After an agonizing amount of school work (Ugh, math.) I have returned! And so, this is Warrior's Couple's Counseling, hosted by arguably one of the most evil cats ever to roam the Clans! Mapleshade! Hope ya like it :)

A ruffled looking tortoiseshell-and-white she-cat whips her fluffy white tail irritably.

"Silverstream, where is my coffee?!" She yowls.

"Quiet Mapleshade, you know caffeine isn't good for your…condition." A lithe silver tabby purrs sweetly. "I brought you some nice tea instead."

"Where are you?" Mapleshade meows. "Great Starclan, who turned off the fine focus?"

"Mapleshade," Silverstream sighs. "This is life, not a camera. Put on your glasses."

"Glasses? What glasses? Where? For the love of all things Darkforest-"

"Starclan. Remember, Mapleshade, you're reformed." Silverstream corrected.

"-where are those glasses?"

Silverstream shakes her head and puts down the steaming mug of tea. Fumbling in her leather handbag, she retrieves a pair of black rimmed half moon spectacles. Holding them out it front of her, she offers them to the tortie. Mapleshade fumbles for them, "Oh, those glasses." but finally manages to put them on (a little crookedly). Silverstream fixes them with a kind smile.

"I can fix my own glasses!" Mapleshade hisses. Then the grumpy older she-cat takes the warm mug from her therapist. She sniffs it carefully, scowling at the happy yellow smiley-face cat painted on the mug.

"And I ain't got no stinkin' condition." She grumbles. "Is this Lipton? You know I can't stand Lipton. Lipton is sour. DEATH TO LIPTON!" She shrieks, hucking the mug at the wall. The yellow smiley cat shatters into a thousand pieces. The she-cat then unsheathes her claws, and begins viciously attacking her red armchair. "I HATE LIPTON! DEATH TO LIPTON! WHOEVER INVENTED LIPTON I WILL KILL YOU AND RUIN THE LIVES OF ALL YOU LOVE!" She snarls.

"Mapleshade-" Silverstream begins, but the tortie cuts her off.

"You can't even get me a decent cup of tea! It's about time I hired a real assistant around here." Mapleshade gripes, fit of anger behind her.

"Oh, Mapleshade, just look what you did to that mug!" Silverstream sighs. "Those helpful cats at Happy Days Ahead Wellness Center gave you that one. I thought that by now your anger issues were behind us!"

"Oh, for the love of Starclan it's just a mug!"

"I liked that mug!"

"Yeah, well, Mr. Cheshire Grin over there-" Mapleshade argues, gesturing to the shattered yellow cat, "Was givin' me the creeps. Who the heck is that happy all the time?"

"It was a cartoon!" Silverstream rolls her eyes. "And just lok at this chair! Great Starclan, that's the third one this week! Now, if you don't mind, our first patients are waiting."

"Whose idea was it to do this whole thing anyway?" Mapleshade complains, walking over to the counsel room.

"Yours." Silverstream calls over her shoulder. "I'm going to go get you another drink."

"At least make it Earl Grey this time!" The tortoiseshell meows. She pads up to the large oaken door and enters.

" Hello, my name is Mapleshade. I've got a PhD in psychology, a doctoral degree in Law, 60 moons of rehab and at least three life sentences. I am here to solve your problems." She shut the door.

And it has begun! Here's a hint. Our first couple is rather famous, and I love 'em even though some find that a certain spotted she-cat would've been better with our favorite ginger...Whoops! I've said too much. I've got at least 37 episodes planned out sooooo yes. Will only continue if it gets a few reviews. I get discouraged somewhat easily.