful, and tempting too. His touches and kisses felt so intense, they made L felt warm, alive with energy and desire. But he wanted more. He wanted to go further with Light. After all, they were in love for haft a year, and now Light had become a legal adult, so it was the time to do something different, not just kissing, grinding or heated but still so frustrating make-out sessions when they were alone.

L's mind had never been quite so…dirty before. Whenever he was really sexually-frustrated, he always had Light to think about as he pleasured himself, just never anything as specific as the actual act of sex, or more exactly, sex with Light. However, his fantasies had started to revolve around how sexy Light would look in a completely naked state with his legs spreading wide, how good it would taste to put his mouth on Light's penis, or how hot it would feel to be buried inside that beautiful, young body. It was driving him crazy.

So L had decided to take the initiative and made the first move. They were still sitting on the couch together, after a while Light cuddled closer to him and lay his head on L's shoulder, and that was when paying any attention to the movie became very, very difficult. Because really, how could he resist when he had a warm body leaning against him, with his pretty face, his clean, sweet scent, and rosy lips just begging to be kissed? And with that, he leaned down and took Light's chin, captured his lips in a chaste, gentle kiss, which was becoming all too familiar and natural to them. He felt Light smiling happily against his mouth before wrapping his arms around L's neck to deepen the kiss, and all those simple things were so lovely and sweet that just made L loved him more, and wanted him more, too.

Soon they ended up lying on the couch, still kissing, their legs intertwined as their mouths moving together like they'd been starving for it, with passion and desire rising in every second. Light's slender fingers twisted at the older man's black hairs and caressed his back, his shoulders, moving from one place to the other in a desperate motion as L's tongue dancing feverishly with his own, making him pant, trembling, and their mixed saliva was beginning to leak out from the corner of his swollen lips.

"Haah…Mm.." The brunette moaned breathlessly as L broke the long kiss to trail down his neck before latching his mouth on a cloth-covered nipple. He heard Light let out a shaking moan of 'Oh God Ryuuzaki' as he grazed the pert little nub with his teeth through the thin fabric and sucked it into his mouth, while one of his hand quickly unbuttoned a few of the top buttons on Light's shirt.

"You are beautiful…" L whispered huskily as he pulled the shirt to one side, enough to reveal a little expanse of the boy's creamy flawless skin and a pink hard nipple that was just pleading to be devoured. They had done this before - not so often though – making out with a shirtless Light, and occasionally when both of them were too caught up in passion's fire to do anything, they would rut against each other until they came in their pants. But this time L wanted to try something new. As he flicked his tongue over the round bud and sucking on it, the boy just got lost to the sensation, moaning and bucking beneath him. He could feel Light's erection, hot and hard and straining against his own. Everything was perfect.

"Nnngh..Haa..R-Ryuu..zaki?" The boy breathed heavily, digging his fingernails into the man's shoulder as L's cool hands slipped under his shirt to roam over his bare skin, his mouth still sucking on Light's abused nipple. The teen had never let him kiss lower than his chest, and his hands had never been allowed to go lower than his belly. But this was the moment to take the next step. He started moving one hand down Light's side, past his rib cage, over his waist, but right when his palm wandered to the boy's inner thigh, Light grabbed his wrist before he could even find and touch his erection. Just like other times before.

"Not…not there…" Light panted as the detective tried to move his hand back down again, causing L to pull back from his chest to look into his eyes.

"Why?" He studied Light's face, watching his chest moved as he breathed deeply, "You are eighteen now, Light…We have waited for this, haven't we?"

"Y-yes…" Light's lips were swollen, his cheeks flushed pink and his eyes lids were still drowsy with arousal, but there was a hint of something, something nervous and panic in those melting eyes. "But I…I can't—" L kissed him again before Light could finish his sentence.

"No intercourse yet, I promise. All I want just to touch you and taste you. It will feel good…" L whispered against the boy's lips.

"I know. But…please…I can't, Ryuuzaki. Just…can't. I'm sorry…" The expression on Light's face was…hurt. He turned his head to the side, and his tears was ready to seep over the curves of long lashes. It was so heartbreaking to see him like this. And L immediately cursed himself for pushing Light into this situation, for pressuring him into something he didn't want.

"It's ok...You haven't done anything wrong at all… I'm sorry for putting pressure on you…" L gently placed a kiss on Light's cheek and helped him sit up before wrapping his arms around the boy, just hugging him. Light trembled in his arms as he couldn't hold back any longer and sobbed painfully into L's chest. God, how could he do that to his lover? L couldn't help but felt a guilty feeling swelling in his chest at the thought. Something was terribly wrong and for the first time in his life, L had no clue about it. But Light had enjoyed what they just did just a minute ago, right? He knew it, not just because what Light said, but he could feel it too. Then…why?

As tentatively as he could, L lifted the boy's chin up to meet his gaze, "Can I know why?"

"I can't..I...I don't know how to say about it…Please...I don't want you to hate me…" Light managed to say.

"How can I hate you, Light?" The detective said softly. "Tell me the reason," he took another breath before continued quietly, "Did I do something make you uncomfortable? Or it's because…you don't really want me, do you?"

"God no!…It's not that…L…I do want you," Light cupped his face and looked up at him, his eyes fulled of tears. "Please believe me…I love you and really want to go all the way with you. I want you so much…" Light nearly choked on his words, "But I…can't. It's not your fault at all, I swear…It's just…just…"

"Shh…hush now, love…" L gently wiped the boy's tears away with his thumbs and hugged him tightly again. This was the first time since they met each other that he saw Light so…vulnerable. And so broken. It made his heart aching like it was being squeezed from inside, and he couldn't stand it anymore.

"It's all right, please calm down baby…" L soothed and stroked his soft hair. "Let's not think about it right now, okay?"

"I'm sorry..." Light muttered under his breath, "...I-I will tell you soon. I promise."

"Don't worry. I can wait until you're ready to tell me." The detective whispered and kissed his forehead before looking deep into Light's eyes. "Whatever it is, you don't have to deal with it alone. I love you, Light. No matter what happens, it will never change. Never. Do you understand?"

The amber in the boy's eyes seemed to melt at his words. He mumbled a soft 'yes' and leaned in to plant his lips on L's.

They stayed like that for a long time, holding each other close as if never wanting to let go until Light fell asleep in L's embrace. They could work it out together, whatever the problem was, L told himself as he watched the peaceful, angelic expression on his lover's face.

Yes, everything will be alright.

(TBC)

AN: I'm working on next chapter now (some smexy fun, I guess...) Thanks for reading and please review!