Epilogue: It's Never Really Over

Three days after the 'Wedding of The Year'…

"We'll she'll fly despite the holes in the sides," Big D grumbled as he fiddled with the controls of the Ark. "But barely."

"Doesn't have to go far or fly that well for its last flight," Colonel Booker said as he stood on the bridge. He spoke in his communicator. "Finn you ready out there?"

"We're ready to go," Finn said into a communicator as he sat on Jake who was super-sized. "Just give us the order."

"Engines engaged," Colonel Booker said as he sat the controls of the Ark. "We are go in five, four, three, two…one! Ignition! We have lift off!"

"We got this baby!" Jake called out as he helped pull the Ark along, taking giant steps in his giant form. "Easy as pie."

Also pulling the Ark was Lady Rainicorn, Stormo, and Morrow, Bubblegum's giant falcon. "We're almost to the landing zone!" Finn called out on his communicator. "Peebles! You ready?"

"Ready!" Bubblegum replied. She was wearing her lab coat over her jeans and top. Several Candy People, humans and a few other creatures of different kinds were there. "All you have to do is drop the Ark precisely in the coordinates I sent you."

She looked at a large hollowed out bit of land with several pipes sticking out and some gray lining on the sides. "Once you land the Ark the bonding adhesive should cement the location in almost immediately. This will make the Ark more stable and easier to connect to its new plumbing system. And we dug out an extra-large storage basement to make it easier to install an underground hydroponics lab and energy fusion chamber. Not to mention we precut some holes in the bottom of the Ark so the pipes will go through."

"Got it. All we gotta do is stop and drop," Finn spoke into the communicator. "Prepare for the drop zone Jake!"

"Preparing away bro!" Jake said. "How's it going Jake Jr.?"

"You're almost there Dad!" Jake Jr. was using her hair like a helicopter to hover in place guiding the team to the drop point. "A little to the left. A little more. A little more. There! Perfect! Initiate landing!"

"Landing initiated," Jake said as he helped push the Ark into place.

"Success!" Bubblegum cheered out. "Okay plumbers! You know what to do! Help connect all the new pipes that will supply water from the lake to the Ark. Not to mention the new waste disposal recycle system."

The workers went to it with great efficiency. "Man this is great! We helped the humans fix their new home!" Finn laughed as Jake went down to regular size.

"Piece of cake," Jake laughed. "Let's see how they're doing inside."

Soon Finn and Jake made their way to the bridge where Jason. Big D and Colonel Booker were. "Wow Jason this place looks better than it did the first time you showed me," Finn looked around with wonder.

"That's because all the sword holes and laser damage is fixed," Jason said. "Well it's official. We're home."

"It's a good thing the Ice King and Queen helped fill the new lake before they went on their honeymoon," Finn remarked. "And that the princess was able to use her science stuff to hollow out a man-made lake and a river connecting it to the Ice Kingdom."

"It won't be long before the Ark will have nice clean water and a way to safely dispose of waste without polluting the environment. I forget how it works but Bubblegum installed it in the Candy Kingdom years ago so it should work for you guys," Jake said. "Hey what's wrong? You guys look a little down."

"Yeah you have a new home now," Finn said. "And you're rebuilding. This is a happy day."

"Oh we have food and shelter now," Colonel Booker said. "And plenty of restocked medical supplies thanks to the Candy Kingdom and the Grocery Kingdom. And now we have water thanks to the Ice King but…"

"But…?" Finn frowned.

"It's still not enough. Most of our weapons and vehicles are destroyed or badly wrecked. The Ark is half damaged. What's left of our army is pretty much demoralized," Colonel Booker sighed. "It's like most of them are in shock."

"Well we did get beaten by penguins, wizards and a pink kitten," Jason groaned. "Nearly eaten alive by rainicorns. And Barton…I don't even want to think what would have happened if he succeeded."

"I thought you guys would have cheered up after the wedding reception?" Jake said. "Well once we convinced Betty to bring the Ice King down from that tree. And to put their clothes back on…"

"I'm not saying it didn't have its moments," Colonel Booker grumbled. "It's just that some of our people are still a bit shell shocked. Especially after that firefight at the end."

"Yeah again, sorry about FP getting into it with LSP," Finn winced. "Those two never really got along."

"I meant the other firefight at the end," Colonel Booker groaned.

"You mean when Flame King got drunk and did his impression of a water fountain?" Jake asked. "With fire?"

"No, the actual other firefight at the end," Colonel Booker gave him a look.

"Oh yeah when those fire breathing gophers crashed the party," Jake remembered.

"Yeah that," Colonel Booker groaned. "Just curious, how many weird things are on this continent?"

"Define weird," Finn blinked. "Actually fire breathing gophers are kind of normal around here so…"

"Never mind," Colonel Booker groaned. "I don't want to know anymore."

"You guys froze yourselves for a thousand years and flew around in outer space and you think that's not weird?" Jake asked.

"I know it's just…" Colonel Booker sighed. "I was able to see some of the footage of the battle from the black boxes of the wrecked vehicles. I wasn't even there and…"

"It was pretty rough man," Big D said. "Gonna be a long time before our guys get over it. If ever."

"Maybe it's not such a bad thing right now?" Finn spoke up. "Maybe now those soldiers will think twice before starting fights and following orders from someone who wants to kill so many people? I never want to see another battle like that ever again."

"We learned an important lesson the hard way," Colonel Booker nodded. "The Earth doesn't exclusively belong to the human race. We have to learn to live with other species in peace."

"It's not that hard you know?" Finn said. "You just have to get past the whole human thing and see everyone as people. Even if they don't look like it."

"I can't think of anyone better to teach us that," Colonel Booker smiled. "You've got a big job Finn. We have a lot to learn from you."

"We're also going to have to learn how to grow our own food and fix our own home," Jason groaned. "Out of all the geniuses we have here I think only two of us know how to plant a seed."

"PB knows stuff about growing, she can teach you," Finn waved. "And I know all about Ooo! I can show you guys stuff. Oh and teach you how to dungeon crawl so you can get money."

"Dungeon crawl? Never mind…" Jason let out a breath.

"Sounds like fun to Big D," Big D grinned.

"You would like it," Finn smiled. "I'll take you out to this new dungeon sometime."

"At least the Ark finally has a permanent home," Colonel Booker sighed. "Now all we have to do is fix it up."

"I'm surprised so much of the ODL was intact when it crashed," Jason folded his arms as he looked out the window. A large metal tower like object was seen outside. "But once it's fixed up and connected to the ship it'll be the perfect security tower."

"We'll still call it the Ark," Colonel Booker said. "When it's fully repaired and renovated there will be enough room for over two thousand people."

"There's not even a hundred of us, let alone two thousand," Big D sighed.

"All the more reason we need to start rebuilding our civilization," Jason said. "A better one. Hopefully we've learned from the mistakes of the past."

"Still a lot more now than there was a few months ago," Finn pointed out. "It's just great to be not the only human in the world anymore."

"I guess from your point of view fifty six humans moving in are a lot," Jason smiled.

"When Bee showed up it was huge," Finn admitted. "Now it's like gigantic! Mathematically gigantic! I just wish…You know? Why did Damon and General Barton have to go so power crazy? And why was almost everyone so willing to follow them?"

"During the war those two were seen as heroes," Big D explained. "At the very end they saved a lot of lives with their plan to use the Ark and other stasis ships. Most of those guys would have willingly given their lives for them."

"Still no excuse for being greedy," Jake frowned. "If only they were willing to share…"

"I can't argue with that," Jason sighed. "We humans have a lot of work to do to make up for what we've done. Not just to repair our species, but to undo the damage we caused to the Earth."

"I've broken down the numbers of what we have to work with," Colonel Booker read. "Of the fifty six survivors twenty nine are soldiers including ourselves. Twenty seven people are scientists, doctors, nurses and technicians. There are only 19 women on board and thirty seven males."

"And Big D knows at least five of those ladies are in committed relationships," Big D frowned. "That's not good for Big D's social life."

"There's no two ways about it. We need more people in order to build a thriving colony," Jason sighed. "Maybe we'll get lucky when the other stasis ships arrive but still there's always a chance something will happen."

"And maybe we can find other humans already on Earth? When we arrived we noticed that there are now eight other continents besides Ooo," Big D added. "And tons of uncharted islands. Odds are some humans must live on one of them."

"I've been going over the files. There are fifteen different bases that had stasis pods on Earth," Colonel Booker brought up a holographic map of the Earth as it was. "That we know of anyway. Now let me adjust the coordinates to see how they measure up to the Earth of today."

"Whoa…" Jake blinked as the map changed. "That can't be good."

"Well I think we can rule out these two right here by the crater," Jason pointed. "And three of them are underwater."

"That doesn't necessarily mean there's no one there," Big D said. "It's just the odds are a lot longer."

"And there has to be other humans somewhere around the world," Finn said. "I mean. Where did I come from?"

"Are you sure you have no other clues besides you were found by this Boom Boom Mountain?" Jason asked.

"Dude I've been searching around that mountain for years but I found nothing," Finn sighed. "Not even a halfway decent dungeon."

"And my Dad looked around that mountain to find any sign of Finn's family for over a year before he just gave up," Jake admitted. "And he was really good at finding stuff so…"

"We've been thinking that once we fix up the X-5 and make it salvageable again it should be used as an exploratory ship," Colonel Booker said. "The goal is to look for other humans. Hopefully we can fix it up enough so we can scan the other continents."

"I didn't even know there were any other continents," Finn said.

"Well most of them are on the other side of the planet for some reason," Big D shrugged. "So that's probably why Ooo doesn't have many transatlantic visitors."

"Oh wow! I can't wait to go on missions to find other humans!" Finn whooped.

"Sorry Finn you're going to have to sit this one out," Jason said. "You have a very important job here as an ambassador between the humans and the rest of Ooo. Not to mention keeping the peace."

"Yeah I guess you're right," Finn sighed.

"What we need is a guide and some crewmembers we can spare," Jason said.

"The problem is we can't spare anyone," Colonel Booker said. "You and Big D will have to be the only soldiers I can afford to send out."

"What about a medic? We need at least one medic!" Big D said.

"Dr. Nadal is our only physician left and his two nurses are needed here as well," Colonel Booker said.

"I believe I have the solution to your problem," Dr. Princess spoke as she walked in with Bubblegum, Jake Jr. and Dr. Nadal. "I am Dr. Princess and I've been studying human anatomy and physiology. I can be your doctor."

"What about all your other patients?" Jake asked.

"There's a few new interns that can take over and I'm sure Dr. Dextrose and Dr. Ice Cream can fill in," Dr. Princess said.

"Well that will help," Jason nodded.

"There is another solution if things get dire," Bubblegum said. "We have enough viable human DNA so it is possible to create and clone more humans."

"You can do that?" Jason blinked.

"How do you think my ancestors and I created the Candy People?" Bubblegum asked.

"Well I hate to say it but that might not be a bad idea," Colonel Booker sighed. "But let's keep that on the shelf for now until we're really desperate. Find out how many humans there are first."

"Hey! I know! I can come with you along with my family and be your crew!" Jake Jr. spoke up. "My brothers and sisters and I can totally help you out!"

"One of their abilities is teleportation," Big D admitted. "That could come in handy."

"Are you sure the others would want to go?" Finn asked.

"You know how my family loves to travel! It'd be a great opportunity for them. Besides TV really needs to get out of Mom's house," Jake Jr. waved.

BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!

"What was that?" Jake yelled as an explosion rocked the Ark.

"Not another invasion!" Jason groaned.

"No, I think it's something else!" Bubblegum groaned. They looked out into the hallway saw Carter and Briggs staggering out covered in jelly. Two Banana Guards were with them and also covered in jelly.

"Whoa, what a rush," Carter snorted.

"Banana Guards! How many times do I have to tell you not to set off jelly bombs inside a building?" Bubblegum snapped.

"Jelly bombs? Aw man we missed it!" Finn snapped his fingers. "Jelly bombs rock!"

"And they're tasty!" Jake licked his lips.

"What were you two idiots doing?" Colonel Booker yelled.

"Trying out jelly bombs! These things are good!" Carter licked some jelly off his sleeve. "Uh jelly?" He offered his sleeve.

"No uh, I'm on a diet," Bubblegum groaned.

"On second thought I can spare two soldiers!" Colonel Booker snapped. "Carter! Briggs! You're on the team! If only to get you out of my hair every now and then!"

"Great! What team?" Briggs blinked.

"You can have some of my Banana Guards too," Bubblegum frowned.

"You realize there's a chance these missions could be dangerous and they could get killed?" Jason raised an eyebrow.

The Banana Guards giggled and started throwing jelly everywhere. "That's a chance I'm willing to take," Bubblegum sighed. "Seriously if something happens to them I'm not gonna complain about it."

"Come on! Let's blow up more jelly bombs outside!" Finn said cheerfully.

"Yeah!" Carter and Briggs said at the same time.

"Then again maybe Finn and Jake could be spared for one or two missions…" Colonel Booker groaned as Finn and his friends ran outside to blow more stuff up.

"Why do you think I send those two on missions all the time?" Bubblegum gave him a look.

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Meanwhile deep in the South Pole the Ice King and new Ice Queen were honeymooning for a week in a secret castle. Centuries ago Simon had made it connecting his kingdom to a hideout far from Ooo. This had proven useful over the centuries when every now and then the Ice King had to lie low to hide from angry kingdoms or wizards gunning for his blue hide.

They left Gunter in charge of the Ice Kingdom to keep everything running. It was a blissful week for the two of them with the exception of this moment.

Simon looked at the crown alone in his bedroom. "I'm still mad at you," He said in a disappointed tone.

He took a deep breath. "I know you were controlled by Sifine too. But…It still hurts to think about it. What you took from me. But…I'm learning to live with it."

"Let's get this straight…Betty, Marceline and Finn…They come first. Understand?" Simon said in a stern tone. "Not to mention Gunter and the penguins."

"And another thing, no more of this memory wiping nonsense! Got it? Even if those memories that come back are painful…I'd rather have them than live in the fog I've been living in all these centuries."

He picked up the crown. "Just so we understand each other," He said softly. "We'll work through this. We always do."

Meanwhile on the other side of the castle…

"I know this isn't going to be easy," Betty sighed as she brushed her hair. "Simon's been through a horrible ordeal. That witch…what she did to him! Serves her right to digest in Hunson's stomach for a thousand years! Even that's too good for her!"

"Now comes the hard part," Betty sighed. "Poor Simon. But I'm going to make it right. It will be a long road to recovery but we've already taken the first steps. What he needs is not to be isolated anymore. And there's only so much I can do."

She looked at her tiara on the dresser table. "Well, what we can do. First of all we are going to schedule more family time. Yes more bonding with Marceline, Finn and Jake! That will do Simon a world of good. Don't you think?"

"Don't worry," Betty kissed her tiara lovingly. "Together we're going to make everything better for Simon and everyone else. You'll see." She then put it on and went to check on her husband.

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Peppermint Butler was not having a good day.

Then again ever since the disastrous alliance with the wizards every day was not that good. It had only been less than a week since the incident which was already dubbed 'The Battle of The Candy Kingdom'. And word had already spread throughout Ooo like wildfire. And Peppermint Butler's participation in the events had not gone unnoticed.

"This is a very unfortunate turn of events," The little candy mint grumbled as he walked down a dark dusty road in the Badlands. He wore a brown cloak to cover his body as best he could. "Stupid Ash! This is all his fault!"

He stopped and thought. "No, it's mine. I should have known a wizard would have double crossed me!" He stormed off again into the Badlands, pondering his fate.

Peppermint Butler grumbled as he wandered. "I can't go back to Princess Bubblegum. She'll throw me in the dungeon or worse. I'm wanted by the wizards, humans and even the Marauders for what happened with Ash. If the Ice King catches me I'm a frozen peppermint popsicle. I'm sure Flame Princess told her father about my involvement and he's never been happy to see me. He'll use any excuse he can to burn me to a crisp. Or convince his daughter to do it. I almost got caught in the Goblin Kingdom by the goblin bankers I owe money too. Odds are Finn and Jake will be on my trail sooner or later. I have to get out of Ooo and fast."

He pulled out a small map. "If I keep on this road I'll head straight to Chicken Blood Cove. Fortunately there's a small tavern filled with mercenaries, assassins and pirates in the port city. Lucky for me I managed to recover some of the money I hoarded from the Candy Treasury over the years. If I'm lucky I can book passage with some down on his luck ruffian and get out of Ooo before anyone has any idea who I am and there's a real bounty on my head."

"And here I thought I would live the rest of my life in the Candy Kingdom," Peppermint moaned. "True Ooo is a bit of a backwater compared to some of the other places I've been but it's relatively peaceful. Or it was until now. How could this happen to me again? I swore after the last time I would do my best to keep out of trouble but still…"

"Come on Peppermint," He said to himself. "Pull yourself together. This isn't the first time you've had to skip town because of the things you've done. Hmmm…I wonder if the statute of limitations has run out for what I did in Mintopolis in land of Eee?"

He frowned. "No, I can't go there either! Hunson has spies all over that city! And I don't want to think what he'll do to me if he…" He shuddered violently.

"Okay…Think again. Wait a minute…There's always the continent of Id! That's on the other side of the world! Almost no one on Ooo even knows it exists!" Peppermint Butler realized. "Good thing I had the foresight to tear out all references to it in the royal library!"

The little mint thought some more. "Well it has been over eight hundred years since I've last been there. I'm pretty sure they've forgotten about me by now. And Id is ten times the size of Ooo. It could be decades before they find me! And I don't even look like I used to when…All right! Id it is! And I know just the lowlife to bring me there."

It wasn't long before he made his way to the tavern at Chicken Blood Cove. "Captain Squeegee, we meet again…" Peppermint Butler said as he sat at a table in the back. He looked at a lemur like individual with long ears, gray fur, a pirate's hat and clothes.

"Aye it's been an age since this sea dog laid eyes on ye Peppermint Butler," Captain Squeegee spoke with a pirate accent. "What can this old sea dog do for ye?"

"For starters you can stop with the stupid fake pirate accent," Peppermint Butler snapped. "I'm not a tourist!"

"Sorry," Captain Squeegee shrugged speaking in a Boston accent. "My girl says that talking like a pirate would help business."

"Yes well I have got some business for you," Peppermint Butler said. "I need you to sail me out of Ooo to Id tonight! If not sooner!"

"You want out of Ooo? Wouldn't happen to be because of that spot of trouble you got involved in at the Battle of the Candy Kingdom would you?" Captain Squeegee asked.

"You know about that?" Peppermint Butler hissed.

"Word gets around fast," Captain Squeegee whispered. "The wizards already got a bounty on your red and white hide."

"Well I can pay twice as much as any wizard," Peppermint Butler said. "You know I'm good for it. And besides! You owe me! You and your crew would still be rotting away in the Candy Kingdom's dungeons if I hadn't smuggled you out and put up those fake skeletons in your place!"

"Hey I never said I wouldn't get you out of Ooo," Captain Squeegee held up his hands. "I'm not exactly the biggest fan of wizards myself either. Just saying. I remember what a hassle it was getting you out of Id all those years ago."

"And now I'm going back," Peppermint Butler said. "Besides most of the witnesses are dead anyway. There's very little danger in me returning. And a big payoff for you if you get me there."

"It's not going to be easy," Captain Squeegee frowned.

"Since when has that ever stopped you?" Peppermint Butler remarked.

"All right," Captain Squeegee grumbled. "I can get you out of Ooo. I can promise you that much. Wait here. I have to get something." He got up and went into the back room.

Peppermint Butler almost breathed a sigh of relief. But not yet. Not until he was safely out of Ooo and on the shores of…

Wait, why exactly does Squeegee need to go in the back room? His paranoia kicked in. Without thinking he practically ran to the back room.

Only in time to hear the words…

"Et cum spiritum!"

"NO!" Peppermint Butler realized too late what the captain had done.

FOOOOM!

"Well hell-ooooo Pep-Butt," The Lord of the Nightosphere himself emerged from the portal. "A week. Hmmm…Funny for some reason I thought you'd last longer."

"Squeegee!" The candy butler glared at his traitorous friend. "How could you sell me out like that? After all I've done for you!"

"Sorry Peppermint," Captain Squeegee said sheepishly. "Got myself in a bit of a jam and turning you in is the only way out."

"True, Squeegee consider your debt paid," Hunson glared at the pirate. "Thank your gods that I already had a big breakfast of souls this morning and go! If anyone asks, Peppermint Butler sailed off to sea on another boat to parts unknown! Got it?"

"Y-Yes my lord!" Captain Squeegee ran for his life.

"Squeegee you traitorous little…" Peppermint Butler snarled. A growl from Hunson silenced him.

But not for long as Hunson dragged him back into the Nightosphere. "AAAAAHHH!"

Before he realized it Peppermint Butler was in Hunson's office. "Now, let's have a little talk…" Hunson smirked.

"My lord please! Before you torture me I beg you to let me tell my side of the story!" Peppermint Butler spurted. A glare from Hunson silenced him.

"Peppermint Butler if I thought for one second that you actually planned what happened with Ash I would have already snapped you into little pieces and placed you in a mint bowl on my nightstand," Hunson snarled.

"Aahhh…" Peppermint Butler shirked back in fear.

Hunson then changed his demeanor. "Fortunately for you I know you too well. I mean I created you after all. I know you would never deliberately double cross me. No, you were led astray by that horrible Ash and his friends."

"Yes sir! That's what happened!" Peppermint Butler said feverently. "I swear the plan was for you to eat the souls of most of the humans! You know? Keep a couple on the side because they have their uses but still…"

"Yes, yes I know," Hunson waved. "I mean come on! That twerp Ash fooled me! ME! The Lord of the Nightosphere! So I can't blame you for a trap that I should have seen coming a mile away! Hellfire I'm losing my touch! This is why I want Marceline to take over my job. She'd never make that sort of rookie mistake."

"But enough about me," Hunson looked at Peppermint Butler. "Let's cut to the chase. Unfortunately for you dear Princess Bubblegum isn't so forgiving is she? And wizards have long memories and hold onto grudges longer. And the humans and all the other species on Ooo are probably a bit ticked off with you as well."

"It's all just a misunderstanding," Peppermint Butler. "I was trying to help them!"

"Of course you were. But you know that no good deed goes unpunished," Hunson shrugged. "Basically you're out of a job, homeless and in the top ten of Ooo's Most Wanted."

Hunson smiled and put his hand on Peppermint Butler. "But I am a very forgiving person. In fact I want you to come back to work for me. You were after all the best butler I ever had. The only reason I sent you the Candy Kingdom was to do some spying on them. Well that and I lost a bet. Stupid Simon and his tendencies to blurt out the obvious!"

"It would be an honor to work for you again, Sire," Peppermint Butler said in a sincere tone.

"That's what I thought. It will be like the bad old days. I even got you a little present," Hunson smiled. "A welcome back gift."

"Pr-Present?" Peppermint Butler gulped.

"Oh don't worry. You'll like this one," Hunson smirked. "I'd like you to meet your new assistant. Candy Button."

A round pink figure with arms and legs in a little butler's suit emerged. "I live to serve Sir," He said in a soft voice.

"I bet you're wondering where I got him. It's the funniest thing," Hunson remarked. "See after the incident I remembered that my buddy Death owed me a gambling debt. Had a little talk with him and his bosses and we all came to the conclusion that this was the perfect way for me to get some payback. I mean to be paid back. Take a good look and see what I mean."

Peppermint Butler looked into Candy Button's beady eyes. He gasped. "Is that Bar…"

"Uh uh, Button now," Hunson wagged his finger. "Candy Button. Had his memory wiped. You know how these things go. But he is very willing to work hard and do anything you command."

"Not that I don't appreciate the irony, Sire," Peppermint Butler blinked. "But what is the real reason you are giving him to me?"

"I need you to train him to do your job," Hunson smirked. "Candy Button is going to be your replacement in the Candy Kingdom. Basically he'll do what you used to do. You know? Cook, clean. Spy on what's going on there. Only he won't have any conflicting loyalties."

"Uh…" Peppermint Butler gulped.

"Again that was my fault," Hunson waved. "I ordered you to be loyal to your new masters. And I admit Bubblegum is cute in a disgusting sugar coated way. Little wonder you became attached. But you know? Out with the old and in with the new. Only this time you are going to be a little higher on the food chain if you pardon a pun."

"I see Sire," Peppermint Butler admitted. "And what are your instructions considering the…care I take with Candy Button?"

"Well I don't want him smashed into pieces or damaged physically if that's what you mean," Hunson smirked. "But other than that…You can use your…imagination."

"I see," Peppermint Butler frowned. "Sire…When was the last time the Sluice Gates on the North Blood Wall were cleaned?"

"Oooh that's a good question," Hunson thought. "I think the last time was when you worked here."

"I thought so," Peppermint Butler nodded. He turned to Candy Button. "Get a toothbrush and meet me at the North Blood Wall in ten minutes! You are going to clean them until they shine! You have a lot of work to do if you ever want to hope to come up to my standards so you'd better crack to it! Your pink butt is mine! Understand?"

"Yes sir! Right away sir!" Candy Button ran in fear to start his task.

"See this is why I need you back here!" Hunson clapped his hands. "You always knew how to run a tight ship and get things done!"

"Are there any other chores that have been neglected since my departure Sire?" Peppermint Butler asked.

"Too many to count," Hunson groaned.

"I'll make a quick estimation after I deal with Candy Button and make a list of things to be done," Peppermint Butler nodded. "With your permission sir, I'd like to also have a list of those who have made the mistake of transgressing your laws…"

"Oh I see where you are going with this," Hunson grinned. "Gonna do it like the old days eh, Peppermint?"

"If you allow it sire. A little discipline is what is sorely needed among your troops in the Nightosphere," Peppermint Butler remarked.

THUD!

A beach ball flew through the window of the office and hit Hunson on the head. "Tell me about it," Hunson groaned.

"Let me guess," Peppermint Butler raised an eyebrow. "You negotiated the last contract by yourself didn't you?"

"Yeah. That was a big mistake," Hunson groaned.

THUD!

Another beach ball flew in. "I really should have read my own fine print," Hunson moaned. "Peppermint Butler if you don't mind…?"

"I'll uh look for a loophole in the contract by the end of the day," Peppermint Butler groaned. "Or write one in. Whichever is easier."

"Excellent," Hunson smirked as he folded his hands. "Funny how things work out isn't it? Maybe these humans running around in Ooo isn't such a bad thing after all? In fact it might not be a bad idea to encourage their species a little. However this time I'll be the one guiding their evolution."

"So make them evil but not too evil?" Peppermint Butler blinked.

"I think they've got enough evil right now," Hunson groaned. "I just have to find a way to channel it. Less blow everything up and more…cunning and chaos. The possibilities are intriguing. Ooh! It's machinations time! I haven't done some good machinations in centuries! Oh yeah! This is just what I need to get the old evil juices going again!"

Hunson smiled. "Oh yes. This is going to be a fun game. And I have all the time in the world to play it."

THUD!

"Speaking of games…" Hunson growled as another beach ball flew in.

"If you don't mind, Sire?" Peppermint Butler suggested. Hunson motioned. Peppermint Butler went to the window. "ALL RIGHT YOU LOSERS! STOP DONKING AROUND AND GET BACK TO WORK!"

"Oh no! I thought he left! Not him again!" Groans were heard.

"That's right! I'm back! And this time I won't go easy on you slackers!" Peppermint Butler snapped. "When I'm through with you lot you'll be begging for the days of the hot pokers and the tasers! NOW GET BACK TO WORK OR YOU ARE ALL FIRED! And by fired I mean fired out of a cannon! NOWWWW!"

"Oh I missed that!" Hunson laughed. "I forgot how much fun it is to watch you crack the whip!"

"If you will excuse me Sire I not only have to start with Candy Button's training," Peppermint Butler bowed. "I have to start getting the entire Nightosphere back on track. And by that I mean putting the man who was supposed to replace me on the track in front of a moving train."

"Already done," Hunson waved. "Gotta warn you I let a lot of things go. So uh, don't worry about getting everything done by the end of the day. Or the week. Or…Well you get the idea."

"Yes Sire. However compared to some of the messes Cinnamon Bun made in the past I'm sure I will be able to handle it if allowed to give my staff the proper motivation," Peppermint Butler said. "And speaking of which Sire when was the last time you had a decent massage? I know your muscles must still be sore after your ordeal at the hands of Ash."

"I have been tense lately," Hunson rubbed his shoulder. "Let's see…uh…"

"Never mind," Peppermint Butler waved. "I will schedule your massage for 4 PM sharp Nightosphere Time. I assume Raoul is still alive?"

"Oh yes! Book him! He's the best!" Hunson grinned.

"It shall be done Sire. And your desires for dinner tonight?"

"Uh I don't know. I'm still a little full from eating that evil spirit in Simon's crown," Hunson patted his stomach. "But I could use something spicy. Surprise me."

"Very well," Peppermint Butler looked around, eager to do something else to please Hunson. After all, it was never a bad idea to make the Lord of the Nightosphere happy. "Hmmm…First I should tidy up your office. You haven't had anyone looking after you properly have you Sire?"

"Well no," Hunson admitted. "I've had a few dozen butlers but they just weren't up to snuff. Not even as appetizers. Ah, thank you Peppermint. It's so good to have you back again."

"At least you appreciate all that I do for you," Peppermint Butler sighed as he poured Hunson a drink. "Which is more than I could say for that ungrateful priss of a princess I've been working for!"

"I know! I've seen how she is!" Hunson nodded as he took the drink.

"You know Sire, it says something when the Lord of All Evil is more appreciative than a candy princess!" Peppermint Butler was fuming. "No offense intended."

"None taken. Like I said I've seen how she is and quite frankly I'm amazed you didn't burn that castle to the ground with her in it years ago!" Hunson shrugged.

"You ordered me not to sire. Well technically you ordered me to be loyal so…" Peppermint Butler waved. "But still Sire if I had known that you were so neglected I would have come back in a heartbeat! Then I would rip out the beating heart of the fool that couldn't handle my duties!"

"Again already done," Hunson waved. "But I have to say I am shocked at how badly the princess treated you. You were only trying to protect her and what thanks did you get?"

"NONE!" Peppermint Butler snapped. "I've been nothing but faithful to the princess and the first little mistake I made in hundreds of years and bam! I'm on the streets! Oh I am sorry Sire I don't mean to bother you with my little problems."

"Nonsense," Hunson waved. "I love hearing people gripe about their bosses. As long as it's not me, but go on."

"I'm just saying the Candy Kingdom wouldn't be standing if it wasn't for me!" Peppermint Butler straightened up the office in anger. "Who do you think was running the kingdom while Bubblegum was locked in her lab playing scientist? Hmmm?"

"I'm guessing it wasn't Cinnamon Bun," Hunson smirked.

"Please! I'm done cleaning up the messes of that dullard!" Peppermint Butler snapped. "I was the one keeping the Candy Kingdom together! I was the one who paid the bills, organized the treasury, made sure the treaties were being kept! Keeping the underworld bosses in line with a few bribes every now and then so the Princess wouldn't be targeted. Not to mention solving a few crimes that the police just couldn't handle. Why the princess would still be in Wizard Jail if I hadn't paid off the Wizard Council!"

"Technically she wouldn't because you know?" Hunson waved. "It's burned to the ground now. But I see your point."

"And not only did I have to run her kingdom I had to keep the castle clean, run the castle like a well-oiled machine and clean up after stupid Cinnamon Bun who should have been kicked out years ago!" Peppermint Butler was fuming. "I gave that woman some of the best years of my life! Even if she did constantly slander my magical beliefs."

"I'm gonna say it," Hunson waved. "The woman is an intolerable ungrateful little science snob."

"I'm not saying she didn't have her moments but the more I think about it the more I realize how unappreciated I was," Peppermint Butler frowned. "Bubblegum wants to run her kingdom by herself? Let her! I give it three months before it starts to fall apart."

"She's not going to be happy once she realizes that nobody is going to pick up her slack anymore," Hunson smirked. "And that she's going to spend a lot less time in her lab than she likes."

"Oh yes she will," Peppermint Butler smirked. "Sire if you will excuse me I have some duties to perform as well as starting Candy Button's training."

"Go right ahead," Hunson waved. Peppermint Butler left the room. "Oh yes I definitely started the seeds of something there. Mach-in-ations. Oh yeah…This is going to be so much fun!"