A/N: I haven't actually seen the whole movie Cop and a Half. But I have seen parts of it, as well as it's trailers, and what was shown of it on Siskel & Ebert, and I've even read its reviews and synopsis, especially Ebert's, which was one of the few positive reviews. So I hope little Devon isn't too OOC here, if at all.

Disclaimer: I do not own Cop and a Half.

Pint-Sized Cop Kid

You gotta see the fun side of being a man with a badge. You get to carry a gun and those gleaming handcuffs, you can cuff those ding dang bullies that commit the crimes every day, you can shoot at guys who don't agree with you when you order them to surrender themselves to the authorities, and best of all, if you're an eight-year-old like me, you're able to give a speeding ticket to your own school principal, talk tough with him, and get away with it. Life as a cop is one rad ride, and it's the ride for me, Devon Butler, partner of adult Detective Nick McKenna.

But I can't forget that this country has laws, too, and if a cop doesn't follow them the way he teaches the citizens to do so, he's sure in for a lotta trouble of his own. That's why I watch all the famous cop shows and lawyer shows on TV. A boy like me, destined to become a policeman, needs to know all the police procedures and courtroom lingo in order to make a bust and make it stick, or else the bad guys won't spend their sentenced time sitting behind the gray bars and eating mashed potatoes without gravy and veggies, and drinking plain water. I could even end up there myself if I don't handle myself like a pro. I just can't live without soda, especially Pepsi, and mashed potatoes and veggies? Yuck! Give me a hot dog or a burger and some fries, instead.

Luckily, the Cops reality show on the Fox Channel is there to educate and entertain me. Man, those girls and boys in blue really are the thing! They go through tough situations and tackle crooks, and they remain gentle beings while showing those nasty bullies who's tougher. What's more, they don't let those bullies hurt my friends, like good ol' Ray, my best buddy in the whole world, with those gross narcotics they make money off of. Dragnet and Hawaii Five-O are awesome, too. Who can't love or worship Sergeant Friday or Detective McGarrett? They get the job done like real nice, real smooth, like mercury on a steel plate. Mom always tells me I'm too young to be watching this stuff, but she doesn't understand that a cop has to learn the rough parts of his job as well as the smooth ones, and that means watching them take down killers and dope dealers.

I know that I'm gonna be one of the best cops in Florida someday, unless we move to another state, then I'll be the best cop in that state. Maybe I'll be one of the best in the whole country. Nick and Captain Rubio, who originally didn't like me much, are now pulling for me to make it in the force, and I'll sure as heck make them proud one day. Yup, that's me, Officer Devon Butler, the bestest policeman in all of the USA!