Zelena & Robin

Zelena: Pardon me, sir.

Robin: Yes?

Zelena: I'm looking for a man they call Robin, I think?

Robin: Zelena, what do you want? I'm busy watching tv.

Zelena: Fine then, don't play along. I was simply trying to be nice, pinecone.

Robin: Yeah, yeah. What is it?

Zelena: So, this goes against my wishes completely but if I don't do it, I won't get any mocha lovin' anytime soon, if you know what I mean.

Robin: ….Please stop…

Zelena: Marian and I hope you will be at our wedding next week. The invitation should be popping in right about….now.

Robin: You had a bloody flying monkey bring it?!

Zelena: Technically he's one of your Merry Men but sure.

Robin: You know…I still don't like you.

Zelena: The feeling's mutual, Robbie.

Robin: Don't call me that. You and your mother have completely flipped my life upside down.

Zelena: Did we? Or did you and your dumb decisions do that?

Robin: The BOTH OF YOU.

Zelena: Tsk, tsk, tsk. Still in denial. I hope by the time the wedding rolls around, you'll man the hell up and not disappoint her again by not showing up. She and Roland really want you there.

Robin: Why?

Zelena: Because despite the ending of your marriage, she still sees you as her friend for some asinine reason. You don't bloody act like one though.

Robin: I…don't know what to say.

Zelena: Don't say anything. Just have your ass at the wedding because if you make my woman cry, if she even so much as frowns because of your absence, I'll send something much worse than a flying monkey to come retrieve you.

Robin: Alright, alright. I'll be there.

Zelena: Excellent! Good talk, Robbie. See you there!

Maleficent & Ursula

Maleficent: How's Cruella?

Ursula: Well, better but in a state of shock right now.

Maleficent: Why? What happened?

Ursula: I'm not sure. I left to get some water for her and when I came back, she was like this.

Maleficent: Did you tell the doctor or nurse?

Ursula: Yeah. They aren't sure what happened either.

Maleficent: Is she talking?

Ursula: Not really. She mumbles something every now and then.

Maleficent: That might be a clue.

Ursula: I doubt "Bloody fur. Make them bleed." is enough to go off of.

Maleficent: Hmm. Do you think anyone could have visited her while you were gone?

Ursula: I doubt it, I was only gone a few minutes but I mean, it's possible.

Maleficent: Someone like Snow...

Ursula: No...you don't think..?

Maleficent: Try asking Cruella.

Ursula: Oh my God.

Maleficent: Was I right?

Ursula: I think. I asked her if Snow came in here and Cru just tried to bury herself in my arms.

Maleficent: I'm coming down there and we're going to question that do-gooder.

Ursula: Are you sure that's a wise idea?

Maleficent: What do you mean?

Ursula: I mean, she's part of Regina's family right? Won't that get you into trouble?

Maleficent: I almost choked laughing. You do realize we're talking about Snow White right?

Ursula: Yeah, but still.

Maleficent: And Regina knows when to challenge my decisions.

Ursula: If you say so. Just don't call me when you get put in the doghouse.

Maleficent: Correction: Dragonhouse; the doghouse is for Swan. And I won't.

Ursula: We're in room 115.

Maleficent: On my way.

David & Emma

David: Have you talked to your mother today?

Emma: No, why?

David: Because she's sitting here smiling and honestly, it's sorta creepy.

Emma: Smiling like she's happy? Or smiling like she's secretly a serial killer..?

David: I think a little of both.

Emma: Ooohkay…Did you ask her why she looks so happy?

David: Yeah and she just looked at me, sighed and said "I knew it"

Emma: Are you sure it isn't the medicine talking?

David: Positive. I spoke with the doctor and she said they've taken your mother off the morphine.

Emma: And she won't say anything else but that?

David: Just this: "A hug a day keeps the doctor away"

Emma: I swear this family gets weirder by the day.

David: So do you.

Emma: Hey! I resent that. I'll stop by when we drop the guys off. We're almost back to Storybrooke.

David: How's Killian?

Emma: Who? Oh, Hook!

David: ….Yes.

Emma: Fine. Why?

David: Could you tell him hi for me?

Emma: …Yeah, but why can't you tell him yourself?

David: Things are complicated. Just tell him I'll never stop shopping CaptainCharming.

Emma: Ohmygod. I don't have enough alcohol to deal with this.

David:Tell him I will fight for this BroTP.

Emma: I wonder if Maleficent will be kind enough to share some of her sleeping curse..

Cora: BOOOO! CaptainCharming sucks ass. It's all about SwanQueen, RedDragon and DragonQueen bitches!

David: YOU SHUT UP.

Emma: Oh goddammit!

Cora: MAKE ME, PUNK ASS!

David: I WILL!

Emma: Please, will you two act like adults for once?

Cora: Hush it blondie, this is between adults. Worry about your car.

David: The next time I see you, it's WW4.

Emma: My father's fighting over a BroTP with a woman who can't even use a microwave. And yet, somehow, I'm the immature one….

Henry & Erin

Henry: So, do you have anything to say?

Erin: Henry, I'm so, so sorry.

Henry: Is that all? Because I want you to get it all out now.

Erin: I didn't mean to. I was just upset and lashed out.

Henry: Lashed out? Erin, you set my mom's CAR on fire.

Erin: I overreacted. I'm SORRY.

Henry: Overreacted is an understatement. You LOST YOUR MIND.

Erin: I wanted to make sure they didn't HURT YOU.

Henry: No. Because you could've texted me or called me first. Instead you jumped head first into madness.

Erin: It was the first thing I could think of.

Henry: Well you thought wrong. That car meant a lot to my mom, even if it looks like a piece of junk. It holds sentimental value and she was going to give to me as a gift but you took that away.

Erin: I didn't know! I'm sorry, Henry! It'll never happen again, please let me make it up to you!

Henry: You're right, it won't happen again because as of today, we're over.

Erin: Just like that!?

Henry: What do you mean, just like that? YOU SET MY MOM'S CAR ON FIRE!

Erin: I KNOW BUT IT WAS FOR YOU!

Henry: IT IS NOT MY FAULT THAT YOU WERE MISGUIDED ENOUGH TO BELIEVE THAT THEY WOULD ACTUALLY HURT ME.

Erin: WHAT DO YOU EXPECT WHEN I HEAR THEM THREATEN YOU!

Henry: I EXPECT YOU TO KNOW THAT I WOULD ASK FOR HELP IF I ACTUALLY FELT THAT I WAS IN DANGER! BOTH MY MOMS ARE FULL OF HOT AIR, I'M USED TO IT.

Erin: HOW WAS I SUPPOSED TO KNOW?!

Henry: ASK! YOU OPEN YOUR MOUTH TO ASK ABOUT EVERYTHING ELSE UNDER THE SUN!

Cora: DaaaaaAAAAAAAAMMMMNNNN. This tea is so goddamn good.

Erin: YOU KNOW WHAT, FINE! I WAS WRONG AND I'M SORRY.

Henry: Yeah, well. Apology not accepted. Have a nice life Erin.

Cora: I TOLD YOU! Better call 911 because BUUUUUUUURNNNNN!

Erin: …

A.N: Ello readers, I know this was an extremely late chapter but so much happened this month. I barely celebrated my 22nd birthday yesterday (WOOOT) and my grandparents celebrate their 50th wedding anniversary today (it's a beautiful sight to witness, you guys) so I'm so sorry about that. I've read all the suggestions for the next chapter and I'm going to do the wedding for sure. What I'm thinking of doing is do four text conversations like always, and then after, write out the wedding in a normal fanfic fashion. It'll be a long chapter, obviously, but I can't do a WickedMaiden wedding and not do them justice by writing it out. That way it should have something for everyone to enjoy. As always, thank you for reading, thank you for the consistently positive reviews, they never fail to brighten my day. I hope you continue to enjoy this as much as I do.